FertilityZone

I lay awake in bed for months before my my return to work after having DD1. I used to get myself upset and cry then wake up all puffy faced so I looked a wreck. I couldn't face a big faceless nursery so my friend looked after her in her own home, much like a childminder would.

All I can say is that once that first day was out of the way it became SO much easier for me. I got home and DD was just the same as she was when I'd left her. She hadn't spent the day pining for me, she had coped perfectly well without me. Someone else 'could' apparently look after her rather well and she was happy. After a few months my childminder couldn't look after her any more and I stressed again about her 'having' to go to nursery. Sure enough, a couple of weeks into nursery and she was making little friends, having fun, making things and was really very happy again.

Meanwhile, work became easier, a routine developed and it was never ever as bad as all of those nights I'd cried myself to sleep in bed.

Scottie, your not alone. I am dreading going back too, I feel exactly the same as you do.
Also to make things worse, my boss has been told she needs to save £250,000 ASAP,so there are going to be folk getting redeployed,there is a big meeting about it at end of October. Also i've just found out that my dept has changed to operating only 8-4pm rather than 8-8pm,well i ain't working 8-4pm Monday to Friday, I work 2 long and 1 short days a week just now and want to carry on doing so until beginning of April then cut my hours(want to get full annual leave entitlement before going part time)
I only know about this because my DH works in same building and has told me bits & pieces! I keep worrying about it, obviously i hate the job and hate the thought of having to go back but needs must,i just hope on the other hand i do have a job to go back to if that makes sense!!


It's a nightmare, i know people who don't work,make no effort to work and live of benefits and are better off than other who work full time, it's not fair. The couple over the road from us have 6 kids, none of them work,they take taxis eveywhere,are out at the weekends etc grrr it really really annoys me, why can't one of them at least get a job.

Oh Scottie lovely - its so so so normal to feel like you're feeling. But Bells is right - it is does get better and it is ok to do what you're doing. I think its harder on the Mums than the babies probably.

If I could I'd stop working immediately - I'd love to do more with DD2, I'd love to take DD1 to school every day and pick her up from school so that I could hear all about what she's been up to rather than my Mum, I'd like to say yes when DD1 asks me if I could be like some of the other Mums who help out in class and I'd really like to shake the worry that I'm not giving 100% to work or the girls. That's on a poor old me day.

On a good day - when I've had a hot cup of tea, a wee without a nearly 2 year old sat on my lap, haven't been collared by the teacher to bake yet another cake for yet another occassion, haven't had to drag the nearly 2 year old out of the 5 year old's classroom in the morning whilst explaining that she can't go to school yet etc etc I'm not so worried about working 3 days a week!

Its all about compromise I think. In all honestly I think my life would be easier if I didn't work - the mad juggling and organising would be less I suspect but would life be 'better' for the girls if I didn't work? Not sure. They're happy, confident girls who enjoy spending time with their grandparents and friends and if I didn't work and I didn't earn the money I do, then my DH and I would be in a difficult situation as I work to help meet bills etc, not for holidays to the Bahamas so in that respect its good for them as it keeps a roof over their heads and food on the table etc.

That's a longer response than I meant to write! The best advice I can give is go easy on yourself. Be prepared to be upset when you go back to work, be aware that you aren't going to be able to do exactly what you want to do but remember that its ok to be a working Mum, that there's lots of us around and the main thing - that she's ok. She's absolutely fine and you're going to have a lot of fun together in all the times you're not at work.

x