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sasha146

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Thursday, April 4th 2013, 10:12pm

sleeping methods

Hi girls

I need some advice, help, support, my ds used to be a good sleeper at night, from about 12 weeks he slept through the night until maybe 6 months but since then i'm slowly, no actually make that quickly going mad, most nights he goes to bed fine but then wakes again anywhere between 10pm -12pm, we have noticed he's not fully awake at this time and normally putting his dummy in sends him straight back to sleep so this is just about bearable and If he can find his own dummy he puts it back in himself but he wakes again at some point during the night there's no set time and most of the time he's up for an hour and a half, I had started a bad habit of taking him in with me as I was so tired but im going back to work in about 6 weeks and really want to try and sort this problem, he's teething and hadn't been well last week so i'm sue that adds to it, also he wasn't good at napping but he will sleep in a bed for two hours so i'm assuming this isn't going to help.

So after my ramble i'm looking to see if anyone has had the same problem and how you resolved it? Does the cry it out method work? And if so what is the best way to do it? My ds gets in a right state and I feel it takes longer to get him back to sleep.

I'm going on holiday on Sunday so our routine is going to be out so when we come back I figure that's the best time to start.

Any advice is appreciated

x
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Thursday, April 4th 2013, 10:37pm

Sasha we had exactly the same problem a while back when DS was poorly, it totally knocked him out his routine and he would wake every hr during the night, like you I gave in for a while and he slept in with us but knew we was getting into so a bad habit and I'm sure he just kept doing it because he knew I would bring him in our bed!!!
So one day I just decided to start doing the CC, it took a couple of days but he finally got the hang of it (so did I ;)) now he's back to sleeping 11-12hrs a night :)
Good luck. It will get easier xx
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sasha146

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Thursday, April 4th 2013, 10:48pm

thanks cheenab, can you tell me how you went about the cc, I tried going in every 5 min, should I start with less than that and build up or start at 5 and build from there and what's the max time you should leave them?

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Friday, April 5th 2013, 8:29am

My youngest did exactly the same Sasha. I kept finding reasons why she was waking, teething, poorly etc... In the end I decided she was just taking the p***! I did controlled crying, not everyone likes the idea but it worked for us as she was a lot happier when she was having a full nights sleep. I waited until knew she wasn't poorly and then put her to bed as normal. When she woke, I'd go in and check she was ok and cuddle her until she settled but without speaking to her then put her back down and leave the room. She would then start crying again so I'd wait 5 mins before going in again, using my watch to check the time because it feels like hours! Then go back in and cuddle until quiet again. Next time I'd leave it 7 minutes, then 10, then 12.... The longest I was prepared to leave her was 40 minutes but it never got that far. The first night, I remember I spent an hour doing it, a bit less the next night and then by the 4 tonight, she was sleeping through.

Now of course, I miss those little night time cuddles but she gets in in the morning now and shoves her teddy in my face for a kiss!

There's a website called cry-sis with a section on this which is very useful. I'll try and find the link for you. Cry-Sis - Sleepless baby - How to cope here we are.

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Friday, April 19th 2013, 12:02pm

Help!

Hi

I was going to start a new thread but this one looked very similar to my situation. My DS is 21 months old and for the past 3 weeks has been very unsettled at night. He use to sleep through most of the time so it has been a real shock to the system.

I just wanted to ask about the different methods people have used and how long it took to work.

My son goes to bed anytime between 6:30 and 7pm and goes to sleep fine as he still has a bedtime bottle. However, anytime from 4 - 7 hours later he wakes and is standing up in his cot crying and reaching out for me. I pick him up, cuddle him until he is settled and put him back in his cot. Sometimes he goes back fine but only to wake an hour or two later and we do the same again, and again, and again! Or sometimes he refuses to go back to sleep in his cot and just stands up instantly and cries. I have tried to rule out what I think it might be - teething pain (gave him Calpol), hunger (gave him another bottle), full nappy (changed him) but this doesn't make him fall back to sleep and sleep through until morning, he wakes again an hour or so later.

