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Lexie

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Tuesday, July 7th 2009, 10:19pm

Coping with Twin Toddlers - Hard work

Just after a bit advice from some of the elders with twins. I'm going to be honest and find I'm really struggling at the moment.. dont get me wrong twins are fab, they sleep from 7pm till 7/8am, will eat pretty much anything and are generally good babies but I'm finding everything else is getting on top of me all the time now they're toddling. They're just constantly pulling things out of drawers, throwing things and falling out with each other, I know this is normal toddler behaviour and i'm not complaining about that but just dont get a minute and I'm my own worst enemy as I do have a mum, MIL, friends etc who would be more than willing to have the twins for me but I dont want that as I like them to be with me most of the time.

I find I cant get anything done at all and that time is against me and its really getting me down, my life seems one big blur of tidying, washing, doing the garden etc etc and its really getting me down and I feel I'm not keeping thngs together like I should be. I'm a sahm and DH works hard sometimes being out of the house from 7 am till 8pm maybe longer on a night as he has his own business... eldest dd helps out a bit but cant expect her to help all the time as she's only 15 and likes to be out and about. I feel like a right ungrateful cow as I love my 3 children with all my heart but I want to sit back and enjoy them and not be running around like a blue arced fly all day long.

Just finding I'm getting quite snappy with everyone and quite tearful lately and would appreciate some advice on how I try and fit everything in and still be able to enjoy the little years.
Me 34,DH, 32. DD15 from prev relationship. Scan 9/07 showed 2 [zx076] [zx076] My perfect little ladies arrived healthy 7 weeks early on 18/3/08 weighing 4lb 8 and 3lb13...Love my three pinkies

:girl: :girl: :girl:


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Wednesday, July 8th 2009, 1:54pm

Hi hon, I feel your pain! I think what you’re going through is quite normal, I’ve pretty much accepted that whilst the wee ones are with me the chances of me getting anything done about the house are slim to impossible. As the babies get older they need more attention and need to be kept entertained to stop them from being bored and playing up. If I play with them they are happy children If I try and do the housework, they quickly get bored and upset & theirs misery all round. My house is consequently a tip but the house is a happier one. My mum & dad come up once a fortnight and have the kids for a few hours and I think I’d go insane without that break (my DH works 7.30-7.30 mon to friday). Reconsider accepting help from your mil or mum, just a couple of hours a week will make a big difference. If they’re happy to come to your house would that be better? Then they can entertain the girls whilst you do the things you need to do around the house & garden or even better pop out for an hour or two for some time on your own. Also I'm not sure if its feasable or not but if you can you squeeze £20 or so once a week or once a fortnight into your budget I’d really consider a cleaner, that’s a major help.

I know how crappy it is to feel you’re missing out on appreciating the babies properly because you’re just too fried :sadface: it just feels so wrong after how desperately they were longed for and how quickly the early years go. You need a break hon, accept a little help, that will give you the extra time you need to get on top of things.

Big hug

xx
Me 35, DH 31 [zx075]
Bilateral hydrosalpinges discovered May 06
Bilateral salpingectomy June 06
1st IVF August 06 BFN
2nd IVF January 07 BFP Twins!!



compley

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Wednesday, July 8th 2009, 7:37pm

Not got any advice on twin toddlers, but just want to say I find it hard enough at times with one 20 month old, and all that entails, even though it is a lovely age, it is also very full on, and I would definitely say housework has slipped down the list of priorites.

One practical thing which we find a big help, in the weekly household 'stuff' is online food shopping/home delivery. It costs us £3.50 a week for delivery, and we find it a huge help, and one less thing to worry about!

If you think you could just for a couple of hours, perhaps think about your friends/family looking after the girls. We are lucky in that dh's parents are retired, and help alot, and I definitely find having their help and support, makes such a difference.

Anyway, getting off track, what I wanted to say was I take my hat off to you twin Mummies, you're doing a fab job!

xxx



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Wednesday, July 8th 2009, 9:14pm

I just wanted to give you a :hugs: really.

I can fully sympathise with how you feel and I only have the 1!!

My DP has been working really late recently, also self employed, and I know that the last thing you feel like doing once the girls are in bed is starting on the housework/ washing/ plucking eyebrows even!!!!

If you have family thatcan help then I would ask them. I know my mum would love to help me out more (she's 100miles away!).

I think we are expected to be superwoman and there is absolutely no harm in sometimes admitting that we're not, and that is hard!

P x
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Wednesday, July 8th 2009, 10:14pm

Hi hun,

I am not yet in your situation but I think you should definitely try to accept any help that's offered. I can understand why you want your little ones to be with you as much as possible, but none of us are super human! If you can spare a little money it is worth getting a cleaner for half a day a week just to keep things under control - and if your budget can stretch, someone to mow the lawn once a fortnight! My neighbour does this and she says it makes such a huge difference.

