You are not logged in.


Unread posts

Dear visitor, welcome to FertilityZone . If this is your first visit here, please read the Help. It explains in detail how this page works. To use all features of this page, you should consider registering. Please use the registration form, to register here or read more information about the registration process. If you are already registered, please login here.

  • "Primrose" started this thread

Posts: 1,388

Reg: Oct 3rd 2005

Location: Primrose House

  • Send private message

1

Monday, April 24th 2006, 12:21pm

Going Public

I'm getting a bit brassed off of trying to time feeding and then when I'm out allways looking for the mother and baby rooms. It also annoys me that if I'm out for the day or even lunch I end up leaving my partner for 20 odd minutes - not very sociable. I just wondered about everyone elses experience of bf in public.

Do you just do it without asking in cafes/restaurants? Have you brought any special tops or have you got any tips on how to do it discreatly?

People have suggested feeding expressed milk whilst out but I'd rather save that for when I leave Jessica with DH for a night out ;) Sometimes it feels like bf is something to be ashamed of; TBH I can feel the stirings of a rebellion comming on! Honestly they say on one hand 'breast is best' and then you get directed towards the loo to go and di it, as if it is something dirty. Doctors surgeries and hospitals are the worse too! X( grrhhh!!!


This post has been edited 1 times, last edit by "Primrose" (Apr 24th 2006, 12:22pm)


Posts: 2,792

Reg: Oct 1st 2005

Location: Wherever i lay my hat

  • Send private message

2

Monday, April 24th 2006, 12:24pm

I saw a woman bf at our local shopping mall, she just had a blanket wrapped aroung her and baby...very discreet!!

Just do it.....it is natural after all!! I never did as i would have had to have both boobs out..lol!!
Mum of 3 year old twins.
Had ICSI worked first time


Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what your gonna get!!



  • "Primrose" started this thread

Posts: 1,388

Reg: Oct 3rd 2005

Location: Primrose House

  • Send private message

3

Monday, April 24th 2006, 12:27pm

LOL that would take some doing Clare! makes me think I shouldn't really worry with just the one!



Rivka

MEMBER

Posts: 3,627

Reg: Oct 11th 2005

Location: Yorkshire

  • Send private message

4

Monday, April 24th 2006, 12:37pm

i think its shocking that anyone would be expected to have their dinner in a toilet! Have you really been frowned upon by hospitals and Docs for breast feeding? what possible reasoning can they have for that sort of attitude?







Missy

Superstar

Posts: 4,415

Reg: Oct 3rd 2005

  • Send private message

5

Monday, April 24th 2006, 12:49pm

I find that having to feed in the loo is quite absurd! Would they eat their dinner i nthere?? 8o

xxx








4 baby angels, forever in our hearts




* CLICK *
TO SUPPORT FZ!

Bells

ADMINISTRATOR

    United Kingdom

Posts: 14,475

Thanks: 40 / 66

  • Send private message

6

Monday, April 24th 2006, 1:26pm

When my first baby was small we went to the Trafford Centre for something to eat. Just as our food arrived the baby woke up and wanted a feed. I asked where I could feed and was told that the feeding room was downstairs or I could take her in the loo. So off I toddled to the loo and balanced on the loo seat while my dinner was going cold in the restaurant.

That was the first and last time I fed her somewhere that wasn't convenient to me or her.

Since then I fed wherever I wanted to (within reason). I always found somewhere private and didn't make a big deal of the whole thing. By private I mean we would choose to sit in the corner in a restaurant or I would sit with my back to other people.

I found that wearing a jacket of some description helps with privacy. I would undo my bra by putting my hand down the neck of my T Shirt then put my hand up my top and pull my bra down. Then hold baby like I was cuddling her and slip her head inside the front of my jacket. Then it was a quick manouvre to lift my T shirt up 'just' enough to allow her to latch on and then I let go of the T shirt and depending on the fabric of the top I was wearing it rest on the side of her head or bunch up over her cheeks. Wearing a jacket means that no one sees that your top is up from behind and you have some coverage around the side and front too. I only wore a little denim jacket too, it doesn't have to be a big coat.

