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  • "poptart" started this thread

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Reg: Jun 2nd 2007

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1

Wednesday, March 10th 2010, 7:26pm

Discipline for throwing toys

I want my child to respect his things so throwing toys or anything except a ball is a no no. At home if he throws something I tell him "no you are not to throw this" and then put it out of reach. My problem is what to do at playgroup? I can't really take away toys he's thrown and deprive another child of playing nicely with it but if I don't, how do I remain consistant? I'm wandering wether I should take him away from the toys by taking him home but at 17 months is it too early for him to understand that kind of disapline? Other children at playgroup throw things and their parents don't seem to mind which doesn't help, have I got this wrong?

What would you do?

PTxxx

TTC#1 Aug 02-Feb 08
Jan/Feb 08 - IVF#1 - BFP
It's A Boy

Oct 17th 08 - Baby Sam is born

pamelag088

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Wednesday, March 10th 2010, 7:37pm

I personally wouldnt take the toy away. Each time you take it away you take away his choice whether to throw the toy or not instead of teaching him to make the right choice.
My nephew is really bad for throwing and with my LO around a lot its dangerous as it may hit him, He nearly got a fork in the face one day. Keep being consistant. If he is throwing the toy to deliberatly defy you then I would take it away.
I think your right in wanting to teach him to respect his things and if playgroup lets him off with it then this could cause a problem but as long as you are consistent he will soon learn mummy doesnt tolerate such behaviour.

Indiechick

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Wednesday, March 10th 2010, 7:42pm

Hmm this is a difficult one as to some extent I expect my boys to throw things as I see it as part of the learning process, they are working out how heavy things are, distance, perception, noises when it clatters across the floor etc.

However one of mine has a habit of throwing his cup in anger/frustration across the room and I don't see this as acceptable. On these occasions I try to stop him before he's done it, I know when he's going to do it and I intervene with a 'Now Squeak, I hope your not thinking of throwing that? Why don't you eat your apple instead' (lol that just looks ridiculous talking sternly to a someone called Squeak :snigger:)

And so I think you need to determine if he's throwing them in a playful/learning situation or in an anger/frustration situation?

Personally I would think that leaving a group is quite harsh and I don't think your little man will be able to connect the two at this age. Could you sit him on your lap and explain why and ehn he's distracted put him back to play?


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Scan 09/09/08 - 2 [zx076] [zx076] TWINS!
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Pootle

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Wednesday, March 10th 2010, 8:23pm

DD2 is EXACTLY the same age as your little man and she sometimes throws things too. Mainly her cup off her high chair tray when she's finished! I agree with Indie and think its part of their development for example, 'if I throw this, does it fall to the ground?' I also think they're little but they're not silly and its part of their development in terms of pushing the boundries with adults and of course learning the wrong/right way to behave.

I think I'm more relaxed with DD2 than I was with DD1 so I just pick up the cup, take it away and tell her 'that was not good girl behaviour'. If she threw something actually AT someone I would take away whatever she had thrown and explain that she could hurt someone etc.

17 months is still quite little really and I think leaving playgroup might confuse him? I would possibly take the toy away, give it to another child or put it back in the toy box, tell him why throwing isn't ok and direct him to play with something else!

Hope that helps a little! Good to see you on FZ - how is S doing?

x






My family is complete...I am grateful every day

DD1, natural miracle, 2005
DD2, IVF miracle, 2008


  • "poptart" started this thread

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Wednesday, March 10th 2010, 10:40pm

Thanks everyone...yes he throws his cup too although we seem to have overcome this at least. When I think he's had enough I ask him if he's finished and if he has he closes the lid and I ask him to give it to mummy (if he's in his chair) or I ask him to put it back where he had it from and 99% of the time he does :) I tell him what a good boy he is and he claps his hands in agreement.

Re the toys I'm not sure what triggers it but once he's thrown one toy he'll throw one after the other in anger because toy one was taken away. The toys are put back while he's asleep so he gets a second chance to play nicley with the same toys and when he does he gets lots of praise. I have considered the fact that he's learning cause and effect and he's practising a skill but instinct tells me otherwise. He may only be little but I know he know's it's not allowed because he gives me THAT look just see how I react. He throws toys out of the bath too lol but once they've been thrown he doesn't get them back till next bathtime and we repeat the cycle. We have a throwing food issue too just sandwhiches as I haven't let him loose with a spoon yet lol!

