You are not logged in.


Unread posts

Dear visitor, welcome to FertilityZone . If this is your first visit here, please read the Help. It explains in detail how this page works. To use all features of this page, you should consider registering. Please use the registration form, to register here or read more information about the registration process. If you are already registered, please login here.

csam

Star

  • "csam" started this thread
  • United Kingdom

Posts: 1,520

  • Send private message

1

Sunday, October 28th 2007, 7:23pm

Struggling - again

Hi

Not sure what to post, but need a little help.

Had a few problems initially with M not feeding for long, but she's been weighed twice and is putting on weight, so maybe I was too harsh on myself and actually we were doing ok.

I don't know if it's the hormones speaking, or sheer tiredness but I really feel i am struggling now trying to BF her.

Last night was awful, she was sick (only ever been sick once before), I thought BF babies couldn't overfeed ??
Then we all just got in a state, I don't know who was crying more. she wanted to feed but didn't want to. I was scared of her choking, she was so worked up. DH was the only one who could settle her. She eventually crashed out at around 3 and has fed and slept really well today, except tonight when she was sick again ??

feel like I'm missing all her feeding 'cues' now.

I don't want to give up BF, it doesn't feel right at the moment.

But I'm so tearful and feel pretty useless just now.

does it get easier ?

xxxxxxx

lenniep

Newbie

Posts: 44

Reg: Sep 5th 2006

Location: nr ashby

  • Send private message

2

Sunday, October 28th 2007, 7:29pm

firstly have a hug :hugs:

i'm no breastfeeding expert, but it sounds to me like you're doing very well. baby is putting on weight so something is good!

could you be tired which is making you tearful. i know i had some up and downs for those first weeks. felt like i was doing everything wrong at times. Jamie is sometimes sick after a b/f in fact i've just had to mop me and him up this evening and change his babygrow and he's a happy healthy baby, his twin sister is never sick but they are putting weight on at the same rate.

try not to be so hard on yourself, you aren't useless and i've found it definately does get easier. have a look through some of the b/f threads and you'll see i've posted before about baby getting worked up when i'm trying to feed, we've come though it and now feel so much more confident

i found my hv reassuring if i doubted myself and of course the other b/f ladies on here.

lenniep x


me 33
dh 37
ds 12
ttc 9 yrs





[url=http://lilypie.com]

This post has been edited 2 times, last edit by "lenniep" (Oct 28th 2007, 7:41pm)


Rivka

MEMBER

Posts: 3,627

Reg: Oct 11th 2005

Location: Yorkshire

  • Send private message

3

Sunday, October 28th 2007, 7:29pm

Csam - right now everything will seem like a mountain to climb. You are in the really early days. I know that you have probably heard this a 100 times already but IT REALLY DOES GET EASIER, I promise.

Dh and I sat up with Plum screaming through half the nigth untold times in those first few weeks, but it doesn't last. You'll be exhausted and close to quiting many, many more times but you must never feel that you are doing something wrong or failing her in anyway. she is just acting like a two and a bit week old.

My strategy was to say, I'll bf for another day and then that became another week and then another month and so. If you want to stop, you stop, if you don't, you don't. But please just try not to beat yourself up or worry that you are are doing something wrong xxx







csam

Star

  • "csam" started this thread
  • United Kingdom

Posts: 1,520

  • Send private message

4

Sunday, October 28th 2007, 7:45pm

Thanks

That's exactly what I'm saying to myself, I'll do one more day etc

I think the sick thing is freaking me out, I'm so scared of her choking.
Not feeding or milk related but not long after she was born she had 5 episodes of going blue/grey, and not being able to breathe. Obviously babies are sick and if I bottle feed her she'll probably be more sick......

I just don't know now when she's had enough, it seemed easier before. For E.g I fed her and she was still 'rooting' but seemed too tired/uncomfortable to feed, so I rubbed her tummy and she was sick - my fault I guess ?

I'm dreading tonight, Dh is back at work tomorrow.

xxxxxxx

Chilli

Megastar

    United Kingdom

Posts: 7,771

Reg: Oct 3rd 2005

Thanks: 13 / 2

  • Send private message

5

Sunday, October 28th 2007, 7:47pm

CSAM you sound like you are doing a great job and everything you have said is EXCATLEY what we were going through when M was first born. BF is something I hadn't really thought about till I had her then it became very important to me and sheer deterimation keep me going in that first month, then it started to become easier as we both got more confident then it became second nature. Rivka is totally right you almost have to set yourself goals... I will do it for 3 days....then 2 weeks...then a month.....then 3 months...ect ect

Are you eating anything that may disagree with her tummy? I will see if I can find the thread about food. :)

csam

Star

  • "csam" started this thread
  • United Kingdom

Posts: 1,520

  • Send private message

6

Sunday, October 28th 2007, 7:57pm

Quoted

Originally posted by Chilli
Are you eating anything that may disagree with her tummy? I will see if I can find the thread about food. :)


Thanks Chilli. I've been keeping my diet fairly bland so i don't think so....

