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pamelag088

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Saturday, November 28th 2009, 1:08pm

Settling without boob

Yes me again :O

Ok I know TJ is only a week old, But I also know babies learn very quickly and since birth Tobey has only settled straight from my boob, If I burp him I have to put him back on boob to settle him again before he will go down, If he needs changed once he is asleep he has to go back on therefore he is feeding when he isnt hungry and getting sick.

I dont mind doing this for now but know it may cause problems later, I can stand hearing him cry for a short while but DH gets very distressed and has to go and pick him up but he cant settle him either so ends up handing him to me.

Am I being rediculous for worrying about this already? or is this something I should think about nipping in bud sooner rather than later? Feel free to laugh at me.

Now I totally understand why people say if only they came with a handbook, I thought it was just an expression up til now

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Saturday, November 28th 2009, 2:04pm

Hey Pammy.
My dd would only settle with boob for the first couple of months and then to save my nipples i introduced the dredded dummy :8o: A dummy is not really a good idea at a week old old though as breastfeeding is still being established. So, what i'm basically saying is....i have no idea :snigger:
Are you getting sore? If not and you don't actually mind being used as a dummy then perhaps just let him......some might think i'm mad for suggesting it but it's what i did! It's really good for your milk supply too and your clever little boy knows it :D




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pamelag088

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Saturday, November 28th 2009, 2:09pm

He already has a dummy :snigger: Doesnt settle him either? He takes it for a while but doesnt sleep with it just keeps him quiet a while then the hands start flying and knocking it out and he gets all upset.

Everyone tells you different things, some say demand feeding is wrong others say its only way to go, some say routine early as possible others say wait, I dont know :sadface:

Like I say for now I dont mind him falling asleep at breast I love seeing it actually but its going to prove difficult later and DH cant settle him for me at nights etc

How did you get on trying to get DD out of that routine? did you find it easy or did you have to give some tough love?

This post has been edited 1 times, last edit by "pamelag088" (Nov 28th 2009, 2:10pm)


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Saturday, November 28th 2009, 2:11pm

Hmmm.... he's only a week old and most babies do get such comfort from sucking, hence the term 'sucky baby'. I'm glad you can see the difference between a 'hungry baby' and one that likes to suck for comfort, so many get the two confused.

So, you have a sucky baby and your choices are a, take him off the boob and let his fret - b, use a dummy (I hear the gasps and sharp intakes of breath :D ) - c, let him suck until he's settled or preferably, a mixture of all of the above based on the circumstances.

I wish there was a magic formula that someone could give you to solve the problem but unfortunately there isn't one, only means of coping with what's happening.

The thing is, he's a natural born sucker and as much as it's a problem, that's a mega plus. It's the reason that YOU are so successful at this breastfeeding malarkey. His natural instincts are to suckle and this is the only thing that comforts him which is very tying and means that you're basically a walking dummy BUT Pammy, you have a beautiful son who you sustained for nine months and now you are his entire world, sustaining him, comforting him, giving him your body's milk and, even though he's not inside you any more, you're the one keeping him alive. He relies on you for his every sense to be tended to and you are the only one that matters to him (and Dad of course :snigger: ) and so ... although it would be lovely to have an 'off' switch on his back :snigger: what you're doing for him right now is giving him total security, nourishment and comfort just by being you.

He's not going to get into bad habits at a week old and so, whatever you and your hubby need to do to settle your little man then, well, just do it. There's no right or wrong way at this age (in a few more weeks then yes...) at the moment it's just about you 'all' getting sleep, eating and filling up the time in between.

He 'will' go longer between feeds and settle better when he's a bit older and you're right to keep on top of things to stop bad habits from forming but at the moment you're all just learning to ropes, try not to worry x





pamelag088

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Saturday, November 28th 2009, 2:18pm

Thanks Bells

It may turn out he is fine in a few weeks I dont know anyone else who has breastfed so everyone' advice is based on bottle feeding and my sister had a really hard time with her DD only settling after feeds but obviously once the bottle was done there wasnt much she could do but let her scream(and boy did she scream)
Lucky with the boobs there is always food so dont have to go to bother of making another bottle etc etc.