At one point I was bringing him into my bed and it worked for a short time but then he just became fidgety and wasn't going back to sleep straight away plus I didn't want to make it a habit so this week we decided not to bring him in our bed but his sleep is still unsettled. Last night was quite bad in that he woke at 11:30pm, I cuddled him, put him back, he woke again at 12:20am so we did nappy, capol and bottle but he wouldn't go back to sleep and just wanted holding. It's like he is scared to be in his cot. Oh and I have tried a night light but that hasn't helped him sleep better, if anything I think he has woken more with it on. He does have a teddy but he isn't particularly attached to one teddy, he prefers footballs, so not really best for comforting him during the night as he will just want to play. Anyway, come 2am he was still refusing to lie in his cot - we did let him cry but it was 10 minutes max as I just couldn't bear listening to him upset and then we decided to try him in bed with me and DH went in the spare room and DS slept fine until 6:30am. I really don't want to get into the habit of him sleeping with me every night plus I am 20 weeks pregnant so can't get as comfy as I normally can and having him sleep diagnolly across my bed with his feet in my back isn't great LOL!

We plan to convert his cot to a bed next week in the hope that he may prefer that but it could also mean he gets out of bed! We do have a gate on his room so he can't escape. I actually wouldn't mind if he got up and started playing as long as he didn't cry and wake me up LOL! Does that sound bad?

I am just so tired and moreso being pregnant. DH helps as much as he can but DS does seem to prefer me for settling him.

How long do you leave them to cry for MAX with CC? Mrsjasper - your idea sounds good, extending the time each time. How long did this go on for before she finally slept through? Just 4 nights? It's about teaching them to self soothe isn't it, which I think DS has stopped doing and I do wonder if he too is taking the pee! Will check out that link.

I do find it hard listening to him cry. It isn't a distressed cry but he is upset and it's hard to ignore. I know I am not helping matters though by giving in every time. I was wondering if his back molars were on the way but normally when he has been teething the longest he has been unsettled is 4 nights - not 3 weeks! Plus surely the Calpol would help?!

I am hoping it is just a phase that won't last much longer. The problem is we go abroad for a week in a fortnight and will all be sharing a room so he may like that idea and go back to wanting us in the night when we're back at home!! :headache

Has anyone tried any other methods which have worked? I tried a bit of pick up put down but how long do you hold them for before you put them back down? Just until they stop crying?

Sasha - how is yours sleeping now and what did you try?

Any advice would be very much welcome! Thank you x
An almost 4 year old son and a 21 month old daughter :)

sasha146

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Friday, April 19th 2013, 7:43pm

hi buzzbee

I really feel for you if i'm honest looking back I prob went through months of this, yes there were a few reasons, colds, tummy bugs, constipation and bloody teething oh and I few bad habits I had started just to get some sleep.

Well I went on holiday a week past on Sun and something very weird has happened, the fri before we went ds slept through the night, I actually kept checking on him I couldn't believe it, then we had to leave at 4am on the sun morning to get to the airport, at 3.45am my ds my ds was still sleeping after me and dh banging about, going for showers etc.

I didn't hold out much hope for the holiday as like you the cot was in our room and the two beds are pushed together so not idea for taking ds into bed with me, however my ds really surprised me and slept through every night and even went for naps in the cot which is unheard of (he sleeps in a bed to have a nap) so when we got home again I though the change in time etc would set us back he has slept through every night since we have been home, and his two front teeth came in on mon so I swear teething was the main prob.

My friend got a book written by supernanny, when her ds would cry she would go into the room, no talking, no eye contact, no picking up, she would sit by his bed with her head down but so her ds could see her and would hold his hand until he settled.

There was also a programme on a couple of weeks ago about night time routines sorry cant remember the name of it, my mum watched part of it think she said one dad was lying on the floor and over time gradually moved closer to the door, maybe not idea when your expecting lol.

Hope you find something that works, I will no doubt be back on looking for more tips

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Saturday, April 20th 2013, 7:41am

Thanks Sasha. So did you not need to try CC then? Oh I so hope the holiday makes him sleep better. I am thinking that with the heat and the days acticities he should be shattered come bed time and be in need of a long good nights sleep.

Last night he slept better - but only because I brought him in my bed. When we put him to bed he started crying, which he doesn't normally do at bedtime. We had made our tea so I said to DH let's just ignore him and have our tea (we muted the monitor but we do have a video monitor so I was able to see him standing in his cot). After 10 minutes DH went up and cuddled him and he soon fell asleep and went in his cot fine. He then slept until 12:20am when he woke crying and standing up so rather than faff about with a nappy change and bottle I just brought him straight into my bed where he slept until 5:50am, which is really good for him. DH was already in the spare room as we made the decision if he woke we would let him come in with me.