Part of the problem is (esp during the night), is that sometimes she'll feed and we'll put her down, she'll settle for a bit but will then 'fuss' like crazy, panting, arm and legs flailing(sp), huffing and puffing. We'll leave her to see if she'll settle but eventually she'll start crying. She'll settle with Dh for a bit then but will then want feeding.I don't know if she really wants feeding or she doesn't want to take enough milk at the first attempt ?

I never knew how hard this would be ! I just fel I'm missing a piece of the puzzle somehow.

xxxx

Bells

ADMINISTRATOR

    United Kingdom

Posts: 14,475

Thanks: 40 / 66

  • Send private message

7

Sunday, October 28th 2007, 8:02pm

RE: Struggling - again

Quoted

Originally posted by csam
Hi

Not sure what to post, but need a little help.


That's what we're here for!

Quoted

Had a few problems initially with M not feeding for long, but she's been weighed twice and is putting on weight, so maybe I was too harsh on myself and actually we were doing ok.


There's something really positive. Most babies 'will' lose weight and that makes this phase so much harder because you have a very definite reason to doubt yourself. In your case you have very definite proof that the milk you're providing is nourishing her. That's great!

Quoted

I don't know if it's the hormones speaking, or sheer tiredness but I really feel i am struggling now trying to BF her.


Both I would imagine. Gosh you know, they use sleep deprivation as a form of torture in some places. I can't begin to tell you want the massive hormone fluctuations are doing inside you right now.... it's like a chemistry lab inside your body righty now with chemicals and hormones flying about.

Quoted

Last night was awful, she was sick (only ever been sick once before), I thought BF babies couldn't overfeed ??


Oh COURSE they can!!! Sucking on a boob is so lovely for them... why would they want to stop?? My youngest would comfort feed and then promptly throw the whole lot up... what a waste... :rolleyes: I had to be really careful to take her off before she started sucking for comfort, if you watch carefully you will see the transition from feeding/swallowing for food and sucking for comfort.


Quoted

Then we all just got in a state, I don't know who was crying more. she wanted to feed but didn't want to. I was scared of her choking, she was so worked up. DH was the only one who could settle her. She eventually crashed out at around 3 and has fed and slept really well today, except tonight when she was sick again ??


What a pickle! Ok so it went pear shaped.... it happens! I cried and cried and cried during those early weeks with my DD2... feeding was a nightmare and you would think after I had already sussefully fed a previous baby for 17 months I would be good at it? Nope... no such luck.

Each baby is different and you have to learn how they work.... it would be easy if you could sleep for 8 hours a night and look at the behaviour with a fresh brain... but I know for a fact that right now you feel like you haven't done anything other than feed your baby, hold your baby, calm your baby, bathe, dress and care for your baby for about the last three months straight???

That DOES get easier! It can't stay this hard forever can it? You just have to remember that this is a tiny tiny phase of your life. In a few more weeks you won't have a newborn and this will become a fond memory...

Quoted

feel like I'm missing all her feeding 'cues' now.


Oh they change the cues all the time to confuse us..... :D Don't worry.... it's normal :D

Quoted

I don't want to give up BF, it doesn't feel right at the moment.


What Rivka said... one feed, one day at a time.... If you don't want to give up then don't. At the moment what feels 'wrong' is just a set of circumstances. See how you feel tomorrow.

Quoted

But I'm so tearful and feel pretty useless just now.


You may be tearful but you are CERTAINLY NOT useless. You just grew a person and although she's on the outside of you now, it's your body that's keeping her alive. That's a pretty awesome thing you're doing right there!!

Quoted

does it get easier ?

Yes ... promise...

Quoted

xxxxxxx



xxx





Bells

ADMINISTRATOR

    United Kingdom

Posts: 14,475

Thanks: 40 / 66

  • Send private message

8

Sunday, October 28th 2007, 8:05pm

Quoted

Originally posted by csam

I just don't know now when she's had enough, it seemed easier before. For E.g I fed her and she was still 'rooting' but seemed too tired/uncomfortable to feed, so I rubbed her tummy and she was sick - my fault I guess ?

I'm dreading tonight, Dh is back at work tomorrow.

xxxxxxx


She's using you as a dummy. She's enjoying sucking but the side effect is that milk keeps coming and coming and coming. The result is that it has nowhere to go and she's sick. Don't worry about her choking, it's not like when we're sick... it's just a very simple case of her tummy not having the capacity to hold the amount of milk she's taken.





csam

Star

  • "csam" started this thread
  • United Kingdom

Posts: 1,520

  • Send private message

9

Sunday, October 28th 2007, 8:18pm

Thanks Bells

I think because I initially worried that she wasn't getting enough, now when she has 10 minutes I think - she's got to have 20 mins more. When maybe that 10 mins is enough. I can't quite work out when she is comfort feeding, but I have noticed her doing it, if that makes sense. I just don't know at what point to stop her.

This will sound odd but I think as I had a few probs when PG, about her size, my size etc etc ( sure you remember all my threads Bells :rolleyes:), and then she came along 3 weeks early and had a few health scares, I feel a bit overwhelmed by it all. Mad as she's all i ever wanted (and more) and i had 9 months to prepare, yet I feel woefully inadequate and completely unprepared.

