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  • "Debi1" started this thread
  • Algeria

Posts: 273

Reg: Jun 21st 2008

Location: Leeds

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Sunday, September 18th 2011, 8:40pm

Struggling with being back at work

I've been back to work a week now and hated every second of it. I've gone back four days, as unfortunately finances dictate that I have no choice and DS is in nursery. I cried my eyes out most of the week and found it very very hard dropping him off. I think the worst thing is the length of time in the day (he's there from 8 til 5 each day) - it just feels too long. I think if I could do three days, it would feel like a better balance. We probably could just about manage financially if I did three days, but my employer won't hear of it (I had to fight to get the four days). I'm looking around for other work, but am a customer service manager and similar part time jobs don't seem to exist. We have no family who can help out either.

I think its the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I miss him so much and although everyone tells me it will get better in time, it just doesn't feel like that now. We went through so much to get this little man and handing him over to other people to look after just feels so wrong. His first week was a bit tough for him to as he is teething and really struggled to settle. Not only that, I've always had problems getting him to nap during the day and its only in the last few months that he now naps well in the dark, in his cot with his music on. Well, I didn't think of this at the time, but the cots at nursery are in the same room and there's absolutely no way he will sleep. He's come home having had about 20 minutes all day and gets so cranky and upset if he doesn't sleep. By the time I pick him up he is totally beside himself cos he's just soo tired.

Anyway, I'm hoping someone will tell me I'm just being daft and that we will both be absolutely fine??????

Debi x
Deb x

Posts: 3,176

Reg: Jun 10th 2009

Location: Dubai

Children: Two perfect 3yr olds

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Sunday, September 18th 2011, 9:06pm

Debi, it is horrendous. I stupidly went back to work after 3+ months and have found it horrendous since, but luckily as of Monday I will be part-time. All I can say is keep looking for a job that will give you what you need if your current employer cannot give you what you want. Have you tried asking for a job share at your current job, surely someone else there is looking for part-time too?

It has taken me 7mths to get the balance and get time with babies but also work. At times I thought I would crack under the pressure, but in the end I am sure you will get what is right for you.

Be stong.

xx

Jannie
Aug 09 - IUI - BFN
; Oct 09 - ICSI - BFN; Jan 10 - ICSI cancelled;
DICSI in Valencia Mar10 :BFP:
Jannie's Diary
Oscar and Emilia born 8th November 2010

Bells

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    United Kingdom

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Monday, September 19th 2011, 11:31am

I don't think you're being daft but yes, you 'will' be absolutely fine.

It's really hard to leave your baby in nursery. It's a wrench to go from being in the quiet comfort at home to being in a bustling nursery environment but most if not all of the other children there have gone through the same transition and 99% of those children end up being absolutely fine after a few weeks.

Give yourselves some time to settle into your new routines. Sure, it would be great to find that three day job (I used to work three days when my little one was in nursery) but in the meantime don't be so hard on yourself for doing what you have to do.

I felt the same as you did. After all, my baby was not only the most precious thing in my life, she was FAR more precious than anyone else's child. Special, different, with her own needs and very attached to me.... which set her apart from every other baby... in the world. I couldn't for one minute see her fitting in with the mass eating experience or sleeping in a room full of other children (she never really mastered that but would lie quietly for nap time or be quietly entertained by the staff while the others slept). Like your son, she was tired when I picked her up but as she got older she settled in more and more. Eventually she liked it, then she couldn't wait to go in and see her friends. By the time she was leaving to go to school there were tears all around and now she's in her second year at secondary school and still remembers her nursery years with lots of fondness.

It doesn't happen overnight but it'll be alright.

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