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  • "rianon" started this thread

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Thursday, November 29th 2012, 10:27pm

potty training - is it too early? Don't want to cause LO any harm

Hi,

My daughter is 22 month old and I started potty training a week ago as I thought she might be ready. She always told me after a poo and was very happy to have her nappy changed. So I let her wear pants and sit on the potty every half an hour to start with. She was very happy to do so and always told me "wee" the second it happenned (too late for a slow mummy though :-) She did have 2 successes in two days as well one when going out in a supermarket!! And was very happy with both.

However unfortunately she became quite ill over the weekend with fever cold and cough. So we had her mostly in nappies during the weekend. Since then she becomes quite concerned when she sees the potty and asks for a nappy. She would still sit on the potty and read books with me if asked (no wee or poo) but will try to say no first.

What I am really concerned about is that yesterday she only weed two times and I found her mouth very dry too. Suprisingly both of those two went into the potty however it was not a happy occasion. Second time she cried the last 10 minutes on the home and once home she cried and had a wee on the potty. Today was even worse with one wee so far while napping in the afternoon. It definitely shows she has bladder control but I don't want to do her any harm.

Is it normal she can go so long without toilet?

Is she trying to eat and drink less deliberately to produce less urine? Or is it just the after - effect of her cold?

Shall I stop here or is it even worse putting her through this misery for nothing? (I still remember the times hse hated her nappy but learned to love it especially as I let her become more and more involved)

She still gets quite excited if anyone else has a wee (myself, a friend the teddy bear the doll etc) just not excited for herself any more.

Please help I am really worried!

Thanks a lot,
Rianon

This post has been edited 1 times, last edit by "rianon" (Nov 29th 2012, 10:29pm)


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Friday, November 30th 2012, 11:31am

Hi,

I haven't gone down this road yet so don't have any experience. My dd is 23 months and I have been thinking about potty training for ages as she is showing all the signs but haven't started yet.

22 months is very young for potty training and maybe she is not emotionally ready yet. It should be a happy, positive experience for her and if she is getting upset then thats not good. Maybe start again in a couple of months when she is ready to like the potty again.

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Friday, November 30th 2012, 12:22pm

My ds did this very early to he potty trained at 18 months( his choice I say as he took of his nappy and said no more mummy) it was a hard 2 weeks he had a bit of a wobble after about a week 2 and we the introduced a wee wee dance and an instant reward system he had a thing for cars so he got one every day he was dry.
Poos were a bit harder but we gave in and let him watch tv( it was always very clear when it was happening) we would see the face and he would sit own the potty we did at this point change potty as he seemed more comfortable on the chair type potty he would watch his tv and it was done we did this for about 3 months and then moved the potty to the bathroom.
oh and after 2 dry days we had a potty party!! He loved this and seemed to encourage him further.
By the age of 2 he has been dry day and night.
I have potty trained several children as I was a nanny before ds and I found the more chilled I was the better it was for the child. If you can not relax around it than your child won't relax either. Well that what I found.
Hope this helps.



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Friday, November 30th 2012, 1:46pm

hi,

I can only think that the cold has knocked her bk a little & to just relax. if she dont want to wee on potty, its no big deal.
just leave the potty hanging around in the living room where its visible & dont stress lol. if she feels comfy in nappies for now, thats fine. just leave the potty where its visible.

my boys pretty much,trained themselves although potty was visible from when they were about 8 month old onwards. I always let them come to the loo with me & I try to make them more aware of the potty when its nearing the summer months.

all of them trained pretty early, and they did it themselves. they did get wncouragement & praise, when I could see they were more hit than miss, but again its all done at their instigation not mine.

anyhow good luck with the journey

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Friday, November 30th 2012, 3:36pm

Hey

My DD is just two and I'm not even thinking about this, mostly because I also have a seven week old and can't cope with trying to potty train as well.

I've decided just to leave it for Freya to tell me when she's ready. She understands the theory and tells me when she's wee'd and poo'd so I know she will get it quite easily when the time is right. She sometimes sits on her potty and pretends and loves her 'Princess Polly's Potty' story book.

