You are not logged in.


Unread posts

Dear visitor, welcome to FertilityZone . If this is your first visit here, please read the Help. It explains in detail how this page works. To use all features of this page, you should consider registering. Please use the registration form, to register here or read more information about the registration process. If you are already registered, please login here.

  • "MissPurple" started this thread
  • United Kingdom

Posts: 762

Reg: Nov 12th 2009

Location: Huddersfield, UK

Children: Scarlett Holly born 25/12/2010

  • Send private message

1

Tuesday, January 25th 2011, 6:27pm

Help needed please!!

Scarlett is exclusively breastfed (watch this space)...
Recently I have started to express breast milk after every feed due to needing to have her stay at my mums house on Thursday.
We have tried her with a bottle of expressed breastmilk and she polished off a full 5oz and then continued to feed from me...
Today she is 4 weeks 3 days old.
An increasing number of days i have felt she has not been satisfied during and after feeds solely from me - she flails her arms here there and everywhere and there's no consoling her after feeds - it's like she's wired and eyes are so wide there's no stopping her. I have expressed my concerns to health visitor etc that i do not feel like I have enough milk - I feel flat - I now feel that no matter how many times I offer her each breast she just does not get full..
I do not believe it's colic - I genuinely think she isnt getting enough from me. After battling with her i gave in and topped her up with another 2oz expressed breast milk from the stash i'm giving my mum to feed her. She settled eventually after 3 hours breast to breast(10pm-1am) last night.

I am sick of hearing the "oh it'll be a growth spurt". I understand these do happen but I've managed before to satisfy her..(she apparently had a growth spurt at 2 weeks and 3 weeks..). more and more frequently she is becoming hungrier and hungrier.
I have asked my health visitor who put me in contact with a "brestfeeding consultant" - who doesn't have an answer for me and "didn't know what to suggest".
Today she has pretty much constantly fed - I've cried tears over her while feeding last night because she's becoming so irritated - all i've done with her is sat on the sofa alternaating breasts today as her "cues" are that she's still hungry. I'm shattered.

Anyhow to cut a long story short she has eventually settled again now, (every hour from 12.30pm this aft) she had a very brief 1/2 hour nap 3.30-4pm and then continued to want food.. DF is currently changing her nappy but she is still wriggling around stuffing her fists in her mouth and sticking her tongue out moving her head side to side..

She won't suck on our fingers or a dummy - she won't comfort herself enough to drop off to sleep on me..

I just don't know what to do.

Persevering is hard but I can barely keep my eyes open. She rarely naps during the day anymore and as I say, appears constantly hungry. It can't ALWAYS be a groth spurt??! Also I don't think it's colic - i'm still however giving her infacol and have dabbled with gripe water as her window of fussiness is 10/11pm til 2/3am.
I didn't wan't to formula feed but I feel tied to my sofa. I knew breastfeeding would be hard but it's getting me so down. If I were to switch to all formula fed could I just switch?? She takes a bottle and formula fine - as she does with expressed milk from a bottle.

Sorry to waffle on but it seems no-one (even the expert) can help me. If I were to switch to formula - and still expressed my milk for as long as I could (as I would very much prefer to give her breastmilk) - how long would it be before my milk "ran out".

Re: consoling her - I've tried everything in the book but nothing works apart from putting her in the car seat and driving around or going out for a walk with her in the pram ... both aren't practical for stupid o clock in the morning and I really feel i'm so tired it would be unsafe for me to drive.

:faint:
Natural :BFP: June 2011! biggrin2 bab21

  • "MissPurple" started this thread
  • United Kingdom

Posts: 762

Reg: Nov 12th 2009

Location: Huddersfield, UK

Children: Scarlett Holly born 25/12/2010

  • Send private message

2

Tuesday, January 25th 2011, 6:31pm

and just to add... she is filling many many nappies during each day.. I have yet to get her weighed this week but she is also gaining weight...she's gone from 6lb 14oz at birth down to 6lb 10oz (2.8% loss) from birthweight - back up to 6lb 14... to 7lb 9oz and last Thurday she was at 7lb 15.5oz.
Natural :BFP: June 2011! biggrin2 bab21

Gracie

MODERATOR

Posts: 5,839

Reg: Jul 15th 2007

Location: Hampshire

What's Up?
I now have double the trouble :)

Thanks: 27 / 1

  • Send private message

3

Tuesday, January 25th 2011, 6:41pm

Hey

Not sure I can really help either hun, but I didn't want to read and run. Freya is a greedy guts too and I had days like you are describing when she was about the same age. Could it be that she is sometimes just comfort sucking? Freya does this from time to time, it took me a while to learn the difference between the two.

