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  • "twinkle25" started this thread

Posts: 354

Reg: Mar 13th 2006

Location: scotland

Children: 1 DD

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1

Monday, July 6th 2009, 7:56am

Feeling really down and desparate

Im feeling like i cant cope with this ttc anymore. everyone round me has just had a baby or due soon. One of my sis-in-law has just had a baby, she has 4 already and they are all treated like an inconvieniance. Its really unfair. My other sis-in-law is due soon too and she keeps saying she cant wait to get it out to get her life back to normal. I did tell her she has the next 18 years to go before she gets her "life" back as she states.

All friends have just had babies cant take listening to all the stories and baby talk. Im fed up of the "I just need to look at my DH or DP to fall pregnant". I managed to get out of going to the hospital to see my sis-in-law but had to go round the next day to see them. It hurt like hell to say the least. They have asked me and DH to be the godparents which was lovely to be asked but still hurt. I was due my baby days before her on the 26th June but I turned out to be ectopic last November. I kept sitting there thinking this should have been me. And Im not looking forward to my other sis-in-law having hers either.

It hurts too much to sit there and congratulate them and smile along when inside im falling to pieces. I feel so so so desparate to have a baby, its taking over my life.

Ive had 2 x MC and lost both tubes to ectopics, had OHSS, and a failed fet cycle. Im going to start my next and proberly the final fet cycle in Aug this year and am terrified it doesnt work. Its my last set of embryos and we cant afford a full £3000 for another IVF cycle.

How do I cope, why cant it just happen to me. Sorry to rant on but I cant really spwak to DH in too much depth about it.
1 DD
2 X MC 07 ECTOPIC 07
IVF MAR 08 22 EGGS,FROZEN DUE TO OHSS
FET AUG O8 BFP BUT ECTOPIC
FET MAR 09 - BFN

Posts: 316

Reg: Aug 8th 2007

Location: Surrey

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2

Monday, July 6th 2009, 10:34am

Hi..

Sorry to here your feeling so low. You have got to be happy you have got your DD. Stay positive that it will happen! You have got to keep you spirits high and believe, it will have a much better affect with the treatment. You have got to be happy for the ones close to you for havin their babies, because it is a very special time for them and when you have your baby you will want others to share your happiness with you. I hope this dosent sound harsh...i felt exactly the same but DH kept reminding me. We got a dog when we were trying and it really helped us, she became our baby and focus. She got us out the house and took the edge away from trying to get pregnant and to relax and now shes pat of the family. Im not saying get a dog but think of something you can do together or plan apart from TTC and it may help

Hope this helps you a little...keep your chin up xxx
Timed bd - 75iu fostimen and pregnil TWINS born May 09
Fostimin inj ---BFP Baby girl born Dec 10

Natural BFP March 12

Posts: 2,026

Reg: Jul 21st 2007

Location: Kent

Children: Baby boy Brennan...born 23rd April 09

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3

Monday, July 6th 2009, 11:17am

Oh Twinkle,its so so hard,i have been through 2 x ectopics and know how it hurts so bad when everyone around you is pregnant or have just had a baby....i got there in the end and so will you hun,have faith,and i just wanted to wish you loads of luck for next month,praying it will work for you,big hugs x x x x
ME 33 DH 36
TTC 4 YEARS
2006 TUBAL ECTOPIC
2007 IVF CORNUAL ECTOPIC
2008 FET BFP! TWINS BUT LOST ONE AT 7W3D

BRENNAN MATTHEW WATTS BORN VIA C SECTION ON 23RD APRIL 2009
OUR DREAM HAS COME TRUE WE GOT THERE IN THE END :happy:



Welshbird

Megastar

  • "Welshbird" is no longer a member of FZ

Posts: 8,249

Reg: Mar 8th 2008

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4

Monday, July 6th 2009, 1:50pm

Hey Hun xxx

I know how ur feeling, its really REALLY hard when everyone around you is having babies or have had babies, especially when yours was due around this date too ... my SIL is due to have her first baby in Oct ... mine was due in Aug and i KNOW its gonna be hard for me ... my MIL is excited and its all she talks about ... and i feel like screaming - well wot about me and your son's child - we were gonna have one too .... but i cant, cos it wouldnt be right. She is excited for good reason and i know she would have been excited for us too.

I already have 2 children from a previous marriage, but my DH has none .... i find it so hard when people say - but you've already got 2, why are u so upset cos u cant have anymore .... what they dont understand is that DH has no children, we want a child together, and just cos u have your DD does not mean u dont want a sibling for her ....

My heart goers out to u hun, im on my last 'go' (its our 4th try) we are totally exhausted, our bank account is so low, we already have a dog - it doesnt change the fact that we want a baby .... nothing will.

I do hope and pray that next time is your turn hun, i really do ... and i do understand ur worry in case it doesnt ... am here if u want to talk, anytime ....

Xxxx

Levanah

Newbie

Posts: 21

Reg: Jun 26th 2009

Location: Yeovil, Somerset

Children: one son aged 13 from previous relationship

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5

Monday, July 6th 2009, 3:11pm

I can totally relate to you. I havent been ttc that long in comparison to many on here. But if time runs out for me plus my age will exclude me from any fertility interventions I will have to face up to having no more children.

I already get very upset when I see others conceiving very quickly. I seem to see pregnant mums all around and I so wish it could be one last time.

I am grateful for having my son but it still hurts like mad that I may never get to share the wonderful gift of another baby with my new partner.

I do share your desperation and you are not alone here. I wish you all the best and will keep everything crossed for you,
Much love
xxxx

Jodie

Megastar

Posts: 7,078

Reg: Mar 31st 2007

Location: By the coast

Children: 2 beautiful girls.

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6

Monday, July 6th 2009, 11:06pm

Hello lovely.

Its only natural to be hurting, especially around the time of your baby's due date. And you're doing really well, seeing your SIL and agreeing to be the baby's godmother.

I remember finding it hard to visit a friend of mine and her new baby. I think the baby was over 3 months old by the time I was brave enough.

My heart goes out to you and I hope that this FET is the one that works for you.

Please come and talk to us here, or maybe start a diary here or in the FET section which you could use to pour all your feelings out and get lots of support.

x






My family is complete...I am grateful every day

DD1, natural miracle, 2005
DD2, IVF miracle, 2008


Soooz

Star

Posts: 3,154

Reg: Apr 3rd 2008

Location: UK

Children: 2 sons - Natural shock 99 & ICSI miracle 04

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7

Monday, July 6th 2009, 11:22pm

I understand totally what ure saying hun. We got pg naturally and then it took us 5 years before we could deal with secondary infertility due to mfi and save for our go at icsi....which worked !!! we now have an almost 5 year old as well.... those times after being diagnosed with severe mfi were by far the worst in my life. I had no support - wish i had known about FZ then !!! - and we struggled for a good few years. But it worked. And u gotta find a little faith that it could for u too....

Ure need for another child .... well it still the hurts as much inside, whether its ure first or fifth !!!!! don't feel bad for wanting a sibling for ure daughter. and please come on here and sound off whenever u need xxxxxxxx the support you will receive should keep u going a little better xxxxx
:flowerbasket:

Proud mum to two sons - natural unexpected in 1999 :8o: and ICSI in 2004 : D

We must let go of the life we had planned;
to have the life waiting for us

This post has been edited 1 times, last edit by "Soooz" (Jul 6th 2009, 11:23pm)





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