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  • "Primrose" started this thread

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Reg: Oct 3rd 2005

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Friday, February 13th 2009, 9:01pm

Not gaining weight

Hi all, feel a bit of stranger as I NEVER get time to get on here anymore mainly because I'm trying to juggle a toddler and DDs who is feeding ALL the time. By that I mean every 2 hours or so day and night. Trouble is she's not gaining enough weight either.

Brief history...she started off the scale at 10lb 11oz, she has then consistantly dropped through the centiles and is now just above the 25th centile. She has had a cold for what seems like forever, that didn't help as she was bringing up feeds when she coughed some nights. She's never gone longer than 3 hours but for the past 2 weeks she has really stepped up a gear and has been feeding all the time, especially between midnight and 6am and its so hard when I'm trying to juggle her and her older sister whose a lovely but demanding 3 yr old (like they all are at that age). TBH I'm getting shattered with the complete lack of sleep

I spoke to the HV today and she said its clear she's not getting enough milk and she has recommended putting in a ff in the day or starting weaning. Tried the bottle feed but she point blankly refuses bottles so it looks like weaning early? idea of that terrifies me but not sure what other choice I have.

Sorry very long winded but has anyone any advice or been through a similar thing?



Michelle

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Friday, February 13th 2009, 9:24pm

Goodness, poor you - three and a half months of never more than 3 hours sleep at a time. You must be exhausted!!

Is there not another way of getting formula into her without using a bottle?

I'm afraid i dont have anymore advice than that - i have the opposite problem with a hungry baby who wont take my breast milk unless it's in a bottle :snigger:
Hope you get it sorted out soon - you need your sleep too!




ICSI May 08 - BFP
Our beautiful baby girl was born February 2009
Jan 2010 natural BFP M/C 9 weeks
May 2011 - BFP
Baby boy born Jan 2012




  • "philippa_s" is no longer a member of FZ

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Friday, February 13th 2009, 9:59pm

Hi Rosey

I know it's probably not ideal but back in the day when I had DD1, it was recommended to wean at about 3-4 months. What i'm trying to say is that she along with her generation survived so if this is what you need to do, then thats what you need to do! I know if I was you I'd be doing anything by now for some sleep. I do 2 hourly feeds during the day but at least get respite on a night!

Good luck

P x
2 gorgeous girls and 1 on the way

  • "Primrose" started this thread

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Saturday, February 14th 2009, 11:06am

Thanks Phillipa & Michelle really appreciate your replies, yes I am pretty exhausted but I started off telling myself its only for 6 months or so and then they start to have proper food and it'll be the last time I get a chance to bf etc etc... She did have a spell of about 2 weeks when she was very young when she started to go longer at night but that seems like a dim and distant memory right now! I can cope with 3 hourly but this constant feeding is very very hard. Mostly because of her older sister who is starting get a bit fed up with it all too!

DH took both monitors last night and just gave me DD when she needed feeding, we thought if she couldn't smell my milk she may go longer but nope, every 2 hours more or less throughout the night again and then this morning more or less constantly from about 6am! He's taken her older sister out and I'm going to rest of sofa, just hope the extra rest may help my milk supply. Bottles are definately out so tried a cup and a spoon but she had none of it this morning, she's just too young I think. I know loads of people wean from 4 months but usually the baby shows other signs of wanting solids, Baby R looks so small and just doesn't seem ready, apart from the fact she's starving!



  • "philippa_s" is no longer a member of FZ

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Saturday, February 14th 2009, 12:45pm

Have you tried getting DH to give her the bottles? I know G is a bit reluctant when I'm there but is fine with my DP? Or could you express a feed to give yourself a bit of a rest?
2 gorgeous girls and 1 on the way

Torisen

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Saturday, February 14th 2009, 1:17pm

Is she gaining weight at all and how does she look?

My HV was pretty useless so for all my concerns I went straight to my GP which is absolutely fab.
If your HV gives you full confidence then listen to her and try do as Philippa says and get your DH to try the bottle. If not, let your GP check her over to see if either of the options is really needed.

