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Rivka

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Monday, December 31st 2007, 9:55am

Breastfeeding a new born and looking after a lively toddler

I've done a search first and nothing has popped up but apologies if this is covered somewhere else.

There are a few of us with imminent births coming up and at least two, including myself, for who it will mean feeding a lovely new born AND looking out for demanding little toddlers. I for one have to admit that this fills me with fear! I remember distinctly sitting on the sofa with Plum latched on for hours at a time.

Does anyone have any wise words about how to cope when your tiny wants milk and your toddler wants a cuddle / drink / throwing up in the air / pushing around on her trike / has a tantrum etc etc etc?







Chilli

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Monday, December 31st 2007, 10:19am

I have been thinking about this too, I am planning on making it a bit of a family affair, so whenever I feed I will encourage M to sit next to me with a book or her colouring.

She is convinced I have babies in my boobs at the mo so I am sure she will be very confused anyway!

I fed M on demand and wnat to do the same this time round but it might be that we have to try to have more of a structured approach ?(

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Monday, December 31st 2007, 2:08pm

I think...... that while first babies become your entire world and you devote your every minute to them, second babies have to just kinda fit in. I wouldn't worry about how you'll cope, you just 'will'..... you'll be playing with your older child, your baby will want a feed so you just do it... and carry on playing...

Once breastfeeding's a bit more established you can all sit and eat together... ok... it's one handed cold food for you ... but you're used to that by now right??? :snigger:

It's a bit like trying to juggle really until everything slots into place but second babies get used to just going with the flow IMO ... they 'have' to...

Bells... youngest of two :rolleyes:





Chilli

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Monday, December 31st 2007, 2:25pm

Quoted

Originally posted by Bells


Bells... youngest of two :rolleyes:


:bawl: me too!

I think aswell we are much more aware of the ups and downs of BF, when you have your first baby it is so new and not always easy, from knowing that you need to eat and drink extra to knowing how to not suffer sore nipples! which will be alot of time saved :rolleyes:

Rivka

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Monday, December 31st 2007, 4:51pm

Quoted

Originally posted by Chilli
to knowing how to not suffer sore nipples! which will be alot of time saved :rolleyes:


don't be so sure about that though, Bells told me she had it tougher second time round! I suspect she is trying to boost our confidence in readiness for the big event Chilli :D

I fed on demand with Plum too and was planning on doing the same this time around but as you say things may have to be slightly different. Good idea about the colouring book and stories.







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Monday, December 31st 2007, 5:10pm

Quoted

Originally posted by Rivka

Quoted

Originally posted by Chilli
to knowing how to not suffer sore nipples! which will be alot of time saved :rolleyes:


don't be so sure about that though, Bells told me she had it tougher second time round! I suspect she is trying to boost our confidence in readiness for the big event Chilli :D
.


oh the rascal! the way my nipples feel right now is not great TBH they are really sore :sadface:

Rivka

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Monday, December 31st 2007, 5:12pm

Mine too! Torisen has been telling me to tweek them to encourage labour but it hurts, what a wuss!







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Tuesday, January 1st 2008, 7:26pm

Hi Girls,

OMG carn't believe your so far on with pg no 2!!

Well I would like to think I am a bit of an expert in this field.................having 4 children (3 under 2!!)

It is harder than your first time round, but like everything you just some how adapt, I found myself doing a whole lot more than just sitting and feeding, I can bf whilst colouring/reading/doing homework/feeding a 1 year old and even hoovering!!!! As bells said no 2 just has to fit in as do your elder siblings just adapt because they see that your busy. I try and time my feeds so Freya is asleep or Connor can watch the tv etc etc but I understand it take a while to get into a routine, my life is routine lead, it has to be otherwise it would be a complete mess, but I am proud to say I can bf twins and get breakfast for all 4 kids, wash and dress them all have nappy change x3 and out of the house for 8.40 in order to get Connor to school on time (somtimes we even have time to walk) on my own.

Good luck with the birth, and happy bf you can do it.................really you can.

Karenxx













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Chilli

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Tuesday, January 1st 2008, 7:36pm

You are wonder woman :smile:

Rivka

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Tuesday, January 1st 2008, 8:16pm

She is isn't she!







KIRSTY G

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Wednesday, January 2nd 2008, 8:43am

I want to be Karen when I grow up :yes:




Chilli

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Wednesday, January 2nd 2008, 8:56am

I want Karen to move in with me!

