FertilityZone

Hi Jen,
I haven't got any personal experience with this. I just wanted to say that in my experience, working in a nursery talking to lots of parents going back to work, the feelings you have having are quite normal. But you have to remember that you have that added stress of moving, and away from the area which is a big step.
Although I cannot offer any practical advice I wanted to stop by to offer support. I think if you feel able to, talk to someone who you feel that you can, whether it's family or friends.
Love
Laura
xx

Hi Jen,

I understand how you feel, I am the same (not moving house but going back to work) think I am going back the middle of March, 3 days a week. We went to look at a nursery on Friday. It was very nice, a lot of staff, we even left Isobel with a member of staff while we had a wander orund and she was great, didn't miss me at all. I think she will be fine, it's me I'm worried about! It's perfectly normal to feel this way though. To be honest for me personally, I think it will do me good to have a balance of work and home and for lo to mix with other children. It will be hard but like all things we will soon get used to it and hardly remeber what is was like before! Then it will be time for school!

Hope it all works out for you. xx

Quoted

Originally posted by picklesmum
Hi Jen,
I think it will do me good to have a balance of work and home and for lo to mix with other children. It will be hard but like all things we will soon get used to it and hardly remeber what is was like before! Then it will be time for school!

You're absolutely spot on there Picklesmum.

I felt exactly the same when I had to go back to work three days a week. I worried for months beforehand and would wake up in the night fretting about leaving her. I chose a childminder because I was afraid she would be overlooked in a larger nursery.

When it came to it, leaving her was hard but the day wasn't as bad as I though (and went by very quickly). What surprised me was that she'd had a lovely day without me. What surprised me more was that after a few weeks, she was climbing the walls at the childminders house and I found a lovely private nursery where she had more children to play with, more toys and more stimulus. She absolutely loved it and thrived so much that I felt I was doing her a favour going to work

Hi

I went back 4 days a week in April and dreaded it but my childminder is a star, has 2 other children (older than G) and he is absolutely fine, I go to pick him up to find him sitting in the middle of the floor holding court, its lovely to watch and hes great with other kids. Im not the most confident of people and find baby groups hard so this was the only chance he got to socialise for a while. Im sure Lydia will be fine, G was, I was the one sitting outside crying!! Try a couple of half days (Am then pm) first if you can, I found it helped (me anyway) as I could get to him if I needed to and it meant he had a trial first.

Good luck hun. xxx

Morning!

Going back to work can be emotional. I've done it twice now and surprised myself how much easier it was the 2nd time! I think that's because I knew it would be ok.

It will be ok for you and Lydia too - its just a period of adjustment that's a shock to start with. Picklesmum and Bells are right though that actually, although its hard to start with it won't be long til you are seeing the benefits for you and Lydia.

I know at the moment you're worrying about issues like below...........

Quoted

Originally posted by jen84288
She'll need one feed there which will be a challenge for whoever does it. She's a fidget and often wont take a feed off anyone but me!! So i really feel i need to get her used to other people. wish me luck for friday

However, this is one of the great things about nursery - if she's like my two, she'll soon just get in the swing of things and take the feed from whoever is doing it - partly because she'll see all the other children doing it and copy them and also because if she's hungry or thirsty she'll just do it otherwise she'll stay hungry/thirsty.

Try not to worry too much - it'll be ok, for both of you.

x

Actually this thread is helping me too! I was thinking a childminder for the reasons Bells said above but then I read on and saw that she changed to a nursery and I think I do prefer a nursery. It's just change isn't it? Not many people like it, I don't! But like anything else, if you do it enough it becomes the norm.

Sorry for the late reply!

Just wanted to add, as has been said, that how you are feeling, is absolutely normal!.....I know that it may not help you now, in the anticipation of returning to work, but this bit is worse than when you actually get back to work.....once those first couple of days are out the way, it does get easier!

Just as becoming a Mum was a huge adjustment, returning to work, and juggling that with being a Mum, is another adjustment, and one that can take a bit of time and getting used to. I remember going back to work, and feeling all over the place about leaving H, and feeling I was a very different person to the one that had gone on maternity leave a year before, and I'm being honest in saying that it took me a bit of time to get my confidence in being a working Mum, and all it entails, both at home and at work....But!....H absolutely loves his day with his Grandparents, and I feel benefits hugely from being with them, and having the lovely relationship he does with them, and from the day he has with Dh (well dh and L, when I return to work this time round!).

I also found, to my great surprise, that I actually enjoyed my days at work, and being 'Laura'. And we settled down to a routine, and I really mean it when I say, it all went so much better than I thought it would!....and that exerience has made me feel so much more relaxed about the thought of returning to work next year (though again I won't pretend there won't be challenges, but I know we will get there!).

Good luck with everything xxx

I am back 2/3 days a week and I enjoy my time away from the kids. But when we are together, it's fun all the way.

i guess all round everyone is happy.

Am glad all went well with leaving Lydia, that's a big positive to come out of it.

I'm with you, £60 is £60, and every penny counts!...I'm not sure if it's the sort of thing you'd be looking for/if you're thinking you'd change your job, and don't know if it fits in with your DP's hours/job etc, but would an evening/weekend job be any good? I know some Mum's go for this sort of job, as their partner is around to look after the children, so no childcare costs, which may also mean you can work less hours, to bring in the money you need (though this also needs to be weighed against the wage they are offering, to see if it's a feasible option). Jobs such as retail/supermarkets/pubs, care assistants in nursing homes are a few jobs which would offer those sort of hours (I'm not sure what/if any of that appeals, but just a few ideas of the top of my head!).

There are issues such as if you'd need to travel to the job, and getting home late at night possibly, which may pose a problem, do you drive/have access to a car? Some people use taxis, a regular reliable firm that they get to know, to get home from late night jobs, but this is a cost that would have to be factored in to your wage, and how much you would be bringing in, after this expense.
A weekend day job, could public transport be an option, if not too far from you?

These sort of working arrangements may mean you and DP see less of each other, as you work 'opposite' each other, but it can really help, if it is somethng that may work for you, in respect to childcare costs etc.

xxx

Every child is so different Jen.
At my nursery some children are exactly as you have described L, but then other children react very differently.
Remember there is no normal. You know her better than anyone and you will know if she is happy or not.
All it means is, like you have said, is that she is content. It doesn;t mean she isn't happy to see you. You are her mum and nothing will change that.
xx

Hi Jen,

Good luck for Thursday. I go back 6th April. Think I am going back 3 days although would love to do 2! Isobel is just doing the 1 day at nursery then my Mum is having her 1 day and DH's Dad the other day. It's good that Lydia is liking nursery, there's such a variety of activities for them and I think its really good for them to mix with other children their age. I'm sure it will all be fine. xxx

Good luck hun

Im all teary just thinking about returning to work but unless DH finds a job soon(he just been laid off) i will have o choice. I was all set to not return before he got made redundant. Hope it all goes well

Glad it went well.
Makes me feel better you saying you liked it better than you thought as right now the idea making me feel sick