Sounds like you are doing a brilliant job with the feeding, it IS really hard and very tiring at first but it will get easier.

Yup, Freya did lots of poo at first too, nearly every nappy, it's a good sign - it's settling down now to just one or two a day as she is getting older - I assume their digestive systems get a bit more establishing and used to actually working.

Sorry, not much help am I, sending you a :hugs: too!

Love Gracie

xxxxxxxxxx






Me - 40 AMH 1.79, DH - 45
TTC since 04/06
6 x TX to date, inc 2 DIVF in Barcelona

One early loss, 04/09
Freya Grace arrived on 6/11/10 - Perfect at 6lb and 1/2 oz

Amazing natural :BFP: on 12/02/12
Poppy Ann arrived on 13/10/12 - Born at home weighing 6lb 12oz

We got there in the end! happydance

    United Kingdom

Posts: 553

Reg: Nov 22nd 2008

Location: Worthing, West Sussex

Children: 2 Beautiful Babies. One of Each!

  • Send private message

4

Tuesday, January 25th 2011, 8:14pm

I breast fed my two until they were 6 months old, not only breast though, one would have breast the other bottle and then i would switch or sometimes they would both breast.Sometimes expressed milk, sometimes formula. I never felt that i had enough milk and by 6 months i was totally sure that they were not getting enough from me. I knocked breast on the head as i choose it was best for me and the babies, i just changed to formula, no problems at all. Is there a MILK clinic near you, they are normally walk in clinics/groups that support the breast feeding mummy. It may be something only local to me but i would guess you would have something similar. Most importanat is that you are doing a great job and you have done so well so far. But the decision must be what is best for you. Good luck with whatever you decide to do.
bab15 bab16 Sa-Leanne xx

bubble

Megastar

    United Kingdom

Posts: 12,910

  • Send private message

5

Tuesday, January 25th 2011, 8:21pm

Hi Miss Purple

Poor you, you sound exhausted. I know this doesn't really help you but what you describe is normal and I reckon almost all, if not all, breastfeeding mums have had similar thoughts and doubts about their ability to satisfy their child.

Firstly it's clear that she is getting enough because she's putting on weight really well. Any change to more frequent feeding at any stage is generally down to a growth spurt (yes I know, those dreaded words) and she's trying to increase your supply. She has to feed more frequently to get your supply to increase but it will do that and and then the feeding frenzies should calm down again a little.

So I wouldn't worry about frequent feeding, but being on the breast constantly as you've described doesn't sound right. She will probably only be actually feeding for a fraction of that time, and the rest is comfort sucking.

To try and get her out of that hait (if thats what you want, some mums are happy for the boob to be used for comfort sucking) you need yo try taking her off when she starts doing just little nibbly sucks rather than long feeding ones. If you then just hold her close with her cheek against your breast she'll start to recognise that cudddles are comforting too. You might want to perservere with the dummy as well, or encourage her to find her thumb. What you want to be aiming for is shorter feeds and/or lengthening the time between feeds. It's as much of a learning experience for her as much as you.

Don't worry at all about your milk supply, as long as your baby is suckling frequently you will have enough of the good stuff (even when they feel empty).

Breastfeeding is time consuming at the beginning and it does feel as though you are tied to the sofa but as she gets a little bit bigger, starts going a bit longer between feeds and starts finding a routine you will find that it is much easier. It would be worth finding a breastfeeding group near you that you can attend so you can hear from other mums at similar stages and get advice from a professional advisor.

x

ps you need to make sure you are looking after yourself too. Plenty of good foods, fluids, chocolate.

ttc since July 06. 8 cycles of clomid. BFP on cycle 5 (Dec 07) ended in m/c at 9.5 weeks. Second BFP on cycle 8 (May 08)




    United Kingdom

Posts: 15,284

Reg: Sep 24th 2006

Location: Up to my armpits in ironing

Children: Three gorgeous daughters!