HUH why is it so bloody hard :snigger: Its not hard I love it but dont know what Im meant to do for best for me and my baby

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Saturday, November 28th 2009, 2:43pm

Quoted

Originally posted by pamelag088
How did you get on trying to get DD out of that routine? did you find it easy or did you have to give some tough love?

I've not been very consistent! That's all i'm saying on the matter :innocent: :snigger:




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pamelag088

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Saturday, November 28th 2009, 2:45pm

lmao

I can see myself in the same position very soon

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Saturday, November 28th 2009, 3:46pm

Bells, what a lovely post! almost had me in tears - (nice ones, not sad ones :P )

Pammy, A won't settle easily either and she's nearly 6 weeks old ?( she falls asleep on my boob, I wind her, she looks asleep, I put her back in her cot and she's awake again!
I haven't been putting her back on. I tried, but she just plays around with the nipple and smiles :smile: :rolleyes:
I think A's more into cuddles and body contact rather than sucking, so I don't know what I can suggest for you as we're in a similar boat really - A still wakes me every 2, 3 or 4 hours in the night for feeds, and I don't really know what to do after feeds other than cuddle her!
I worry I've got her into bad habits now.... hmmm.

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pamelag088

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Saturday, November 28th 2009, 7:20pm

Poochy sounds similar, he looks asleep too but after 5 mins he eating his hands again. The cuddles dont work with him it HAS to be the boob, dummy works a short while until he realises there is nothing coming out of it :snigger:
Its so hard this mummy business isnt it? You want to give them what they want and make them happy every second of the day but its not practical, In an ideal world where there wasnt things to do and you could stay in bed with LO all day it would be magic.

just back from MIL and TJ wouldnt settle off the boob, Fed him for over an hour in the end and Im sure MIL was thinking I was doing someting wrong, he fell asleep and I put him down and within 5 mins he was sucking his gloves again and making mummy look bad :snigger:

Took him home and he has settled fine in his moses basket, makes you feel like your stuck at home as whole time I just wanted back to my comfy home where I felt confident about what I was doing

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Sunday, November 29th 2009, 7:54pm

Pammy snap! E used to feed for about 10mins and stop but then wouldnt settle if i put her down. Shes kind growing out of the habit of not settling now but i do think she would stay on my boob all day long as a comfort thing wee monkey :snigger:

They are only wee and as people keep telling me they are too young to spoil by giving them exactly what the want/need to feel comfy and secure. Its kinda nice that its you tj needs so much :D
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Monday, November 30th 2009, 5:10pm

Me again Pammy! Bells is right, it's because TJ likes to suck a lot that you are feeding so successfully, so it's a good thing. And you have to remember he's been attached to you for 9 months - getting used to physical separation from you is something that will come gradually, so don't try to rush it. Don't think about whether you're doing the "right" or "wrong" thing. Like I always say when it comes to looking after your baby "go with the flow girl, go with the flow" Follow your instincts - there ARE no rules !!! :D
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Monday, November 30th 2009, 5:49pm

Quoted

Originally posted by pamelag088
Its so hard this mummy business isnt it?

OMG yes!

Quoted

Originally posted by pamelag088
In an ideal world where there wasnt things to do and you could stay in bed with LO all day it would be magic.

I actually think that one of the reasons new babies feed so often is so that mums HAVE to sit down. Giving birth is hard work so nature arranges it so that you sit down a lot in the first few weeks/months so that you can recover. Staying in bed is even better.

