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  • "Gemma1" started this thread

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Thursday, February 3rd 2011, 3:36pm

health visitor . . . dont understand what she is saying

I got LO weighed today and she has remained the same weight as last week. HV told me that I am doing to much and therefore burning off to many calories hence LO not gained any weight this week and is also the reason I have mastitis AGAIN. Is she correct . . .

The breast feeding MW has told me this is rubbish and to take no notice. Im in tears because I dont know who to beleive

I go for a walk most days with LO as the fresh air is good her us both, I dont do any other exercise, I eat well etc etc

Its all getting ontop of me as I really dont know what else I can do, plus the mastitis is back and hurts like hell

Any advise or comments from you would be appreciated
:cat:

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Thursday, February 3rd 2011, 5:05pm

Well, I've never heard of that as a reason for a baby not gaining weight or a mum getting mastitis before (although I can see how you are more suspectible to mastitis maybe if you are run down). If you were properly malnourished (and I'm thinking starving 3rd countries here) then your milk wouldn't be of great quality but as a reason for baby not putting on weight in your case I find it absurd.

I would believe your breastfeeding MW on this one. I would also be tempted to report the HV for the advice she's given you. (Unless someone I trust comes on here and says that she's actually right!).

Have you been back to the GP to get the mastitis treated?

x

ttc since July 06. 8 cycles of clomid. BFP on cycle 5 (Dec 07) ended in m/c at 9.5 weeks. Second BFP on cycle 8 (May 08)




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Thursday, February 3rd 2011, 5:15pm

That to me also sounds very wrong, You are not over exerting yourself, a nice walk with LO will do you both the world of good.
I agree with Bubble and follow ehat your BF lady has told you, I agree to report the HV as she is giving you false information and Making you cry.
A health visitor is supposed to be there to support you not upset you.
How old is your little one?? Although you would expect a baby to gain a little they also develop new things whoch burns of more energy, she has not lost which is great news. Mastitus again I would agree with Bubble, talk to a GP xx
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Thursday, February 3rd 2011, 6:05pm

I got LO weighed today and she has remained the same weight as last week. HV told me that I am doing to much and therefore burning off to many calories hence LO not gained any weight this week and is also the reason I have mastitis AGAIN. Is she correct . . .


What odd advice. Logically, you burning off calories won't affect your milk. It's not like you're a camel and those humps of yours are being used up as energy reserves now is it? 8|

Now then, IF you're tired out, not eating, not drinking, doing a all the housework, worrying, feeding 24/7 and feeling run down, maybe then your milk quality is going to suffer 'a little' but that doesn't sound like what's going on in your case. (and that's only because those things usually mean that feeding patterns aren't optimal)

Quoted

The breast feeding MW has told me this is rubbish and to take no notice. Im in tears because I dont know who to beleive


Conflicting advice is absolutely the number one reason that women give up breastfeeding and it's really no surprise. You're working hard, at your lowest ebb and usually constantly worried that you're getting it wrong. It doesn't sound to me like you're doing anything wrong at all, quite the oppsite in fact.

Quoted

I go for a walk most days with LO as the fresh air is good her us both, I dont do any other exercise, I eat well etc etc


Lovely! ^^

Quoted

Its all getting ontop of me as I really dont know what else I can do, plus the mastitis is back and hurts like hell


Take as many painkillers as you're allowed to, go back to the doctors to get some antibiotics, feed as much as you can from that side to keep the milk ducts working (I know it hurts) and try hot/cold flannels on the breasts. Is baby latching on ok? Is the mastitis perhaps where baby's chin is pressing or perhaps where your bra sits?

Quoted

Any advice or comments from you would be appreciated


Next time you see the HV, ask her very nicely if she has breastfed her own children. I'll stick a fiver on her saying no ;)

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Thursday, February 3rd 2011, 6:48pm

Hey

Can't really add anything to what the others have said, just wanted to write a reply as I read your post earlier and it made me cross (couldn't reply at the time as only had one hand free!)

I do sometimes wonder about what these HVs have to say, I am sure there ARE plenty of good ones out there somewhere but my experience of them has not been great either (long story but if I'd had the time and the energy I would have put in a complaint!). I am not sure they realise that what they say is taken to heart by us all and one careless comment and really cause a lot of worry and upset.

