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  • "SCOTTIE" started this thread

Posts: 2,174

Reg: Jan 17th 2009

Location: ENGLAND

Children: 1 STEPSON 15 YEARS OLD & ONE DD 3 as a result of 1st ICSI :)

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Wednesday, September 15th 2010, 1:03pm

Returning to work very soon :(

Hi all

I am due to restart work in 4 weeks & i am becoming a bit overwhelmed at the mix of emotions i am having as my return gets closer.....

I am SAD because i will be seperated from my DD up to 13 hours some days :sadface: when we have only been apart 3 hours MAX till now.
I am ANXIOUS about returning to work after 14 months away from it, how will i fit back in? etc etc.....
I am ANGRY that i even have to go back to work & FRUSTRATED that our financial situation isnt better so i could be a stay at home mum.
I am ANNOYED at my work as thay had verbally agreed to allow me to go back on nights but now cant accomodate me resulting in me having to return earlier than i had planned.

What is wrong with me? Am i being irrational?

Loads of mums return to work way before there LO has even turned ONE & have to rely on nurseries/childminders etc whereas my DD will be with her daddy. They also have to work full time to make ends meet & i will only be doing part time meaning i will only be away from DD 1 & a half days a week. But i cant help it i am DREADING it!!!!!!

How things have changed..... i used to enjoy my career/work but now i would give it up tommorow......if i could that is?!
SCOTTIE
1st ICSI 09 - DD born :girl_blum:
Jan 12 FET - :BFN::-(
Our journey has ended...forever grateful for our miracle [zx160]

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Reg: Apr 5th 2009

Location: Leeds

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Wednesday, September 15th 2010, 7:16pm

You are not being irrational Scottie, its totally understandable that you feel like this and yes millions of women go back to work full time but that doesnt cancel out your feelings. Its a wrench, i'm starting to get a bit stressed about returning to work myself and i'm not going back until after xmas. The only thing I can say is that its supposed to get easier once you're back in the swing of things and you will probably enjoy getting part of your independence back xxx
Cheryl
1st ICSI blessed with Aiden Reece Parkin born 01.01.10

Bells

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Wednesday, September 15th 2010, 7:34pm

I lay awake in bed for months before my my return to work after having DD1. I used to get myself upset and cry then wake up all puffy faced so I looked a wreck. I couldn't face a big faceless nursery so my friend looked after her in her own home, much like a childminder would.

All I can say is that once that first day was out of the way it became SO much easier for me. I got home and DD was just the same as she was when I'd left her. She hadn't spent the day pining for me, she had coped perfectly well without me. Someone else 'could' apparently look after her rather well and she was happy. After a few months my childminder couldn't look after her any more and I stressed again about her 'having' to go to nursery. Sure enough, a couple of weeks into nursery and she was making little friends, having fun, making things and was really very happy again.

Meanwhile, work became easier, a routine developed and it was never ever as bad as all of those nights I'd cried myself to sleep in bed.





    Turkey

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Wednesday, September 15th 2010, 9:36pm

Scottie, your not alone. I am dreading going back too, I feel exactly the same as you do.
Also to make things worse, my boss has been told she needs to save £250,000 ASAP,so there are going to be folk getting redeployed,there is a big meeting about it at end of October. Also i've just found out that my dept has changed to operating only 8-4pm rather than 8-8pm,well i ain't working 8-4pm Monday to Friday, I work 2 long and 1 short days a week just now and want to carry on doing so until beginning of April then cut my hours(want to get full annual leave entitlement before going part time)
I only know about this because my DH works in same building and has told me bits & pieces! I keep worrying about it, obviously i hate the job and hate the thought of having to go back but needs must,i just hope on the other hand i do have a job to go back to if that makes sense!!


It's a nightmare, i know people who don't work,make no effort to work and live of benefits and are better off than other who work full time, it's not fair. The couple over the road from us have 6 kids, none of them work,they take taxis eveywhere,are out at the weekends etc grrr it really really annoys me, why can't one of them at least get a job.





  • "SCOTTIE" started this thread

Posts: 2,174

Reg: Jan 17th 2009

Location: ENGLAND

Children: 1 STEPSON 15 YEARS OLD & ONE DD 3 as a result of 1st ICSI :)

Thanks: 11 / 0

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Thursday, September 16th 2010, 9:19am

Thanks ladies for all your replies :happy:

I know you are right & once i am back it wont seem so bad.

