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Indiechick

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Monday, January 11th 2010, 5:08pm

Refusing breastfeeds

Oh noooooo Squeak is totally refusing breastfeeds is this the end of the line for him? Pip however is more than happy to feed for England but his little brother just wont.

He has been ill over the last few months and has been in and out of hospital and at times has had to be fed through a tube in his nose, then recently he's had another round of bronciolitus and a mouth full of ulcers all of which has afected his feeding but he had resumed normal feeding until Saturday. He is fighting fit now and will greedily take a bottle of EBM and so I know it's not to do with illness. Instead of latching on he will pull my nipple with his teeth and then pull his whole head away. I'll sit him up and try again he will do this twice and then from there on he won't even turn his head towards my breast, what's happening? I'm not ready to stop feeding him yet!

Also any ideas when I should be moving to three feeds a day as opposed to 4?


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Monday, January 11th 2010, 6:31pm

hey hun
I'm sorry i have no idea but didnt want to read and run!!
Maybe because he has been ill and has had been fed in different ways he has realised that the bottle is easier?
poor lil lad glad he better though hun
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Indiechick

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Monday, January 11th 2010, 6:42pm

Hello Gorgeous!

That's what I'm worried about, lazy little imp! Have also heard that at some point they can just grow out of it and not want to anymore . . . .thank heavens for my other one who is a greedy booby monster who'll I'll probably still be feeding at 12 years old!!!

x


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mrsjasper

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Monday, January 11th 2010, 9:00pm

Hi Indiechick,
Been reading about 'nursing strikes' as my little one recently decided not to feed after I got a bit cross with her sinking her tooth into my boob. Thankfully it only lasted a short while for me but I picked up a few tips on the way. Self weaning could be whats happening but its very unusual for babies under a year old to suddenly stop, they are more likely to gradually self wean and its much more common in babies over a year old. It does sound as if he has realised that he can be fed in other ways which are easier for him, clever boy. As you are still feeding his brother, your supply won't disappear which is obviously a good thing. You can try suction retraining exercises where you put a clean finger in his mouth, nail down and gradually turn it over as you withdraw it from his mouth, this will help him remember to put his tongue down when he feeds. All the advice I read said to devote some time to just feeding your baby, a day or two if possible, so just take the two of them to bed with some books and toys and snacks (and chocolate for you). Try to spend as much time as possible topless, the idea is to just 'offer' your breast and not force the issue. The advice I read seemed a bit contradictory about whether to feed or not, I think that some of it was aimed at new babies who are only taking milk and nothing else, and some at older babies. Babies need energy to be able to suck so he needs to eat and drink but I think you should try your best to avoid satisfying his need to suck with anything other than boob, could you give him milk with a spoon or a sippy cup rather than a bottle or a dummy? Try offering your breast when he is sleepy and he might just forget that he has 'stopped' feeding and start again. Try his favourite feedingposition if he has one. You can also try co bathing, in theory this is like going back to the womb for babies. Have the bathroom softly lit, play gentle music and keep it warm. Get in the bath with him and have DH pour warm water over you both. None of the stuff I read was aimed at twins but I imagine if you are trying to recreate the whole birth experience for him, you need his brother there too, maybe try both ways and see what happens? For a lot of babies this is enough to stimulate the reflex to latch on to the breast that they had at birth and will get them feeding again. This is where most of this comes from, its obviously not an FZ endorsed link http://www.kellymom.com/bf/concerns/baby/back-to-breast.html For me, DD only stopped feeding for 24 hours and I think because I was out at work all day and she was distracted by other things, she forgot that she didn't want to breastfeed and just latched back on again. I also think that I kind of 'tricked' her into feeding, she likes playing with toggles on my cardy and I happened to be wearing it when she started feeding again, she was trying to put one in her mouth and my nipple was right next to it so she got a gobful of that! Does he have a toy he likes to chew/suck? Maybe you could hold that next to your nipple and when he is reaching out with his mouth open to put it in his mouth, you could pop your boob in instead? Hope all this is helpful and he is soon back to normal. Of course if thats not how things pan out, he has had 8 months of booby juice, he has had a great start in life. You need to give yourself a huge pat on the back for doing so well with not just one but two babies and to keep going whilst he has been poorly and you have been back and forth to the hospital. I totally understand how much you want to carry on but don't forget to feel proud of what you have achieved so far. X





bubble

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Tuesday, January 12th 2010, 10:34am

H Indie, how are things now?