X
ICSI Jan 2006 - BFP
MC one twin at 6 weeks
DS born in Oct 2006
BF DS 10 months 3 weeks and 5 days
FET 11/07, ICSI 12/07 (ABANDONED), ICSI 2/08, IUI 5/08 - BFN
Clomid IUI 7/08 BFP MC a twin... again :(


Bells

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Saturday, February 14th 2009, 1:41pm

Primrose, I would suggest that perhaps your baby is getting to the stage where she's into two habits. One is snacking frequently on the breast, never getting hungry, often getting topped up. Likened to how some adults walk into the kitchen and eat something out of boredom when they're not 'actually' hungry. The other habit is perhaps waking up during the night and being unable to go back to sleep without interaction. Does she suck for some comfort to go back to sleep?

At her age she IS capable for going for more than 2- 3 hours without a breastfeed. That is certain.

As far as your milk is concerned. You're hardly giving yourself a chance to fill up, maybe your breasts feel empty frequently? How on earth your HV can say that she's 'clearly not getting enough milk' is beyond me. She's probably taking just enough but in a constant grazing effort which is very likely to be borne out of habit which is then having a knock on effect that your breasts aren't able to fill up again so quickly.

I think a double edged approach would work but it would involve you having to work really hard on her self soothing to sleep 'and' at the same time going through a transition period of not feeding so frequently so that your breasts can fill up and therefore you can give her a good, long feed to fill up that tummy.





  • "Primrose" started this thread

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Saturday, February 14th 2009, 6:10pm

Thanks everyone, really really appreciate your advice, right....

Tried DH feeding, if anything she screams louder. Can't express at all unfortunately, could just about earlier on but only ounce or two. (yes almost always feel empty, but completely flood on side that's not feeding so I know I'm producing milk, and when she was sick there was loads of it!). Did save what I cld express in freezer and been trying regularly with DD but no joy. Everyone says you have to force the bottle but just tried with formula and both of us in tears after half an hour of trying :bawl: I can't go through that again, I feel strung out enough as it is.

GP surgery refer back to HV unfortunately.

DD is putting on weight but not along any growth curve. For instance she was 12lb 4 at 11 weeks, 12lb 11oz at 13 weeks and is now 13lbs 2oz at 16 weeks, so dropping from just above 50th to half way between 50th/25th. Apart from weight chart and constant feeding (!) she seems really happy and content.

During the day she can feed for 50 mins at a time but at night makes sense what you say about snacking, i am pretty sure her feeds are much shorter (i nearly always fall asleep while feeding her so can't be certain). She is really good about going to sleep on her own when she's first put down though, 90% of the time she is put to bed awake. But it cld be a habit she's developed after having a cold for so long? Also at night as she often falls asleep mid feed so maybe its a case of really trying to wake her up when she feeds so she doesn't wakeup so soon afterwards? I've just read up about babies that 'nibble' instead of properly suck during feeding and I think that may be the problem too. Apparently 'compressing' the breast during the feeding and swopping sides often helps with that, so...going to give all of those things a go for the next few days and keep my fingers crossed the next weigh in will be better.



Chilli

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Saturday, February 14th 2009, 6:20pm

She sounds just like Flo, she was on the 75th and although never lost weigh she is now on the 4th, I have been through the whole HV getting involved ect but I just carried on, as long as she gained weigh albeit not how the chart suggests she ought to then I will carry on.

I can't advise the frequent feeding sorry it does sound asthough she is snacking. M had issues with taking abottle it took a while but we got there in the end and it was only DH who could do it with me downstairs out of sight.

I hope it gets better soon xx

Torisen

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Saturday, February 14th 2009, 6:22pm

I used to pull the corner of DS mouth to start him sucking better now and then!

Change GP surgery if they won't see you is my advice. That would make me furious!
ICSI Jan 2006 - BFP
MC one twin at 6 weeks
DS born in Oct 2006
BF DS 10 months 3 weeks and 5 days
FET 11/07, ICSI 12/07 (ABANDONED), ICSI 2/08, IUI 5/08 - BFN
Clomid IUI 7/08 BFP MC a twin... again :(


treezuk

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  • "treezuk" is no longer a member of FZ

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Wednesday, February 18th 2009, 10:15pm

I cant really give you any advice on the BF/milk situation but i wanted to let you know at last weight in Last week Mckenzi was 13lb 7oz at 16 weeks and my HV has insured me everytime that he is fine his not on the thick black line but his between the 2 which she said is fine , so im not sure why there telling you your DD isnt getting enough milk maybe its cos she was born bigger than M that they assume she should be more...