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Wednesday, January 2nd 2008, 2:19pm

Im no wonder women, just a very lucky Mum!!!

If you want me to live with me I'm affried all 4 kids (very noisy & messy) come too!!

I think I have aged (a lot) in the past 18 months, but what the hell they are only little once soon everyone says their worse as teenagers (god help me then).

I have to admit I am really looking forward to starting back at work...........I have been on Mat leave since Jan 05 so its been a while since aldult conversation, being able to eat my lunch without any hassels and the big one.........being able to got the toilet on my own!!!!!

Only another 12 weeks to go!!


Karenxx













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Chilli

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Wednesday, January 2nd 2008, 5:06pm

Quoted

Originally posted by kaza123
and the big one.........being able to got the toilet on my own!!!!!



Karenxx


You have that problem too? I can't remember the last time I managed that or having a bath or shower, before I know it M is stripped off and jumping in with me! :rolleyes:

Rivka

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Wednesday, January 2nd 2008, 8:55pm

Boy do they love their baths / showers! Also Plum will insist on offering me bits of toilet roll to wipe my bum when I've had a wee :rolleyes: :snigger:







Chilli

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Wednesday, January 2nd 2008, 9:33pm

lmao so does M she says Weeweeeeeee in a french accent ?( and tries to "help"

mrsjasper

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Wednesday, January 2nd 2008, 9:40pm

I changed Ms bum on the floor of a toilet cubicle the otiher day whilst having a wee myself at the same time. Hows that for multi tasking! It was a very clean toilet cubicle and there was nowhere else to change her.

At home she likes to put her toothbrush down the loo!





Chilli

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Wednesday, January 2nd 2008, 9:49pm

clap clap MrsJ!

M's thing is toilet roll we go through so many, she does it then comes in looking shocked and pointing to the toilet as if to say "you'll never guess what!!??"

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Wednesday, January 2nd 2008, 9:58pm

Looking after the contrasting needs of two is *****very***** interesting! In the first few days, you will probably panic and wonder how on earth it will work, but you'll get the hang of it, your older child will realise that life is now different and your younger one will see how life is too. So, try not to let the panic overcome you, and you will find a way. Compared to having one...... need I say more!! I shall enjoy watching your progress!!

The only thing I can think of in the meantime is to give your older one lots of attention and play (they will wonder where it's gone in a few days' time!), but at the same time, find a couple of times in the day where you make it clear to them that you're going to do *your* thing and they have to entertain themselves - that's what they're going to have to learn.

My younger one is now 20 months old and I'd say it's only in the last month or so that they've really worked out how to play as friends - for maybe 5 minutes at a time if I'm lucky.

It's a whole different ballgame from one, but twice the reward and twice the delight too!
Had a total of three fresh IVF cycles and three frozen transfers (embryos and blastocysts)
m/c @ 11 weeks in 2007 DS1 and DS2 born from fresh IVF cycles :D
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Friday, January 4th 2008, 1:57pm

Karen- you're amazing!!





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Friday, January 4th 2008, 8:57pm

Quoted

Does anyone have any wise words about how to cope when your tiny wants milk and your toddler wants a cuddle / drink / throwing up in the air / pushing around on her trike / has a tantrum etc etc etc?


feed the baby, give the toddler a head stroke, let them cuddle your legs, and worry about clearing up the chaos after the baby has fed :P

Rivka

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Saturday, January 5th 2008, 10:34am

Quoted

Originally posted by Chilli

M's thing is toilet roll we go through so many, she does it then comes in looking shocked and pointing to the toilet as if to say "you'll never guess what!!??"


That is EXACTLY what Plum does too "Who did that Mummy?!!"







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Saturday, January 5th 2008, 8:29pm

Quoted

Originally posted by Sunshine
feed the baby, give the toddler a head stroke, let them cuddle your legs, and worry about clearing up the chaos after the baby has fed :P


Or after they have both started school!





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Saturday, January 5th 2008, 9:05pm

Enjoying this thread. Rivka - can't believe your baby is imminiment! All the very best! Hope all goes smoothly, love Lesa xx
Keep smiling :happy:

Rivka

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Saturday, January 5th 2008, 9:09pm

Thanks Lesa, getting very, very impatient now, can't wait to meet her :D!







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Saturday, January 5th 2008, 9:14pm

I am sure! It is very exciting - could this be the first fz baby of 2008? Or am I wrong? Lol xx
Keep smiling :happy:

Rivka

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Saturday, January 5th 2008, 9:15pm

At this rate I sincerely doubt it, I think Sharon (Swellhill) will pip me.