We've decided that we will try CC but not until after the holiday because I would hate to spend a week of doing it for it only to be messed up by the holiday so I will definitely do it when we get back. That link that Mrsjaser was interesting, especially about giving them a drink in the night as they could see it as a reward. I don't think he is hungry when he wakes up, I do think it's now just habit and because of me he is so use to me going in and settling him so he has forgotten how to self soothe.

That's a good idea in the supernanny book. When we change his cot to a bed next week it will be so much easier to sit next to him and stroke him as the cot bars won't get in the way. When you have to stand up and lean over he expects you to pick him up so if we can sit down next to his bed and just stroke him I think that would be better. I would be happy to do that if it wasn't for ages and he didn't cry as soon as we left. We'll have to see.

Fingers crossed my son does what your DS does after the holiday! We have an early flight too, 8am, so need to leave the house at c5am. I am hoping he will want a nap when we get on the plane xfingers

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Saturday, April 20th 2013, 7:52am

Hi Buzzbee!
I was going to start a thread as well about getting Harry to bed - but it has been a bit better the last few nights. I think it all comes down to teething TBH. Glad that Nathan was better last night. I think it's the right thing to leave it til after your hol now. I keep putting things off til after our house move now. The issue with no bars on the cotbed is that they stand up and try to get out etc. But you just have to keep putting them back. How about giving Nathan a slightly later bedtime? I've done that - only by about 15-20mins some nights 30) just to ensure that I'm not in the bedroom for him as long waiting for him to fall asleep. Also what about his day naps? I've decided that Harry does need to nap but I try not to let him nap more than 40mins now which I think is working better - he often wakes himself after 30mins these days anyway. So I'm just trying a few things - including letting him walk when we go out so he tires himself (hard work when the other 1 is in a pushcahir as it's really hard to push with 1 hand and Harry wants to hold my other hand!). Anyway I hope you manage to get a bit more sleep as you must be so worn out with your pregnancy xx

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Monday, April 22nd 2013, 9:28am

Hi Rocky

Glad Harry is sleeping a bit better.

You may be right about making his bedtime a bit later as last night, despite being awake for 6 hours (long for him) he was crying when we put him to bed and even his bottle didn't help him nod off. It's mad. He will nod off in my arms but as soon as I get up to put him in his cot his eyes ping open and he screams. Do you think he is scared of being in his cot? The thing is he will nap OK in it during the day and it's not like the room is much darker at bedtime. We've just been bringing him into our bed when he wakes in the middle of the night and he has been sleeping in longer than 5:30am, which has been very much needed.

Changing his bed on Wednesday so will see how that goes! I am hoping that by him being in a bed means I can sit next to the bed while he nods off whereas when he is in his cot I can't get to him through the bars and now my bump is getting bigger it's hard to lean over, plus it doesn't do anything for my back LOL!

The thing is we need to get him use to a toddler bed before the LO arrives anyway and we were originally going to change it in June or July but I'm sure a month or so earlier won't matter. I know it means he can climb out of bed but I'm sure he'll learn eventually or he may even surprise us and prefer his bed and happily climb in it. I've ordered him some new bedding with footballs on (his fave) and got him a football rug and cushion :)

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Monday, April 22nd 2013, 1:52pm

Hi all

Buzzbee, we have a similar problem!

Our DS has only ever slept in his cot all night with no attention from us 4 times in all his two years. There have been times when he has woken at 5 and I've then brought him in with us to get a bit of extra kip (he'll usually sleep until 7 when he's with us). But a lot of the time we end up bringing him in much earlier than that, to save ourselves being disturbed on and off through the night. In desperation, after saying we never would, we let him cry it out a few times but this did not help. The most effective thing we find is the 'pick up, put down' method, but every time something happens to knock his sleep out we have to go through all of that again, retraining him.

And like Buzzbee we want this to be much easier by the time #2 arrives. Three in a bed is just about tolerable but four in a bed could be very tricky indeed!

I have no advice for anyone else as I'm stumped myself but will follow the thread with interest - and sympathy!

