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  • "shorty" started this thread
  • United Kingdom

Posts: 374

Reg: Jan 21st 2007

Location: Bolton

Children: Caeden 3yrs, Logan 15 months

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Monday, November 5th 2007, 3:35pm

really struggling with feedin!

Hi everyone!

Ive finally managed to get online lol i was here 3hrs ago but C started crying and its taken 2hrs to feed and settle him :rolleyes:

Hes so cute and i love him so much but my god is he a whiney baby! all he ever does is cry or feed. Its really drainin, ive not had one good night since he was born, and im really struggling with the breastfeeding, im determined not to give up but its so demanding! :sadface: Hes latching on perfectly so no problems there, up until bout a week ago he was brilliant during the day slept 3-4 hrs between feeds and was awake all night but now hes started getting really cranky in the day and night, he wont settle for longer than an hour during the day and at night he can be up and down for feeds like every 20 mins, he gets himself all worked up screaming and goes bright red like hes gonna explode! its scary. sometimes he'll feed normal n go sleep but most the time he feeds for bout 5-10 mins mins then starts fightin with me..?? gettin all frustrated cuz he seems to want it but wont close his mouth. I try putting him on the other breast and he'll take it few mins n start again, its so tiring! he's putting on weight ok, he went down to 7lb5 in first week then he went back to birth weight then upto 8lb by 2weeks. Midwife said he seems like he just a very hungry baby and said to try express and give him a bottle once a day so i know how much he's getting in that feed and it'll give me some time get bit of sleep, told me give him 3oz.. well im doing that and its just not enough, he's taking 5oz in 1 feed and stil wanting more.. do i give it him or not? he's only 3weeks.. can u over feed them? I just dunno what to do, im not too bothered about the days but nights are hard when im exhausted and he wont stop crying after ive tried everything, and when theres tears running down his face it makes me get upset and we both sit cryin for hrs! i think maybe its summat im doing wrong? im sure he isnt supposed to be so upset all the time ;(

Other than that he's perfect! hehe :D

Simone xxx
Simone - 25 - Proud Single Mummy :D
Two beautiful boys and a little lady on the way!!


This post has been edited 1 times, last edit by "shorty" (Nov 5th 2007, 3:36pm)


csam

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Monday, November 5th 2007, 3:42pm

RE: really struggling with feedin!

Big hugs Simone. :hugs:

I'm really sorry I can't offer any advice as I'm muddling on through myself. I just know someone will come along and help you soon.

Could he have colic ? I don't know much about it, and I assume your health visitor would have said. Sorry not much help.

Thinking of you

xxxxx

Missy

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Monday, November 5th 2007, 3:44pm

Hey, don't be so down, I have no advice on breastfeeding I'm afraid, Bells should be around soon, but just wanted to say I found parenting a brand new demanding baby hard work WITH an extra pair of hands to help! So I think to be coping this well and breastfeeding on your own you are coping extremely well :))

C may just be on a growth spurt and hopefully this will be temporary :)

Keep up the good work, give that little man a snuggle!! :D








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Bells

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Monday, November 5th 2007, 4:05pm

Hiya chuck!!! :wave:

First, you're doing SO great to be managing with him on your own. Having a newborn is hard enough but being alone and breastfeeding too is amazing and I'm in awe of you.

Ok, first being up during the night is ok but not every 20 minutes... there's no way that he can 'need' a feed every 20 minutes and if you weren't breastfeeding you wouldn't offer him a bottle every 20 minutes would you? It's just that you have this gut instinct now to let him suckle as it comforts him...... which is fine.... but not when you're not getting any sleep.

Have you tried swaddling him? Does he have a dummy? Is he bringing up wind? Is he in bed with you or next to you?

Last question, want me to come around this week? :))





  • "shorty" started this thread
  • United Kingdom

Posts: 374

Reg: Jan 21st 2007

Location: Bolton

Children: Caeden 3yrs, Logan 15 months

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Monday, November 5th 2007, 4:22pm

Hiya!