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Thursday, January 17th 2008, 6:19am

how's it going Rivka?

ZIG

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Tuesday, January 22nd 2008, 9:35pm

Feeling a bit of a failure at the mo - especially after I read Karen's posts... 4 kids and still sane!

I have ended up knocking b/f on the head after 4 months as it had really started to get in the way of my relationship with Bella (she just turned 2yrs in Dec). With Ruby being so big and such a hungry/sucky baby, I was pinned to the sofa by my nips almost 24/7 and had no real quality time with B. I was jealous that she'd got so close to dh and she was jealous of Ruby having constant mummy time. Plus I was so grotty due to lack of sleep that I had little energy or patience with Bella when I did get 5 mins.

Sorry this all sounds so negative, but now that I'm into wk2 of bottle only, we are back on track. I finally have routine, Ruby and I get more sleep and most importantly, we now have fabulous mummy/Bella time. The tantrums are still there (terrible two's) but I can deal with them in a calm and rational manner and Bella gets to sit on mummy's knee when she's calmed down instead of having to make do with a quick pat on the head.

Zig x
Me 38, DH 44. 2002-2004 2x ICSI's, 1x egg donation. Changed clinics for own eggs ICSI/tx no.4 - BFP 27/4/05! Mummy to Isabella after early c-section 15/12/05, due to LLP. Baby No.2 (huge 'natural' surprise!) Ruby Olivia arrived 29/09/07 via emergency c-section.

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Tuesday, January 22nd 2008, 9:42pm

4 months is bloody great it must be very difficult you made a decision that suits the whole family! don't feel a failure it's bloody hard to BF and even harder to stop as much as people think it's easy it really isn't xx

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Tuesday, January 22nd 2008, 10:24pm

I agree! Four months is excellent and you ought to feel very happy with yourself. It's tough the second time around and you don't have the time or the energy to devote to either child but the important thing is that you have given it a bloody great bug chunk of dedication and you kept it up until it was no longer possible.

In my opinion you've done a fantastic job to get so far.





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Wednesday, January 23rd 2008, 10:56am

I've found bfing harder then I thought, and I only have one baby to look after! So to bf a newborn/small baby for 4 months, and look after a toddler, well take my hat off to you!....I think you have done an excellent job, and am glad things are going well for you all, with your new routine, and you are getting some lovely time with both your girls/ as a family!

xxx



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Wednesday, January 23rd 2008, 11:13am

Zig - hun, you have my sympathy... the bloody terrible twos are awful arent they?
And I'm back to work so when I'm home it tears me apart having to try and squeeze a day's love into both before they go to bed :bawl:

ZIG

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Wednesday, January 23rd 2008, 12:50pm

Aw thanks girls - just had a quick weep! I really was looking forward to b/f this time but was disappointed that I didn't enjoy it and even began to resent it.
You're right, Sun, B is a little bxgger at the mo. Let's hope Plum continues to be a little angel for Rivka now that the new baby is here!
I'm off back to work starting the first week of April and feeling very torn - looking forward to just being me again but then missing the girls like mad. It's only for 2 days a week, so it'll be fine. Hats off to you Sun for being a full time working mum. My sis is also the breadwinner in her family and it is bloody hard.
Zig x
Me 38, DH 44. 2002-2004 2x ICSI's, 1x egg donation. Changed clinics for own eggs ICSI/tx no.4 - BFP 27/4/05! Mummy to Isabella after early c-section 15/12/05, due to LLP. Baby No.2 (huge 'natural' surprise!) Ruby Olivia arrived 29/09/07 via emergency c-section.

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Wednesday, January 23rd 2008, 1:58pm

Zig

I had to 'give up' bf at ten weeks. I also found it hard to cope with the two boys and feed Olivia. I did feel awful for a little while, but we fell into a routine almost straight away. I had more energy to deal with the day to day things and split my time between the three children.

I'm back in work now, and i can't believe where the nine months off has gone. I think you've done fab to last all that time, and I'm sure you'll enjoy your two days in work so you can be you again - all be it for a little while ;0( xx
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Rivka

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Wednesday, January 23rd 2008, 6:53pm

Quoted

Originally posted by ZIG
Feeling a bit of a failure at the mo - especially after I read Karen's posts... 4 kids and still sane!

