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Soooz

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  • "Soooz" started this thread

Posts: 3,154

Reg: Apr 3rd 2008

Location: UK

Children: 2 sons - Natural shock 99 & ICSI miracle 04

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Thursday, March 26th 2009, 8:43pm

Growing up and sex

Hi all - i'm after some advice.

My eldest ds turned 10 in feb and has now started cycling to school and spends much more time with his friends than with us. I know he is growing up and its scaring me. I found his mobile the other day with a pic of a nudey woman on it. I was so shocked i nearly cried :( I managed to talk to him calmly but he's growing up so quick and p and i are just wondering when the right time would be to tell him about sex from our perspective rather than what they get told at school. I'm so frightened of doing or saying the wrong thing which will affect what how he thinks about sex in the future.

Any advice, i'd be grateful x
:flowerbasket:

Proud mum to two sons - natural unexpected in 1999 :8o: and ICSI in 2004 : D

We must let go of the life we had planned;
to have the life waiting for us

  • "philippa_s" is no longer a member of FZ

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Reg: Jan 12th 2008

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Thursday, March 26th 2009, 8:52pm

Hi Sooz

I started talking to my DD whilst she was in her last year at primary school...at the time I was doing work for a sexual health charity so had lots of 'stuff' about which she was curious about anyway.

I talked about it in terms of 'loving relationships' and also about STI's, pregnancy etc. She's now 15 and we had a little chat the other week as she had some very stylish love bites on her neck (NOT!) but whats nice is that we CAN just chat about it very openly and she asks questions.

Good luck

P x
2 gorgeous girls and 1 on the way

Bells

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Thursday, March 26th 2009, 9:22pm

How funny. I had the 'talk' with my daughter just yesterday. She'll be ten in July.

We were in the car and the news came on talking about the morning after pill being available for 11 year olds, I used that as a springboard to open up a discussion about contraception. When we got to the place we were walking there were some ducks mating so I brought up the subject again and we talked about sex, legal ages, STDs and periods.

We walked and talked, laughed about things and I told her how she would hear all kinds of different snippets of information but that I wanted her to know the real deal and that she could come and talk to me anytime about anything... because I know everything about everything :D





Soooz

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  • "Soooz" started this thread

Posts: 3,154

Reg: Apr 3rd 2008

Location: UK

Children: 2 sons - Natural shock 99 & ICSI miracle 04

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Thursday, March 26th 2009, 9:47pm

thx for your responses - they are really helpful

i think the thing for me is explaining about sex from a female point of view but also trying to look at it from a male point of view. it is so hard cos p is rubbish and stuff like this and i know it will be left to me. can u suggest any books or information leaflets which i can springboard from ?
:flowerbasket:

Proud mum to two sons - natural unexpected in 1999 :8o: and ICSI in 2004 : D

We must let go of the life we had planned;
to have the life waiting for us

Posts: 819

Reg: Oct 3rd 2005

Location: West of Scotland

Children: DS#1 (clomid) 1999 -vb - DS#2 (natural BFP) c-sec

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Thursday, March 26th 2009, 10:27pm

OMG Sooz and Bells ... can't believe you guys are thinking about this already ... hasn't even crossed my mind :8o: should I be thinking about this ??? :innocent: Callum was 10 at the end of Feb and I really don't think he is anywhere near ready for talks like that ... we talk about girlfriends etc but it doesn't go any further than that so .... sorry Sooz ... but no advice from me ... but I'll be popping back in here and copying any advice you get :snigger:
DS#1 FEB 1999 (CLOMID)
DS#2 MAY 2006 - MIRACLE !!





Bells

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Friday, March 27th 2009, 10:03am

Don't get me wrong, I'm not talking about how to have sex or preparing her for having sex, I'm just laying the foundations for what will hopefully be a good relationship where we 'can' talk about these things over the coming years.

I needed to broach it because she's always been a little bit earlier with physical things. She's what they call 'dentally precocious' so her big teeth came through much earlier than her peers. She's a tall girl and already wears a little soft bra and I was worried that if she started her periods without some advice she'd panic. So it was pretty essential for me to talk to her.

Talking about contraception was a way of kicking it off and hopefully she came away knowing that sex is what makes people pregnant and that there are ways of preventing that (hence the discussion on the radio), that there's a legal age for having sex (which is why there's this discussion on the radio), that girls get periods and their bodies change, that her friends will talk to her about all this and tell her all kinds of things and that she can always come to me for the proper info.

What I 'want' is for her to be able to say the word 'sex' without embarrassment so that we can talk about it as part of our daily lives rather than sit her down and give her a lesson in emotions and mechanics. Does that make sense? I don't want to bombard her with information or take away her childhood innocence. I 'do' want her to feel that sex, periods, relationships and changing bodies are all just parts of normal life and can be dicussed at random, whenever.





mrsjasper

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Friday, March 27th 2009, 8:25pm

Alternatively you can follow my plan of locking your child in their bedroom at the onset of puberty then having an arranged marriage when they are 25!





mad_shell66

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Reg: Apr 16th 2008

Location: Pwllheli, North Wales

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Tuesday, May 5th 2009, 3:25pm

Quoted

Originally posted by mrsjasper
Alternatively you can follow my plan of locking your child in their bedroom at the onset of puberty then having an arranged marriage when they are 25!


:snigger:

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Reg: Mar 28th 2009

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Monday, May 25th 2009, 4:20pm

cool some other parents with the same problem!
my 13yr old son recently has started takin an interest in sex, boobies,sarcasm and innuendos. hes a lot more understanding than i thought! we talk about sex n stuff and ive told him bout contraception,ages etc and he seems okay. i just tell him again every so often that if he must have sex to wrap it in rubber and not to believe a girl who says shes on the pill (if i had a daughter id say if he said it doesnt feel the same with a condom telll him you aint doin it) as you dont really want to spoil your life by having an unwanted child. he seems okay bout.
he asks about the birds n the bees....all you can do is bee (lol) honest with them without the scare stories..

as for my 10yr old..you only have to say 'willy' and he gets all embarrassed n runs off lol





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