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compley

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  • "compley" started this thread

Posts: 6,056

Reg: Apr 30th 2006

Children: DS and DD

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Monday, September 22nd 2008, 8:42pm

Have started back at work, feel like a newbie again!

I started back at work, at the start of Sept.

I had a year off, and had worked there, full time, for 5 years, prior to mat leave.

I'm doing 24 hours a week now, made up of either 2 longdays, or a longday and a night shift.

I like my job, the people, happy with my hours, that H is happy etc, and have found going back to work much easier than I thought, on the whole.

The only thing is, I feel like I'm starting all over again. I knew it would take a bit of time, but I just feel really unconfident. Before I went on mat leave, I was confident, knew my job inside out, had the answers to the questions etc etc. Now Im asking the questions, and it just all feels different.

There have been a few of us on mat leave, and therefore some of the newer staff took on more responsibility. From comments that have been made, and a few incidents since being back, it's as if they feel threatened now we are coming back, and that's hard, because I respect they have developed, and at the end of the day, we are all a team, there to do a job, and work together.

I feel that since having H, I have learnt so much, about myself as a person, and developed in so many ways, and feel confident as a Mum, and trust my instinct. But with work, that seems to have gone.

Being P/T, I also feel I can't keep up, as I used to. I'm not there everyday, to be involved in everything, and when I'm there, I sometimes feel like I'm playing 'catch up'.

I don't know, is this normal? does it get better? I think, maybe it's just another big period of adjustment, and things will get better, I just feel like I left being 'one person', and feeling like I played an important part of the team, and have gone back 'another person' and struggling to find my feet....Everyone says I'm doing fine, it's just me, and how I feel...

xxx



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Posts: 2,934

Reg: Oct 10th 2005

Location: Wales

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Monday, September 22nd 2008, 10:31pm

Hmmm
Now I was going to post to say yep totally normal and you'll get back into it after a few more weeks...

But you know hunni, I feel I am different now..Works not the most important thing in my life now and while I enjoy it and want to do a good job while I'm there, I'm kinda counting the hours until I pick up A from nursery or arrive hme to see him. I'm still 100% commited to work but more laid back and happy to let the newbies have their glory ( I work in sales to targets etc ) and I'm happy to plod on.

Going back was a shock though, things had changed and lots of changes and new people about that I didn't know, but you do settle back in and it does become like it was. I bet it took you ages to come round to the idea you had a year off work when you finished to have H, it's the same going back.

You'll get your mojo back soon my lovely

Hope some of that made sense :innocent:

xx


Me 39, DH 39 ICSI Nov '06 BFP

FET Dec '10 - ET Dec 16th - Test Day 31/12/10





compley

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  • "compley" started this thread

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Children: DS and DD

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Tuesday, September 23rd 2008, 11:56am

Thanks Caz, think you are right in what you have said. I've been thinking about it, and feel like you, that I am different now. Having H has changed me in so many ways, and for the better I think. So it makes sense that I have gone back with different feelings, thoughts, and priorities.

When I am there, I do my job to the best of my ability, and looking after the patient's is my main priority, and I do that well. It's all the 'admin'/ward running bits, that I can't seem to do/be involved in as much. But then I think does that matter as much? And probably it doesn't, there are other people who can do that, and I think I have to adjust to the fact that I can't do all the things I did before,and let them do those thing, I'm physically not there as much, so there is only so much I can do!
Ironically, I think I have more time with the patient's because I'm not in charge as much now, not chasing things from 'yesterday' or for 'tomorrow' and I like that.

And when I am not in work, I barely give it a thought, work is for when I'm at work, and the rest of the time is our family life, and enjoying that time. So, probably, as you say, it's also the realisation that work isn't quite as high up my priority list, as it used to be.

xxx



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one2b

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Reg: Oct 30th 2006

Location: Stoke on Trent

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Thursday, September 25th 2008, 12:15pm

know exactly how you feel hun, im not even doing HR work at the min im on "projects"! so everyone is taking around me and its wizzing me off!!

compley

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  • "compley" started this thread

Posts: 6,056

Reg: Apr 30th 2006

Children: DS and DD

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Thursday, September 25th 2008, 12:34pm

Did a longday yesterday and was in charge. It was fine, but just feel so much more dithery, and not so on the ball as before, and just wish I wasn't asking questions so much *sigh* .....but at the end of the day, all the patient's were fine, and I left everything as sorted as I could for this morning, so I did all I could...



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soph01

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Reg: Sep 18th 2008

Location: Uk

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Friday, October 3rd 2008, 6:29pm

I know what you're going through. Even if everyone is the same, its just the feeling that so much happened and everyone has their new jokes and new stories! It just feels like things will never be the same, but don't worry. Give it a couple of months and you'll feel right again. :smile:

compley

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  • "compley" started this thread

Posts: 6,056

Reg: Apr 30th 2006

Children: DS and DD

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Friday, October 3rd 2008, 7:53pm

Thanks Sophie xxx



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csam

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Friday, October 3rd 2008, 7:59pm

Can really relate to everything you say Laura!

The 'people' side of my job never changes, but the 'admin' side is by passing me a little ATM!

I always feel like I'm just 'popping in' in a way but it's ok, it's helping in a way not to be constantly worrying about work, now I have little M.

I think that it's just a different phase for both of us, working and being a mum, and I'm hoping that it will just feel 'normal' soon.

I hope things feel better soon, don't worry about playing 'catch up', there is always someone doing your important job when you can't be, and when you are there I bet you are really valued.

take care

xxxxx

  • "Flowertot" is no longer a member of FZ

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Reg: Oct 6th 2008

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Tuesday, October 7th 2008, 8:14pm

I have to say I was exactly the same when I went back to work. I went back last June after 6 months of maternity leave and went straight back full-time. I felt like a new girl in familiar surroundings so it was all ver surreal. I then went onto 3 days per week but will be returning full time next January.

It does take time to get back into it, but I'm sure all your colleagues realise that and hope they will give you time to get back and settled.
Jen

Ella Louise Born Tuesday 12 September at 11.48pm weighing 6lb 14oz

Mum to a 2 year old little princess born after 2 rounds of IUI.



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