Bee
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Monday, April 22nd 2013, 1:55pm

PS I laughed at your DS taking footballs to bed. At one point ours was going to bed cuddling four brio trains and a big red bus! It was so rattly and lumpy I did not understand how he could sleep with them, but it seemed to comfort him, so we let him. Now it's his igglepiggle, his (empty) milk cup and a blanket.
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Monday, April 22nd 2013, 8:06pm

Hi BeeS

Well tonight despite him nodding off on his bedtime bottle, which I give to him in a chair in his room with the lights dim (always have and it's always worked no problem), as soon as I got up to put him in his cot he screamed. It's like he has a phobia of being put in his cot. I picked him up and cuddled him again thinking he was back asleep but nope, as soon as I get up to put him in his cot he cries again. It is wearing me down now. I then let him stand in his cot and sat on the floor next to him trying to reassure him but he just got more and more worked up by me not picking him up. I then told him I loved him and left the room with the intention of leaving him crying but DH said he would go in and try. He didn't pick him up, he sat next to the cot and DS eventually sat down and then fell asleep sat up until he rested his head at the foot end of the cot so he is currenly on top of his duvet. I daren't go in yet to tuck him in for fear of him waking up! It's ridiculous. I know we are probably not helping matters by cuddling him and picking him up but it pulls your heart out hearing him cry, and it's a proper cry.

How did you do pick up put down? I would try and lie him down but straight away is fighting to stand back up. Do you pick DS up and then put him down or do you try and lie him down from standing?

I know I am not being consistent though and need to see it through but with a holiday just over a week away I just don't want to waste a week doing it for it then to be disturbed by the holiday so I am definitely going to do something about it when we get back.

When we bring DS in our bed, one of us goes in the spare room, usually DH. There is no way we'd be comfortable with 3 in our king size bed and especially now my bump is growing and I can only get comfortable on my side.

I really feel for you Bee when you said DS has only slept through 4 times in his cot. I should count myself lucky as DS has more often than not been a very good sleeper so this has been a real shock to the system. It's only been going on 3 weeks but feels like a lifetime.

Is your DS in a toddler bed or a cot still? Here's hoping we get them to sleep better when our LOs arrive. I have a feeling DH will be in DS's room and I will be in my room with the baby, anything for sleep!

xx
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sasha146

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Tuesday, April 23rd 2013, 8:48am

Hi girls

Buzzbee - how are you getting on? I tried cc once for half an hour then my dh gave in, my ds is a real sober and I hate it, never say never I suppose but can't see it working for him. Sounds like the sitting in the room might work for your ds, could your dh do night times to save you doing it.

Hi Bee - how do you do the pick up put down?

Well after nearly 2 weeks of sleeping through my ds has a cold, he seems to pick everything up

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Tuesday, April 23rd 2013, 7:55pm

Sooooo tonight we tried a different tactic at bedtime. Knowing he was likely to scream when I carried him to his cot after he nodded off on the bottle I put him in his cot where he instantly screamed and stood up and I sat in a deck chair next to his cot and didn't pick him up or try to lie him back down. I just sshhed him and reassured him that I was there (sat in the dark) and within 3 minutes he stopped crying, stood silently for a few more minutes, then sat down and was clearly very tired as he had fell asleep on the bottle, his head kept dropping until finally, after about 40 minutes from the start of his bottle he lay down and gave in to sleep! It was a lot let stressful than letting him cry on and off and going in every few minutes to reassure him, for both him and us.

I know it's probably not the best solution but it was a lot calmer than previous evenings when we have let him cry. Tomorrow is d day - when we change his cot to a bed!! I do wonder if it's the bars of the cot surrounding him that he doesn't like. He recently moved up to the bigger room at nursery and when they nap there they go down at a set time in a room with low beds in and maybe he has got use to having a more open bed :mmmmmm He naps fine at nursery and they said he is usually the first to go to sleep - probably because he has been awake from c5:30am so shattered come 12pm.

If he cries when he goes into his bed tomorrow we will do what we did tonight, sit next to him in a chair (I got a cheap fold up deck chair off Ebay) and sit there being quiet but so he knows we're there. The only problem is if he tries to climb out and wants to be held but at least by being in a more open bed means I can touch him easier than through the bars of a cot.

God knows what we'll do though when he wakes around midnight and when we normally bring him into our bed. DH said he would sit in his room until he fell back to sleep but then he could wake again an hour later and I don't fancy doing that every hour during the night. He has been sleeping better in our bed and for the sake of sleep I can understand why lots of parents bring them into their bed, if it means more sleep. Last night he came into bed with me about 1am and when my alarm went off at 5:40am for work he was still asleep so I got DH out of the spare room and told him to get in our bed with him and I went downstairs and got ready whilst watching Broadchurch! They got up about 6:30am, which is good for DS as he was waking at c4am for a spell, which was so draining.