Quoted

Originally posted by pamelag088
I just wanted back to my comfy home where I felt confident about what I was doing


You should feel confident, you are doing brilliantly. X





pamelag088

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Monday, November 30th 2009, 6:50pm

Thanks MrsJ and Chris :D

I just don't want to do anything wrong, I think TJ having another cluster feed day, He has been feeding all day but doesnt seem to be getting full, was feeding for about 2 hours only being off for changes and winding and screaming the whole time.
Iv got him down just now just hope boobies fill up by time he wakes again, He hates them when they are soft :snigger:

He has been slightly better settling off boob, Iv been trying to wind him then put him down, Sometimes he settles and next time he has to go back on for another 5 mins of "play with nipple" game before he settles :snigger:

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Monday, November 30th 2009, 10:48pm

Between 7-14 days most babies will have 'another' period of cluster feeding. You're text book Pammy!!! :smile: :smile: :smile:





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Thursday, December 3rd 2009, 11:56pm

Hi Pammy,

I didn't worry about anything for the first few weeks but worked towards introducing a routine from about 4 weeks, it instantly sorted out lots of issues and was a god send to me. I have a super sucky baby, who loved using me as a dummy and still will if I let him :-) I decided not to demand feed as he wanted it all the time and was making himself sick, honestly he was uncomfortabe and pooing ALL the time he was eating so much. Since putting him on a routine e.g. he gets fed same times each day and thats it. I am really strict with it in the day time, and rather than feel like I'm holding out of him its had the opposite effect, he never seems hungry now, its like the routine always manages to pre-empt his hunger a little so now he hardly ever cries. I also know hes been fully fed and can then last x hours so any fussy is due to something else and if its just that he needs soothing instead I do it with cuddles, distraction, bath.... sometimes a dummy if he ever does get in a state but thats hardly ever.

The first rule in my routine is NEVER put him to bed asleep! Always make sure he goes down slightly awake so early on he learns to self settle. Now I havent stuck to it and its so noticable, the naps I have always stuck to that rule with he goes down no trouble, the ones I've been lazy on I am now having trouble with. Those now take swaddle + white music + dummy and usualy let him cry for up to 3 minutes, until I get him up reswaddle, turn up the white music, dummy back in etc. Slowly getting there. One of the best other rules I follow is the feed just before he goes down is in a darkened room, no talking or eye contact so I get him drowsy (not asleep) and very calm. (Soooo hard esp if you can see him grinning at you out of the corner of your eye, but it does work)

His best nap now the one without a feed anywhere near it, his morning 9-10am one, as hes fed 7-7:45, then is up until 9am when by that point is getting tired and I can just put him down! Separating the association there really helped, but when you bubs is still so young with little awak time that would be much harder. Anyway, hope something in here helps you with ideas!
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pamelag088

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Friday, December 4th 2009, 12:16am

OMG Im never going to manage to do this :sadface:

I cant imagine set feeding times etc as right now just going with the flow, I know its better to get routine established I just cant imagine it working easily, He goes down awake but doesnt sleep, He will amuse himself for 15 mins max before the hands start going and dummy goes flying, then he wont take it back just spits it out and seems to get very angry if you try and give it back to him. Then starts the screaming and when ignored more screaming like he is being murdered then I give in and pick him up and put him on boob where he instantly calms and sleep in 10 mins :sadface:

He poops all the time too, I mean sometimes 3 an hour and you can hear it coming out of him too, most annoying when he is just settled and away to be put down.

He never comes off the boob awake so how do I know he has had enough? I only know now when he falls asleep.

Not looking forward to this now :snigger:

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Friday, December 4th 2009, 4:26am

Its not hard promise. Infact it makes life easier, my wee one was the same, non stop pooing, once that stopped he was heaps better sounds like your boy is the same, a non stop snacker that then has to put up with non stop pooping which makes him really hard to settle! A routine solved those issues for me, I know every baby is different but am happy to email you the routine I did when he was younger if you want to give it a go. It had my man sorted within a few days... most amazing was it gave me a definite 2 and a half hour nap so break in the middle of every day, which was lovely to have some space to recoup for the next stint. I wouldnt rush into anything if your happy as you are.