I can't add anything to what MrsJ has in terms of encouraging hm back on the boob but insofar as dropping feeds go at about eight months I was usuall only doing 3 feeds a day - occasionally 4. I dropped the mid afternoon one first as that one was easier to replace with some kind of food. I then dropped the mid morning one (which was actually easier than I thought as she was having two feeds plus a solid breakfast in the space of about 2.5hrs!). For the last couple of months (maybe a touch longer) we're just having a feed on waking and just before bedtime (although she shows signs of wanting to drop the morning one too :sadface: )

There isn't a set time on when to drop the feeds, just go with what you want and their cues. I choose to drop the afternoon one because we were generally out and about and she was getting very distracted when feeding and exposing me to all and sundry and I dropped the morning one when I was confident that she could get to sleep for her morning nap without it (that nap is important to me, it's my only chance to get showered :snigger: ) I just wondered whether Sqeak just isn't that hungry at the times he's being offered it?


I'm SO impressed that you're still feeding them both - I use you as an example to 'real life' friends!

x

ttc since July 06. 8 cycles of clomid. BFP on cycle 5 (Dec 07) ended in m/c at 9.5 weeks. Second BFP on cycle 8 (May 08)




Indiechick

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Tuesday, January 12th 2010, 11:09am

Bubble - 'REAL LIFE FRIENDS' . . . . What are they??? :snigger:

Thanks Ladies, I must admit I'm finding a bit emotional. Mrs J I had a tear or two reading your post, thank you so much for your support, it seems ironic that it was only the other day I was posting to the other twin mummies to be about not want to stop.

I have ofered him my boob a couple of times today and he won't even look in my direction and then he gets all angry and pulls this funny little face, makes a screeching war cry and then bears his teeth at me like a dog!?!?!

I think I will try the bath idea tonight. Staying in bed with the two of them for the day is probably impossible because Pip is a beast who constantly needs to be active but as you say at least with him feeding my supply won't dry up and so I could give it a go at the weekend when DH is home.

I'm struggling to weigh up what I think about the situation, I'll try to explain but bear with me, my mind is confused: I guess I'm torn a little about independance. I have always tried to follow thier lead and allow them to be independant to a certain extent and to allow them to guide me eg: Baby Led Weaning etc. on one hand I feel that he is giving me a clear message that he has moved on and doesn't need/want to do it anymore but on the other hand I need him to do it. Getting him to do something just cos I need him to goes against my parenting choices for example I would never get a carrot stick and make him eat it if he prefered a banana but I would encourage him and praise him for making the choice.

Ohhhh I don't know, I think I'm feeling way too emotional to make a sensible decision! For now though I think I will go with the idea of EBM in a sippy cup and then he is at least not replacing a teat for a tit!

x


3rd IUI - 08/08/08 - tested 22/08/08 BFP :D
Scan 09/09/08 - 2 [zx076] [zx076] TWINS!
2 beautiful boys born 16/04/09

mrs_smiff

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Tuesday, January 12th 2010, 4:52pm

Hey hun, first of all soooo sorry I haven't been in touch! Life is soo hectic! But you know that already don't you! Sorry to hear little fella has been poorly. I feel like I have neglected you all. Really must meet up soon!



I feel for you with the breast feeding thing. Although Lochlan is still eager to breast feed I am not sure I am doing it for the best any more. I have a feeling that what tiny amount of dairy I eat may be effecting him. I cried my eyes out this morning at the thought of not being able to feed him any more. Soooo upsetting, so I do understand your worries.



Is it possible that he is teething? Lochlan would bite down on my nipple and pull his head away (whilst still with my nipople between his sharp, sharp fangs!) while he was cutting his top teeth. For a couple of weeks he was really difficult to feed and never seemed to want to do it for long either. The last couple of weeks he's been really difficult again and as his nappies have been really foul I thought that maybe it's what I am eating upsetting him. So yesterday I gave him soya formula all day to see if it made things any better. He slept better last night and was happy this morning, and even slept twice today (which is unheard of usually). SO of course I came to the conclusion that he needs formula and not booberie juice. But then, I notice tooth number 5 has popped through. I didn't even consider that he might be teething. I feel like such an amateur! So maybe in a couple of weeks you'll see another tooth emerge and he'll go back to feeding from the best bar in the world. Hope he does hun.