So, we'll see what tomorrow night brings. I do wonder what it is that has triggered this disturbed sleep pattern and why he seems so scared to be left in his cot. He can say lots of words but as of yet can't string any sentences together so it's not like I can ask him yet. Hopefully it will get easier when he is talking properly and we can reason with him better - i.e. go to sleep and you will get a reward! :snigger:

Sasha - has the cold affected his sleep then?

xx
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Wednesday, April 24th 2013, 2:53pm

Hi all

Ooh buzzbee, very interested to hear how you get on with the bed tonight! And well done with trying something new last night. I know what you mean about it being easier to just sit it out in LO's room rather than trying to operate as normal in the house with lots of screaming going on! It's just heartbreaking to hear that and I can never leave it for long before dashing in to offer some reassurance. (DH thinks that's my downfall; I just think we have a bad sleeper!)

Our little one settled much better at bedtime last night but still woke at 1am and came in with us. In many ways I do love having a little teddy bear, BUT...

'Pick up put down' is a Baby Whisperer method, I think. We don't have the book but heard of it through friends. But actually when I googled it just now I think we're doing it slightly differently! Do look it up if you are interested but the way we do it is:

If he cries, either after we have left the room at bedtime or in the middle of the night, we judge whether it's a sleepy, going-back-to-sleep cry (rare in our case!) or a wail for help. If it's proper wailing one of us goes in and picks him up, saying nothing, not even ssssh, and holds him close in a lying down position, until he is calm and his breathing is calm and even. We then put him down into his favourite position (on tummy, knees tucked in) and stroke his head just for a very short time to settle him. And then we leave the room.

The whole visit is only very short. Amazingly it often works, either first time or after two or three little visits. I think offering comfort but with no stimulation (i.e. no talking) might be what makes it effective.

The only books I've ever bought about child-rearing are the 'No-Cry Sleep Solution' and its sequel for toddlers and preschoolers. They offer lots of examples of methods for settling little ones without letting them cry it out. So if crying it out doesn't work for you, either because LO is just too stubborn or you can't take it (I qualify in both categories!) then I really recommend those books.

Wishing you all lots of lovely sleep

Bee xx
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Buzzbee

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Wednesday, April 24th 2013, 8:23pm

Hi Bee

Well tonight went much better, as in it took less time for him to settle in his bed and go to sleep. I gave him his bedtime bottle next to his bed in the chair, he didn't fall asleep on it but was clearly tired. I decided to try and chance it lying him in his bed (rather than waiting for him to fall asleep in my arms) but he started crying instantly and trying to stand up. I picked him back up and cuddled him in the chair for about 5 minutes and decided to try again, this time not picking him back up but ensuring he couldn't climb out (we have put a Lindam bed guard on the side that is open) by kneeling at the side of the bed - much easier now it's a bed and not got high bars - and I just put my arms around him while he stood up. He soon stopped crying and rested his head on my shoulders and then within a minute or 2 he decided he wanted to sit down. He then spotted one of his teddies (Postman Spider from The Hive!) and picked him up and smiled then instantly lay down cuddling it. I stroked his back and sshhhed him for a short while and then stopped stroking and sshhhing, waited another 2 minutes before deciding it was OK to leave and sneaked out - and it worked! In total it took no more than 30 minutes from giving him his bottle to me leaving the room.

So better than previous nights. The key was ensuring he couldn't climb out of the bed so I blocked him but was reassuring him that it was fine and cuddled him. Thankfully that worked. God knows what I'll do though if he becomes more stubborn and screaming to get out.

I do think he will wake around midnight and cry and I'm hoping he doesn't forget he is no longer in a cot and when he stands up topples out of the bed! whoops3 As I said there is a bed guard there and it's not a big drop if he does as the bed is very low. Not sure whether to try and make him stay in his bed or just bring him into ours as the latter would be easier in terms of getting more sleep. I think I may wait until he gets use to the bed and remembers he has a different bed, plus get our holiday out of the way, before trying to ensure he stays in his room and trying CC or even pick up put down.