If she was being awkward I did what I just said but I slung a blanket over my shoulder too so that it hung down over the baby and the boob I was using. This gives you a bit of room to fiddle about under the blanket without being on show and allows for when baby unlatches themselves without any warning.. I've seen some women with funky scarves/pashminas doing a similar thing.

There will always be times when baby is crying or messing about, people are staring and you're having a hot sweat trying to get her on the boob but you can prepare by having a blanket to hand (a light cellular one or something) and choosing your seats carefully of you're out, just in case she wants an impromptu feed.





mrsjasper

Megastar

Posts: 8,532

Reg: Nov 2nd 2005

Location: Lancashire

Children: 2 gorgeous girls

Thanks: 15 / 4

  • Send private message

7

Monday, April 24th 2006, 2:12pm

I would love some tips on how to make our surgery more friendly for breastfeeding. We only have small premises and are due to move to a new purpose built place where we can have a special mother and baby room, but I really want to encourage mums to feel comfortable breastfeeding here. There isn't always a spare room available at the moment and you certainly wouldn't want to feed a baby in the toilet (nor should you). I would love some advice from those who have or still are breast feeding about what they found helpful.





Bells

ADMINISTRATOR

    United Kingdom

Posts: 14,475

Thanks: 40 / 66

  • Send private message

8

Monday, April 24th 2006, 2:23pm

Having visited practically every M&B room in the North West :D I'd be pleased with a warm room with pleasant decor. Lowish comfy chairs, some with arms, some without a sink and a mirror (to check that boobs are equal and no leaks on tops ;) ).

I don't like the combined feeding and changing rooms, they get smelly and it can be off-putting.

Ideally somewhere to get a drink of water would be 'wonderful'.

AND... plenty of nice pics, posters and things to read on the walls. It's really, really boring sitting in a blank room for 20 minutes.

:)





mrsjasper

Megastar

Posts: 8,532

Reg: Nov 2nd 2005

Location: Lancashire

Children: 2 gorgeous girls

Thanks: 15 / 4

  • Send private message

9

Monday, April 24th 2006, 2:32pm

Thanks Bells, I'll bear that in mind for the new building. At the moment you get the waiting room which has a combination of normal plastic chairs and kiddies plastic chairs. No sink or mirror. But its not boring, oh no, theres usually someone to talk to and occasionally its someone whos a bit mad (and you probably wouldn't want to get your boobs out in fromt of them anyway), theres loads of stuff on the walls about all sorts of current health care issues and sometimes we remember to put the radio on. As for the smell, some days the man who doesn't wash could be in there, some days the community alcohol team are here and the patients all smell like a brewery!

Sorry Geogie, I seem to have stolen your thread.





  • "Primrose" started this thread

Posts: 1,388

Reg: Oct 3rd 2005

Location: Primrose House

  • Send private message

10

Monday, April 24th 2006, 8:40pm

Don't worry about it Mrs J - really no problem. Yes Bec, where I live they really do frown upon bf in surgeries etc! what a bunch of hypocrits! one woman was directed to the stairwell to feed and another was told to use the loos! Despite the fact there is nearly allways a consulting room free, its disgusting! Last time I was there Jessica was really hungry and making it known - at least I got bumped up the queue though :D

Your tips were great Bells - yes its the side bit thats the problem, never thought of wearing a jacket :rolleyes: durrh! but that would cure that one brilliantly! Jessie senses really quickly when I'm a bit tense and fusses about when I try to do it discreatly, she constantly bobbs on and off - suddenly I'll realise my nipple has been on show for god knows how long for the world to see, so much for being discreate LOL! I think I'll have a look out for a nice scarf to drape over her!

I totally agree re: not combining changing and feeding rooms too - theres nothing worse than sitting in a room with a stonking smell for half an hour! Baby's poos actually smell quite pleasant but when its an older child it stinks!



Posts: 2,291

Reg: Sep 27th 2005

Location: UK

  • Send private message

11

Monday, April 24th 2006, 9:47pm

I had a Canadian friend who used to put such a big blanket over that the entire baby disappeared from view!! That makes it look like a shameful activity which is sad.