Yes, it really does feel like all I've done is feed her, change her, etc etc

Fingers crossed for a better night.

xxxxx

Bells

ADMINISTRATOR

    United Kingdom

Posts: 14,475

Thanks: 40 / 66

  • Send private message

10

Sunday, October 28th 2007, 8:27pm

I think a lot of people feel totally overwhelmed. Pregnancy is like the quiet before a storm isn't it? Baby arrives and there's no period of adjustment just 'wham!!' there's your baby... sorry there are no instructions... now go away and figure it all out while you recover from birth, deal with your hormones and try to get on with life!!

Being a Mum is hard hard work. It wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't for the lack of sleep ... but even if you didn't breastfeed you would no doubt have another set of problems to deal with. Bottles and formula milk bring wind, colic and constipation and those Mums are just as fraught as you are now.....

Having a little baby is just hard... but it really does get better. As she grows a bit and finds herself she will go longer between feeds and she'll begin to give you more back in the way of smiles and appreciation.





Posts: 2,291

Reg: Sep 27th 2005

Location: UK

  • Send private message

11

Sunday, October 28th 2007, 8:54pm

Quoted

Originally posted by csam
I think because I initially worried that she wasn't getting enough, now when she has 10 minutes I think - she's got to have 20 mins more. When maybe that 10 mins is enough. I can't quite work out when she is comfort feeding, but I have noticed her doing it, if that makes sense. I just don't know at what point to stop her.


Even at 3 weeks old, she's going to be a more efficient feeder than when she was 3 days old and will get more milk out in 10 mins than before. My DS was capable of taking a whole feed in not much more than 10 minutes, so if she comes off the breast and isn't rooting any more, and seems ok, then leave it at that.

If she is comfort feeding and you want to keep doing that for a few minutes at the end of the feed, then if your breast is nearly empty of milk, just keep her on that side as she'll suck and only get little drops off. If you swap sides, she'll get loads of watery milk which will be too much for her. Don't let her suck for ages on an *empty* breast, even if she likes it, because it will make you sore!

Keep at it one day at a time, as you say. You'll soon find you've done another week and another week, and it will get easier. You can still blame your hormones, you know, for how you feel right now!

:hugs:
Had a total of three fresh IVF cycles and three frozen transfers (embryos and blastocysts)
m/c @ 11 weeks in 2007 DS1 and DS2 born from fresh IVF cycles :D
:D

Posts: 2,291

Reg: Sep 27th 2005

Location: UK

  • Send private message

12

Sunday, October 28th 2007, 8:57pm

Quoted

Originally posted by csam
Part of the problem is (esp during the night), is that sometimes she'll feed and we'll put her down, she'll settle for a bit but will then 'fuss' like crazy, panting, arm and legs flailing(sp), huffing and puffing.


Have you tried swaddling? This is absolutely fantastic for quite a lot of newborns, esp those who flail their arms and legs around enough to wake themselves up and then disturb themselves. DS2 was hitting himself in the face with his fists by the time he was two days old, so we swaddled him and his nights/sleeping were completely transformed.

Have you tried it? Let me know if you need more details on how to do it.
Had a total of three fresh IVF cycles and three frozen transfers (embryos and blastocysts)
m/c @ 11 weeks in 2007 DS1 and DS2 born from fresh IVF cycles :D
:D

Rivka

MEMBER

Posts: 3,627

Reg: Oct 11th 2005

Location: Yorkshire

  • Send private message

13

Sunday, October 28th 2007, 9:36pm

what is the sick like? Just a little blup or is it at all projectile?







KIRSTY G

MEMBER

Posts: 2,910

Reg: Sep 27th 2006

Location: Leeds

Children: 7 year old little man, and B/G twins

  • Send private message

14

Monday, October 29th 2007, 3:05pm

Quoted

Originally posted by Limpet


Have you tried swaddling? This is absolutely fantastic for quite a lot of newborns, esp those who flail their arms and legs around enough to wake themselves up and then disturb themselves. DS2 was hitting himself in the face with his fists by the time he was two days old, so we swaddled him and his nights/sleeping were completely transformed.

Have you tried it? Let me know if you need more details on how to do it.


Snap, ours are still swadled now, and sleep really well




csam

Star

  • "csam" started this thread
  • United Kingdom

Posts: 1,520

  • Send private message

15

Monday, October 29th 2007, 3:28pm

Hi

Thanks for your recent replies, have my mum here just now, so will read properly and reply later !

xxxx

compley

Megastar

Posts: 6,056

Reg: Apr 30th 2006

Children: DS and DD

  • Send private message

16

Monday, October 29th 2007, 5:15pm

Csam, I'm so new to all this too, so haven't got much advice, but the fact your little girl is gaining weight shows you are doing good!

The advice everyone has given on here is really good, and don't want to hijack your thread, but its' really helped me too!....after a night with lots of feeding and settling, I feel a bit like I am feeding constantly, and though I really want to bf, it isn't easy to start with!