Thanks: 100 / 90

  • Send private message

6

Tuesday, January 25th 2011, 9:38pm

Aww hun it sounds like you're having a hell of a time. :sadface: Bubble has given you some great advice and I can't add to what she has said but I did want to say that I found BF the same as you to start with, it was around 6 weeks when things started to settle down for us. I bought a baby sling which helped me feel like I had a little bit of freedom in the house and out and about because you can BF discreetly and get on with things.

I really hope you find something that works for you.

xxx


Angel baby April 07, Angel baby December 07, DD1 August 09, DD2 March 11, DD3 October 13

mrsjasper

Megastar

Posts: 8,532

Reg: Nov 2nd 2005

Location: Lancashire

Children: 2 gorgeous girls

Thanks: 15 / 4

  • Send private message

7

Tuesday, January 25th 2011, 9:39pm

Hiya from me also,
Apologies for the short reply, I am using the phone. The only thing I would add to the excellent advice above is to check your positioning. A common mistake at this stage is to lie baby on her back so that she has to turn her head to feed. Make sure her tummy is towards you so her spine is straight. Also, if you can, get to a breastfeeding group and have someone check she is latching on properly.

Posts: 101

Reg: Aug 9th 2008

Location: West Yorkshire

  • Send private message

8

Wednesday, January 26th 2011, 3:08pm

I dont know any magic answers but just wanted to say, i know exactly how you feel, reading your post i could have written it myself. My baby is a week older and it is getting easier, although we have periods 2 or 3 times a day where he feeds on and off and on and off for a couple of hours then wont settle for ages, i have tried everything, infacol, gripe water, colief, walking upstairs, rocking, only thing that works is like you say driving, but i cant do that when im exhausted!!. The last few days it has been easier as he is having longer sleeps at night so im not as tired. Everyday i say im going to stop BF and move to bottles, but i really dont want to. It was the same with my daughter (now 21 mths) but it did get better and i fed her until she was 13mths, it just seems right now that im always feeding or comforting him. Can you express some milk and get someone else to feed him one feed overnight so you can have a few hours uninterrupted sleep, my hubby has been doing this for a few nights now, and although its still hard in the day i do feel im coping better.
It will get easier, try and carry on it will be worth it in the end.
I know BF extremists will disagree with me but i dont think the odd bottle of formula given by someone will harm if it helps you to stay sane, and may keep you breastfeeding for longer as you wont be so tired.

Posts: 2,681

Reg: Feb 24th 2008

Location: Cheshire

Children: 1 baby girl

Thanks: 1 / 5

  • Send private message

9

Wednesday, January 26th 2011, 3:42pm

Hi there

Sounds like you're going through a really tough time. I've been there too, it is so tough. I was paranoid that Meg wasn't getting enough milk from me but she kept putting weight on so obviously was. I'd say just keep at it, you will get through this phase. I found that handing her to DH when she started comfort suckling really helped because she would cry a bit but he could cuddle her and settle her eventually. At the moment she is just associating you with food which is right but hard work for you. You could also hand her to DH to put her in the pram to take her for a walk? Just 15 minutes may settle her enough and make her realise she doesn't need your breast all the time. She may cry but as long as you and DH can bear it it is ok for her to cry for a little bit. It can be tough though.
Regarding her not sleeping - I know you say it isn;t colic but does she have a lot of wind? Meg didn;t have colic but sometimes was so windy and it really upset her. I started to really watch what I was eating and cut back on food that coupld cause that like spicy food or green veg. It helped. I also made the mistake of drinking loads of cups of tea a day as I was so tired but i think the caffeine didn;t help Meg either and kept her awake or grouchy at night.
If you dont have enough milk to leave her at your Mums on Thursday night then leave some formula, there is nothing wrong with her having formula.

You are doing a wonderful job, you will get through this, I know it may not feel like it at the moment and you're probably sick of people saying it but it WILL get easier soon, I promise.

2 ectopic pregnancies - 2005 & 2009
beautiful daughter born Sept 2010 thanks to IVF
IVF#3 April/May 2012 - BFN
IVF#4 in Oct/Nov 2012



MY DIARY





  • "MissPurple" started this thread
  • United Kingdom

Posts: 762

Reg: Nov 12th 2009

Location: Huddersfield, UK

Children: Scarlett Holly born 25/12/2010

  • Send private message

10

Wednesday, January 26th 2011, 8:01pm

Thank you all for your prompt replies - and sorry its taken me ages to respond.