I should also say all that stuff I do to try and settle... he actually always settles straight off since being on a routine, its the darn 45 minute sleep cycle they have thats worst for me, he goes down and wakes up 45 later, thats when I have to try those techniques if I want him to go for a longer stint (at 3 months he now goes 5 hrs nap at a time over night - so it does get easier Pammy!). The routines I use also adjust for bubs size etc to make sure you never push them to do more than they can. Anyways if you are interested just let me know and Ill send you it for a try. Remember you never have to be rigid about anything its all just a guide to help, you'll find what works for you guys.
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pamelag088

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Friday, December 4th 2009, 7:00pm

Yes that would be good Deidre. Seems so scary at the mo.

He was up every hour last night and tonight he was shattered and refusing the boob so I put him down. 20 mins of solid screaming, picked a very sweaty upset baby up after that, fed him, put him down, slept for 5 mins and now he up again

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Friday, December 4th 2009, 7:38pm

Pammy, it does get better, honestly. I know that's little consolation now and I remember telling Bells and the others on the team at a similar stage to you that I just couldn't cope with it any longer. I could't bear the constant evening crying and the feelings of helplessness when it seemed only boob would do - and sometimes not even that would work!

Remember you're not doing anything wrong. You can't do anything wrong at this stage. Just do what you can to keep you both as happy as possible. There are no rules at this and you have to do what works for you.

In a few weeks time you'll get your first proper smiles and that will make it all worthwhile. I promise.

ttc since July 06. 8 cycles of clomid. BFP on cycle 5 (Dec 07) ended in m/c at 9.5 weeks. Second BFP on cycle 8 (May 08)




pamelag088

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Friday, December 4th 2009, 8:34pm

Thank you bubble

Thats helped a lot, feel so uptight all the time, cant relax even to do the dishes. I feel so guilty for not being happy all the time when I wanted this soooo much I wanted to enjoy every second of it but I cant :bawl:

Seen so many people in tesco today and they all asked "is he good?" probably expectng me to say yes he is a dream, instead I stood there fighting back tears and just said when he wants to be :snigger:

I dont want anyone to know I cry cuz it seems ungrateful after being so lucky to get a double miracle with my wee man but when his own mummy cant settle him when he is upset it upsets me soo much and Dh just stands there helpless as he knows there is nothing he can do either.

Cant even express anymore either, Iv tried last 3 days and got literally 20ml from both boobs at 2 different sittings, Dont know if this means my milk supply not that good or if he is feeding so much I have nothing left or if expressing just doesnt work for me, although i did manage to get almost 3 oz last week.

Thanks for listening, feel better now I got all that out :D

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Friday, December 4th 2009, 8:59pm

Oh Pammy, I wish I could come around for a coffee (I'd make it :snigger: ) and just spend an hour telling you how every single thing you've said sounds so familiar because I've heard it time and time again.

My eldest daughter was a complete dream, people would call her 'pleasant' ... and I didn't really know what they meant by that and I even believed that her calm and placid manner was down to my fine parenting skills. Hmmm... that was soon put to rights when my second child came along :rolleyes: I called her 'my little ball of fury' :snigger: I certainly knew then what those people meant by 'pleasant' because this child was the opposite. At her six week check the doctor had to p-r-i-s-e her fists open... she hadn't uncurled them since she was born, not even in the bath .. and the gunk that had collected in her palms was something else :snigger:!

I don't know what people expect of being Mum to a newborn, maybe walking around with a smug smile, a supportive husband and a faint smell of baby powder? Whatever's imagined, it's a world away from the reality of walking around with a zombified expression, no sign of adult company for the most part and a faint smell of sick/poo/unbrushed teeth/hair that needs washing.

Expressing at your stage, with a baby who is feeding effectively and often, will often result in not a great deal. It's not an accurate representation of the amount of milk you're making and you would have to completely miss a feed to get even half the amount that your baby gets through suckling ... and that's providing you're pumping well. Expressing doesn't suit everybody and your milk isn't anywhere near established yet.