I think it's important that you feel like you're having good quality time with them. I'm sure your family would be delighted to spend time with them too, to give you a few hours to yourself.

(of course in 6 months time when I'm trying to do everything and tearing my hair out you will copy and paste this advice over to me won't you?!!)


Hope you feel better soon :hugs:


Moonshine



Lexie

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Wednesday, July 8th 2009, 11:13pm

Thanks for the advice girls.

Another bad night, had a horrendous time bathing girls, first A threw her clothes in the bath which I'd just taken off then after the bath Isla decided to run off with her toothpaste smearing it all over the hall carpet then went to bedroom to get babygros and A had opened the baby shampoo and it was all over bathroom carpet and theres more she had taken DH's undies and socks out of washing basket and put them down the toilet. Absolute nightmare, honest I'm so worn out off them.

I used to have a cleaner (my aunt) when I was working full time and she would come on a Thursday and clean for me so I 'm considering asking if she would do this again while I am at playgroup with the girls and also I've told DH and DD they need to start putting things away and stop leaving them lying because the twins are just going for anything they see.

Think I'll be to take away once the terrible twos have hit and its nice to see I'm not the only one stressed out. I pride myself on being a coper so this stage has hit me like a ton of bricks as i'm usually on top of things.

Moonshine - I'll be looking for your update in about 18 months time and I'm sure you'll be bumping up this thread :snigger:

You gotta laugh otherwise you certainly would cry. I hate to admit defeat but I'm afraid two 15 month old toddlers have well and truely got me twisted round their little fingers.
Me 34,DH, 32. DD15 from prev relationship. Scan 9/07 showed 2 [zx076] [zx076] My perfect little ladies arrived healthy 7 weeks early on 18/3/08 weighing 4lb 8 and 3lb13...Love my three pinkies

:girl: :girl: :girl:


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Thursday, July 9th 2009, 9:58am

Quoted

Originally posted by Lexie

I pride myself on being a coper so this stage has hit me like a ton of bricks as i'm usually on top of things.

You gotta laugh otherwise you certainly would cry. I hate to admit defeat but I'm afraid two 15 month old toddlers have well and truely got me twisted round their little fingers.


I don't think it's a case of not coping or defeat is it? They've having a great time entertaining themselves with your laundry while you run around the place being a cook, cleaner, nanny and superwoman, putting on a brave face and declining offers of help. That's just being really hard on yourself, not admitting defeat.

As much as you want to do everything for the twins yourself, you probably know deep down that they would have a lovely time going off to their Grandparents for an afternoon. How about a regular afternoon a week where a Grandma could have the girls, get that cleaner in and you can take yourself off for some quality 'me' time. You know that we all function better after a break and some time away from the whirwind would be something for you to plan for, look forward to and reward yourself for the hard work you put in day after day.





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Thursday, July 9th 2009, 1:25pm

Another thing I'd recommend is being out of the house as much as possible. I make sure we're out for at least a morning or an afternoon each day, we go to play groups, play dates with friends, trips to local duck ponds, parks & farms. A current favorite outing is going to the local railway bridge to wave at the trains. This of course doesn't help you get things done but it means you're not at home trying to juggle everything and getting frustrated.

big hug xx
Me 35, DH 31 [zx075]
Bilateral hydrosalpinges discovered May 06
Bilateral salpingectomy June 06
1st IVF August 06 BFN
2nd IVF January 07 BFP Twins!!



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Thursday, July 9th 2009, 10:11pm

Oh chickadeeka you and the girs are just having a madness Patch, My 2 are complete opposites in every way, so getting them to play together nicely is near impossible.
I know its not a grade A solution but have you trie getting them a DVD of there Favorite Carachter for mine its Mr Tumble or Wiggles sometimes I sit them down witha snack and the DVD it gives me time to at Least load the dishwasher, Hoover and somtimes a brew.
Now I get them to help tidy in silly simple ways I stick a basket of washing by the machine and they shove it all in same for if it has to go in the Dryer I usually clean the surfaces and make lunch whilst they do that.
They kept washing my Patio windows with Wetwipes now I get them to do the leather sofa.
When I was struggling to do anything I used a nursery 1 day a week every Friday I cant tell you how wonderful that was, no matter how bad the week was the Thought of FRiday kept Me sane, I'd Drop them off, scoot to do the shopping,home tidy, and with out them I could get it all done in a fraction of the Time.

