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Mavis

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  • "Mavis" started this thread
  • United Kingdom

Posts: 8,115

Reg: Sep 15th 2008

Location: With the fairies

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Wednesday, July 7th 2010, 7:09pm

Tears at bedtime - one twin keeping the other twin awake!

Dear all,
Our girls are approaching 6 months now. We have a bathtime routine of a bath, followed by a bottle of milk in their bouncy chairs, and finally they are winded and bounced to sleep with a few lullabies. They are both usually asleep within one hour.

The problem is, the hour can seem very long and is stressful because Bethany has started to cry just as the routine begins (as we take her upstairs). She gets very upset, cries very loudly, and keeps Amelia awake (and I feel so sorry for A, she is visibly exhausted but can't sleep earlier because of the noise).

I think B might be overtired because she is only taking short naps during the day now, so I will try and make sure she gets more sleep. Is there anything else I can do? If it was one baby, I'd make sure she was clean, winded, and had a full belly, and then let her cry while I stay nearby (e.g. rocking her chair). But It's hard to do this with two because of the effect of the crying on Amelia.

I'd really appreciate some help!
Thank you xxxxxxx

My Diary
10 years, 5 cycles, and 3 beautiful children.
My family is complete :heart: :heart: :heart:

roxy7

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Posts: 1,044

Reg: Dec 1st 2008

Location: Sheffield

Children: DS born 11/06

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Thursday, July 8th 2010, 9:07am

I wonder about this, Mavis, as mine already disturb each other when they are in their moses baskets. Would it be possible to put them to sleep in separate rooms and then transfer one back? Or is that a really stupid answer...? My friend who had twins had to have one twin in her daughter's bedroom as she was sleeping through and the other in the baby nursery....

Having two babies really does complicate things. We're going camping this weekend and are encountering sleeping problems with that!

R x







Me 41, DP 42
Diagnosis PCOS and old age!
DS 11/06 (clomid)
Mm/c of natural pg 03/08
1st IVF 02/09 (ectopic)
FET 08/09 :BFP:
cs booked for 20/04/10

Duffymoon

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Posts: 9,468

Reg: Jun 11th 2007

Children: Boy/girl twins born 2010

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Friday, July 9th 2010, 8:31am

Hey Mavis

I don't know if this will help or not but if i've read the problem right and B cries from the outset of the bath routine then maybe try one of two things. Maybe bring the whole process forward a good half hour to an hour or alternatively feeding her before bath maybe a third to half the amount she takes normally might help?

In our early weeks I was giving my two naked time around 6pm (first to pee, first in the bath :D ), then feeding around 6.45 and they'd go straight down at 7pm. HOwever much of that hour was spent with screaming unhappy/hungry babies and was not the relaxing pre-bed routine I thought it would/should be! I now start any time after 5pm and if they're grizzling at that time I will give them 90ml of milk first. Baths are now smiley enjoyable experiences and come feed time, it's a very calm household! If they're fed by 6.30ish and still awake I just pop them in their chairs to let the milk go down but more often than not i'm carrying heavy, happy, fed children to their cot barely able to keep their eyes open! Even if they wake when i put them in their cot they're out with the fairies within 5/10 mins. Occasionally one baby may whinge a bit but I don't find the other baby not crying is ever affected. Amelia may not be able to drift off as easily with screaming B by her but it doesn't sound like she's getting grumpy about it.

Re the naps in the day bit, T could sleep for England, J is good but the lunchtime nap slightly less predictable. He definitely will go for an hour then stir and it's hit and miss if he'll carry on or not for another hour. I don't think there's any secret formula to getting them napping, all my friends babies nap at different times of day for different lengths. I think the time mine get up in the morning determines the sleep timings in the day for mine. Certainly for the morning and lunchtime nap I put them in their cot with blinds/curtains closed i.e. a dark room and I do half swaddle them as well which they like....well they don't seem to complain anyway. But unlike some routines you read about, I let the babies dictate when they want to sleep. I either look for the signs that they're ready for snoozing (grizzliness/staring into space or the obvious eyes shutting!) or if i'm out of the room and come back and find them asleep i will move them to their cot. There's one exception to that rule that if they're not showing signs by 12.30 i will put them in their cot, blinds shut and they always go to sleep.

I don't know if any of this will help but I have found if something isn't working then try different things and more often than not, you will find something that might not be perfect but certainly better than before!

Hope things get better for you hon :cuddle

xxx

Posts: 3,147

Reg: Jul 3rd 2008

Location: South West

Children: 2 beautiful twin daughters :)

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Friday, July 9th 2010, 9:50am

Hi Mavypoo,

I can't offer any help but I'd just like to say you are not alone!! Molly has really started to act up now at bedtime (before hip spica so I know it's not that). I have a similar routine to you, by the time feed time comes M takes 2-3oz then starts screaming, wailing and thrashing around and refuses to take more. This has a knock on effect as then she wakes at around 11pm hungry. The only thing that will settle her is a cuddle from Daddy as he's walking her around - then it takes a good few attempts at putting her in her cot as she tends to start screaming again and wakes Georgie.

I obviously don't want to start getting into bad habits but we're having to keep M up longer until she falls properly asleep in order not to disturb G.

I think Duffy's suggestion of giving some feed just before bath is quite a good one...today I am experimenting with giving M smaller quantities of milk more often to avoid said situation (added complication is that weaning is well underway) but Duffy's idea is more logical!

Good luck! When you find the magic solution be sure to let me know :snigger:


Moonshine


This post has been edited 1 times, last edit by "Moonshine" (Jul 9th 2010, 9:52am)


GemH

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Posts: 2,814

Reg: Nov 27th 2006

Location: Romford - Me 30. MC @ 14 wks Aug 03. 7 courses of Clomid all bfn, waiting for af to start iui when shock natural bfp. M/C 29/06/2010.Separated from ex-DH in 07/10. In a new(ish) relationship with an old friend and ttc no 2 :)

Children: George 21/11/2008 - my surprise natural bfp. Oliver 09/05/2013 - my little happy chappy

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Friday, July 9th 2010, 10:35am

Hi Mavis

I know I only have the one but G eventually got the the point where he couldnt wait for his bottle after his bath so I gave him some to tide him over then the rest once bath was finished so Duffymoons idea might work? Also the seperate room idea is a good one although if you having to do both babies at the same time then Im not sure how youd do it. x





Mavis

MEMBER

  • "Mavis" started this thread
  • United Kingdom

Posts: 8,115

Reg: Sep 15th 2008

Location: With the fairies

What's Up?
I need sleep!

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6

Wednesday, July 14th 2010, 8:54pm

Thanks sooooooo much everyone, you have transformed my evenings.
We now give the milk before bathtime, and if they don't finish the bottle we offer it again to them afterwards. There are far fewer tears, and we separate them if it looks like one will have a melt down.

My DH had suggested separating them before, and I immediately rejected it but as soon as you said it Roxy, I thought "Ah, that's a really good idea!". Poor DH :snigger:

Thank you thank you thank you all!
M
xxx

blowkiss

My Diary
10 years, 5 cycles, and 3 beautiful children.
My family is complete :heart: :heart: :heart:

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