Take a deep breath and try to accept that this is pretty much normal. If parenting was easy and straighforward then it would be like having a doll. It's not, it's hard, challenging, trying, upsetting, extremely character building. This stuff right now, 'this' is what makes you a parent.





pamelag088

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Saturday, December 5th 2009, 12:05am

Thanks for taking the time to reply to me bells :D

You always know what to say to make me feel better, Before I even read your reply I got the hankies at the ready cuz I knew the tears would start :snigger:

I feel so different just a few hours later but Im sure in another few hours I will be a bubbling mess again, I guess its down to feeling confident about what Im doing, that and fact everyone has an opinion about what I "should" be doing, I should have him in a routine, he should be bathed at this time, I should regulate his feeds blah blah blah

When I know my baby is happy I am happy, When he is upset and I DONT KNOW what to do its different, I never expected to not know what to do, I never expected to not know difference between a hungry baby and a tired baby, or how to know if he is too hot or too cold :snigger:

Feel so stupid for not just getting on with it like everyone else seems to do, I remeber seeing a friend when he LO was 2 weeks and she was down town looking fine doing her shopping, B1tch :snigger:

pamelag088

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Saturday, December 5th 2009, 12:20am

btw when I said that about everyones opinion I meant family that constantly go on and on not people on here, I appreciate all the support and advice on here, Just dont appreciate it shoved down my throat constantly at home

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Saturday, December 5th 2009, 1:30am

Quoted

Originally posted by pamelag088


Seen so many people in tesco today and they all asked "is he good?" probably expectng me to say yes he is a dream, instead I stood there fighting back tears and just said when he wants to be :snigger:



Tell them to feck off!

I still get asked that now, 10 months in and I reply 'most of the time but when she's not she's a monster' :innocent:

BTW I can't express - and I'm still breastfeeding 10 months in so please please don't take it as in indicator of what you can produce -it's really not representative

x

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Saturday, December 5th 2009, 6:55pm

What's a "good" baby? Public opinion sems to be "a baby who eats (at reasonable times) sleeps( at least 3-4 hours at a time, preferably longer during the night) and doesn't cry for more than 5 minutes.
How can a baby be "good" or "bad"? Young babies don't decide how they behave - they have a strong survival instinct, and behave accordingly. The only way they can communicate their needs is to cry to get mum's attention. They know they have to feed frequently to establish a good supply of food. And sometimes they just need to know that mum's there.
Among "uncivilised" tribes who carry their babies in front, with skin to skin contact, and in easy reach of the boob, babies hardly cry at all. We expect far too much of ourselves. Reading your posts I see that you've all been out shopping etc., probably had loads of visitors, and not nearly enough sleep. You need to be kinder to yourselves - do NOTHING except look after yourselves and the baby. There's a lot to be said for the old "lying in period " that mums used to have,spending most of the time in the first few weeks in bed, and being looked after by a female relative. When I started my training, women stayed in hospital for 10 days after a normal delivery and a few days longer after a c/section. How does that sound !!

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Saturday, December 5th 2009, 7:28pm

What she said!!!^^^^^

Pammy, do you remember me posting this?

Quoted

A Babymoon: Establishing Breastfeeding

Take your baby to bed, for a week if you can. It sounds incredibly old fashioned but 40 years ago women were kept in hospital for ten whole days and weren’t allowed out until they were breastfeeding successfully. They came out of hospital confident, rested, bonded, healed and ready to face the world. We leave hospital after 6 hours, have women trying to cope with life, a new baby, visitors, family and housework ... and we call this progress.

Take your baby to bed, strip her off, lie her on your bare chest, wrap your dressing gown around you both, snuggle down with a magazine, a pint of water, a box of chocs, a sandwich and some daytime telly. Remain there for a week!


My Baby is Too Hungry!!

An innate urge to suck means that babies want to suck all the time. It’s comforting, keeps them warm, keeps them with their mother, keeps their food supply up, it’s comfortable, it feels, smells and tastes great. Why WOULDN’T your baby want to be on the breast all day?? Feeding every three to four hours isn't normal for a newborn, feeding constantly is. It isn’t a sign that your baby is too hungry, it isn’t a sign that you’re not making enough milk (if it is it quickly fixes itself) it’s not a sign that anything is wrong. It’s nature and it’s normal. The solution is to feed frequently to increase your supply. The more you feed the more milk your breasts will make. It takes anything for a day to a few days to increase a milk supply. Feeding less (topping up with formula) tells your body to produce less milk. After a few days things should begin to calm down.