I think it depends on who the audience is. Some places I would feel too uncomfortable, but in others, using the jacket method of Bells works well.
Had a total of three fresh IVF cycles and three frozen transfers (embryos and blastocysts)
m/c @ 11 weeks in 2007 DS1 and DS2 born from fresh IVF cycles :D
:D

Posts: 105

Reg: Oct 4th 2005

Location: UK

  • Send private message

12

Monday, April 24th 2006, 10:13pm

I have fed EVERYWHERE!! Even at the supermarket till when I had to.

Something I did when they were tiny and I was still getting the hang of things was put a muslin over my shoulder so that it draped down over baby's head a little and then people couldnt really see. I also found tops which I could pull DOWN better as I didnt want to get my tummy out to the world!

I have NEVER had ANYONE say a word and Ive fed three - sod it whip them out - you are much more likely to get looks of annoyance if baby is screaming!
x

Posts: 1,805

Reg: Oct 7th 2005

Location: x

  • Send private message

13

Tuesday, April 25th 2006, 1:12am

I had a nightmare this weekend.

We went to Singapore which was great. However, on the return flight DS needed feeding - the air stewardesses (on Silk Air / Singapore Air) refused to allow me to breastfeed ;( I hadnt even started and asked if there was somewhere where I could be discrete and even though the back row of business class was empty she told me the other passengers wouldnt want me to feed so I couldnt. ;(

So in the end we had a baby screaming for 2 hours on the flight and a very upset & sore mummy :(

mrsjasper

Megastar

Posts: 8,532

Reg: Nov 2nd 2005

Location: Lancashire

Children: 2 gorgeous girls

Thanks: 15 / 4

  • Send private message

14

Tuesday, April 25th 2006, 7:30am

Quoted

Originally posted by Sunshine
I had a nightmare this weekend.

We went to Singapore which was great. However, on the return flight DS needed feeding - the air stewardesses (on Silk Air / Singapore Air) refused to allow me to breastfeed ;( I hadnt even started and asked if there was somewhere where I could be discrete and even though the back row of business class was empty she told me the other passengers wouldnt want me to feed so I couldnt. ;(

So in the end we had a baby screaming for 2 hours on the flight and a very upset & sore mummy :(


What a stupid cow.





Rose

Star

Posts: 1,247

Reg: Oct 12th 2005

Location: just here.......

Children: now have little boy!

  • Send private message

15

Tuesday, April 25th 2006, 8:16am

Sun thats digusting- i bet no-one else had to wait for their food eh?
Can you complain to the airline? Thats really not good enough.





Posts: 621

Reg: Oct 3rd 2005

Location: Wales

  • Send private message

16

Tuesday, April 25th 2006, 9:25am

Sun - I would definitely complain to the airline - actually I probably would have fed him anyway - what are they going to do - throw you off mid flight - I bet you felt like slapping her the silly cow
LR
Me 32, hypothyroid,
I have 2 beautiful boys 8 & 6, and one beautiful girl
1st ICSI - 15 eggs - Oct 05 - BFN
2nd ICSI - 22 eggs - egg sharer -Feb 2006 - BFN
I'm a single parent.





Bagpuss

Newbie

  • "Bagpuss" is no longer a member of FZ

Posts: 511

Reg: Sep 27th 2005

Location: in cloud cuckoo land

  • Send private message

17

Tuesday, April 25th 2006, 9:48am

Oh no Sun that's really not good enough.

I'd complain too, Mrs J is right if they had food for everyone else it's criminla to refuse your baby his food!!! I'm incensed but now I know to ask next time we book a flight what their policy on BF on the plane is X(

Bells

ADMINISTRATOR

    United Kingdom

Posts: 14,475

Thanks: 40 / 66

  • Send private message

18

Tuesday, April 25th 2006, 9:52am

Gawd Sun that's terrible.

