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  • "kizzy" started this thread

Posts: 366

Reg: Nov 14th 2005

Location: berkshire

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Tuesday, June 12th 2007, 7:45pm

advice please !

This weekend (fathers day) is the weekend my ex is due to see my ds.
He wasnt seen him for 2 months, partly because i have put my foot down regarding him not paying any maintenance (had £300 in 4 years - he works a full time job) ... he is refusing answer his phone to the CSA.

Anyway, he rang and said he give me some money this weekend (heard it before) and he'll set up a standing order for each week (heard it before) .... and he he will have DS after his finishes work on Saturday.

DS has been invited to his mates birthday party and he said he wants to come out to dinner with me and my dp and baby T for fathers day saturday night and can he go to his dad's sunday.
Fair enough, my DP has been his stepdad for the past 4 years.

His dad has hit the roof and said he wont come for him sunday and is now off to Bristol to see his g/f and her 2 kiddies ... and i am to tell my DS that he wont ask to see him again etc .....

Should i insist my DS goes to his dads for the weekend or not ..... i am inclined to tell him to fuck off but i dont know if thats quite the right thing to do !



  • "lulu27" is no longer a member of FZ

Posts: 558

Reg: Mar 11th 2006

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Tuesday, June 12th 2007, 8:34pm

If it was me I would stand your ground and let your ds do what he wants. It sounds like your dp has been a stable part of your sons life not your ex, why should your ex click his fingers at the last minute so you then have to change all your plans??!!!

  • "victoria82" is no longer a member of FZ

Posts: 1,641

Reg: Oct 5th 2005

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Tuesday, June 12th 2007, 8:38pm

me too i will let your DS does what he want. if he want to spend the time with you and his stepdad, then let him do that, his dad is just been too childish and need to get his piority right.

Posts: 2,792

Reg: Oct 1st 2005

Location: Wherever i lay my hat

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Tuesday, June 12th 2007, 9:03pm

I agree i would just tell your ex that this was already arranged and that he wants to see him sunday on FATHERS DAY so whats his problem!!!! MEN???!!!!
Mum of 3 year old twins.
Had ICSI worked first time

Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what your gonna get!!



Posts: 7,078

Reg: Mar 31st 2007

Location: By the coast

Children: 2 beautiful girls.

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Tuesday, June 12th 2007, 10:48pm

I agree. Stand your ground. Your son has said what he wants to do, so maybe your ex should respect that?


My family is complete...I am grateful every day

DD1, natural miracle, 2005
DD2, IVF miracle, 2008

Posts: 2,235

Reg: Feb 11th 2007

Location: Cornwall

Children: My children are wonderful!

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Wednesday, June 13th 2007, 6:47am

i agree too, ds should have some control over this, it is his dad and his step-dad and his life. We all have to make decisions for our children at times but if ds has made his views plain I think you have every right to take them seriously. His plan for the weekend sounded very sensible and any decent father would have taken them on board instead of sulking. Oooops, ranting a bit!

Me 39, DH 40 Children, Lucy and DS (7)
Lucy lost in car accident 8th April 2002
TTC 6 years - ICSI x 4 - :BFN: x 4

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  • "cookie" is no longer a member of FZ

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Wednesday, June 13th 2007, 9:22am

yep, kizzy your ds is the most important person in this....if he wants to spend time with you and dp then fair you said he has been his dad for the last 4 yrs!

your ex sounds like a plonker btw.....i hate it when people try and make it awkward for their children he hasnt seen him for 2 months ffs, if he was that keen to see him he would do what ever it takes!

and like diddle said....sunday is fathers day!!! not saturday!


k xxx

I'm running down the road like loose electricity, while the band in my head plays a strip tease!

  • "kizzy" started this thread

Posts: 366

Reg: Nov 14th 2005

Location: berkshire

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Wednesday, June 13th 2007, 1:47pm

thanks ladies !!!!