(Sorry there are no personals), but in response :
It has been checked several times by various professionals and no fault has been found with positioning or attachment.
It is tough having her cry but I think it may have been myself prolonging this as I wasn't really noticing that it was comfort sucking after a feed - and instead of indeed comforting her I was working myself up alongside her when she wouldn't have my breast to feed "properly" again. Passing her to DF really does help (luckily he had 4 weeks from work but will be going back on Sunday :S )
I'm going to make every effort to get out more - even if it is just for that one 15min walk myself. I need to stop staring at the four walls and it also helps her nod off :innocent:
*Sigh* my intentions at the beginning were to breastfeed only. In reality I can't cope and it's not working. I think I will introduce formula on a night, slowly, know that she has a full tummy (and express and freeze from the missed feed). During the day i'm still sticking to breastfeeding as the above is a decision I never wanted to be faced with. Making the decision has already made me feel calmer and less stressed which can only be a good thing?
BF groups aren't for me. I would't feel comfortable attending, it's just not for me. It's been advised by my h/vis also and I declined which is why the 1 on 1 support home visits keep occuring with the b/f consultant. She will be calling tomorrow after S's weight check just to keep an eye on me..

My DF has finally accepted that i'm struggling and I now think he understands how worn out I am - he is too with broken nights but he can see how much BF ties me down. He has knuckled down and does the housework - cooks the food and takes her from me at every opportunity. For this i'm truly thankful - he was under my feet at one point but now I don't want him to return to work!


I'll definately be bearing in mind that her weight gain means that everything is fine - its just about the only reassuring thing that keeps me going each week. That and the promise from may that it will get better... :)
I'll be hopefully refreshed from my one nights full sleep that I get tomorrow and can hopefully reassess the situation.

Last night was amazing - she must have read my post :P ...- she went down at 10.30pm and woke to feed at 2am and again at 6.30am and 8am- no fussiness, not a peep other than wake, change, feed. She then today has napped 3 times, at 11am, 3pm and 7pm. My intentions are to keep to a little routine i've devised of bath, feed, bed (at night from 8pm). And stick at it.
I have noticed a change re: feeds and how long she is sucking for - most definately purely for comfort when shes been going a while. Passing her to DF helps - she settles and promptly falls asleep when she's content.

She's in her moses basket and its as if I was making a big deal out of nothing. We've been out and about today and seen friends and got so much done.

Fingers crossed she's turning a corner but i'm not overly optimistic. In reality this is probably a fluke one-off and a coincidence. I do feel much calmer about it all though from reading your replies.

Thanks guys - lots of wonderful suggestions and advice for us to try out. Sorry if i've not answered any of your questions - but really, thank you for taking the time to help me out! [zx127]

Bath time for a little madam :D
Natural :BFP: June 2011! biggrin2 bab21

Gracie

MODERATOR

Posts: 5,839

Reg: Jul 15th 2007

Location: Hampshire

What's Up?
I now have double the trouble :)

Thanks: 27 / 1

  • Send private message

11

Thursday, January 27th 2011, 5:15pm

Hey

Sounds like your DF is being a great support! You sound more positive today too, glad your little miss had a better night. She will settle down and it will get easier. Your night feeds sound similar times to Freya's and she is now only up once a night, I even get the odd long sleep (seven hours is the current record!)

I know it's a bit of a cliche but there's a lot to be said for that old WW2 poster - Keep Calm and Carry On! It works for me so there must be something in it.

Keep going, you are doing a fab job!

xx






Me - 40 AMH 1.79, DH - 45
TTC since 04/06
6 x TX to date, inc 2 DIVF in Barcelona

One early loss, 04/09
Freya Grace arrived on 6/11/10 - Perfect at 6lb and 1/2 oz

Amazing natural :BFP: on 12/02/12
Poppy Ann arrived on 13/10/12 - Born at home weighing 6lb 12oz

We got there in the end! happydance

Similar threads




FERTILITYZONE



MEDHURST – PROUD HOSTS OF FERTILITYZONE