You HAVE to contact the airline, if not for your own good then for the benefit of the next person who flies with a small baby. There is clearly a training need for the airline staff which needs addressing. There is absolutely no excuse for a member of staff to dictate that you are unable to feed or comfort your very young baby and to be honest I would tackle this like a terrier down a rabbit hole and I wouldn't give up until I had a letter of apology and their assurance that the members of staff involved had been re-trained.

I know you're a clever lady and I'm sure that you can compose a terrific letter pointing out just exactly how disgusting their behaviour has been but I also know that you're busy so if we can help you put something together then we will do.

I would've fed regardless in my seat and wouldn't have asked/mentioned it to anyone ...... but it's not always easy, especially if you've very self conscious or if your hubby isn't happy with you feeding in public.





  • "Primrose" started this thread

Posts: 1,388

Reg: Oct 3rd 2005

Location: Primrose House

  • Send private message

19

Tuesday, April 25th 2006, 10:12am

Oh god Sun that is my absolute worse nightmare - you poor thing, I bet every minute felt like agony. I agree with everyone else, I'd be going for someone's blood right now.

PP - PMSL! I think it is a general self consiousness about my body that I'm struggling with, I think if I was a trim size 10 I'd probably not worry so much - but I shall work on whipping them out, I'm feeling militant now!!!



Posts: 1,805

Reg: Oct 7th 2005

Location: x

  • Send private message

20

Tuesday, April 25th 2006, 11:53am

thing was, I was in the middle seat, hubby in aisle and a complete stranger right next to me - I wanted somewhere discrete so that this stranger wouldnt get an eyeful

Rivka

MEMBER

Posts: 3,627

Reg: Oct 11th 2005

Location: Yorkshire

  • Send private message

21

Tuesday, April 25th 2006, 2:15pm

thats understandable. I shouldn't beat yourself up about it at all. the airline have behaved outrageously thats for sure.







Bells

ADMINISTRATOR

    United Kingdom

Posts: 14,475

Thanks: 40 / 66

  • Send private message

22

Tuesday, April 25th 2006, 3:08pm

The address to write to with a complaint is....

Customer Relations
Singapore Airlines
Chiswick Park
Building 11
566 Chiswick High Road
london W4 5YS



It's understandable that you didn't feel comfortable about feeding next to a stranger, even if you had swapped seats with your hubby you would've been on full view. The only solution would be to sit in the toilet cubicle which could either be very smelly and uncomfortable for you or incredibly inconvenient to the other passengers. Either way wasn't particularly suitable whereas if the cabin crew had let you use a vacant seat your fellow passengers would have been spared the sound of a baby crying for two hours and they would have had a satisfied customer.

It absolutely appalling treatment Sunshine and I'm very mad on your behalf.





Chilli

Megastar

    United Kingdom

Posts: 7,771

Reg: Oct 3rd 2005

Thanks: 13 / 2

  • Send private message

23

Tuesday, April 25th 2006, 4:05pm

That is the most awful thing I have heard, sorry but b*****ks you are in a confined space with a small child, i am sure the other passengers would of preferred a quiet baby and a bit of boob than one that was screaming for two hours!

Posts: 1,805

Reg: Oct 7th 2005

Location: x

  • Send private message

24

Wednesday, April 26th 2006, 1:12am

Bells - thanks for the address - I've been looking for that!

mrsjasper

Megastar

Posts: 8,532

Reg: Nov 2nd 2005

Location: Lancashire

Children: 2 gorgeous girls

Thanks: 15 / 4

  • Send private message

25

Wednesday, April 26th 2006, 7:18am

Sun,
Please post your letter on here when you're ready to send it and their reply as well.





Posts: 366

Reg: Nov 14th 2005

Location: berkshire

  • Send private message

26

Wednesday, April 26th 2006, 10:09am

i cant believe what i have just read about that airline !!!!!

i would have been tempted to feed regardless - they cant chuck you off afterall ! - would they have wrestled you the ground & called the police to arrest you for BREAST FEEDING - imagine !

how can something so natural be so offending to some - who were prob breast fed anyway.






This post has been edited 1 times, last edit by "kizzy" (Apr 26th 2006, 1:44pm)


Posts: 1,805

Reg: Oct 7th 2005

Location: x

  • Send private message

27

Wednesday, April 26th 2006, 1:26pm

MrsJ - will do so when I get a reply.