MWAH x x x
1st go ICSI - @ royal shewsbury and Telford NHS funded
25 eggs collected 27/3/06
15 fertilized - 8 grade A - 2 transfered 30th/3
test date - Thursday 13th April, BFP :D :D :D
:baby: ITS TWINS :baby:
M.L & J.F - Born 9/11/06 6w prem (6lb 5oz & 4lb 10oz)

Lexie

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Thursday, July 9th 2009, 11:56pm

Better day today as we kept busy and went to playgroup so feel a lot saner tonight apart from catching them eating a raw potato out of the cupboard, the day went well.

The problem with my 2 is that they wont entertain a dvd or telly for any length of time and everywhere I go they follow even if I go to the loo, theyre outside the door (probably trying to get the handle off).

Thanks for the advice though everyone - all taken on board and tommorrow I'm going to leave the girls with my aunt whilst I have a big clearout of stuff for the charity shop. That should take at least a week :)

Thanks again ladies x
Me 34,DH, 32. DD15 from prev relationship. Scan 9/07 showed 2 [zx076] [zx076] My perfect little ladies arrived healthy 7 weeks early on 18/3/08 weighing 4lb 8 and 3lb13...Love my three pinkies

:girl: :girl: :girl:


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Friday, July 10th 2009, 8:09pm

Hi Hon,

Mine went through a right whingy faze, but they get on and play together really well now.

When I give them a bath, I tend to get them both naked ( in their cots or while downstairs) they will then climb up the stair and straight to the bath. Before I take them up I always make sure I have nighties and nappies ready and take them out one at a time dress them put her in the cot while I get the other out and deal with her.

I agree with what Suzy says I have to make sure that I have things planned every day of the week otherwise they would drive me crazy in the house. I tend to do my bit of housework when they are having their nap and always try and fit in a quick sit down and a coffee! My house is not as clean as it used to be before the girls came along and the upstairs is the most neglected part of the house as when the girls are napping in their cots I am unable to do upstairs. Take the help we usually use our time so we can have nights out together. It will get easier hon I promise xx
Melanie
1st IUI cylce 10 March 06 BFN
2nd IUI cycle 19th June 06 BFN
3rd IUI cycle 6th Sep 06 BFN
4th IVF 31st March at St Barts :BFP:

Daisy born @ 35wks 20/12/07 12.16am 4lb 13.5 oz
Nuala born @ 35wks 20/12/07 12.18am 5lb 10oz


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Friday, July 10th 2009, 8:17pm

Good for you Lexie - you need some you time!!

Sounds truly terrifying...what am I letting myself in for :snigger:


Moonshine



Lexie

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Saturday, July 11th 2009, 9:21am

Quoted



Sounds truly terrifying...what am I letting myself in for :snigger:


:D A lifetime of happiness, joy and a rampaged house :D
Me 34,DH, 32. DD15 from prev relationship. Scan 9/07 showed 2 [zx076] [zx076] My perfect little ladies arrived healthy 7 weeks early on 18/3/08 weighing 4lb 8 and 3lb13...Love my three pinkies

:girl: :girl: :girl:


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Sunday, July 12th 2009, 8:37am

Oh something I do do Lexie that gives some time to get some housework while they are awake. I have a a cupboard in the kitchen that they are only allowed in, and it has tupperware and plastic bowls in, although I have to put it away after it still gives me time to do some cleaning while they are occupied for half hour xxx

P.s how did your free time go?
Melanie
1st IUI cylce 10 March 06 BFN
2nd IUI cycle 19th June 06 BFN
3rd IUI cycle 6th Sep 06 BFN
4th IVF 31st March at St Barts :BFP:

Daisy born @ 35wks 20/12/07 12.16am 4lb 13.5 oz
Nuala born @ 35wks 20/12/07 12.18am 5lb 10oz

This post has been edited 1 times, last edit by "melanie" (Jul 12th 2009, 8:38am)


Lexie

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Tuesday, July 14th 2009, 10:24pm

Free time went well... got loads sorted out and charity shop came and collected it.. was a bit emotional getting rid of cds and stuff I'd had for years but tbh I've never used them for ages so I feel loads better for decluttering x
Me 34,DH, 32. DD15 from prev relationship. Scan 9/07 showed 2 [zx076] [zx076] My perfect little ladies arrived healthy 7 weeks early on 18/3/08 weighing 4lb 8 and 3lb13...Love my three pinkies

:girl: :girl: :girl:


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Tuesday, July 21st 2009, 2:42pm

And here I was sitting and moaning becasue my 4 month old twins keep me busy and I get to do nothing when they are awake and then they only sleep mak 30min at a time.

Shame Lex, I hope it get better and take up the offers even if it is just one afternoon in a week to do things you would like to do and spend some quality me time. We really need that and only us mom will understand that!!

Love

bab10 bab10





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