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  • "Janniewall" started this thread

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Sunday, February 6th 2011, 9:41am

Not sleeping through the night, HELP!

I really need some advice, our twins continue to wake up every 4 hours for feeding, they both seem to be hungry and will drink about 150ml each when they do wake up. They are 3months old, so I expected them to go longer now, and everyone I know seems to have babies who slept through the night from about 7weeks. They were 4weeks early, but not sure if that makes a difference.



I am now back at work, and both DP and I are getting increasingly tired due to the broken sleep and stuggle through the day. Both babies have been bottle fed since birth and I stopped expressing about 2 weeks ago, but they did not seem to notice the difference between combination feeding and fully formula feeding.



Both are good size babies and eat a lot during the day. O is 15lb5oz and takes about 180ml-200ml each feed during the day. E is 12lb10oz and takes about 150ml-170ml during the day.



I just wonder if anyone has any tips for getting them to sleep for longer periods. I just want one good nights sleep so I can start functioning as a normal human being again!

Jannie
Aug 09 - IUI - BFN
; Oct 09 - ICSI - BFN; Jan 10 - ICSI cancelled;
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Sunday, February 6th 2011, 10:38am

Hiya,

Unfortunately not all babies sleep through. And some do still need a feed. Especially as they're still only little, I don't think O slept through until about 4 months and that was a gradual thing, she was waking up every 3 - 4 hours and then gradually it got longer and longer.

I know Grace's J didn't sleep through for months and he needed a feed early in the morning.

I would say that they are doing exactly what they should be doing. But obviously that doesn't help you or DP. It could be they're having growth spurts.

How many feeds and how often do they feed during the day?






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Sunday, February 6th 2011, 10:46am

Sleeping through at 7 weeks? I thought babies only did that on TV or in films! My DD certainly didn't sleep through at 7 weeks, we'd have the odd 8 hour night when she was about 4-5 months old but nothing regular. For us it was more like 11 months when she started to sleep through and there have been a few blips like when she was teething, then I had 6 weeks of her only sleeping 2-3 hours at a time.

I know you say you are working but is there anyway you could have a nap on some days? The only way I get through the sleep deprivation is to nap when my DD is, yes that means the housework doesn't get done but at least I don't feel as bad and am in a better frame of mind.

I hope things settle down for you soon and you get some decent sleep.

xxx


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Sunday, February 6th 2011, 12:35pm

Hey Jannie

Freya is exactly the same! Although I don't know how much she is getting as I am BF I can guess it is similar as when I do give her the odd bottle (am training her up so I can have a night out!) she easily guzzles 150ml and can want more afterwards.

Apart from a couple of longer sleeps (seven hours is the current record) she usually sleeps for between four and five hours and last night I was up twice due to bad timings on my part - I let her fall alseep on my lap while I watched a film - serves me right!

It's tough isn't it and I am not surprised you are feeling it if you are back at work already. Can you and your DH maybe do alternate nights so that you each get a complete night's sleep every other night? Just an idea.

Sounds like they are doing really well though, I can't believe they are three months old already, amazing!

Sending :hugs: to you all.

Love Gracie

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx






Me - 40 AMH 1.79, DH - 45
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Freya Grace arrived on 6/11/10 - Perfect at 6lb and 1/2 oz

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Sunday, February 6th 2011, 1:42pm

Nope, I'm not sure I know any babies who slept through at 7 weeks either! 'Sleeping through' means different things for different people though. We got our first unbroken nights sleep at 6 months and it was pretty consistent from thereon. At 3 months we started putting her to bed around 7 pm and I was still feeding her 2 or 3 times during the night.

Somewhere between 3 and 6 months, experts say, most babies are capable of sleeping through the night. They're not talking about eight hours, though — they generally mean a stretch of five or six hours.

The obvious things for encouraging better sleep at night are things like a good bedtime routine, good daily nap routine and being able to distinguish between night and day. However saying that I don't think waking every 4 our so hours is really than uncommon or unexpected at their age. All those things will help encourage longer sleeps at night though.