I had the Baby Whisperer book - it was fab! Taught me a lot. I have heard about PUPD but was never sure how it worked. So when you lie your DS down in his fave position does he not try and get back up straight away crying? That is what my DS is doing if he isn't asleep, or even when he is half asleep he wakes up and cries. What would you do if he did instantly get back up, would you cuddle him again, or would you keep trying to lie him down?

I have the BW book for toddlers but have yet to read it. Think I may now to see if she talks about sleep issues!

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Wednesday, April 24th 2013, 8:58pm

hiya

By the sounds of things we have all had slightly better nights, my ds slept until after 8am this morning, totally unheard of, I was awake from 6am wondering why he wasn't up lol

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Thursday, April 25th 2013, 7:54pm

DS went to bed with no tears tonight - woohoo!! He was half asleep from his bedtime bottle and I chanced putting him in his cot soon after he burped and he didn't fight it, just let me lay him down and tuck him in - result!!

The next test is if he will sleep all night in there. Last night he woke, as I expected, at 12:15am and I just brought him straight in with me where he fell back to sleep without fuss. Definitely after our holiday I will try and stop bringing him into our bed but I am hoping he will have done it all by himself by then - one can hope LOL!

Sasha - 8am is great! I think the latest my DS has slept tll is 7:40am and that was only because he was awake for a good couple of hours in the night so was catching up. He has never gone to bed at c7pm and slept right though for 12 hours or more. I guess they don't need that long do they? No doubt when he is a teenager I will be shouting him to get out of bed LOL!

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Wednesday, May 1st 2013, 11:51am

Buzzbee, you and DS are doing so well!! Hope he keeps it up!

Like you, we are resorting to bringing our lad in with us whenever he wakes after our own bedtime. It's stretched to 3/4-ish a few times but last night was 12:30 again. Ah well. I am sure it will settle evenutally...

I had the Baby Whisperer book - it was fab! Taught me a lot. I have heard about PUPD but was never sure how it worked. So when you lie your DS down in his fave position does he not try and get back up straight away crying? That is what my DS is doing if he isn't asleep, or even when he is half asleep he wakes up and cries. What would you do if he did instantly get back up, would you cuddle him again, or would you keep trying to lie him down?


Weirdly, after the PUPD, our LO does just lie down in his fave position. He usually asks for his head to be stroked, which we do for a minute or so, before slipping quietly out. Sometimes he's already asleep by then and sometimes he's almost gone and drifts off by himself with little or no complaining. But then other times (last night it happened 4 times!) he leaps up the minute we've left the room and wails and rattles the cot sides... In that case we give him a few mins before going back in and repeating the PUPD. There have been a few times when he has refused to lie down at all and when this has happened we've offered him one more cuddle and said "you can have one more cuddle and song then you need to lie down and go to sleep". That's usually done the trick. I think there have been a couple of horror nights where this didn't work but I can't really remember what happened - it's all a blur!!!!

We're tempted by the transition to a grown-up bed but I imagine he'll just get up and start playing or come out onto the landing (he can open our doors) and wail at the stairgate. I feel it's best to encourage him to sleep better first but then I suppose we might be waiting forever. We have a lovely famryard duvet cover waiting for him and I keep meaning to order the duvet itself but just haven't yet got around to it. Certainly it must be easier with a big bump not to have to bend over cot sides... Are you finding it much easier, would you say?

Sasha, so pleased things are improving for you too. An 8am start is blissful. Bet you wish you hadn't woken up early worrying!

Wishing everyone good nights and sweet dreams

Bee x
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Thursday, May 2nd 2013, 8:42am

Hi girls

Sadly it seems to be short lived, ds has started waking between 3-5am again, normally when I would take him in with me he would be sleeping again in a couple of minutes but the last few nights it's taken oven an hour, he hasn't been crying just making lots of noise.

I have recently had prolapse surgery while having a cyst removed so I think he can sense things aren't quite right as i'm not suppose to lift and carry him and we have another new tooth so i'm guessing this is the reason for him waking up again.

The first night he woke I asked dh to try and get him back down in his own bed, now I ment maybe try for 20-30 min, he tried for 2 min and came in and said he wouldn't settle, I almost burst out laughing, he just gives in so easy but then I got annoyed that he hadn't at least tried and now were back to bad habits.

Sorry if someone has explained this but can you go through the pick up put down method and does it work for babies or more aimed at toddlers?

Hows everyone else getting on?