I remember my mw saying at antenatal classes how tough the first few weeks can be until it's established, and she said when she had her children, she found it tough, but did the ' one day at a time' thought process too!....Each morning, the night doesn't seem quite as bad as when I am actually doing it, and I feel ready for another day!...think the sleep deprivation plays a huge part!...and the hormones!

You sound really determined, and I feel like you, really want to get to grips with bf, but reading what has been written here, that it does get easier etc, all helps to spur me on!



<

csam

Star

  • "csam" started this thread
  • United Kingdom

Posts: 1,520

  • Send private message

17

Monday, October 29th 2007, 5:22pm

Quoted

Originally posted by Rivka
what is the sick like? Just a little blup or is it at all projectile?


Hi Rivka

I wouldn't say it's projectile, we are just sat holding her and all of a sudden it's like "oh she's just been sick", she was sick again today.Don't think she had fed excessively:
13 mins at 06.30 ish
5 mins at 08.40
14 mins at 09.21 - then sick ?( ?(

She was fine after that and fed again at 11.20 ish

xxxxxxxx

csam

Star

  • "csam" started this thread
  • United Kingdom

Posts: 1,520

  • Send private message

18

Monday, October 29th 2007, 5:24pm

Quoted

Originally posted by Limpet

Quoted

Originally posted by csam
Part of the problem is (esp during the night), is that sometimes she'll feed and we'll put her down, she'll settle for a bit but will then 'fuss' like crazy, panting, arm and legs flailing(sp), huffing and puffing.


Have you tried swaddling? This is absolutely fantastic for quite a lot of newborns, esp those who flail their arms and legs around enough to wake themselves up and then disturb themselves. DS2 was hitting himself in the face with his fists by the time he was two days old, so we swaddled him and his nights/sleeping were completely transformed.

Have you tried it? Let me know if you need more details on how to do it.


Hi

M never keeps her hands in her blankets ! We 'wedge' then in and within a short time she's got them out again, so I don't know if that means she doesn't like being resticted, in which case would swaddling work ? Or the flip side, when she is fussing would it help as it would be one less thing to 'fuss' ? Would like some info tho if that's ok. Have heard it can be settling and it's obviously working for Kirsty's 2

xxxx

csam

Star

  • "csam" started this thread
  • United Kingdom

Posts: 1,520

  • Send private message

19

Monday, October 29th 2007, 5:33pm

Hi Laura

It seems so 'easy' for the first couple of weeks, I guess coz she was a little early and small, she fed - without a fuss, went to sleep without a fuss etc nothing bothered her, not even having to strip off in the early hours of the morning because she's got poo and wee over herself during a nappy change !!

I guess now she's found her feet a bit, and like was said earlier when you are constantly sleep deprived nothing seems rational !

I am determined, I could probably easily convince myself to give her bottles of EBM or formula, but I read through some of the bottle feed threads and got a bit upset (again !!), thinking it's not what I want for her :sadface:

I'm still struggling with when I hold her she seems to want to feed. Had I been on my own today I would have been convinced she needed feeding, I asked my mum to hold while I got myself sorted and she fell asleep !

Truly on my own tomorrow - eek :8o: so hoping we both get through the day ok !

Good luck to you Laura, I often wonder how you are getting on because Little H was a bit small, and early. Nice to hear from you.

xxxxxx

This post has been edited 1 times, last edit by "csam" (Oct 29th 2007, 5:35pm)


Posts: 2,291

Reg: Sep 27th 2005

Location: UK

  • Send private message

20

Monday, October 29th 2007, 5:33pm

How tightly are you swaddling, and what sort of blanket are you using? It must be a cellular blanket, ie a very stretchy one. You need to swaddle the whole arm, not just the hands, because they can get out of all sorts of half-hearted swaddles.

Make the blanket into a triangle by folding it in half across a diagonal. Place your baby such that the long folded edge is up by her shoulders. Now, bring the left side of the triangle over her left arm and her whole body, and tuck it in under the right side of her body. Make sure you stretch the blanket as you tuck it in so that it's firm. The tuck-in should be the whole of the piece you've pulled across so that there's no way she can get her left arm out. The top of the blanket should be just over the corner of her shoulder, not halfway down her upper arms (but not right up to her neck either). Repeat with the right side, tucking it under her left side just as firmly. When you put her in her cot, make sure the whole of the loose piece of blanket is completely under her body, stretched firm.

Both of mine found instant comfort this way. It looks very restricting but lots of newborns genuinely love it (maybe because the womb was so restricting). Even with all the firm tucking, mine got their arms out by 2 months, so it was clear that by then, they didn't need it, but it's invaluable for the first few weeks if they like it. Definitely give it a try, but you must use a stretchy blanket and you must stretch it when putting her in the swaddle (there have I said that enough!!) What do you think?
Had a total of three fresh IVF cycles and three frozen transfers (embryos and blastocysts)
m/c @ 11 weeks in 2007 DS1 and DS2 born from fresh IVF cycles :D
:D

csam

Star

  • "csam" started this thread
  • United Kingdom

Posts: 1,520

  • Send private message

21

Monday, October 29th 2007, 5:41pm

Hi Limpet

That was quick !