Daytime naps, alternating nights with your DH or getting a night away in hotel by yourself might be the way to get a full nights sleep.

ttc since July 06. 8 cycles of clomid. BFP on cycle 5 (Dec 07) ended in m/c at 9.5 weeks. Second BFP on cycle 8 (May 08)




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Sunday, February 6th 2011, 1:59pm

Hi Jannie

This may sound like a stupid question but when they wake during the night are they definitely hungry? One of my friends baby boy was still waking every 4 hours out of habit but she assumed he was hungry so fed him. She then started to give him a dreamfeed at about 11 then if he woke up again would just settle him back to sleep without feeding and now he'll go from about 11.30-6.30. I think it took her a few tough nights though to get him to settle without feeding but she says it's worth it now. I think she read the baby whisperer for advice (don't quote me on that though I'm not 100% sure).

As the others have said 'sleeping through' means different things to different people. Meg goes to bed around 8.30-9 then we wake her at about 10.45pm to feed her a bottle of expressed milk then she sleeps until about 6-7. A lot of my friends babies sleep 7-7 but we haven't managed that yet. I'm not too worried though.

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Sunday, February 6th 2011, 4:38pm

Hi Jannie

First off big hugs! Three month old twins will have zapped you of every ounce of energy you have and then some. I remember that stage well and just felt exhausted, exasperated and just plain knackered! It can be frustrating too, if (as it sounds like you have) your friends' babies are sleeping for longer spells than yours and you can get desperate for your babies to do the same. I had friends with babies sleeping solid from 7-7 at an early age too - they were breastfeeding and both were feeding pretty well on and off all day. So while I was getting a disturbed night, their days were a little more unpredictable than mine.

Unfortunatley as the others have said, sleeping through the night is not guaranteed at a particular age but when your baby/ies are ready; three months old is still very young and although your babies are good weights, this doesn't always reflect on their ability to sleep for longer.

Mine slept through the day before they were four months and this, to some, is still quite early (by sleeping through, I mean from 7-7). We'd been doing the dream feed around 10-11pm and then there'd be a feed anytime from 3am to 5am (the yawny hours!!). I found a good article in Mother & Baby about sizes of babies and the dream feed - I'll see if I can dig it out. It basically suggested dropping the dream feed for bigger babies and we did that and would then only have the 3-5am feed i.e. I could theoretically go to bed at 7 if i wanted and get 8 hours! Rarely happened as there were still the chores to do etc but I certainly got to bed early and got a good chunk of sleep in. It seemed logical that if we gave them the 10-11pm feed that we could get the 8 hours the other end but it never happened! Weird! So we stuck with no dream feed and just the middle of the night one. Just before four months old, at the 3-5am feed we started trying water, water with a teeny bit of organic apple juice, dummies, anything just to try and resettle them. It took time but eventually paid off and I do believe a little bit of their waking for a feed was more habit than need. It's knowing/recognising when you think that is. Depriving babies of milk if that's what they need will not a happy home make!

I'm very pro routine and believe this did impact on my two sleeping well, both for their daytime naps and now at night. Yes we've had many broken nights since they first started sleeping through, any parent would be lying if they said their babies slept solidly "every" night. Teeth/colds/sick bugs/learning new things all disrupt a baby's sleep patterns but on the whole, they're reliable sleepers!

Regarding their daytime feeds, do they polish off their bottles? Cry at the end? It might be an idea to see if you can increase the volume in their daytime feeds in the hope it takes it away from night time feeds and so making them less likely to feel hungry in the night.

One thing we did, which has been suggested above, is to give one person a complete night's sleep every now and again. On the whole, my DH would do the dream feed (when we were doing that) so I went to bed say at 9ish (an hour before midnight is worth two hours after!), he'd put the babies in their cot in our room (I'd rarely wake), go off to the spare room and then I'd do the middle of the night. He'd then do the morning (as in 6.30am) and wake me at 8ish. So I got quite a few hours really! But every so often, exhaustion just got the better of me and DH would do as above but also the middle of the night ( he was a star!). One solid night's sleep every so often just did the trick to make me function normally again. I know it's hard for the dads as they aren't often feeding the babies on they're own but our twin feeding cushion (the EZ2 one) really helped make it as easy as possible.

Good luck with it all and remember you're not alone. If you can make some practical changes to increase your sleep chunks then you will feel heaps better and fingers crossed the babies will start to sleep for longer periods the older they get. It WILL happen!

xx


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Sunday, February 6th 2011, 7:30pm

Regarding their daytime feeds, do they polish off their bottles? Cry at the end? It might be an idea to see if you can increase the volume in their daytime feeds in the hope it takes it away from night time feeds and so making them less likely to feel hungry in the night.


