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  • "penny71" started this thread

Posts: 1

Reg: Apr 10th 2012

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Tuesday, April 10th 2012, 10:24pm

any help etc needed, head so mixed up.

I've been on a few IVF forums but don't seem to be getting any
responses. So I hope I get some on here because I'm so mixed up with
emotions etc at the moment. I will try to tell you everything to put you
in picture. I was 40 in december. I had Ivf treatment which had to be
stopped because I wasn't responding. I also only had until my birthday
to have IVF on nhs. It was all physically and mentally ver hard. My
sister offered to donate her some of her eggs to me if we could try
again. Well now we are on the verge of maybe being able to do it, we
have been to see the consultant, been told how much etc. Then was told
we had to go to the councellor, so me and my bf went then my sister and
her husband. Now we have come to another big decision. We have been
told my sister has got to go for another blood test, for, if can
remember right is for autism and cant remember other. But she was also
told by the councellor that I'm coming up to my menopause, which they
never said to me,( i also had been told recently by a nurse and doctor
that I wasn't and was to young) also my sister was told she is also
coming up to the menopause, and she's only 35!..

The other thing is as with my other attempt at IVF we only have until my
sisters birthday in June, when she will be to old to donate! So we
have until the end of next week to decide what to do. She was also told
all about things that could go wrong, which doesn't help. Any thoughts
or ideas or anything would be great, pref positive! thanks for reading



Posts: 2,657

Reg: Sep 16th 2010

Location: Norfolk

Children: One beautiful little girl

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Tuesday, April 10th 2012, 10:53pm

Hi Penny, welcome to FZ, hope you like it on here. Why dont you check out the donor section…Board&boardID=5 hopefully there will be some helpful info in there. Good luck with your decision making and let us know how you get on xxx
Lily born 30/04/12
6 weeks early via c section




    United Kingdom

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Reg: Apr 18th 2010

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Wednesday, April 11th 2012, 6:34am

Hi and welcome

I hope you like it on here, we have very friendly and supportive members that are sure to make your TTC journey that little bit easier, I hope you feel right at home with us all soon. There is a thread here where a few of the over-40 girls hang out, pop in and say hi!

IVF & ICSI over 40 chat

Here are some links that you may find useful.

There is an abbreviations section HERE so you know what we're all going on about.

There is an IVF/ICSI section HERE with a FAQ section HERE where you will find a great introduction to IVF/ICSI.

There is a male factor section HERE there is loads of information here, plus there are others there that know what you're going through.

There is a Male Factor FAQ section HERE which give loads of information about male fertility, tests and helpful tips too.

There is a thread, Life in the lab – for all your sperm questions HERE where you can ask for advice.

There is a cycle buddies section HERE so you can get to know others having TX at the same time as you.

There is a 2WW section HERE and a 2WW CHAT thread HERE so you can compare every twinge and symptom with everyone else.

There is a clinic feedback & chat section HERE so you can look up your clinic and ask others any questions about it.

There is a ** GETTING STARTED - FZ FACTS, TIPS & HELP ** thread HERE this contains everything you need to know about getting started on FZ. We would appreciate it too if you could take a quick look over our brief terms of the site HERE so you can familiarise yourself with the one or two small rules we have, which help to keep FZ the safe and friendly site it is!

There is a ** NEW TO THE SITE? A BIT LOST? POST FOR HELP HERE!!! ** thread HERE where you can post any questions you have about how to use the site, a team member will answer you as soon as possible!

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If you have any questions about anything, just ask. :smile:

Wishing you all the luck in the world with your TTC journey

6 x IVF, 3 x FET
3 x MMC, 3 x :BFN:, 1 x failed thaw
Two gorgeous boys.

    United Kingdom

Posts: 15,284

Reg: Sep 24th 2006

Location: Up to my armpits in ironing

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Wednesday, April 11th 2012, 3:24pm

Hi and welcome

It doesn't sound like you've had the greatest advice from some people. I hope you find FZ more of a help than some of the other places you've been to.

If I can help with the forum in any way, drop me a PM or post in the ** NEW TO THE SITE? A BIT LOST? POST FOR HELP HERE!!! ** thread HERE

Also, there is a how to search thread HERE which will really help you get the maximum benefit from the forum

Fingers crossed all your dreams come true soon.




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Location: South Glos

Children: William aged 3

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Wednesday, April 11th 2012, 3:26pm

Hi honey,

I would say that these decisions are far too important to be rushed into because of external deadlines. Donor IVF is a complex and many-faceted experience and in my opinion takes on further layers of complexity when involving a family or known donor. I found it a minefield of questions and what ifs and all kinds of anxieties I needed to work through. I'm sorry if this isn't the positive response you are seeking, but I think you MUST be certain that this is absolutely the right thing to do - for you, your partner, your sister, her husband and the resulting child. This is after all about the child not about who is too old to do what - and it seems to me that if your emotions are whirling still and you have rushed into this as the quickest route to have a baby then you haven't given yourself the time to process all of the information deeply enough. My dear friend Gracie (here on this Forum) found counselling a great help in coming to terms with the donor process and she, like I - couldn't be more thrilled to be donor mummies of gorgeous children. But we took a long time to get to that point honey and I worry that you're pushing yourselves into a corner because of time. The clinic I use treats ladies up to the age of 50 - so really you have more than enough breathing space to think this through carefully. If it's the right thing to do, it will still be the right thing to do 6 months or 12 months down the line. Maybe not with your sister, but there are other ways.

I wish you luck in your journey, happiness and a beautiful baby in your arms when the time is right. blowkiss

1st IVF July 2008 BFN
2nd IVF Nov 2008 BFN
3rd DE IVF July 2009 BFP!
4th DE IVFJan 2012 BFN

5th FET April 2012 BFN

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