I did think taking him home from playgroup was too harsh and would be to hard for him to comprehend which was why I asked for advise. We have a play group session tomorrow so when/if he starts I'll try taking him to a different area of the room (his playgroup has different sections ie creative, reading, rough & tumble, imagination, etc...) and see how we go.

Pootle - is that you Jodie????

PTxxx

TTC#1 Aug 02-Feb 08
Jan/Feb 08 - IVF#1 - BFP
It's A Boy

Oct 17th 08 - Baby Sam is born

Pootle

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Thursday, March 11th 2010, 7:45am

It is indeed me lovely! S sounds like he's doing really well!

x






My family is complete...I am grateful every day

DD1, natural miracle, 2005
DD2, IVF miracle, 2008


Indiechick

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Thursday, March 11th 2010, 9:36am

He sounds really switched on PT! How did today go?

x


3rd IUI - 08/08/08 - tested 22/08/08 BFP :D
Scan 09/09/08 - 2 [zx076] [zx076] TWINS!
2 beautiful boys born 16/04/09

  • "poptart" started this thread

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Reg: Jun 2nd 2007

Location: Stafford

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Thursday, March 11th 2010, 7:02pm

Well would you belive it he's been a model child all day bless him...playgroup was a dream he didn't throw a thing and he didn't throw anything out of the bath tonight either :) I'm so proud of him (and me lol) it might be, probably will be a diff story tomorrow but he's obviously starting to realise the conseqences of his actions.

I should really should post on here more often it's not the first time a problem's been resolved the day after posting lol.

PTxxx

TTC#1 Aug 02-Feb 08
Jan/Feb 08 - IVF#1 - BFP
It's A Boy

Oct 17th 08 - Baby Sam is born

Indiechick

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Thursday, March 11th 2010, 9:06pm

Aww bless him!

So funny how that works isn't, I'll have to remember that myself :happy:


3rd IUI - 08/08/08 - tested 22/08/08 BFP :D
Scan 09/09/08 - 2 [zx076] [zx076] TWINS!
2 beautiful boys born 16/04/09

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Friday, April 9th 2010, 11:09am

We have this a lot!! And he gives me that look as if to say here we go!

I tell him no give it back and then take it away if he throws it again. Hes the only one at baby group who throws (and has a temper tantrum when he doesnt get his own way which I ignore but very embarrassing compared to all the angelic little ones!!) x





Paris

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Wednesday, April 28th 2010, 8:11am

Hi PT, how you doing? its been ages! sorry to crash your thread but anyone got advice on smacking...... last night nathaniel kept going up to Dan and hitting him on the face and laughing, dan told him several times that it wasnt nice, bad boy etc etc, it didnt stop him, then he came up to me and did it, i tried the same as dan and nothing, then he did it again really hard so i tapped his face back, not a smack as i dont believe in smacking, almost like a heavy stroke if you will, anyway he burst into tears and came for a hug, he then didnt do it again, did i do the right thing? felt bad for making him cry but i have a 17 week old little girl and cant risk him doing the same thing to her. what do you think girls?
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Flic

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Thursday, April 29th 2010, 12:25pm

Hiya!

I think you did the right thing. At the end of the day kids test you and you need to nip stuff in the bud before it turns into something else. And now because you did it back he didn't like it, so he probably realised 'actually, I don't like it so they don't.' (if that makes sense)

One of my friends had an isses with her daughter biting and she'd tried the whole 'No' thing and then when she bit her again she 'bit' her back. Not properly but it made her realise and she stopped straight away.

I'm with you on the smacking. I think if you smack kids they will think thats what happens when you do something wrong and then might go around smacking other kids!






Our miracle was born on 25.02.2010!!



Paris

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Tuesday, May 4th 2010, 7:50am

thanks Flic, he hasnt doen it since so i guess it was the right thing to do. its hard this parenting thing isnt it? lol
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Flic

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Tuesday, May 4th 2010, 4:05pm

Tell me about it. I'm dreading O getting to the hitting age and having to lay down the law!






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Thursday, May 27th 2010, 12:21am

paris i think you defo did the right thing

im do believe 'spare the rod spoil the child'. now i dont mean being nasty etc, but i think children need firm boundaries and consequences to their actions. my 2 elders DSs i can take anywhere are polite well mannered etc. it is all to do with the consistency of the parents.

spoiled children are 1 thing but brats i cant stand!


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