That's a good point - and it might be worth looking at the timings of their daytime feeds as well to see if anything can be tweaked that might mean they go for longer at nights?
It's really hard to distinguish between waking for hunger and waking for milk from habit. My instinct with a 4 month old baby would be that it is hunger rather than habit but one way to try and 'test' this is to ensure you are getting as much as possible in during the day. It's common for breastfed babies to cluster feed in the early evening which helps with the longer night-time sleeps and it may be that you could up the quantity/frequency of the feeds they have later in the day to see whether it helps.

x

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  • "Janniewall" started this thread

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Sunday, February 6th 2011, 9:28pm

As always your girls/ladies are wonderful. Lots of good tips.

Tonight, for the first time ever, we put them into their moses baskets in our bedroom at 8pm, to settle themselves. I came downstairs and since then have been sitting with the baby monitor glued to my ear. They have settled and not a squeak from upstairs.

We have decided to start a strict daytime regime, so briefing the nanny tomorrow. I already record feed times/quantities and dirty nappies, but going to start recording daytime naps too, so I can see a pattern or try to get them more into naps at certain times. Then this weekend, we are going to try a few of the suggestions you have made, re dream feeds, water, etc. Plus we are moving them to their nursery and we are moving into the bedroom next door to that.

We will just have to get them settled, happy, well fed and I am sure with time will come longer sleeps. They have done 7hrs twice, but think that was just by accident. The worst of that was they did 7hrs, I did 4 and lay awake waiting for them to waken up and kept sticking my head in their cots to check they were still breathing.

thank you again, you are all stars

xxxx

Jannie
Aug 09 - IUI - BFN
; Oct 09 - ICSI - BFN; Jan 10 - ICSI cancelled;
DICSI in Valencia Mar10 :BFP:
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Monday, February 7th 2011, 10:14am

:snigger: I was exactly the same when Freya did her seven hour sleep, what are we like eh?

Hope all goes well with the routine, it's great that they settled so well when you put them down, long may it continue!

Love Gracie

xxxxx






Me - 40 AMH 1.79, DH - 45
TTC since 04/06
6 x TX to date, inc 2 DIVF in Barcelona

One early loss, 04/09
Freya Grace arrived on 6/11/10 - Perfect at 6lb and 1/2 oz

Amazing natural :BFP: on 12/02/12
Poppy Ann arrived on 13/10/12 - Born at home weighing 6lb 12oz

We got there in the end! happydance

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Monday, February 7th 2011, 11:13am

DD didn't sleep thro or I would say hardly for first two months, she absolutely hated her cot also, I had to hold her all night for her to sleep, yep but then.... she suddenly started to sleep and in cot... I think you need to give your little ones a little bit time, I know you are so tired (I am having the same thing with DD but now she is 17 months and I had to say was an excelent sleeper until now...) it will get settled but maybe not immediately.
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Tuesday, February 8th 2011, 3:00pm

Hi Jannie

That's great to hear that they settled well in the evening. Getting that time to yourselves is brilliant and soon you'll get the whole night too!

Then this weekend, we are going to try a few of the suggestions you have made, re dream feeds, water, etc


Good stuff ! At three months of age, if they cry at night, then I'm almost certain it will be milk they want. Keep at the daytime routine and if you can increase the milk quantity in the day then I'm sure they will sleep for longer in a month or so.

The worst of that was they did 7hrs, I did 4 and lay awake waiting for them to waken up


Yeah there is that! :snigger: I still wake up at random times in the night and prod DH saying "have you heard the children?" His usual grumpy (rightly so!) response is (a) no he hasn't heard the children because they're asleep; (b) and he 'was' asleep and (c) I should be asleep!.....

Good luck with it all

xx


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Wednesday, March 9th 2011, 8:27am

Jannie,
Haven't been on FZ for a while as Xander is keeping me far too busy and I am so tired. I'm experiencing something similar to you, but, of course, I only have one LO to look after. I've been reading all the advice offered to you and will see. Xander used to cluster feed but seems to be cutting back on that so will try to get him to do it more. I've had people suggest drinking more water to improve breast milk quality, but I'm starting to be at my wits end. Tried following the Health Visitor's advice and checking to see if he really was hungry, and it seems that he is. He's waking every 3 hours like clockwork. I am hoping this is just the 4 month growth spurt.

Anyone got any other tips?
Elisa
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