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Thursday, May 2nd 2013, 8:39pm

Well it hasn't been continuous no tears at bedtime but it's not been too bad. I think one thing we have learnt is that his bedtime needs to be a bit later. He is able to stay awake for longer now, 5 - 6 hours, sometimes more, before he is really tired. Anything earlier and that is when he cries more about going to bed, obviously because he isn't quite ready. So bedtime has moved to 7 - 7:30pm and it's improved a little. On the nights he has cried we haven't had to stay in the room long before he has fell asleep. The only problem is he has to be asleep before we can leave, a light sleep is no good as he knows when I have left so he stands up and cries so it's easier to just sit there and wait. So the more tired he is at bedtime the quicker it is.

Totally the wrong thing to do I know as he isn't self soothing but we go on our jollies tomorrow so I will deal with it properly when we get back. No point forcing him to self soothe and sleep in his own room only to confuse him on holiday when he will be in our room all night.

Sasha - your DH sounds a bit like mine, he doesn't give things enough time. He also has less patience than me. I do think our LO's sense when something isn't quite right or has changed. I am wondering if me being pregnant has affected his sleep ?o( . He points to my belly and says baby but he won't fully understand yet that he is going to to get a little sister. He is going through a clingy stage at the moment too, especially with me. Maybe because he sleeps with me and I settle him in the night. DH sleeps in the spare room.

Bee - I'm glad we have changed his bed. I wanted to do it anyway before the LO arrived as I'd rather deal with the transition now and then when I have another baby as it would be more difficult to deal with I think, having to tend to two in the night. Hopefully by the time she arrives he will be happier in his bed xfingers We plan to let the baby have the cot and get him a new toddler bed that has footballs oN (his fave thing) so will buy that in August time so he has a few weeks in that bed. For now his cot has one side off so is like a bed. I have one of the Lindam guards on the side but he does climb out. When he wakes around midnight crying he climbs out and waits at his door for me - there is a stair gate on his door that is locked as well as one at the top of the stairs.

Cheers for the info on PUPD (Sasha - read Bee's earlier post on what she does). You basically go in when they cry, pick them up until they stop crying and then lie them back down, and keep repeating and eventually they get the message. I may try this before CC actually as it seems kinder.

Anyway, best go as need some sleep before our early morning flight.

I hope all our LO's are sleeping better for us soon.

xxx
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Thursday, May 2nd 2013, 9:16pm

Hi girls,

Just a quick one cause on my phone. Every child is different and different things work.

With my second cobi he has always gone in the cot awake and just gone to sleep and slept all night. Kaynan was a different matter. We used to either have to rock him to sleep or let him fall asleep on the bed then transfer him.

Just before two he used to scream and scream in his cot. We moved him to a proper bed and it stopped instantly. He had obviously out grown his cot and preferred the extra room.

Once he got in his bed he would go in awake and put himself to sleep.

I really think putting them in bed with you if you dont want it long term is counter productive although i can fully understand why you do it.

I am a great believer of kids doing things in their own time and your babies are still so young. They will get it eventually just keep up the amazing work and follow what is right for your lo

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Monday, May 13th 2013, 8:28am

Hi girls

How are you all getting on?

Things haven't been too bad this end but my ds has started waking at 5.30am the last few mornings, he's always been up early normally 6ish but 5.30 is too early for all of us, my ds is tired when he wakes so I have taken him in with me but he hasn't went back to sleep, he has really tried with no joy, any suggestions? If he has cried during the night or going to bed I have sat on the floor in the room and it seems to work for him, should I be doing that when he wakes at 5.30? He's not crying at that time though we just hear him on the baby monitor saying hiya dad lol.

Hope your all well
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Monday, May 13th 2013, 11:59am

Hello all

Sasha, sorry you're getting early mornings! There probably isn't one right answer for how to fix it, but you could try as you suggest and sitting in his room with him in case that helps. Have you tried offering some milk at that time? Sometimes when he was younger I found DS would wake earlier when he was having a growth spurt and needed a top-up. Or perhaps the brighter mornings are waking him up - do you have black-out? If nothing seems to work immediately, I hope it settles with time and it's just a little phase...

Well we made the transition to a big bed!!! DS loves it and loves being able to climb in and out and settles very easily there at bedtime. We've had three nights so far. The first two he wanted to get out and come in with us when we went to bed at about 11pm. We relented as we didn't want his new bed to be a battle ground. Then last night he slept through to 4.15am, which was a great improvement for us all, and then had another three hours in with us. If things carry on like that I think we'll all be happy, but I shalln't get too excited too soon!