It sounds to me like you are doing a great job so keep going and take the advise of your midwife and GP. Hope your mastitus clears up soon. Sending :hugs:

Love Gracie

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Thursday, February 3rd 2011, 7:03pm

My DD didnt gain any weight for the first 3 weeks and the HV kept telling me that there could be something wrong with her - this is a HV with no children!!! SPoke to the midwife(with children) who told me to swap the sandwiches for pasta and eat a bar of chocolate or have a cake everyday. I wasn't doing any excercise at all, could barely get out for a little walk, but my body was burning all the calories and was leaving my milk with less calorific value, hence no weight gain for baby.

I started doing this and hey presto, 3 oz put on 1st week then 6 1/2oz 2nd week!!!!!

The mastitus could be that baby isn't latched on properly so isnt drawing enough milk from the back of the breast which could also be another reason for no weight gain.

Have you got a local BF clinic near you?? they are usually the best places for advice and latching tips.




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Thursday, February 3rd 2011, 8:04pm

I think the HV is talking rubbish. You sound very healthy to me. Does your baby empty the boob when you feed so they get the really fatty milk? If not that could be why you've got mastitis again too. Hope you feel better soon xxx

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  • "Gemma1" started this thread

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Friday, February 4th 2011, 7:42am

Thanks all for the support

LO is 8 weeks old on saturday and weighed 8 lb 4 ox when born and now weighs 9 lb 8 oz and last week put on 7 oz

The breast feeding is getting me down so I think I might look into formula feeding of a night. The breast feeding MW I spoke to did say she was going to have a word with the HV

Will finish this off in a minute as LO is crying!
:cat:

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  • "Gemma1" started this thread

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Friday, February 4th 2011, 8:09am

Im back . . . .

I just feel like I cant do right for doing wrong. I know I eat well and dont drink/smoke so what more does she want from me. Im also not even thinging of loosing the baby weight at the mo although because I eat well I am only about 10 lb over my normal weight anyway

I did say to her that if I was not going out the house then she would moan at me for that and she said I need to find a happy medium. Its getting me down as I am honestly trying so so hard with the breast feeding I feel like Im letting LO down if I stop but I do think its starting to make me a bit depressed and I dont want LO to sense that or for it to make me ill, hence I may start doing formula of a night or something

I asked HV if she was concerned about LO in any way including her weight (as I will obviously do what ever is right for her) and she said no not in any way and not to let what she had said to me to upset me but I do need to take things easier. She said to not go out for a walk from now till after the weekend and see if it makes a differance at LO weigh in next week. I think this is ridiculous. My hubby is doing all the cleaning in the house, all Im doing is tidying up, the washing, washing up and putting the vac around a few times, this is not over doing it in any way, and of course seeing to LO. I havent expressed due to the mastitis coming and going

The MW said that LO weight gain is fine, and she is doinging everying she should be for her age. She has her injection next week and I have my check up so will speak to GP then but it is will making me a bit depressed at the mo so I need to do what is right for me

I appreciate you all posting on her x
:cat:

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  • "Gemma1" started this thread

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Friday, February 4th 2011, 8:16am

I forgot to say that I go to 2 BF groups and the MW's have checked the latching on etc and all is fine
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Friday, February 4th 2011, 8:18am

Im in tears because I dont know who to beleive


You will be told lots of things by different people that contradict each other, or feel plain wrong. Always question, and go by what you trust.
To me, what your HV has said sounds like an absolute pile of tosh! What new mum is not running around?!

(In my humble opinion, I'd listen to your family, friends, GP, nurse, midwive... and give their opinions more weight than the HV's. I hate to say that, and it is not the HV's fault, but their job has changed and the way they are assessed means quite often they do not give out the best advise).

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Friday, February 4th 2011, 8:58am

BIG HUGS XX

As an aside I feel I have to stick up a little bit for the good HVs as I have a fantastic one here and she has been brilliant right from the start.

Though that obviously isn;t going to help you Gemma as you don't have my HV!

Right sweetie, I would say you are doing just fine (fantastically well to be bf through mastitis pain). As the others have said, trust your instincts above all else. Regardless of what anyone else says, would you like your LO to be putting on a little more weight? I don't believe that missing out a couple of walks is going to do that and, if youa re honest, neither do you, do you? So, if you and your baby enjoy them then continue with them. Do you think that eating a little more/differently yourself might help with the weight gain? If you do or you want to see if it does, then try it but if you don;t believe it will make any difference then don't change a thing. All I am saying is that take a minute to think about what is bothering you and what you want to do about it. If you are happy with the way your LO is progressing, no matter what anyone else says, then don;t change a thing. But if the HV has touched on something that maybe you were worrying about anyway then have a think and decide what you want to do about it, e.g. introduce a nighttime formula feed. On one of your walks, maybe, mentally assess your day's routine and what you like and don't like about it. Then see if there is anything you can do to eliminate or reduce the parts you don't like. If there's nothing that can be done at the moment, e.g. baby waking at 3am so not getting enough sleep, then think about whether it is something that you think will last forever or will only need to be endured for a period of time. If you are able to rationalise or organise your negative thoughts they might not seem so overwhelming.