Breastfeeding Basics - What to Expect





pamelag088

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Saturday, December 5th 2009, 7:54pm

Thanks Chris and Bells :D

You 2 are stars :D

I pretty much have been in bed this whole time :snigger: We go out for about an hour, hour and a half each day just for sanity purposes and always at the time TJ is hardest to settle around 11/12 and the car,pram etc settles him fine.

We are still living with my mum and am pretty much in my room all the time, mostly cuz I dont feed in front of anyone that and I dont trust myself carrying him up and down stairs cuz of my legs.

We also have 2 dogs in room with us as Bells you may remember quite a while ago I posted a particular thread about my doggy and he still not got it and he will just pee all over my mums house so have no choice but to have them in with us X(
Being at mums also makes it hard to let him cry esp at night cuz I dont want to disturb anyone else's sleep. even though she has told me countless times not to worry and it doesnt disturb her I still feel bad.

Thanks everyone for your wonderful support and advice, Im sure Il be back on this thread in a few days sobbing again :snigger: Think should change name of thread to Pammy's moaning breastfeeding diary :snigger:

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Saturday, December 5th 2009, 8:14pm

Quoted

Originally posted by pamelag088
should change name of thread to Pammy's moaning breastfeeding diary :snigger:

You call it what you like hun and say what you like here too!

For the first six months of my dd's life i was constantly worried about what i 'should' be doing and tried desperately to get her into one of those routine things that everyone talks about!! I must be honest with you, i wasn't very good at it and my dd still sleeps in my bed all night even though i've now stopped breastfeeding.... but do you know what? I don't care :P she likes being there and i like her there so that's where she sleeps!
What i'm basically saying is - PLEASE don't worry about what you think you 'should' be doing. TJ is your baby and all that's important is that you are both happy and healthy, everything else will come later.....i think!
These days when people ask me why on earth i let my dd sleep in my bed and have night feeds if she wants them, i just say "erm, have you not heard of attachment parenting? It's SO good you know" and then they wish they'd done it :snigger:

Oh and i'm pretty sure your lovely mum means it when she says "don't worry" :smile:




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Saturday, December 5th 2009, 8:18pm

Pammy, wish I could give you a big hug!

Even though you longed for, and are so very happy to have TJ, becoming a parent is a huge life changing event. I know it's easy for me to say, and I even have to remind myself of it lately (as I'm going through the whole young baby time again, with L!), but it does get easier, it really does.

It's hard when they are crying, and nothing seems to help, I know there were many a day, with a very young H, where I honestly had no clue what was wrong, the 'tick list of hungry/wet/tired etc' had been done and done again, and he was still crying! I felt like I 'got through' the day, and that was about it! I also remember not knowing what each of his cries meant, and when people said 'oh I bet you know all his different cries' I nodded and said 'yes' because this is what I thought I should say! and felt bad I didn't!......but, the early weeks passed, things settled down, and after a few months, I suddenly realised things were starting to 'click into place' (....I even knew what his different cries meant!!!)
Becoming a Mum is a steep learning curve, where you learn 'as you go along!'.
It is the most wonderful, but also by far the most difficult, demanding, perplexing, testing experience I've had in my life.

TJ is very tiny, and you are both getting to know each other. I remember being told that when starting breastfeeding, it's a bit like learning a dance with a new partner, and I think this also rings true of early parenting in general.

Every man, women and their dog! will have opinions on what you should/shouldn't do, what they did etc etc!!... And it can be downright annoying, confusing and demoralising to have to listen to it!.....But, after you've sat through it (and even though it's sometimes offered with good intentions) take a deep breath, and if you feel there is something they have said that can help you, well that's great! If not, stick to your guns, and go with what you feel is right!

