FertilityZone

Hi Gilly,
I’m afraid I don’t have any advice but I’m in a similar boat and hoped you'd find comfort in knowing you’re not alone! Charlie has not had a normal bowl movement since he’s been on solids. He’s dry apart from the odd accident but will not do his poos on the potty or toilet & I don’t know what to do, I don't want to go backwards and put him back in nappies but I don't know how to get him to start using the toilet. I had weened him off movicol as we were doing alright with diet (lots of orange juice and bioactive yogurts!) but have had to increase it again hoping that if he has effortless movements he might start using the potty, do you have success on days when DS is less constipated? At the moment it just means I’m getting the most disgusting pants too many times a day. – I was called in to preschool this morning to change him which was horrible. Before the movicol he’d have a few poo free days then a day of eeking out a tiny poo 14 times a day followed by a huge painful poo. This was easier to deal with but not great for him. He says it’s too difficult and he’s not responding to bribery the way his sister did (darn). If I find a solution I’ll let you know and will keep my eye on this post. Here’s hoping our boys sort it out soon!
xx

Oh dear! It's not easy, is it! I always found prunes were great for getting more regular, softer poos. Of course, your children have to rather like prunes.Making sure they drink plenty ( water will do) will also help stop them getting constipated. Even one episode of painful bowel movements will make them try to hold it in, which then makes it worse. I remember when my dd got constipated and wouldn't go. She would say she needed, but when she sat on the toilet, she would cry and come off again. I eventually used a very small glyceryn suppository to make it easier, and told her she had to go so that there would be room in her tummy for food going in. She went, and that was the problem solved. When she needed to go she would sit on the toilet and say " I have to get the jobbie out to make room in my tummy for my dinner" Foods that help are prunes, rhubarb, figs, oranges,cereals with bran in them, so plenty of fibre and plenty of fluids.
Once the poo becomes softer, he'll forget about it having been painful.
Hope you both get it sorted soon.

Hi Gilly

Unfortunately I dont have any children ....yet but i do work wit young children and this is very common and very frustrating for the child and parent. I have found this to happen to the children if they have had or do suffer with constipation, the child will just remeber the pain they had the last time they had a poo and will most definately try to hold it in as they can be extremely scared to use the toilet, this then becomes a habbit and like fi's mum says the best thing to do is to try and help softn the poo's and with any luck your DS will eventually learn that passing a poo os not always painful. orange juice, prunes etc lots of water really does help to soften poo's. Unfortunately through my experiences this all takes time and it is best to try not to make not sitting on the toilet a big issue as this can also prevent children from wanting to use toilet due to the amount of pressure they will be under. it is difficult but sometimes it is best not to push them into using the toilet as can end up in the child regressing altogether, it is so difficult and frustrating. also I have discovered that putting childen back in to nappies really confuses them, and you might find that they will take longer to then get back out of nappies, consistency really does pay off and lots of time, although it does just mean that you might have some amount of soiled clothes to wash. I really hope that you get on ok and that DS eventually uses the toilet x x x

Hi Gilly,

Since writing I've had a mild breakthrough in understanding in that I now see that what I've seen as constipation has really been more witholding. Each time I saw him look like straining to get a poo out he was really doing his best to keep it in. Like Nic mentions I think this is more a habit with Charlie and although his poos are now soft from the movicol he still holds on to them out of habit as much as fear: I bought this book from Amazon which has helped me understand this and how to deal with it

constipation, withholding and your child by Anthony Cohn

Basically the solution is said to be, if diet changes fail, to increase the laxitive to a concentration where it is working well - ie the poo is so slippery that they can't hold onto it, and they have a daily movement, and then to stick with that concentration for a considerable length of time (could be a year or more) so that he gradually stops clenching when he feels a poo coming- which is now almost a reflex action and has, in Charlies case at least, little to do with consious fear avoidance.

This is all great in theory, I need to talk to my doctor I guess, I'll let you know how we get on! Another amazon book I bought for Charlie is ' it hurts when I poop' a story for children who are scared to use the potty by Howrd J Bennett MD. Charlie seems to like it!