xxxx


me 38, DP 44, ttc since 2005
BFP May 07 - HB seen @ 8 wks but CRL only 7 weeks, m/c @ 9 wks
BFP Jan 08 -m/c @ 11 wks (D&C)
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  • "Gemma1" started this thread

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Friday, February 4th 2011, 9:11am

thanks both

I dont think LO has put on loads of weight although to see her she is fine, that is the only negative thing I have to say as everything else is fine (apart from the matitis of course). I am going to start formula feeds in the evening and see how I get on

x
:cat:

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Friday, February 4th 2011, 9:16am

good luck! And, remember, the HV is not an authority figure who must be obeyed. This is your baby and what you choose to do with her during the day, how you feed her, etc, etc is entirely your own decision.

xx


me 38, DP 44, ttc since 2005
BFP May 07 - HB seen @ 8 wks but CRL only 7 weeks, m/c @ 9 wks
BFP Jan 08 -m/c @ 11 wks (D&C)
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Friday, February 4th 2011, 10:18am

Hi Gemma1,



I know how you feel. I had problems when I was BF my son (he's now 4) and I still go round in circles trying to work out what it was that went wrong (and I'm a Midwife!). The advice from your HV doesn't sound like the best, but perhaps she just hasn't got enough knowledge about BF (you would think they would have to, but I guess they need to know a lot of other things too). Your BF Specialist Midwife is probably the best person to speak to. I found the Breastfeeding Network website to be really useful (and I rang them one time too, they were very nice.) Everyone has their own opinion, thoughts and ideas about BF, so unfortunately you will get what seems like conflicting advice.



I hope this doesn't sound daft but are you sure it's mastitis and not just engorgement? Do you have a temperature and feel unwell? Best to get it checked out with the GP as you'll need antibiotics if it is mastitis.



As for using formula, well that of course is your choice and no one should ever criticise you for it. I would just say though that the problem with using formula is that your breasts will still fill with milk and if your baby misses a feed this can then lead to more engorgement, more pain etc. A good latch is of course very important and the first step, but it's also important to see that your baby is actually actively feeding and swallowing and not just falling asleep and nibbling. I'm sure that you know what you're doing though as you've managed to BF for 8 weeks now, that is fantastic and you should be really proud of yourself!



Weight gain. This is one of my bug bears! I hated those scales at the clinic and I think they should be banned!! My son was very slow to put on weight and it lead to a lot of stress (but that's my story for another time!) If your baby is alert, having lots of wet and dirty nappies and generally seems well then I wouldn't worry too much about the weight. Some weeks they can put on a lot and others very little, but it doesn't mean there is anything wrong.



Getting out in the fresh air is good for you, so you go out when you feel like it!



I hope you feel better soon. Don't put too much pressure on yourself. I know it's really hard.



Let me know if there's anything I can help you with.



Take care, love, macD xx

  • "Gemma1" started this thread

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Friday, February 4th 2011, 1:58pm

Thank you

It is mastitis as Ive been to the doc with it and the emergency doctor the first time it happend

I just feel a bit of a failure as I know my milk will get less and less but if its making me feel like this then it is for the best if I eventually stop. LO is doing great and Im loving all the smiles she give out

Thank you all for the support x x x x
:cat:

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Friday, February 4th 2011, 2:18pm

If it helps at all, I know loads of people who have been successful with mixed feeding. It was something I really wanted to do but unfortunately my little girl would often refuse to take a bottle so it ended up not being practical for us. Yes, it can be tricky at first with your breasts getting used to the 'change in use' but if you are planning to give her a bottle of formula for the same feed every day then it really is possible to do this and continue with breastfeeding the rest of the time.

xx


me 38, DP 44, ttc since 2005
BFP May 07 - HB seen @ 8 wks but CRL only 7 weeks, m/c @ 9 wks
BFP Jan 08 -m/c @ 11 wks (D&C)
BFP Jun 08 - early loss
BFP Dec 08 - HB & CRL ok @ 8 wks, but sac too small, m/c @ 9 wks
BFP Apr 09 - Martha born 9th Jan 2010
BFP Feb 12 - Eliza born 13th Oct 2012

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Friday, February 4th 2011, 7:34pm