Feeding, routines etc, with TJ being 2 weeks, I'd say, again, do what feels right for you, but just wanted to let you know, we had absolutely no routine for H or L, at 2 weeks of age. I fed them when hungry, they slept when they slept!!....and slept in our arms/slings/in our bed/moses basket etc etc!!!....and we tried to fit in some sleep, food and a shower ourselves!!
It actually took me alot longer than I though to get a really good routine going with H, and even when you have one, it often has to change and be flexible, as they grow, and different things get thrown into the mix!

I'll also put my hands up and say I find expressing really hard. Have done with H and L, and it has taken me many sessions of getting an oz at a time to get a stock of milk.
It's still very early days for you, in regards to expressing, so don't worry too much now, about how much you are managing to express. At the moment, as long as you are happy with how the bfing is going, there will be time to get to grips/try expressing later.
Right now, try to make sure you are getting as much rest as you can, and get your feet up when you can. Bells and Fi's Mum are spot on with their advice to try and rest up.

Oh, and you know you said you saw your friend looking fine, I'd take a guess that inside she's probably feeling a 101 different emotions too, probably really tired etc...there have been many times lately where I've been out and about, doing this, that, the other, and outwardly I look fine, but inside I'm trying not to burst into tears, I feel sooo tired that everything seems a vague fuzzy fog, and I'm basically 'going through the motions'.....whilst trying to remind myself that I'm not going mad, but that this is life with a young baby (and toddler!).

You really are doing a grand job, and everything you are feeling/going through, is part of being a new parent. We're all here, and will be to help you however we can xxx



<

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Saturday, December 5th 2009, 11:09pm

blowkiss

Thanks so much Laura and Michelle.

Its such a help reading your posts to know it does get easier, sometimes feels like a piece of cake(when everything us going perfect and he sleeping :snigger: ) and others I wonder how I will ever cope :snigger:

DH back to work Monday so this is last night I can expect his company at 4am, going to be strange just me and wee man and trying to figure out what to do with my time, DH car still "out of order" so he will be needing either my car or a lift at 7 to get him there, not exactly been pram weather either so will see how we get on.

I want to really really thank everyone who has taken the time to reply to me, I dont know where I would be without the support Iv had from everyone on here.

Thanks for making me feel normal when I felt like the only one and thanks for just being here :D

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Sunday, December 6th 2009, 6:03pm

newshy
Yes again. Don't worry Im not crying today(yet :snigger: )

Ok so everyone know TJ likes to suck himself to sleep, I have no problems feeding him which I am over the moon about, Instead of worrying as before about him not getting enough I am now starting to wonder about him getting too much.

Last night he fed for an hour before I got him off boob, He was absolutely stuffed and everytime I winded him he took up what I would call a "mouthful" not a proper sick just milk that just went down, He farts a lot too but doesnt seem to be uncomfy with wind just uncomfy as he is eating so much.

Today has been same he fed for about 40 mins and he was in his moses basket grumbling for ages before he fell asleep and sounded so uncomfortable with a full belly and guaranteed when I pick him up I will get a lovely sick stain down my back :snigger:

Am I overfeeding him? I so how big a problem is this? Am I doing him harm by allowing him to stuff himeself so much?

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Sunday, December 6th 2009, 6:20pm

Hi Pammy, You can't overfeed a breastfed baby :yumyum: If he eats too much he'll possibly overflow and will have lots of dirty nappies, so he gets rid of the excess. He won't be feeding for 40 minutes though. He'll take about 90% of a feed in 5-10 minutes. The rest of the time is comfort sucking and snacking. Does he just take one breast at a feed? If so, it could be worthwhile offering the other when he's at the stage of resting or comfort sucking more than actually feeding. That way he gets to finish his meal with a drink (foremilk from 2nd breast)
Glad to hear you're not crying today :smile:

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Sunday, December 6th 2009, 6:34pm

Thanks Chris

I thought that about him not feeding whole time, He seems to guzzle for only a short time before slowing down and hardly hearing any gulps for a while.

I have been finishing him off with 2nd boob, seems to get aggrivated at the same one for too long and starts coming off crying then on, 2nd boob normally sends him right to sleep :D but only after his on off carry on with 1st.