Ok.. yeah i swaddle him when i put him down, midwife told me not to give him a dummy if breastfeeding but i gave in last week and got him one, it does keep him quiet if were out in the pram n stuff but at home he just spits it out, he doesnt usually bring up wind but i do try after each feed and urm well he has been in a moses basket but over last week ive had him in bed wi me cuz he just wont settle at all unless im holding him, and he does sleep for ages when hes in my bed but then im stil awake cuz i wont sleep with him in bed with me.

Yeah id love you to come see us :D as much as i love my baby i am in need of adult company hehe

xxx
Simone - 25 - Proud Single Mummy :D
Two beautiful boys and a little lady on the way!!



Bells

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Monday, November 5th 2007, 4:44pm

Righto... let me see what I can sort out for this week chick ...

It may just be that he's waking up and missing the warmth and comfort of being with you. It may be a little trapped wind making his tummy feel uncomfortable or he may just be going through a period of adjustment, or a growth spurt....

I think it would be good to have a plan for night times. First thing I would do is make sure that he's fully drained one breast before you offer the other. If the first breast isn't empty then he could be getting too much foremilk which can give him a tummy ache 'and' lead to him getting hungry more quickly than he should be. Have you got some soothing music in your room that you can put on and sing along to, something that makes you feel happy? I think it's important that 'you' feel relaxed and not fraught when this happens... although I know that when you've had 4 minutes sleep and it's the eigth time you've been out of bed... it wears a bit thin doesn't it? :rolleyes:

I'm absolutely sure that this is nothing you're doing wrong.... more likely that he's a bit of a sucky whingebag and you're absolutely knackered. I know how lonely and frustrating it is to sit up with an inconsolable baby night after night but it does get easier and I know I'm not alone when I say how much admiration I have for how you cope with the things that life throws at you.





  • "shorty" started this thread
  • United Kingdom

Posts: 374

Reg: Jan 21st 2007

Location: Bolton

Children: Caeden 3yrs, Logan 15 months

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Monday, November 5th 2007, 5:00pm

Thanks hun :)

Yeah i will try listening to music, i do need to relax abit but its hard when im so tired, the 4mins sleep and eigth time i been up sounds just like a normal night for us :rolleyes: i know its not always cuz hes hungry, sometimes he'll just lie with the breast in his mouth and fall asleep but cries the min i take him off.

guess i see this as just another test life seems to keep throwing at me and i am determined to get through it no matter how little sleep im gettin! lol

Just give me a txt anyway let me know when u want to come round :)

xxx
Simone - 25 - Proud Single Mummy :D
Two beautiful boys and a little lady on the way!!



csam

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Monday, November 5th 2007, 5:27pm

You are doing so well Simone.

I'm not finding it easy and I have support. It is very lonely in the wee small hours and I think many many people would have given up by now. well done you for ploughing on.

I hope things get easier real soon and you can get some rest.

xxxxxxx

compley

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Monday, November 5th 2007, 5:28pm

Shorty, don't have much advice about bfing, as so new to it all myself!

but just want to say i think you are doing an absolutely amazing job to be coping with a new born all on your own, I really do!
i often say to dh how hard it is with 2 of us, and am in awe of people managing a newborn on their own!

I often think of you, and wander how you are getting along, sounds like you are doing a great job through some really tough times!

sending you a massive :hugs: and anytime you need a chat am around on here most days!!!

xxxx



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Rene

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Monday, November 5th 2007, 7:15pm

Hi, Simone
I have C in bed with me. Yes, still! I am a firm believer in co-sleeping (why should I get out of a warm snuggly bed to feed C in the middle of the night and then take hours to settle myslef (I don't fall asleep easily when disturbed) when I can just turn over, pop it out and into his mouth and drift off again.
It does sound as if your little man could have some colic. I had trouble with that from the time C was a week old till about 8 or 10 weeks (so long ago now) and had to walk the floorboards from 10pm till 4 am every night. I was exhausted! Try giving him a bit of gripe water or infacol or similar to help his poor tum.
You are doing well on the BF front. Keep it up, Hun!


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At 3 and a half C finally gave up the boob!