Hello again, sorry to hear you are still upset about the conflicting advice you resceived.
Touching on what Jensqui just said about being successful with mixed feeding - I am one of those people.
Although slightly different as i have twins and i felt that i had not enough milk for both. I BF until they were 6 months but from when they came home from hospital (7 weeks) i varied each day, One day i would top up with formula after BF both, another day i would BF one and formaula the other, on another day i would alternate each baby between BF and formula. whichever was best for that day. I beat myself up about this for a long time as the old debate of breast is best but in my case solely bresat was definately not best for ME. and looking back on your post at 8:09 you too need to do what is best for you.
No one is there to judge you so you should not judge yourself, you have done great so far!!!!!!!
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Friday, February 4th 2011, 8:39pm

I just wanted to add to what the others have already said, taking a walk in the fresh air will only do you good. People taking much much more excersise BF with no problems, your body will feed the baby first, you will lose weight but not the baby, unless you are malnourished to start. Dont stop the walking, it will do you more good to get out and have the fresh air.

macD

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Saturday, February 5th 2011, 12:13am

Dear Gemma1,



You are definitely NOT a failure! Everyone knows that breast MILK is best for baby, but that doesn't mean that breastfeeding is best. You have to be happy with it too. There is so much more to being a great mum than breastfeeding. Don't beat yourself up about it, it's really not worth it.



You have given your baby a great start in life that will last for a long time. Be proud of yourself.



Take great care, love, macD xx

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Saturday, February 5th 2011, 4:50pm

Hi Gemma,
I agree with MacD ( I'm also a m/w - retired) - scales should be banned!! Breastfed babies don't always gain weight at a regular rate - so some weeks can put on loads of weight, then nothing other weeks. Provided your baby seems alert and well, and has plenty of wet nappies and the odd dirty one, her weight gain is irrelevant. I didn't take my babies to be weighed except when they were due a check or jabs. As for the mastitis - do you get blocked ducts? If so, gently massaging/stroking over the lumpy bit during a feed can help clear it and avoid mastitis developing.

  • "Gemma1" started this thread

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Monday, February 7th 2011, 3:58pm

Im very sad to be stopping breast feeding

Well unfortunatly I had to go to hospital yesterday as I have mastitis in both breasts and I could no longer bare the pain. All I have done is cry and then cry some more as I love breast feeding LO but this is the 6th time I have had mastitis and it has just wore me down and I am very low and I have made the very hard decision to stop bf-ing. I am very diserpointed and deeply upset to be stopping bf but I know I must do it for myself as the mastitis is reocuring and making me very ill :-( :bawl: . I have bf for 8 weeks and I wish I could continue but I cant

Thank you all for you support
:cat:

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Monday, February 7th 2011, 4:10pm

Gemma I am so sorry you've had such a hard time, mastitis sounds awful let alone to have it 6 times in 8 weeks. :sadface: You mustn't feel bad for making this decision, you have done a fantastic job in BF your LO for 8 weeks despite the mastitis and all the pain you've been in, most people would have stopped long before you have. You should be proud of yourself! :happy:

I hope your health improves soon and you can really start to enjoy being a mum. :smile:

xxx


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Monday, February 7th 2011, 4:34pm

I think you're amazing to have breastfed for so long with all those bouts of mastitis!!!!! I can understand your disappointment but I'm sure you'll look back and feel very proud you lasted so long. Take care and enjoy your baby xxx

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Monday, February 7th 2011, 5:59pm

Absolutely, loads of mums would have quit ages ago so please don't be too hard on yourself. Hope you feel better soon.

macD

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Monday, February 7th 2011, 7:29pm

Dear Gemma,



I know that was a difficult decision for you and you'll be feeling awful at the minute. But you must look after yourself too. You have done a fantastic job to BF for so long!!



I hope you feel better soon. Be proud of yourself and tell your DH that we all think you are amazing!



Take care, love, macD xx

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Monday, February 7th 2011, 7:39pm

Well done on doing a whole 8 weeks!!! You should feel proud, you have given LO a great start in life, hope you start to be in a lot less pain very very soon, take care xx
bab15 bab16 Sa-Leanne xx

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Monday, February 7th 2011, 8:43pm

Thanks all x x x x

I can nearly lift my arms now so im feeling much better, the pain isnt as constant, and I havent cried today which is a good sign. LO has taken really well to bottles/formula which has eased my stress

I appreciate all the support [zx127]
:cat:

1x IVF zero fert, 2x ICSI BFN, 1x FET BFN, 1x ICSI early loss

March 2010, FET , :BFP:, we have a little princess x




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