  • "Primrose" started this thread

Posts: 1,388

Reg: Oct 3rd 2005

Location: Primrose House

  • Send private message

28

Wednesday, April 26th 2006, 7:24pm

Just wanted to say I fed in the wide open today in a PUBLIC AREA woohaayyy... oh and nobody noticed either but that could have been the tent that I'd errected around me LOL!



Bells

ADMINISTRATOR

    United Kingdom

Posts: 14,475

Thanks: 40 / 66

  • Send private message

29

Wednesday, April 26th 2006, 8:22pm

VERY well done Geogie :))

It does take a bit of practice but soon you'll have it done it one fluid movement and no one will notice what you're doing even if you're right in front of them.

I was once sat feeding my first baby in my living room while chatting to my in laws. They got up to go and my FIL came over and kissed the baby on her head, smiled, said goodbye and then a look of shock registered on his face because he hadn't realised that she was on my boob when he'd kissed her :D :D :D





  • "Primrose" started this thread

Posts: 1,388

Reg: Oct 3rd 2005

Location: Primrose House

  • Send private message

30

Wednesday, April 26th 2006, 8:57pm

PMSL that is so funny! :D thank god he didn't miss her head and get you instead!



Posts: 1,805

Reg: Oct 7th 2005

Location: x

  • Send private message

31

Thursday, April 27th 2006, 1:40am

lol - I dont think DS will ever let me do it discretely - he is WAY too interested in the world! legs jumping up and down, gulping slurping noises, belches, arms flailing and thumping me on the boob, and whinging when he lets go for a breath cos he cant find the latch again! that and he hates having his head covered or touched & it's a complete struggle! :rolleyes: ach well... worse things happen at sea ;)

Bells

ADMINISTRATOR

    United Kingdom

Posts: 14,475

Thanks: 40 / 66

  • Send private message

32

Thursday, April 27th 2006, 12:09pm

Sun, hhmmmm yes, my second was a blummin wriggler too. It was like trying to feed an eel sometimes :D Do you break into a sweat just trying to keep your boob in his mouth? :rolleyes:

My first used to make loads of noise when she was feeding..... she would go "gulp, mmmmmm, gulp mmmmMmm, gulp, mmMMMmmmm, gulp, mmMMMMMMmm and it would get louder and louder and LOUDER :D :D It was lovely because she sounded like she was really enjoying it but it wasd SO embarrassing in a quiet room. :O





Posts: 1,805

Reg: Oct 7th 2005

Location: x

  • Send private message

33

Friday, April 28th 2006, 2:38am

Bells - sweating?! pouring! He's now started thumping my boob as well!????

Bells

ADMINISTRATOR

    United Kingdom

Posts: 14,475

Thanks: 40 / 66

  • Send private message

34

Friday, April 28th 2006, 8:56am

Oh Sun, I really really sympathise. I used to be nipped and scratched with razor sharp fingernails. :( Why can't they just appreciate it a bit more eh? :rolleyes:

Once you've done this you can do anything. You're a trooper x x x





mrsjasper

Megastar

Posts: 8,532

Reg: Nov 2nd 2005

Location: Lancashire

Children: 2 gorgeous girls

Thanks: 15 / 4

  • Send private message

35

Friday, April 28th 2006, 9:40am

Grrrr! Went out for dinner with DH last night and happened to mention how easy it would be to breastfeed in a quiet restaraunt if I can cover up with a shawl or something. DH said, I shouldn't do it because it might make people feel uncomfortable. Stupid man. I am now determined to become the queenof discreet breastfeeding in public, just to prove him wrong!





Posts: 1,805

Reg: Oct 7th 2005

Location: x

  • Send private message

36

Friday, April 28th 2006, 9:45am

Bells - lol - I trim DS's nails with my teeth! 8o ;)

AND I make sure he has his mitts on before feeding! :rolleyes:




FERTILITYZONE



MEDHURST – PROUD HOSTS OF FERTILITYZONE