Take care, love to you all from me and him! xx
Me 35,DH 36 (Severe Oligospermia.).
4th ICSI :BFP:
I have 4 lovely big kids
Thomas Derren (Thom) July 1990
Luke Benjamin August 1993
Harley John Oliver June 1997
Alexandria Aimee Jay (Alex) July 1998
Lochlan Cassius James April 2009 (4th attempt at ICSI)



Indiechick

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Tuesday, January 12th 2010, 7:19pm

LOL Mrs Smiff you make me laugh! Was saying to Mummy Sammysue that we defo need to get our heads together for a catch up very very soon!

You could be right as he has been drooling today, he has four teeth already and so I guess I'm just lucky that Pip is more than happy to feed and so at least my milk supply will keep going. I never thought I would be so emotionally attached to breastfeeding, it's so weird. I feel all kind of rejected and as if he doesn't need me anymore which is ridiculous he's 9 months old of course he needs me!!!

I tried the bath this evening and no luck, in fact anytime I have tried today he's acted as if I'm torturing him but tomorrow is another day . . . .

Big hugs to you and The Loch Ness monster! x


3rd IUI - 08/08/08 - tested 22/08/08 BFP :D
Scan 09/09/08 - 2 [zx076] [zx076] TWINS!
2 beautiful boys born 16/04/09

mrs_smiff

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Wednesday, January 13th 2010, 3:27pm

Oh believe me breastfeeding is a hugely emotional thing. I think I am starting the grieving process for it now. I know that I need to move lamb chop onto bottles because I really do think it would be better for him. He is getting sick again cos I can't keep my hands off of dairy stuff any more! I sneak little bits in all the time and whilst he can cope with me having a one off, he can't cope with me doing it all the time and my will power is diminishing. I feel bad though. I will never be able to do it again, he is my last bambino :bawl:

You might find that little fella starts to ask for boob again by himself when he sees his bro tucking in. He may go off it for a while, then get back into it.Some babaies do naturally grow out of wanting it, and I think us mums want to do it for far longer than the babies actually do. Lochlan would love it if I would sit all day with him attached to my bosom. In fact, my boobs are so saggy I could carry him in a back pack and just sling my boob over my shoulder to him!

I hope things settle for you chick, and Sammy is right, we need to get our act together andmeet up before our boys go off to university! We should find somewhere where we can let the little monsters loose cos I'd love to see them all playing together!
Me 35,DH 36 (Severe Oligospermia.).
4th ICSI :BFP:
I have 4 lovely big kids
Thomas Derren (Thom) July 1990
Luke Benjamin August 1993
Harley John Oliver June 1997
Alexandria Aimee Jay (Alex) July 1998
Lochlan Cassius James April 2009 (4th attempt at ICSI)



Indiechick

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Wednesday, January 13th 2010, 4:16pm

LOL, making me smile again Mrs Smiff! I really feel for you having to adjust your diet. It must be so hard. Like you I know that in my heart of hearts this are my only babies (I don't think I'm strong enough to do it all again) and so I'll never breastfeed again after Pip stops but at some stage I guess I need to just deal with it, they can't carry on forever!

No joy today either, I really feel this is it for him now :bawl: . I've tried putting my finger in his mouth like Mrs Jasper suggested and he just bites me and thinks it's great fun!

Bubble - don't think it's a case of him not being hungry cos he won't even feed first thing in the morning.

He is a very fiesty little chap who wants to do everything himself, he won't even let me hand him anything or help him with things he likes to work it out himself. But like you say Mrs Smiff, it's still an option to him and so who knows maybe he'll want to in a few days???


3rd IUI - 08/08/08 - tested 22/08/08 BFP :D
Scan 09/09/08 - 2 [zx076] [zx076] TWINS!
2 beautiful boys born 16/04/09

Indiechick

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Thursday, January 14th 2010, 10:02pm

Still no joy :bawl: he's more than happy with his sippy cup and now he won't even turn his face towards my boob . . . . looks like my little squeaker is all grown'd up :sadface:


3rd IUI - 08/08/08 - tested 22/08/08 BFP :D
Scan 09/09/08 - 2 [zx076] [zx076] TWINS!
2 beautiful boys born 16/04/09

bubble

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Thursday, January 14th 2010, 10:05pm

Oh no :sadface: I was thinking about you and him earlier when baby bubble was messing around with her evening feed.

ttc since July 06. 8 cycles of clomid. BFP on cycle 5 (Dec 07) ended in m/c at 9.5 weeks. Second BFP on cycle 8 (May 08)




mrsjasper

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Saturday, January 16th 2010, 4:26pm

Oh no, its very sad.





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