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  • "Suzy Q" started this thread

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Friday, February 22nd 2008, 8:52am

separating twins

Me again!

E & C have shared a cotbed in our room since they were born. In a mission for us all to get a better night sleep I'm planning on moving them to the nursery next door so i can do some controlled crying to try and get C to sleep through. The thing is, E sleeps through at the moment and i know there'll be lots of crying for a few nights which will disturn her.

From your experience do you think it would be ok to just move C out or will the combination of being in a new room, being without his sister & not getting the feed and cuddles in the night that he's used to all be too much. They have both spent quite a bit of time in the nursery all along but only during the day, they've started having their day naps there just this week. Any advice on what you've found works? I'm determined to get a reasonable amount of sleep by mothers day so i can stop feeling like the walking dead!!

Many thanks

xxx

ETS i just want C to sleep from his late evening feed ~11pm to 7am.
Me 35, DH 31 [zx075]
Bilateral hydrosalpinges discovered May 06
Bilateral salpingectomy June 06
1st IVF August 06 BFN
2nd IVF January 07 BFP Twins!!


This post has been edited 1 times, last edit by "Suzy Q" (Feb 22nd 2008, 9:15am)


kski

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Friday, February 22nd 2008, 2:33pm

Firstly Congrats on making it to 4 months and keeping your sanity

We put them in seperate beds form the start. M was bigger and would have rolled over on his sister !

They seem to have a health distain for each - other - which I suppose is a result of spending 9 month in a cramped space with someone arse in your face !

We started them in the Nursery at about 5 months - they were not bothered as we changed them in the nursury and put their toys in there ...

the only thing that has really helped is the dream feed - which pushes them through to 8 am

Other wise - M goes to sleep at 7.30 pm by himself - His sister could happily stay up till 11pm to watch newsnight, What can you do !

When they sleep through - its bliss !

k
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Friday, February 22nd 2008, 2:38pm

I would say put them both together, does the one wake the other at the moment?? My two hae neer diturbed each other, one can be screaming and the other will stay asleep thankfully!!! xx
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kski

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Friday, February 22nd 2008, 2:46pm

Quoted

Originally posted by Diddle
I would say put them both together, does the one wake the other at the moment?? My two hae neer diturbed each other, one can be screaming and the other will stay asleep thankfully!!! xx


He wakes her up


She can cream and he will sleep though - Typical bloke - pretends not hear !
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Friday, February 22nd 2008, 2:55pm

LOL!! I would leae them to it unless you intend putting them in seperate rooms they have to get used to it cause they will be together for a while!! xxx
Mum of 3 year old twins.
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  • "Suzy Q" started this thread

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Friday, February 22nd 2008, 6:58pm

I guess I'll move them both at the same time then and E will just have to put up with her brothers yells for a couple of nights. Mostly she sleeps through it but if she's on the verge of waking it will set her off. Last night was the first time I'd dropped her dream feed and she's eaten much better today (after a dream feed I can't get her to eat much before midday the next day) but i did spend all last night waiting for her to wake up wanting and I know she will if C is screaming next to her :rolleyes: Ho hum! I know we'll crack it soon!

Thank you!
Me 35, DH 31 [zx075]
Bilateral hydrosalpinges discovered May 06
Bilateral salpingectomy June 06
1st IVF August 06 BFN
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lulu27

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Friday, February 22nd 2008, 7:16pm

i'd def keep them together, even now one can be screaming and it wont disturb the other with mine, dont know how they do it!!!! xxx

  • "1xbaby pls" is no longer a member of FZ

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Friday, February 22nd 2008, 8:33pm

Yup my to share J wakes everynight M never
J has even en ill this week chucking up , so i have b stripping beds and scrubbing floor and M ner twitched.

Plus some mornings I go in and there holding hands (fingers) through the bars.. Cute xx
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Saturday, February 23rd 2008, 12:38am

one question suzy, what do you do when your littleun wakes in the night?do you rush straight in and take him out the cot or do you see if he will get himself back to sleep? Im sure at his age if he has a feed from 11theres no reason why he shouldnt sleep through.
I was pulling my hair out until about 2 months ago when i stopped running to them when they cried in the night and after about 3-4 minutes, they stopped and went back to sleep

I think babies should only be moved into their own rooms when they are settled and sleeping through. Maybe you should move the other one in instead!

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Saturday, February 23rd 2008, 1:12pm

Mine were in cots in own room at 12 weeks.
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Saturday, February 23rd 2008, 1:15pm

hi sweetie

we moved h and T into their own room at 15 weeks as they were too big for their moses baskets and they have just gotten used to each other. Generally they don't wake each other, but now they seem to be a bit more aware of each other they do have a little chat and then drop back off. They also both dropped the feed the same night and now have their feeds and naps at the same time, so I would encourage you to do it soon!!