Anyways i just wanted to let you know that M was around at the same at the same age if that helps at all...
Me (Teresa) 28 / DH 31
DS Mckenzi Born 23rd Oct 08
TTC Since 2004.. Two Miscarriage's... 21st July 05 & 28th July 10


  • "Primrose" started this thread

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Tuesday, February 24th 2009, 7:59pm

Yes it does Teresa thank you :D

Been trying to find the time to get on here to update, anyway weighed baby R last week and she had put on 6ozs in a week!!! Its been really hard work though as I'm really concentrating on her feeding properly when she does feed, instead of the usual multi-tasking. Just had to stay in most days but that in itself is quite stressful too! HV wants us to have weekly weigh ins, if anything just to give me a motivational boost so that we keep going as long as possible before weaning. She advised it would be better to wean rather than switch to formula (as if I had the choice anyway :rolleyes:).

Since the weigh in though she has now switched to only feeding for a couple of minutes during the day though so I'm going to be really surprised if she has put on this week.. At night she is waking a lot which is still hell, some nights I manage to put her off or put a pillow over my head until she gets herself back to sleep and others I'm so tired I just feed her for a quiet life, I know thats not good.

BF with two is so incredibly hard I can really understand why people stop earlier (almost everyone I know stopped by 4 months) or went straight to formula from the start. I have to keep reminding myself of the benefits :sadface:



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Tuesday, February 24th 2009, 8:49pm

Try not to put yourself under too much pressure hun. These red books where they say they are not following the line drive me nuts, I know they need something as a general guide to monitor babies but there is no way that every baby in the country is going to be bang on with the book. I had probs with my 2 not putting on weight had to top up with formula and then I went to ff full time! However what I did find with having two babies is that every baby develops, feeds, put weight on etc at their own pace. Daisy has alway weighed less than Nuala. I used to get them weighed every fortnight sometimes a month. One month she could put 2oz sometimes 8oz! I weaned mine at about 17-18wks and they have been fine.

Sounds like you are doing really well hun. But I would defo have words with your doc. Mine always wants to be involved in whats going on.
Melanie
1st IUI cylce 10 March 06 BFN
2nd IUI cycle 19th June 06 BFN
3rd IUI cycle 6th Sep 06 BFN
4th IVF 31st March at St Barts :BFP:

Daisy born @ 35wks 20/12/07 12.16am 4lb 13.5 oz
Nuala born @ 35wks 20/12/07 12.18am 5lb 10oz


Chilli

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Tuesday, February 24th 2009, 9:19pm

It is tough, it is a worry and while I don't like the chart or the fact that people assume the fatter the baby the healthier :rolleyes: you know yourself whether they have gained weight, try not to put too much pressure on yourself. It's tough having two :smile:

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Friday, April 10th 2009, 10:22pm

Remember the charts are for formula fed babies NOT breast fed ones so try and gauge your breast fed baby by their own health and happiness rather than by what HV says they should weigh. I stopped taking R for weigh ins because I was so sick of being told to top up etc and that she was under weight (she wasn't) or not gaining enough weight. She is a healthy happy breast fed 18 month old who never matched up to the formula fed babies by weight.

The difference is weight gain is because human breast milk is all about feeding the growing brain while cow milk is all about building mass - baby cows need to stand very quickly. So cows milk will increase weight quickly while breast milk rarely does.

Sounds like you have loads of milk from the flow on the non feeding side.
MC 1997, Ectopic 2006, Tubal infertility, 1st IVF :BFP: [zx098]


  • "Primrose" started this thread

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Sunday, April 12th 2009, 6:55pm

Thanks Emilia, in the cold light of day I know you're right. She is small but i think thats her natural size. She's 24 wks now and we started the process of weaning a couple of weeks ago. I know that was a bit early but we spoke to a brilliant HV who is very pro bf, she said it wld be better to start on solids rather than top up with ff. we are going very slowly as she feels so young but she is desperate for it! Quite funny as even at this early stage she is showing definate preferences, pear and baby rice a big hit. Using a starter beaker but she hates it, think this may be a long road!



treezuk

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Monday, April 13th 2009, 1:02pm

Glad to hear you have had some improvment rosey she sounds like she is doing fab with the weaning and as long as its all going ok you cant ask for more...
Me (Teresa) 28 / DH 31
DS Mckenzi Born 23rd Oct 08
TTC Since 2004.. Two Miscarriage's... 21st July 05 & 28th July 10





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