So I shouldnt worry about him being too full? He does poop a lot, in fact today is first time I have changed him that was just wet, I maybe get 8-12 dirty nappies a day, some of them are just wet farts though :snigger:

Still orangy, yellow in coulour is this ok?

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Sunday, December 6th 2009, 7:26pm

Yep, that colour is fine - like mustard (nice!)

I worried about overfeeding my dd too as she would spend so long on the boob (once she got the hang of latching on) and gained weight rapidly. She also had lots of dirty nappies but i spoke the doctor about that who said that a poo per feed is normal for a breatfed baby and that sounds like what your little boy is doing so that's great! My dd's weight gain slowed down eventually (although she's still a porker) and i've seen how much good that lovely breastmilk did her, she's been so healthy :smile:

You really are doing a great job you know!




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Sunday, December 6th 2009, 9:04pm

HI Pammy, just a thought - has your DH tried doing more of the settling? I know for us I had a hard time and I think it was cause mum was too exciting as was the source of food, there were boobies and milk smells... even today I cant rock him to sleep but most others can, esp men and my DH. Of course the other thing to try is getting DH to take him round the block in the car or stroller , obviously not every time but now and then its a good way to settle and calm them down.

Its all such a huge life change huh? It does get better but the first weeks are shockers its not just you! I over fed Cody and his still wants to overfeed himself all the time, the most clear sign of overfeeding is that his poop went bright green and like bits of spinach in there :-) Still the odd feed comes out like that. Not unusual for me to have 7-8 or more dirty nappies a day, every baby is different. Apart from giving him a bit of a sore tummy and waking up more with the pooping I dont think it hurts. The range of normal is huge for breastfed babies. Like Michelle, COdy gained HEAPS of weight in the first weeks (8 weeks - like up to 400grams a week!) only seems to be slowing down once he got to 3 months.

COdy often gets tetchy and comes on and off, on and off, whinging and going on. Its bloody irritating huh! I think with us he does it when hes uncomfortable, trying to poo (as hes often pushing his feet at the same time), or is too tired and trying to fight it and keep feeding. It can really draw out a feed though :-(

Youre doing fab, babies really just can be amazingly tetchy critters! Nothing wrong with a good cry now and then either, I think we all have a few of those moments :-) Thank goodness they grow fast through this early bit!
IVF/ISCI Nov08 BFP Cody born 8/09
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Sunday, December 6th 2009, 10:08pm

Thanks Michelle and Deidre

Deidre DH has never managed to settle him or my mum who sat with him for nearly an hour rocking and shh'ing but as soon as he feels anything near his face(whether he hungry or not) he just roots and sucks anything he can find. The car/pram does work, normally by time we get him in car he calm and asleep but dont want to rely on that for settling him or might end up in a much worse situation :snigger:

I think your right about on/off he deffo does it when he is overtired and I have no choice but to let him fret 10 mins til he ready to go back on boob again and then he normally settles, he can be very stubborn with his sleep when he tired :snigger:
He been in his moses basket for 2 hours, sleeping on and off and he been sick twice and moaning, grumbling, uncomfy sounds whole time, poor man.

Iv decided to set up a bedtime routine, we bathed him(in with mummy tonight :D ) and DH got him ready for bed while I washed etc then he fed and went down at 8, think this is a good time, not sure how his sleeping pattern will be during the night, he normally goes every 3 hours after 1 or 2am so he will prob wake at 11 and stay up an hour or 2. Im just rambling now :snigger: ( I blame tiredness :snigger: )

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Monday, December 7th 2009, 2:43pm

TJ has been awake for 8 hours so far today, I havent eaten, slept and have a headache from probably dehydration.

Boobs are totally empty and he gets really frustrated when I put him on, He has been sick all day and pooping like there is no tomorrow :snigger: I think he may have a sore tum, Only time he settles is after he has pooped and then its not for long and he starts screaming again.

Roll on 4.45 and DH coming home :sadface:




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