Take care

Rosie
xx
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trying for 3.5 years, 12 months clomid, 1 m/c April 05, Fresh IVF March 06 BFN, FET Oct 06 BFP - Twins!! Littlebits born 29.05.07 and 30.05.07 :]

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Saturday, February 23rd 2008, 9:52pm

Hi,

I would keep them together, our twins were in their own room together at 12 weeks in their own cots, (Molly had 12 wks of colic) & we needed sleep!! Molly can scream the house down but doesn't wake Daisy.

1xbaby - aww that's so cute them holding hands, mine love saying each other's names jumping up & down!! I can hear Molly up, Daisy up!!

x
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  • "Suzy Q" started this thread

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Sunday, February 24th 2008, 9:26am

Thanks girls, going to move them both tonight. I'm sure C will be fine and sleeping through within a few nights (hoping I don't eat my words). If I was stronger I could probably do controlled crying with them still in our room but it's so difficult when they're just 2 foot away from you (I do often let him cry for 5-10 mins before getting up but he knows perseverance pays off!). I know he's just waking out of habit rather than for hunger. Will keep you posted!

Lisa & 1x, that is so cute!! E snuggles into C at the mo but he is very non plussed by it all! Can't wait till they interact with each other more.

xxx
Me 35, DH 31 [zx075]
Bilateral hydrosalpinges discovered May 06
Bilateral salpingectomy June 06
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  • "Suzy Q" started this thread

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14

Monday, February 25th 2008, 9:35am

Update

Well so far so good, they went down fine in the nursery last night, and I at least had a much better sleep :innocent: C woke & cried a few times but he doesn't seem to be holding it against me this morning and he didn't finish his 7am feed so I don't think I was starving him.

Fingers crossed he sleeps through soon!

Thanks again for all your advice & support.
Me 35, DH 31 [zx075]
Bilateral hydrosalpinges discovered May 06
Bilateral salpingectomy June 06
1st IVF August 06 BFN
2nd IVF January 07 BFP Twins!!



csam

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Monday, February 25th 2008, 10:03am

Pleased it's going well Suzy. I know I don't have twins but have been reading your thread as M is about the same age and still not sleeping through !

Have looked here for inspiration ! Not brave enough to put M in her own room yet, and seems fool hardy when she's still waking up.

Anyway, glad you got some better sleep and lovely to hear that your little pickles are doing well

xxxxxx

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Monday, February 25th 2008, 10:22am

Woohoo well done Suzy, I foulnd i slept better once they were in own room
Noisy little things aren't they - did your snuffly in sleep.
So csam you going to try????
You could start with day naps in own room and mov her over when your comftable

x x x
1st go ICSI - @ royal shewsbury and Telford NHS funded
25 eggs collected 27/3/06
15 fertilized - 8 grade A - 2 transfered 30th/3
test date - Thursday 13th April, BFP :D :D :D
:baby: ITS TWINS :baby:
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lulu27

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Monday, February 25th 2008, 10:40am

As soon as mine went into their own room they slept through, whereas in our room they were waking!! xx

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Monday, February 25th 2008, 10:49am

Quoted

Originally posted by 1xbaby pls
You could start with day naps in own room and mov her over when your comftable

x x x


I put her down now upstairs in her crib (it's where she sleeps at night), but I suppose I should have really started putting her in her cot, so that when she goes in her own room she's used to her cot. She'll have to go in it soon because when she rolls over she keeps getting wedged in the bars :rolleyes:

so, have only really started last week trying to get M to have regular naps upstairs, now I'm thinking I'll have to start all over again getting her used to her cot !

CONFUSED !!

I wonder why they sleep better in their own room ? I'm sure me and DH don't disturb her.... ?( still not brave enough ATM !!

xxx

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Monday, February 25th 2008, 10:56am

Mine were like sleeping next to two trains.
So noisy i just couldnt nod off to sleep and when they wake next to you it gives you such a start your up and comforting before you know what time it is.

At least in there own room it gives them a min to go back to sleep before you drag yourself there.

I started putting boys in there cots whilst i put clothes away or tidyed upstairs.
then tp day naps and then week lated in cots at night aswell.
x
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Monday, February 25th 2008, 11:01am

Thanks 1x, she's pretty quiet at night TBH, I'm still not sure if she needs to feed at night (she feeds better at silly o clock then she does in the day :rolleyes:) I leave her for ages when she wakes up, but she then kicks all the covers off and gets herself stuck in the bars !!

I put her in her cot when upstairs too, tidying up, also I've got a cot top changer so she's changed in the nursery.