Didn't make myself that clear, we haven't tried swaddling yet. When we tuck her in we always tuck her hands in, but she quickly gets them out ! It's all worth a try. Just want her happy little self back.

Think we have a big wind problem which isn't helping. She just can not/will not burp. DH has 2 children so has experience unlike me but we can't get any burps out. clearly she has problems, she does get it out the other end, but i think it's troubling her :sadface: :sadface:

xxxx

compley

Megastar

Posts: 6,056

Reg: Apr 30th 2006

Children: DS and DD

  • Send private message

22

Monday, October 29th 2007, 5:45pm

Quoted

Originally posted by csam
Hi Laura


I'm still struggling with when I hold her she seems to want to feed. Had I been on my own today I would have been convinced she needed feeding, I asked my mum to hold while I got myself sorted and she fell asleep !

Truly on my own tomorrow - eek :8o: so hoping we both get through the day ok !

Good luck to you Laura, I often wonder how you are getting on because Little H was a bit small, and early. Nice to hear from you.

xxxxxx


Know what you mean! If I hold H he seems to want a feed, cos he can smell the milk, hand him to dh or relative/friend, and he settles!!!!....we joke and say he thinks its a 24 hour buffet, eat as much as you like when you like!!!...and when he is with me he thinks 'well since the food is here on tap, why not?!!!!'.....so I do try and find some humour in it all!!!...it's difficult sometimes knowing if he really wants to feed or not! And also sort of feel I should go with him at mo, and feed him when he wants, to help him grow, and also to get the bf established!

Know what you mean about being on your own as well! I'm starting to fret a bit about that! Dh is out sat night, wetting baby's head, and he is going to stay at a friend's house, and I'm panicking a bit1 but then I think I looked after him, and settled him each night in hospital without dh, so I can do it!..Will be thinking of you tomorrow :hugs:

Thanks for thinking of me, thats really kind! It is a bit worrying with a smaller baby as you are so worried about their weight etc, and I've become a bit 'fixed' on making sure he has enough feeds, takes good feeds etc, and when he is weighed I feel so nervous!....I also go through things like 'he is content when he has been settled, he is having wet and pooy nappies' and this helps me to think 'yeah these are all good signs!!!'

Take care, and it's great we all have each other on here to chat to, makes us all feel we aren't alone, and we are all experiencing the same/similar worries!

xxxx



<

This post has been edited 3 times, last edit by "compley" (Oct 29th 2007, 5:48pm)


Posts: 2,291

Reg: Sep 27th 2005

Location: UK

  • Send private message

23

Monday, October 29th 2007, 6:47pm

Hi Csam

Tucking hands just into the sheets/blankets will only last a few seconds - they'll pop out in no time! Think about swaddling anyway.

Sorry about the wind - that might be why she is possetting quite a bit - if she can't get the wind up, the possetts come up too. Both of mine possetted several times a day for months. That's not meant to worry you because it always looks as though more is coming up than actually is. All you have to do is "wear" a muslin on your shoulder all day!
Had a total of three fresh IVF cycles and three frozen transfers (embryos and blastocysts)
m/c @ 11 weeks in 2007 DS1 and DS2 born from fresh IVF cycles :D
:D

csam

Star

  • "csam" started this thread
  • United Kingdom

Posts: 1,520

  • Send private message

24

Monday, October 29th 2007, 7:57pm

Quoted

Originally posted by csam

13 mins at 06.30 ish
5 mins at 08.40
14 mins at 09.21 - then sick ?( ?(

She was fine after that and fed again at 11.20 ish

xxxxxxxx


21 mins between 13.20 and 14.10
19 mins at 16.20
16 mins at 18.20
8 minutes at 19.30 - then sick ?( ?(

Just lost how to do 'demand feeding'

Any tips, should I try and 'make' her feed every 3 hours ? can't imagine thats possible really as I only 'dragged' it out to 2 hours earlier because DH distracted her. He's not here all day.

Sorry, feel a complete pest asking all this advice. the 'easy' option isn't put her on bottles, so I need to get this sorted and feel I am having to learn all over again.

xxxxx

Posts: 2,934

Reg: Oct 10th 2005

Location: Wales

  • Send private message

25

Monday, October 29th 2007, 8:39pm

HUn
Not got a chance to read through the replies. Wanted to let you know we had a few occasions in hospita when Alex was crying and holding his breath until he went bright purple. We had to blow on his face to make him come to..they were a bit concerned he was doing this far too early for it to be normal. He stopped doing that at about 3 weeks and hasn't since.
It's prefectly normal for babies to sick a little after a feed, Alex does it when he gets a pocket of wind with milk on top. It's usually just a mouthful
You're doing a great job hun. No sure what the other ladies think but expressing might be an idea for Dh to feed her for you to rest..might be worth a go

Caz x


Me 39, DH 39 ICSI Nov '06 BFP

FET Dec '10 - ET Dec 16th - Test Day 31/12/10





Posts: 1,805

Reg: Oct 7th 2005

Location: x

  • Send private message

26

Tuesday, October 30th 2007, 2:30am

DS#2 *still* sicks up after a feed

ok - perhaps you are misreading her cues - maybe she is tired rather than hungry? I had this problem with #1 for about 3 months before I got it sussed! It's a first baby thing :rolleyes:

But #2 came early and fed every 2 hours for about 6-8 weeks until he was just beyond his "proper" newborn date.

