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  • "kizzy" started this thread

Posts: 366

Reg: Nov 14th 2005

Location: berkshire

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Tuesday, September 18th 2007, 10:04am

She cries !

poor little T, she cry's when i leave her and cry's when i come to collect her .... the nursery staff say she doesnt cry long, by the time i am out the front door she has stopped, but its breaking my heart ;( ... the look on her face when i sit her down ... the tremble in the bottom lip .... cruel cruel mummy ......

after 2 days she caught a cold .... now has a little cough and over the weekend had her first touch of nappy rash ......

Daddy says the nursery has changed her, the 3 days she goes she is grumpy when she gets home .... mummy says it coz she is tired .....
daddy digs at mummy for 'palming her off so mum can have fun at work' and 'be selfish' ...the money i earn will pay for the nursery and i might have some left over to contribute .... even if its not alot - surely its better than nothing ?

i have always worked, i like to earn my own money, even if it isnt loads, i have money to take my children out, see that they have nice clothes, good presents, karate club, ..... i could never bring myself to ask DP for money if i wanted a night out with freinds, or a new outfit or to spend 50 quid on a hair cut.

Cameron went to nursery, i admit in the first year he had every illness going, but is now never ill and he is the most social boy i know.

question is .... Am i being selfish ???

?(







  • "moomin05" is no longer a member of FZ

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Reg: Oct 3rd 2005

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Tuesday, September 18th 2007, 10:32am

RE: She cries !

Kizzy

NO you are not being a cruel mother ....... M was exactly the same when she first started nursery but she use to cry for the full 4 1/2 hours she was there for, and I did feel very guilty ..... but I had to go back to work to help keep the roof over our heads.

This continued for about 2 months, and I even contemplated changing jobs so that I could work in the evenings and not have to put her into nursery but would then miss having time with my DH

I carried on, and now she loves nursery, as soon as I pull up in the car park she is eager to get out of the car seat and go and see all her little friends, she loves all the staff and we no longer have any tears

The first few weeks were VERY hard but it has now paid off, and she loves mixing with other children, and I enjoy having my time at work (when I am not off sick)

M had loads of colds, coughs etc when she first started but now she hardly has any infact mummy gets more than she does !!!

You are not cruel mother and T will come round to loving nursery.

The one thing that stuck in my mind is what my SIL told me, is that even if they scream and scream at nursery they won't remember it, and they won't have a lasting effects from it, and it is so true

xxxx

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Tuesday, September 18th 2007, 11:32am

youre not selfish at all hun :(

she will get used to it very soon, and if she has had a cold she will be feeling a bit clingy atm anyway so it isnt the best time to judge.....give her a month and see how she is.

if you feel you are doing the right thing then you ARE! just tell daddy to shut up :D



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Bells

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Tuesday, September 18th 2007, 11:40am

No you're not selfish, yes you have a right to work, yes she's crying in the evening because she's worn out, yes it's normal to catch every single living bug on the planet when they go to nursey... builds up a cracking immune system...

The crying at drop off and pick up time is just tiny outburst, testing her luck, nothing more...

Now let T enjoy playing with her little pals, go earn your own money to spend as you please, remember that the crying is just a tiny test of resolve and tell DH to shut up!








I think that's the most concise post I've ever written!!! :D





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Tuesday, September 18th 2007, 11:40am

kizzy - your DP sounds like he needs a kick up the backside!

next time he says something like that tell him not to be a w*****r

kski

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Tuesday, September 18th 2007, 1:16pm

Er
I agree with Sunshine -

Re others stuff - Just get Dh salary paid into your account -& pay him an allowance - That should change his perspective !

Men !!!!!!!!!!!!1
DAD to twins

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Tuesday, September 18th 2007, 1:24pm

Quoted

Originally posted by kski

Re others stuff - Just get Dh salary paid into your account -& pay him an allowance - That should change his perspective !

Men !!!!!!!!!!!!


pmsl! i love that idea!!!!

clapclapclap



I'm running down the road like loose electricity, while the band in my head plays a strip tease!



  • "kizzy" started this thread

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Reg: Nov 14th 2005

Location: berkshire

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Tuesday, September 18th 2007, 3:35pm

thats a cracking idea !!!!







kski

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Tuesday, September 18th 2007, 3:53pm

Takes a bow ....
DAD to twins

  • "spangle" is no longer a member of FZ

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Tuesday, September 18th 2007, 4:13pm

No not at all! slap DP LOL

I run a nursery hun so know what little tinkers kids can be, they will cry and as soon as you are out of sight they are happy bunnys!! the only ones left feeling sad is mummy or daddy!

When collecting I bet if you snuck in and spied on her for a few minutes you will see her playing happily and she will still cry when she sets eyes on you again

yes she will pick up everthing and anything fir the first few months but just think of the stong immune system she will have! I havent had a cold or flu for years now!

And yes i agree with bells, she will be worn out by the end of the day, that much playing will wear anyone out! People forget how much hard work playing is. She will adjust to the routine though
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Tuesday, September 18th 2007, 4:22pm

NO, NO, NO!!!!!!!!!!
You are being a good and sensible mummy, who needs the "me time" and the social and financial aspects of work to continue to be a good and sensible mummy. How dare dh sit in judgement!!!!! I have to admit, mine was just the same when we changed Bella's nursery and she began to cry when we dropped her off and picked her up. She settled after about a week or so, but it is a heartbreaking time. Spangle is bob on - I spied thru the window and she was having a whale of a time before I walked in. Dh calmed down too once I made it very clear that if I didn't go to work I would go mad, and then he'd have to cope by himself. That soon made him re-evalute my position!

Zig x
Me 38, DH 44. 2002-2004 2x ICSI's, 1x egg donation. Changed clinics for own eggs ICSI/tx no.4 - BFP 27/4/05! Mummy to Isabella after early c-section 15/12/05, due to LLP. Baby No.2 (huge 'natural' surprise!) Ruby Olivia arrived 29/09/07 via emergency c-section.

Rene

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Tuesday, September 18th 2007, 9:07pm

Kizzy, Hun, you are not being selfish at all. You need to have your own income - no matter how small. As an alternative to K's idea of giving your DP an allowance out of his own salary, tell him to stay home with T and then live off a stipend that you give him out of your salary and let him see how he feels about it!
K is testing her limits with you to see if crying will get you to stay with her. It's a phase that she will get through. I can fully sympathise though as C is also crying when I leave him at creche. Only diff is he lights up when he sees me again and gets all excited and happy - unless I turn my back to him while I get his bag. Then he just clouds over and screams. I have to pick him up immediately to stem the flood of tears...


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:BFP: 22 March 2006 - Connor Born 24 November 2006 - unplanned c-section
At 3 and a half C finally gave up the boob!




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