Lots to think about, head hurts !!

xxx

  • "Suzy Q" started this thread

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Monday, February 25th 2008, 11:33am

Quoted

Originally posted by csam

Have looked here for inspiration ! Not brave enough to put M in her own room yet, and seems fool hardy when she's still waking up.


csam, I am an evil mummy and put them into their own room precisely because C was still waking up! I think they are at an age/size now where they don't need to be waking up so by moving them out i'm far more likely to let them be if they cry which i think is helping them get proper sleep habits (by not rewarding them by going to them when they wake). Of course the fact that i also then get better sleep is just a bonus and not at all a huge incentive :no:

E feeds better at night too - she's too nosey during the day to concentrate on food - e doesn't eat much and is still a tiddler but i've found cutting down/out her dream feed means she does eat better during the day.

xxx
Me 35, DH 31 [zx075]
Bilateral hydrosalpinges discovered May 06
Bilateral salpingectomy June 06
1st IVF August 06 BFN
2nd IVF January 07 BFP Twins!!



csam

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Monday, February 25th 2008, 11:42am

mmmmmm That's interesting Suzy, M is a nightmare feeder, she wants to watch the TV, or suck her thumb (she's just discovered that), or she'll have a few sucks, come off, look up and smile at me, have a few sucks,look up, smile etc etc !! She's a tiddler also.

I have to sit in a quiet dark room !! ATM she's really off feeding and I wonder if she would feed better during the day too if she wasn't waking at night.

Lots to think about, sounds like you are getting there tho hun so I'm sure I can manage it when I only have 1 ! Sorry to hi-jack your thread newshy



xxxx

  • "Suzy Q" started this thread

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Monday, February 25th 2008, 12:11pm

Quoted

Originally posted by csam
! Sorry to hi-jack your thread newshy


Don't be daft, it's good to chat with you!

xxx
Me 35, DH 31 [zx075]
Bilateral hydrosalpinges discovered May 06
Bilateral salpingectomy June 06
1st IVF August 06 BFN
2nd IVF January 07 BFP Twins!!



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24

Sunday, March 2nd 2008, 11:40am

Could I ask what controlled crying is?
Melanie
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Sunday, March 2nd 2008, 11:47am

To help them learn to settle themselves to sleep by given them a longer then normal strech befor you go in to sort them out

Say you normally go traight to sooth cryng Bubbas his way you only go in the room after say 2 mins and build up the tme frame to say 10mins (depends on babys age) but not to let they cry Hysterically. My simple explanation or a proper one :snigger: is below x


Crying down

This method can be particularly helpful when initial feeding problems have been resolved and a baby only has mild sleep association problems or has difficulty falling asleep because he is overtired or over-stimulated.The technique involves leaving your baby to cry, and although it's very difficult to listen to a young baby cry himself to sleep, it will prevent serious sleep problems in the future.

Crying down with a baby under six weeks usually lasts between five and 10 minutes, although with some babies who have become over-tired and fight sleep, it can last up to 20 minutes. If you find the crying hard to ignore try and wait for five to 10 minutes before going in to your baby.

You can then enter your baby's room and reassure him with a soothing touch or quiet voice. This should be kept to between one to two minutes before leaving him. You should then wait about 5-10 minutes before returning. Try to repeat this procedure until the baby learns to sleep by himself.

The core night

The core night method can be used for a baby over six weeks, who weighs more than 4.6kg (l0lb), has fallen into a good daytime routine and is settling well in the evening, and provided he's putting on enough weight each week. You'll know it's the right time to start thinking about this method when your baby's still waking in the night looking for a feed but not feeding well at 7am.

The core night works on the principle that once a baby sleeps for one longer spell in the night over several nights, he shouldn't be fed again during the hours slept in the course of the core night. Once you've seen that your baby can last a certain length of time without a feed, you can use this opportunity to help him to sleep longer. If he wakes during these hours, he should be left for a few minutes to settle himself back to sleep.

If he doesn't settle, try patting him, offering him a dummy or a sip of water, giving him the minimum of attention. Babies over six weeks who are putting on a good amount of weight each week but who are still waking at 3am should be offered a dummy or a bottle of cool, boiled water. If your baby still won't settle, give him the smallest feed that gets him through until 7am.

Controlled crying

If all other methods have failed, controlled crying is the most effective way to sleep-train babies over 6 months.

It is an intense technique and takes a lot of commitment and perseverance but can be very successful in getting your baby to sleep through. If your baby is still feeding in the night, however, it's a good idea to try the core night method to ensure he isn't crying from genuine hunger.