Does she sleep at all between feeds?

I would change the nappy, feed, play with #2 for 10-15 minutes (play being just chatting and cuddling) and then he would scream so I would go to a quiet room (away from #1) and just cuddle him until he quietened down & fell asleep.

Now - as for the choking spluttering - you may well have OALD = over active let down, and I suspect this because you mention the spluttering and the sicking and also that DD is only 3 weeks.

you milk has come in nice and strong - I bet you can squirt milk if DD pulls away at the beginning of the feed?

so, what you have to do is help her cope with the strong flow = work against gravity so you arent power-jetting the milk to the back of her throat. try feeding either lying down, or leaning backwards, and hold her at a slight angle so her head is higher than her belly.

if you feel really engorged then try pumping for no more than two minutes just to release the pressure a little bit and ease the nipple out so she can get a good latch.

or try wearing breast-shells (shells not shields - do a search & have a look for them - Avent ones are great) which do the same as the pumping thing above (you'll be amazed at the milk production collected!) but feel more uncomfortable to wear but are instant (ie you dont have to hear a baby, try & pump & then go feed - you just take the shells off & feed).

hope this helps? sorry if disjointed - #1 running around screaming #2 in arms screaming..... joy joy

csam

Star

  • "csam" started this thread
  • United Kingdom

Posts: 1,520

  • Send private message

27

Tuesday, October 30th 2007, 3:19pm

Quoted

Originally posted by cazzmo
No sure what the other ladies think but expressing might be an idea for Dh to feed her for you to rest..might be worth a go

Caz x


have been thinking this too. wasn't sure if I had to wait 6 weeks ? Really don't want to give up, esp if it does get easier ! That would be mad, have all the difficult bits and not the 'enjoyable' bit.

I am really unhappy tho, not because I don't want to feed her but just because I lack the confidence to know how to feed her right and I feel less equipped now then when she was born !
I want to enjoy every minute I spend with her and not keep looking at the clock to see how long she's had and how long she 'needs' to go before the next feed. I just want to get it right.

xxxx

csam

Star

  • "csam" started this thread
  • United Kingdom

Posts: 1,520

  • Send private message

28

Tuesday, October 30th 2007, 3:31pm

Quoted

Originally posted by Sunshine
DS#2 *still* sicks up after a feed

ok - perhaps you are misreading her cues - maybe she is tired rather than hungry? I had this problem with #1 for about 3 months before I got it sussed! It's a first baby thing :rolleyes:

But #2 came early and fed every 2 hours for about 6-8 weeks until he was just beyond his "proper" newborn date.

Does she sleep at all between feeds?

I would change the nappy, feed, play with #2 for 10-15 minutes (play being just chatting and cuddling) and then he would scream so I would go to a quiet room (away from #1) and just cuddle him until he quietened down & fell asleep.

Now - as for the choking spluttering - you may well have OALD = over active let down, and I suspect this because you mention the spluttering and the sicking and also that DD is only 3 weeks.

you milk has come in nice and strong - I bet you can squirt milk if DD pulls away at the beginning of the feed?

so, what you have to do is help her cope with the strong flow = work against gravity so you arent power-jetting the milk to the back of her throat. try feeding either lying down, or leaning backwards, and hold her at a slight angle so her head is higher than her belly.

if you feel really engorged then try pumping for no more than two minutes just to release the pressure a little bit and ease the nipple out so she can get a good latch.

or try wearing breast-shells (shells not shields - do a search & have a look for them - Avent ones are great) which do the same as the pumping thing above (you'll be amazed at the milk production collected!) but feel more uncomfortable to wear but are instant (ie you dont have to hear a baby, try & pump & then go feed - you just take the shells off & feed).

hope this helps? sorry if disjointed - #1 running around screaming #2 in arms screaming..... joy joy


Thanks for taking the time to reply............
no engorgement but sometimes the flow seems very quick for her,trying to keep her head higher. Not only is the latch difficult sometimes, nipple seems so 'sloppy' and she struggles keeping it in but when it's jetting out it's overwhelming her.

On my own today and just couldn't get her to stop crying, she'd fed an hour and a bit before, but at a loss at what to do so tried to feed her again, she fed for a minute and then calmed down so put her on her baby gym. I don't think putting her on her gym first would have worked tho ?(

She does sleep between feeds but always seems fretful, just can't get her to burp. trying infacol so see how we go. Her getting it out the bottom end seems to trouble her quite often.