I do sometimes think it's one of those things that becomes a bit of a competition between parents, frankly I don't care if she's two and a half or even a bit older before we go for it, it doesn't matter so I'm not worrying.

xxxxx






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Friday, November 30th 2012, 6:34pm

Hiya,

I've not started potty training yet, just got a potty and some pants and stuff and she sees it and sits on it but won't wee in it!! In fact she wee'd in the potty at Nanna's but as soon as she did she wanted a nappy back on and didn't like it!!

My LO is 33 months and I just don't see the point in rushing them or making them worried about it or anything. Every child is different and it could be that the cold has knocked her back a bit. Maybe gave her a bit of a funny tummy. If she's got a dry mouth and stuff I would try get some more fluids into her.

I think if it was me I would forget it for a week or so, leave the potty around so she can see it but let her decide. At the end of the day there isn't any rush really. They all do it in their own time.






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  • "rianon" started this thread

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Saturday, December 1st 2012, 10:01am

Hi,

Thanks for all the replies it was very helpful and reassuring to read :-) It seems to me this is another thing where we have to follow our children and not the other way round :-) Funny though that although I heard it before that girls are usually getting it sooner on this thread it was little boys who got it quick. Well, they are all individuals at the end of the day :-)

Natural Horse: yes I agree potty training (and whole life in itself) should better be a positive experience :)

Redwillow: you might be right I thought I was chilled but maybe I wasn't. My daughter is a very good emotional detector she can feel my slightest uncertainty. It is really cool you were a nanny must help loads in parenting. Are you still a nanny as well or a full time mum now? I have only met a nanny once so far in playgroups and thought wow she is a really good, patient mum. Until I learnt she was actually a nanny :-)

thejadematthews: Thanks I was not sure that if I do put her back into nappies whether I have to keep her in for a couple of months not to confuse her or whether a shorter time is enough. Or maybe just wait until she asks to get it off. She also loves coming to the loo with me especially in playgroups she rather comes than to stay with a friend - and she always has the opportunity to wash her hands with me afterwards :)

Gracie: funny you said that so true parents tend to make competitions of a lot of things but luckily my mummy friends are not like that. They are just happy to see my daughter happy and will never comment on how I am parenting her. It must be great having a two year old and a newborn I hope to be in your situation soon :-)

Flic: You are right no rush I have a really good little firend who potty trained around 4 year old and did it in a day! So I suppose they all get there by school hehe. So your advice is to leave it for the week as well.

Well on the potty font in our house my hussband asked me that we try for another week and as it is weekend and he is a lot more chilled than I am I agreed. And suprise-suprise there was a puddle on the floor soon :-) Never was I happier to clean things up. We brought the wet clothes to the washing machine with my daughter, let her use the toilet paper and she was really happy and proud to put her new pants on. Only downside is that I just went out of her room when it happened and I went back to her crying. Are other children sad when they wee in their pants? Does it mean she would prefer to do it in the potty just didn't get there?

So my plan of action for the week:
1) Stay chilled :-) We only go to playgroups and noone minds about little accidents. No visiting friends though :-)
2) Note down her timings. Hope she stopped the holding in now. Her lips look a lot better as well. (She loves her cup luckily)
3) Offer her some potty time but not too often as she seriously HATES nagging. Anny advice on that? What if I do it an hour after every meal? And if nothing than I just wait for an "accident"?


What do you think ladies? And thanks again for the lovely, caring and reassuring advice.
Have a good weekend,
Rianon xx

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Saturday, December 1st 2012, 10:23am

Sounds a plan to me
The thing my son liked was we had a timer at the beginning it was set to go off every 20 mins this gradually increased each time by 5 mins till we got to an hour he used to see how fast he could get to the potty when it went off. I think because it acted as a reminder but it did not come from me after a day I did not say anything he would hear the alarm and go to the potty himself.



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Saturday, December 1st 2012, 11:17am

Oh lovely idea Redwillow - thanks! Especially as she loves picking my mobile up for me so this might work :-) What happened after the alarm went off? Did you say oh it is potty time and you both went to the potty you helped him undress a bit and he sat down? How long did he sit on it? What did you say if he did not have a wee just said ok time to get up and play some more? Or was there another alarm to stand up? Did you actually race to the potty? That bit sounds real fun!