Start controlled crying in the evening on the first day. The same procedure should be carried out no matter how many times your baby or toddler wakes up in the night.
1st go ICSI - @ royal shewsbury and Telford NHS funded
25 eggs collected 27/3/06
15 fertilized - 8 grade A - 2 transfered 30th/3
test date - Thursday 13th April, BFP :D :D :D
:baby: ITS TWINS :baby:
M.L & J.F - Born 9/11/06 6w prem (6lb 5oz & 4lb 10oz)

This post has been edited 1 times, last edit by "1xbaby pls" (Mar 2nd 2008, 11:48am)


  • "Suzy Q" started this thread

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Saturday, March 8th 2008, 1:48pm

Another update

ok so they've been in their own room nearly 2 weeks now and i don't think we're any nearer to breaking Cs night waking. A couple of nights i managed not to get up as he settled himself within 15-20 mins of waking, on other nights I have offered water and/or a dummy which worked for one night but he wont take them now. On the last 2 nights i caved and gave him 2-3 oz at 5am (in his cot without picking him up) which sett;ed him but then he wont eat his breakfast!

so, if it is just habit and I am to persevere, how long should it be before he realises night time is not for eating and sleeps on through? (how long is a piece of string :rolleyes: ). And am I jumping the gun by caving after 20-30 mins of full pelt wailing? Or am I being evil enough as it is? I didn't mind letting him cry it out when I thought it would be just for a couple of nights but its horrid hearing him so upset night after night. I'm happy to start giving him a quick feed at 4 when he wakes again but not sure if I do start doing that again that I'm doing him good either! We are on the whole sleeping better with them in the room next door and more often than not E will sleep through Cs crying. C wakes up in the morning a very happy bunny so he doesn't seem to be holding it against me -yet!

It's a tough one, any thoughts??
Me 35, DH 31 [zx075]
Bilateral hydrosalpinges discovered May 06
Bilateral salpingectomy June 06
1st IVF August 06 BFN
2nd IVF January 07 BFP Twins!!



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Saturday, March 8th 2008, 6:33pm

Glad there doing well are you getting a better sleep aswell (besides the early call)
Just a thought, you could try moving the 5am feed on a bit every day (say 15mins) in the hope that after a week or so C may be able to reach 6.30/7am with out needing feed.
Thee also coming up to weaning age, so you could also try persavering with the feed till you start weaning.

:D :D
1st go ICSI - @ royal shewsbury and Telford NHS funded
25 eggs collected 27/3/06
15 fertilized - 8 grade A - 2 transfered 30th/3
test date - Thursday 13th April, BFP :D :D :D
:baby: ITS TWINS :baby:
M.L & J.F - Born 9/11/06 6w prem (6lb 5oz & 4lb 10oz)

  • "Suzy Q" started this thread

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Saturday, March 8th 2008, 7:58pm

Thanks 1x, I think I will be happier going back to giving him a quick feed at 3-4am when he wakes and hope he gives it up spontaneously once we start weening. And hope he doesn't go back to waking more frequently once he's cottoned on that I'll go to him when he cries - little monkey :smile:
Me 35, DH 31 [zx075]
Bilateral hydrosalpinges discovered May 06
Bilateral salpingectomy June 06
1st IVF August 06 BFN
2nd IVF January 07 BFP Twins!!



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29

Monday, March 10th 2008, 8:43pm

Quoted

Originally posted by Suzy Q
its horrid hearing him so upset night after night.


We are programmed to respond to our babies' cries, but they are clever little things and can sound upset when actually they may just be trying to get their own way.

I was very taken with how one author put it (can't remember which book: sorry). A baby can't talk, so the only "talking" it can do is to cry. All we hear is as if he/she is upset, but if you imagine what he might be trying to say at 4am, how about this? (imagine someone shouting this at you) "Mummy, where are you? Where are you? Why aren't you coming in to see me like you did last night? I'm getting cross because you're not doing what I want you to do, I want you to come in *now*" Etc, etc. Suddenly, you can see that they're not necessarily upset or desperate or lonely or in pain, but actually just trying to control the situation. Then, it becomes just a bit easier to leave them longer because you know it's best for them to sleep a bit longer.

Anyway, I'm glad you're getting a bit more sleep now. Weaning may throw things a bit pear-shaped for a while, so either ride it out till he's on solids, or see if you can get it sorted such that when it goes out of kilter, he's got a routine that he can slip back into once he's got solids.

  • "Suzy Q" started this thread

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Tuesday, March 11th 2008, 2:57pm

Thanks Limpet, they are mischievous little monkeys I know, its good to remind yourself of that though. We had Emma pegged at 8 weeks when after a particularly gut wrenching cry she gave us this unmistakable ha ha ha I can control you smug smile when we went to her! Charlie on the other hand is an evil genius, he makes out he's a dopey innocent puppy dog but you can hear the cogs whirring if you listen hard enough. Gotta love em!.
Me 35, DH 31 [zx075]
Bilateral hydrosalpinges discovered May 06
Bilateral salpingectomy June 06
1st IVF August 06 BFN
2nd IVF January 07 BFP Twins!!






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