Not even sure now that I'm feeding her enough now, maybe she'd go a bit longer if she had more but then on the flip side, if she has too much and is sick it completely throughs out any vague pattern we have, as I then don't know when to feed her. It took 2 hours to settle her last night. DH has a 14 hour shift tomorrow and his other 2 children staying tonight, so fun and games in our house :headache

will google breast shells, I think maybe giving a bottle of EBM may take the 'edge' of how I'm feeling just now.

Thanks

xxxx

Posts: 830

Reg: Sep 13th 2006

Location: Hastings

Children: One daughter

  • Send private message

29

Tuesday, October 30th 2007, 3:59pm

Quoted

Originally posted by csam

Quoted

Originally posted by cazzmo
No sure what the other ladies think but expressing might be an idea for Dh to feed her for you to rest..might be worth a go

Caz x


have been thinking this too. wasn't sure if I had to wait 6 weeks ? Really don't want to give up, esp if it does get easier ! That would be mad, have all the difficult bits and not the 'enjoyable' bit.

I am really unhappy tho, not because I don't want to feed her but just because I lack the confidence to know how to feed her right and I feel less equipped now then when she was born !
I want to enjoy every minute I spend with her and not keep looking at the clock to see how long she's had and how long she 'needs' to go before the next feed. I just want to get it right.

xxxx


has your midwife given you information on local breastfeeding counsellors? there should be someone who could come round and see you and help build your confidence and technique. it really helps. when i had an issue early on i called mine and she was fantastic.

big hug to you honey because it sounds like you are v tired and having a tough time.

xxxx
MC 1997, Ectopic 2006, Tubal infertility, 1st IVF :BFP: [zx098]


csam

Star

  • "csam" started this thread
  • United Kingdom

Posts: 1,520

  • Send private message

30

Tuesday, October 30th 2007, 4:10pm

Quoted

Originally posted by Emilia44

Quoted

Originally posted by csam

Quoted

Originally posted by cazzmo
No sure what the other ladies think but expressing might be an idea for Dh to feed her for you to rest..might be worth a go

Caz x



xxxx


has your midwife given you information on local breastfeeding counsellors? there should be someone who could come round and see you and help build your confidence and technique. it really helps. when i had an issue early on i called mine and she was fantastic.

big hug to you honey because it sounds like you are v tired and having a tough time.

xxxx


Nope ! Tried Google but couldn't find any local info :sadface:
Not getting any sleep during the day, so it doesn't help does it !

xxxxx

This post has been edited 1 times, last edit by "csam" (Oct 30th 2007, 4:11pm)


Posts: 830

Reg: Sep 13th 2006

Location: Hastings

Children: One daughter

  • Send private message

31

Tuesday, October 30th 2007, 4:12pm

hmmmmm - that's not good. Try your local nct or the leleche (sp?) league. There should be local support. Can your HV put you in touch with someone?
MC 1997, Ectopic 2006, Tubal infertility, 1st IVF :BFP: [zx098]


csam

Star

  • "csam" started this thread
  • United Kingdom

Posts: 1,520

  • Send private message

32

Tuesday, October 30th 2007, 4:14pm

Quoted

Originally posted by Emilia44
hmmmmm - that's not good. Try your local nct or the leleche (sp?) league. There should be local support. Can your HV put you in touch with someone?


Tried La leche, no joy. M is getting weighed on Thursday so will ask the HV then. It's at a different clinic to mine so perhaps they'll be more helpful.

xxxx

Posts: 830

Reg: Sep 13th 2006

Location: Hastings

Children: One daughter

  • Send private message

33

Tuesday, October 30th 2007, 4:18pm

what area do you live in hun? I'll ask mine if there's anyone that could help. Its so important to get support. I think you are doing a great job but you need to hear that from a pro.
:hugs:
MC 1997, Ectopic 2006, Tubal infertility, 1st IVF :BFP: [zx098]


Posts: 2,291

Reg: Sep 27th 2005

Location: UK

  • Send private message

34

Tuesday, October 30th 2007, 4:20pm

Here's the number for the NCT:

The NCT Breastfeeding Line is open 8am-10pm every day, with trained breastfeeding counsellors who will listen and help: 0870 444 8708.

All the counsellors have breastfed children themselves and feel strongly enough about it to give up their own time to help others, either over the phone, or, if they live close enough, some will come and see you too.

My hospital had a breastfeeding clinic which you could drop into whenever you wanted (one morning a week). My HV told me about that, and it could help if you want someone to watch and advise.

I called the NCT line once too myself in the early weeks, and it was sooooo reassuring to speak to them - they were great. Please call them.
Had a total of three fresh IVF cycles and three frozen transfers (embryos and blastocysts)
m/c @ 11 weeks in 2007 DS1 and DS2 born from fresh IVF cycles :D
:D

Posts: 830

Reg: Sep 13th 2006

Location: Hastings

Children: One daughter

  • Send private message

35

Tuesday, October 30th 2007, 4:21pm

TRY THESE HUN>
xxxx


The National Childbirth Trust (NCT)

Breastfeeding Line: 0870 444 8708 8am to 10pm every day

There are always breastfeeding counsellors available on this Line. NCT breastfeeding counsellors are all mothers who have breastfed and have been trained by the NCT. They have learned to listen carefully, understanding your point of view. They won't tell you what to do.