I have ended up knocking b/f on the head after 4 months as it had really started to get in the way of my relationship with Bella (she just turned 2yrs in Dec). With Ruby being so big and such a hungry/sucky baby, I was pinned to the sofa by my nips almost 24/7 and had no real quality time with B. I was jealous that she'd got so close to dh and she was jealous of Ruby having constant mummy time. Plus I was so grotty due to lack of sleep that I had little energy or patience with Bella when I did get 5 mins.

Sorry this all sounds so negative, but now that I'm into wk2 of bottle only, we are back on track. I finally have routine, Ruby and I get more sleep and most importantly, we now have fabulous mummy/Bella time. The tantrums are still there (terrible two's) but I can deal with them in a calm and rational manner and Bella gets to sit on mummy's knee when she's calmed down instead of having to make do with a quick pat on the head.

Zig x


Just wanted to say you've done so well feeding until four months, hats off to you, you absolutely should not feel like a failure.

I'm really struggling with feeding, in fact I'm hating every single second of it. Plum is being an angel, thats no the problem. I've had mastitis and thrush and every feed is very painful. I've had the bfing expert out to check my latch and she says it is good. Plus Pud is a snacker, she latches for five minutes then falls asleep for 20 mins then repeat. Daytime I can cope with, its the nights that are getting me down. Close to tears a lot of the time and its affecting poor little Plum.

Determined to stick with it, two weeks is pathetic...so as I said Zig, you've done great

xxx

ps. sorry for the whining, just letting it out a bit, makes things easier.







ZIG

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Wednesday, January 23rd 2008, 11:08pm

Sending you a HUGE hug my darling. I had a touch if thrush at the beginning and my nips got sore. I'm glad I persevered as things improved after week 3/4, but I never really enjoyed it, as I said before. But you do what is best for YOU. We are all on your side, and whatever decision you reach is because it is the best for everyone at that point in time. Give it another few days and see how you feel. If it is too much then stop.
The sleep thing is hell. Most mums completely understand why sleep deprivation is used as a form of torture! Ruby now wakes 2 times a night maximum, instead of every hour or so and it is amazing how much better I feel, even though I only get 5 to 6 broken hours of sleep. The positive thing is I know things will get better and that there is light at the end of the tunnel, and that's what you have to focus on, Rivka.

Much love Zig x
Me 38, DH 44. 2002-2004 2x ICSI's, 1x egg donation. Changed clinics for own eggs ICSI/tx no.4 - BFP 27/4/05! Mummy to Isabella after early c-section 15/12/05, due to LLP. Baby No.2 (huge 'natural' surprise!) Ruby Olivia arrived 29/09/07 via emergency c-section.

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Thursday, January 24th 2008, 11:18am

Zig - you're lucky - DS#2 is *still* in an every-4-hour feeding mode!!!

How often are you feeding Rivka? I had to feed #2 every 2-3 hours 24/7 at the beginning to avoid mastitis..... :(

on the plus side, that shows that you have a great amount of milk ;)

is there someone who can come & help give Plums some attention during the daytime?

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Tuesday, January 29th 2008, 8:47pm

I am pleased to report that the feeding is much better now thankfully. Seem to have got past the mastitis thing and boobies are generally much happier.

Sunshine - luckily there are a few mums locally who have been over occasionally to let their toddlers play with Plum which takes the pressure off for an hour or so.

Sheesh tho, still tired but thats par for the course (coarse?) eh?!







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Tuesday, January 29th 2008, 8:52pm

Glad things are better in the boob area :D

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Tuesday, January 29th 2008, 8:52pm

Pleased the feeding is settling down mate.

Rivka

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Tuesday, January 29th 2008, 9:06pm

me too, mastitis is eeevil.







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Tuesday, January 29th 2008, 9:11pm

Glad to hear your boobs are better.





ZIG

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Tuesday, January 29th 2008, 9:13pm

Oh good stuff. Try and get into a feeding/sleeping routine asap - not doing so was my mistake. Then baby, Plum AND you will benefit.

Yep, the tiredness is a real killer. I'm like the living dead, especially as Bella has now decided that 6am is a good time to wake up.

Zig x
Me 38, DH 44. 2002-2004 2x ICSI's, 1x egg donation. Changed clinics for own eggs ICSI/tx no.4 - BFP 27/4/05! Mummy to Isabella after early c-section 15/12/05, due to LLP. Baby No.2 (huge 'natural' surprise!) Ruby Olivia arrived 29/09/07 via emergency c-section.




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