  • "shorty" started this thread
  • United Kingdom

Posts: 374

Reg: Jan 21st 2007

Location: Bolton

Children: Caeden 3yrs, Logan 15 months

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11

Wednesday, November 7th 2007, 3:49pm

Thankyou. Ive spoke to midwife and she thinks it could be colic too. im going to get some gripe water for him. Lst night wasnt too bad so hopefully it might get a little easier soon :rolleyes: i would get a full nights sleep if i let him in my bed but im scared to sleep with him so small!

Simone xxx
Simone - 25 - Proud Single Mummy :D
Two beautiful boys and a little lady on the way!!



  • "1xbaby pls" is no longer a member of FZ

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Reg: Apr 4th 2006

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Wednesday, November 7th 2007, 3:54pm

Your doin graet its stil lall new - you couldnt walk into a new job and know it all and they give you a buddy/manual/ manager - its all the lovley trial and error but you have fab help with bells and co - me i gave up after 3 weeks but then the pain emotion of having a baby/tierdness/soreness turned to guilt of not B feeding. No win situation for me
Oh its a happy lark this new mother hood - but remeber your fab yor doin fab and your bundle of joy is fab too.

Bet youll be handing out the advice before you know it

Loads of love x x x x
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Wednesday, November 7th 2007, 9:44pm

Ohhh Mrs I really feel for you. You sound exactly as i did when my baby first arrived and i had help. I am full of admiration for you and just know that you are doing a wonderful job. Learning to breastfeed can be hard enough for some people without having to cope with junior being cranky all the time too. I caved in at 6 weeks and went down the formula route for various reasons. Well done to you for keeping on going. My son literally screamed the house down day and night for 6 weeks if he was not attached to the breast. He hardly slept and was either screaming or feeding - it made for one very upset mummy and in turn this just made my lo worse. The more stressed you are the more anxious bubs will be. Do you manage to get out the house much for a nice walk or just even to meet some other mums? Its so much to deal with on your own but you are doing so so well so keep your confidence up and trust me when i say it gets better. I never managed it but i was often told that bf gets much easier between then 6-10 week mark - remember baby is learing too and getting used to the big bad world outside mummys lovely cosy tummy. We are all here to support you and I for one am sending you a massive hug and pat on the back. I wish I had your determination and perseverance - then i wouldnt be steralising and making bottles every night lol i would have my lovely boy cuddled feeding from me like i always longed for. Well done x


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Thursday, November 8th 2007, 2:40am

Quoted

sometimes he'll feed normal n go sleep but most the time he feeds for bout 5-10 mins mins then starts fightin with me..?? gettin all frustrated cuz he seems to want it but wont close his mouth. I try putting him on the other breast and he'll take it few mins n start again, its so tiring!


oh I recognise this! it is so distressing isnt it?!

ok, what I eventually worked it out to be, is..... he's tired :8o:

so, once he's fed for about 10 minutes and starts crying, put him over your shoulder to burp him and just gently rock and hold him until he calms down. then quietly try and put him to sleep in his cot/bed.

also, nighttimes need to be as dark and as quiet as you can make them .... ie lights dimmed, no radio / tv etc wherever he is.

the other thing that is easier to do the 2nd time around kid wise and is so hard with the first one is to try and remain calm when they are crying. it cannot and will not last forever, but babies love the sound of their mother's heartbeat and if yours is raised because you are upset & stressed then the baby will pick up on this and get upset & stressed, which upsets & stresses you and so the vicious circle continues. it is hard being on your own because you have no-one to temporarily take over from you, particularly at night time. for your situation I would suggest you take the baby to bed and if he struggles to sleep then you lie on the bed, and put the baby lying on your chest to calm him. you will feel more relaxed and so he will eventually as well. of course, you shouldnt do this if you are a heavy sleeper, smoke, take drugs or drink - ie you should be aware of your baby at all times. You most likely will not sleep like this but at least you will be calmer and your baby most likely will sleep and so be in a better mood.

good luck & remember you're doing a fantastic job!!!!




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