And I have another question please: my daughter goes to nursery for one short day on Mondays 9-3. Do I tell nursery that she is potty training or do I keep quiet? She only goes to nursery till the end of December when I will become a real full time mum.


xx Rianon

This post has been edited 1 times, last edit by "rianon" (Dec 1st 2012, 11:20am)


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Saturday, December 1st 2012, 11:21am

Oh and how did you do it when you were out? Did the alarm just go off at the playgroup?

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Saturday, December 1st 2012, 11:41am

Yes every where we went the alarm went off.
The other thing that was great was a pottette a foldable potty it was a lifesaver ds used it on the bus when we travelled we even used it on the plane!



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Sunday, December 2nd 2012, 2:20pm

Hiya Bub hope you and the fam are well.

I dont think your too early. A mum knows her child and I say try whenever you feel ready. The worst that can happen is you may end up putting it off for a while and restart it in a bit. The best thing that can happen is you have an early clean baba.

Good luck Chic

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Sunday, December 2nd 2012, 10:16pm

Hello rianon,

Just saw this tread. Don't think you are trying to get your dd potty trained to early. I have 2yr old twins and Emilia decided it was nappies no more when she was about 21mths, Oscar however has not really made an attempt yet, though for the last week has had had 3 dry days so I think he is starting to follow his sister. It does however, prove that all children are different and will all get there in their own time.

At home, when emilia first started potty training, we often had her wear longer tops but no pants, which meant she could quickly get to the potty without worrying about pants or needing me or DH there to help her. Now she is fully clothed, but we did pants first then trousers. We had a couple of bad weeks and she also slipped back a bit when she started nursery, but within 2 weeks she had the confidence to ask the nursery staff. I suspect the cold is the thing that has set your DD back a little bit. Children love routine and anything out of the ordinary (illness, new people, etc) have a big effect on them.

I hardly ask Emilia if she needs the potty, only when we are leaving to go out. I did not want to put her under pressure. Plus if she had an accident I gave her lots of cuddles because she did get upset.

All in all, I can't wait to see the back of nappies and changing tables. But happy to support Oscar for as long as he needs, but it is obvious that he wants to be like his sister, so hopefully within a month we will be a nappy free home.

Good luck with you DD, she will go at her own pace, just be supportive, patient and give her lots of praise.

X

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Tuesday, December 4th 2012, 11:20pm

Thanks Taxi and Jannie for more replies and trust in my maternal instinct :-) However I am far from perfect and it would not be the first time I made a mistake. But most importantly although there was practically no wee in the potty we are having very happy days. Her lips are back to normal and there is no more holding back. So must have been the cold. Lately DD prefers to use the loo and I had to beg her to let me use it as well ;-) She also has a favourite potty book and always tells me exactly at the time when something is happening. Recording her times brings back the early days when I was going mad by trying to record her feeding times ;-)

Taxi: thanks we could not be happier than now all is fine second little one on the way. This pregnancy is even better then last one as there is no pressure to do IVF soon again :-) How are you?
Jannie: Good luck for going completely nappy free must be very helpful for Oscar to see an example. Your children are so funny with their completely different but absolutely charming and complementing personalities.

Have a lovely week everyone will update more
xx Rianon

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Friday, December 14th 2012, 10:20pm

update

Hi girls,thanks again for all the lovely replies well my latest update is that... DD is back to nappies :-)

I am glad we tried it though as it reassures me I wasn't just lazy not helping her get rid of the nappy - she still needs it. Since going back to nappies though she did a wee in the potty in the morning 3 days in a row with DH lol. Potty is still around and dolly, teddybear everyone gets a chance to sit on it but dolly also wears a nappy now :-) Upon DD's request. She still keeps saying whenever I go to toilet (which is quite often these days) that "DD has a wee" and when we do start the actual potty training I will know her timings very well as she tells me the instant she has a wee and requests her nappy to be changed.

Still loving the alarm Redwillow and will be using it when the time really comes.

Natural Horse I read in another thread you are also just starting good luck and hope I didn't put you off. I suspect our LO-s have very different personalities lol. Even though it didn't work this time it was not a bad experience at all: we just learnt a bit more about each other and having lovely days together.

xxx Rianon

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