As you said Bells yeah i am sure B will be absolutely fine with her daddy just like your DD was with your friend. I mean who better to have her other than me of course lol! Plus i think it will be good for him to have her to see it aint always easy & for her to have some 1 on 1 time with daddy :) It seems to be a bit unusual for dads to have there kids when mum goes to work? I have spoken about it at the childrens centre & the mums are like really, mine wouldnt do that?!? But i wouldnt have it any other way. DH has said cant you go back more hours & put her into childcare sometimes but i have dug my heels in & said NO WAY! Money will be tight for about 18 months till our big consolidation loan payments finish but i feel really strongly about this & want us a couple to care for B till she is old enough for pre school. Dont get me wrong if we had family nearby it would be different but we dont :sadface: Plus we attend the childrens centre 2 sessions a week so its not as if she doesnt mix with other kids plus we meet up regularly with other friends who have kids as well. So the way i see it this way she gets the best of both worlds.

B2B i am sorry to hear about your work worries as well :sadface: as if it aint stressful enough eh? :rolleyes:

Cheryl you are right i am kind of looking forward to having some independence again & exclusive adult company/conversation. Enjoy your time at home honey, it will be over b4 you know it x
SCOTTIE
1st ICSI 09 - DD born :girl_blum:
Jan 12 FET - :BFN::-(
Our journey has ended...forever grateful for our miracle [zx160]

This post has been edited 1 times, last edit by "SCOTTIE" (Sep 16th 2010, 9:22am)


Pootle

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Sunday, September 19th 2010, 12:01am

Oh Scottie lovely - its so so so normal to feel like you're feeling. But Bells is right - it is does get better and it is ok to do what you're doing. I think its harder on the Mums than the babies probably.

If I could I'd stop working immediately - I'd love to do more with DD2, I'd love to take DD1 to school every day and pick her up from school so that I could hear all about what she's been up to rather than my Mum, I'd like to say yes when DD1 asks me if I could be like some of the other Mums who help out in class and I'd really like to shake the worry that I'm not giving 100% to work or the girls. That's on a poor old me day.

On a good day - when I've had a hot cup of tea, a wee without a nearly 2 year old sat on my lap, haven't been collared by the teacher to bake yet another cake for yet another occassion, haven't had to drag the nearly 2 year old out of the 5 year old's classroom in the morning whilst explaining that she can't go to school yet etc etc I'm not so worried about working 3 days a week!

Its all about compromise I think. In all honestly I think my life would be easier if I didn't work - the mad juggling and organising would be less I suspect but would life be 'better' for the girls if I didn't work? Not sure. They're happy, confident girls who enjoy spending time with their grandparents and friends and if I didn't work and I didn't earn the money I do, then my DH and I would be in a difficult situation as I work to help meet bills etc, not for holidays to the Bahamas so in that respect its good for them as it keeps a roof over their heads and food on the table etc.

That's a longer response than I meant to write! The best advice I can give is go easy on yourself. Be prepared to be upset when you go back to work, be aware that you aren't going to be able to do exactly what you want to do but remember that its ok to be a working Mum, that there's lots of us around and the main thing - that she's ok. She's absolutely fine and you're going to have a lot of fun together in all the times you're not at work.

x

  • "SCOTTIE" started this thread

Posts: 2,174

Reg: Jan 17th 2009

Location: ENGLAND

Children: 1 STEPSON 15 YEARS OLD & ONE DD 3 as a result of 1st ICSI :)

Thanks: 11 / 0

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Wednesday, September 22nd 2010, 8:40am

MORE STRESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok as if this returning to work thing wasnt bad enough?!?

I called my ward (i am a nurse) the other day to get my off duty to firstly discover my manager had me still on AL?????????????????? Muck up on her part as i have used all my accumulated mat leave AL before i go back so a msg was left for her to sort it. Called this am & she had done my off duty which was great but had put me on all the wrong shifts!!!!! You see she has agreed to allow me to work round DH as she can no longer accomodate me on nights so i will be working every weekend but my off duty had me on during the week aaaaaarrrrrrrrggggghhhhh :scream: !!!!!!!!! Thankfully she is on today & assures me she will sort it! My only fear is it will muck up my colleagues shift as the off duty is already done which makes me feel bad :sadface Even though this is ALL her fault i am still feeling bloody guilty?!?

HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SCOTTIE
1st ICSI 09 - DD born :girl_blum:
Jan 12 FET - :BFN::-(
Our journey has ended...forever grateful for our miracle [zx160]

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