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  • "Debs" started this thread

Posts: 218

Reg: Mar 15th 2006

Location: Scotland

Children: 2 DD 11 & 3yrs old. DS born 16/11/12. 2 natural 1 iui

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Wednesday, August 22nd 2007, 10:17pm

How do you stop tantrums?

My DD is 5 now and in P2 at school. She is a little darling when she wants to be but a little horror mostly all the time. I feel terrible because all day at work I am excited about picking her up from school and 2 minutes in the door she has her first of many tantrums. The tantrums are over stupid things like what clothes to wear, what she's havin for dinner etc etc. She is also sooooo bossy with everyone else including me & her dad, I feel he mostly gives in for some peace & quiet. We've both tried the bed at 8pm routine and turn her dvd off at half 8 but she still doesn't go to sleep until 10ish or even 11 then its a huge battle in the morning to get her up. I have noticed that she always boasts about what she has got liek she is always trying to compete with her cousins etc. I am blaming myself now as she is an only child and must be lonely all the time.

Please help x

TTC 5 Years
Me 30 - DH 32
DD - 8
1st IUI 25/10/08 BFP

Our beautiful little miracle finally arrived on Tues 14/07/09 :D Baby Cara x

Posts: 2,235

Reg: Feb 11th 2007

Location: Cornwall

Children: My children are wonderful!

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Wednesday, August 22nd 2007, 10:41pm

With ds once he started school we did the bath/shower at bedtime thing and then story, he could look at books for half an hour and then we turned the lights off. Sometimes he didn't sleep immediately though and we did have the odd battle! Might be an idea not to have dvd following story though, I read somewhere that tv type stuff stimulates their brains too much and makes it difficult for them to 'turn off'. Good luck! I know what you mean about looking forward to seeing them and then by bedtime I realise i've done nothing but rush him, nag him and tell him off!

Me 39, DH 40 Children, Lucy and DS (7)
Lucy lost in car accident 8th April 2002
TTC 6 years - ICSI x 4 - :BFN: x 4

Spider's Diary

Posts: 2,291

Reg: Sep 27th 2005

Location: UK

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Wednesday, August 22nd 2007, 11:06pm

I know what you mean too about looking forward to seeing them only to have your dream shattered within 5 minutes.

For me, consistency is the absolute key to all this. If you give in to what they want sometimes, but not others, then they are always going to try it on. If her dad is more lenient than you, that may also cause problems.

Sleep is so key to how well-behaved they are. For the first time in ages, on Tuesday I went in at 7.30am and found DS1 still asleep (he's usually awake by 7am and chatting to himself). That day was the happiest day I can remember with him - nothing bothered him, and he didn't have a single tantrum. Maybe you could put music on instead of a DVD as it's less stimulating? I'm afraid I'm tough: for mine, it's bath, story, lights out, bed, and that's it. They both fall asleep within 10 minutes.
Had a total of three fresh IVF cycles and three frozen transfers (embryos and blastocysts)
m/c @ 11 weeks in 2007 DS1 and DS2 born from fresh IVF cycles :D



  • "cookie" is no longer a member of FZ

Posts: 5,210

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Thursday, August 23rd 2007, 11:35am

we had a good bedtime routine with spud up untill the 6 weeks holiday started he was asleep by 8pm at the latest, but now he is still awake at 9 oclock and we are struggling to get him back into the good routine, he easily sleeps 12 hours in a night but atm he isnt getting up untill 9.30 am.
i wont let spud have a tv in his room, i think like spider said it stimulates them too much before sleep and they cant turn off....

my dh is the same as yours debs, and spud knows it too....if i say no to spud he goes straight away and asks his dad....consistancy is the key here, i have had to sit down with dh and tell him he needs to support my decissions and not over rule me as spud is getting to be a night mare, and so i now have more is so hard and i can TOTALLY empathise, i hope you find a way to a happier little girl very soon.

i would probably have a trial period with the tv being removed from her room and see how it goes...


lots of love k xxx

I'm running down the road like loose electricity, while the band in my head plays a strip tease!

Posts: 223

Reg: Apr 4th 2006

Location: Wales

Children: Connor 8, Freya 4, Harri and Rhys 3

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Friday, August 24th 2007, 10:00am

Hi Debs,

I would have to agree with what the other girls have said, remove the tv!!

Routine is the key, Connor is good at going to bed as long as we stick to his routine, bath, watch 30 min of tv (whilst I put the babies to bed) then a story, hugs, kisses and bed, he is always asleep within 5 minutes.

As for tantrums I can imagine girls are harder than boys, Freya is much more firery than the 3 boys put together but I would just ignore her, I tell Connor to go into the play room and throw a paddy, because I am not intrested... hard I know but after a few times she will realise she is not getting her own way, the main thing is not to back down, I give it a week of hell, but after that she will soon realise its just not worth the effort in throwing a tantrum as she still doesn't get her own way.

Debs, don't blame yourself because she is an only child ALL children push the limits, thats the only way they learn.

Good Luck and try and ignore the tantrums it will be worth it in the long run!!


3 Baby Angels



Posts: 1,582

Reg: Apr 20th 2007

Location: Berkshire

Children: 4

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Friday, August 24th 2007, 10:32am

Hi Debs

My DD is far more 'challenging' than my 2 boys. She is 9 now and when the twins were that age they were in bed by 8 - 8.30 whereas she is never in bed until 9 and very often moe like 9.30 and its always a battle, she constantly tries to barter another 10 mins. I think it may be because we are all downstairs and she is the only one being sent up to bed but she needs more sleep than the boys (14 now).

I agree with Kaz about ignoring the tantrums as the more of a reaction they get the worse the tantrum becomes.

Happy days hey!


Me 40
DP 43
twin boys born '93, dd born '98 [zx076]



Posts: 7

Reg: Sep 5th 2007

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Friday, September 7th 2007, 11:01pm

I totally agree with taking away the tv!
When I was having these sorts of probs with Beth I made a sticker chart for good, big girl behaviour, & I think ive still got left over stickers somewhere lol..
Basically if Beth was good she got a sticker but if she was naughty a sticker was crossed off & she had to earn it back, then u say what maybe 10 stickers in a day/wk whatever u think will work best gets her a reward????
I found this really helpful, as its something for them to continuously work on, so when ur out shopping & they start screaming, u have a way of re focusing their behaviour so that they achieve their reward!
(I hope Ive made sense?? lol ?()

- Mummy to Bethany & Joshua
- Have re commenced BBT charting in view of ttc 3rd baby