Buzzbee, hope your DS settles OK post-hols!

Happy sleeps, all

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Monday, May 13th 2013, 12:59pm

Hi All

Well my LOs sleep has improved a little in that he goes to bed OK now but I do have to sit with him until he is asleep - he doesn't cry though, he just lies there looking at me while his eyes open and closing until he nods off into dreamland. On our first day abroad he slept through in the travel cot and I thought 'yes! result' but sadly it was short lived and every other night he came in with us. He did though sleep in longer - nearer 7am instead of 5:30am ish. Whatever time he went to bed didn't make him sleep in longer than this so no benefit keeping up late.

When we got back home he slept through in his bed the first night - well till about 4:30am and I brought him in with me but as it was light then and he didn't want to go back to sleep! I even tried a bottle to no avail so Sasha a bottle may work but for my DS if he has had a good stint of sleep then nothing makes him nod back off.

He is going longer now between sleeps and down to just one nap a day around 12pm for an hour or so and I definitely think this has helped the bedtime battle.

This week however we are going to tackle the bringing him into our bed when he wakes so as from tomorrow night (I am off Wednesday so won't mind the disturbed sleep) when he cries in the middle of the night DH or I will sit in the room with him until he falls asleep again. It's just whether he will want us to cuddle him or if he will stay in his bed and let us sit next to him. I am hoping the latter. Of course the big hurdle is getting him to self soothe and not need us in the room to settle back to sleep but the first thing to sort is him sleeping in his own bed all night. I fear I may have to try CC at some point to combat the self soothing.

I am dreading the next few nights, may even take weeks LOL, but we are determined to try and sort it.

One thing I have decided is, with our daughter, who is due in September, I am not going to give her a bedtime bottle which she can fall asleep on. I always did this with DS and it worked brilliantly for putting him to bed up until recently but now he clearly doesn't self soothe and isn't use to going to bed awake and falling asleep on his own, he needs one of us with him. So with our daughter I plan to give her milk a bit before bedtime and then put her in her cot awake and pray she falls asleep. DS never became attached to a cuddly toy but I am hoping our DD will as that might help her settle.

Sasha - when you sit in the room with DS when he wakes in the night how long do you sit there for? Until he is asleep?

Bee - well done on the transition to a bed. Glad to hear things have improved a little. It sounds very much like how it is for us now - he goes to bed OK but still wakes to come in with us and sometimes it can be around 4am instead of midnight. I actually prefer midnight as 4am can sometimes mean he wants to get up then. I definitely think the lighter mornings aren't helping. I have black out blinds in all upstairs rooms too but it still manages to get through enough to know it's daylight. And I have fully lined curtains!

Anyway, best go as in work and loads to do on my first day back.

Bye for now xx
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Monday, May 13th 2013, 5:07pm

Hi girls

Bee - I'm going to try a bottle tomor morning because he is still sleepy and tries to get back to sleep so I think the milk could help, I have a blackout blind but the birds give it away that it's morning.

Buzzbee - I sit until he sleeps, it has ranged from a couple of minutes to 50 minutes, he doesn't cry, in fact he quite often turns his back on me, i'm not sure how long this method will last but I much prefer it to listening to him cry and my dh is none the wiser that I have been up during the night and since I started it although ds has been up early the last few mornings he hasn't been up in the middle of the night for a few weeks (touch wood)

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Monday, May 13th 2013, 7:51pm

Thanks Sasha. I think I will try that method first then, sitting in his room when he wakes during the night and hope he falls back to sleep without fuss. Would your DS then sleep through till morning or did he wake again?

Worth a try though and like you I would prefer it to hearing him cry. It's not like I'd be able to sleep through his cries as it tears my heart out.

Hope the bottle works. Let us know how it goes. xx
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Thursday, May 16th 2013, 10:31am

Hi girls

These early morning rises are wearing me out and both mine and dh patience, this morning was 4.45am, I started to do my sitting in the room method but my ds just rolled onto his tummy held onto the bars on the cot with his face squashed up against them saying hiya then laughing, it was very cute but I gave in and took him into bed with me, I really have no idea what to do.

Buzzbee - when I have done it during the night he has slept until morning although maybe earlier than I would like

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