In most breastfeeding situations, they can give research-based information. They can talk through with you what's important for you.

The NCT breastfeeding counselling service is run from people's homes. You should be able to reach a breastfeeding counsellor between 8am and 10pm seven days a week, and there is an answering machine for calls at night. You will be put through to a local counsellor where possible. Counsellors may be able to visit you — or invite you to visit them — but this is not always possible.


La Leche League
0845 120 2918 gives you a local number for breastfeeding support


Breastfeeding Network Supporterline
0870 900 8787 will put you in touch with a supporter 9:30am-9:30pm.

Association of Breastfeeding Mothers
0870 401 7711 for breastfeeding support or to find a local group.
MC 1997, Ectopic 2006, Tubal infertility, 1st IVF :BFP: [zx098]

This post has been edited 1 times, last edit by "Emilia44" (Oct 30th 2007, 4:23pm)


Posts: 830

Reg: Sep 13th 2006

Location: Hastings

Children: One daughter

  • Send private message

36

Tuesday, October 30th 2007, 4:23pm

Limpet - great minds eh?
xx
MC 1997, Ectopic 2006, Tubal infertility, 1st IVF :BFP: [zx098]


csam

Star

  • "csam" started this thread
  • United Kingdom

Posts: 1,520

  • Send private message

37

Wednesday, October 31st 2007, 7:38pm

Have had a better couple of days.

Have been giving M infacol but not seen the effects yet ! Next to try will be a dummy to try and settle her, still think wind is a big problem.

Not cried today ! Really want to carry on BF, I owe it to her. DH has the next 4 days off so things will be a little easier with support, and then I'll have BF for a month !

Would like to think about expressing a bottle a day tho.

Interestingly tho, M is now only feeding between 10-17 minutes, so not sure what that means (if anything), she only had a short period of feeding longer.

Weigh in tomorrow !


xxxxx

compley

Megastar

Posts: 6,056

Reg: Apr 30th 2006

Children: DS and DD

  • Send private message

38

Thursday, November 1st 2007, 1:11pm

Csam, you've done fab! You've almost been bfing a month, you are doing so well! Maybe the longer feeding periods were when M was having a growth spurt? hope getting weighed goes ok today!

xxx



<

csam

Star

  • "csam" started this thread
  • United Kingdom

Posts: 1,520

  • Send private message

39

Thursday, November 1st 2007, 1:38pm

Thanks Laura

'little' M has put on 10 ounces in 8 days :shocked: she is now 6,15 1/2 oz

So I guess we must be doing ok ?

xxx

compley

Megastar

Posts: 6,056

Reg: Apr 30th 2006

Children: DS and DD

  • Send private message

40

Thursday, November 1st 2007, 1:52pm

Csam, that is fab happydance bet you are so chuffed!!!!...shows what a brill job you are doing with your little girl!...it's such a great feeling when your baby is putting on weight, it really helps you to know 'yes I am doing well, things are going ok!!'

Has it helped you to feel better about things?



<

csam

Star

  • "csam" started this thread
  • United Kingdom

Posts: 1,520

  • Send private message

41

Thursday, November 1st 2007, 2:17pm

Quoted

Originally posted by compley

Has it helped you to feel better about things?


Yes, I think so ! I suppose I am quite a 'routine' person, so now I have this little person who doesn't follow a schedule and It's hard ! I still think bottle feeding is hard work, so it doesn't seem worth switching to bottles when she's doing well on BF,and it's better for her which is an incentive. Maybe I'm being too hard on myself. She had a few 'sick' episodes and I took it a bit personally IYKWIM !!

xxxxx

This post has been edited 1 times, last edit by "csam" (Nov 1st 2007, 2:18pm)


compley

Megastar

Posts: 6,056

Reg: Apr 30th 2006

Children: DS and DD

  • Send private message

42

Thursday, November 1st 2007, 4:29pm

I like my rouitne too, so completely get where you are coming from with being 'thrown' by this tiny person who changes their pattern daily!!!!...I spent quite alot of time during my pg mentally preparing mysle for the fact that for the 1st time in a long time, my routine, and planning and 'to do lists' would all be completely thrown!!!!!!!!

try not to be hard on yourself, today has shown how well you are both doing. H is sick sometimes after his feeds, it's not very nice, but it really can be quite common for babies to be a little sick after some of their feeds.



<

Bells

ADMINISTRATOR

    United Kingdom

Posts: 14,475

Thanks: 40 / 66

  • Send private message

43

Thursday, November 1st 2007, 4:43pm

10 ounces???? :shocked:

Goodness me.... that's EXCELLENT!!

Very well done for sticking at it, despite your own fears and doubts you obviously 'are' doing a really good job of feeding her. Please trust yourself a little more now... you're DOING it and you're DOING IT RIGHT.

thumbup








FERTILITYZONE



MEDHURST – PROUD HOSTS OF FERTILITYZONE