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  • "Aiwah" started this thread

Posts: 435

Reg: Mar 17th 2008

Location: Manchester

Children: Twins!

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Saturday, April 30th 2011, 10:33pm

Separate rooms for sleep training?

Hi!

Looking for your thoughts on separating twins into different rooms so they don't disturb each other.

Sonny and Jas were successfully sleep trained at 6 months, when they were self-settling and staying asleep from 7:30pm
until 6:00am, with the odd awakening for dummies/reassurance, but never for more than a few minutes.

They got a bad cold around 6 weeks ago and this was followed by Jas sprouting her two bottom teeth, when she was waking up screaming at night with the pain and disturbing her brother.

After this, they learned to flip over and since then they have both gone backwards with falling asleep and will not settle without being held or rocked. When put down in his cot awake, Sonny will cry and roll onto his front and then start making "hacking" noises with his throat, throwing his neck back and whacking his head against the bars on his cot. Jas will seem to settle for a while and then suddenly, throw her dummy away, arch her back and let out the most piercing of screams, which wakes up her brother, starting the cycle again. This is the reason why I haven't been able to bear sleep training again.

Once asleep, Jas will switch between nights of self-settling (she can put her own dummy back in) and nights of waking and crying every half an hour. Sonny will often stay asleep until 4am, when he wakes up and wants to be held until breakfast time, unless he has been woken by Jas, when he will also moan until I hold him back to sleep or lift him to my bed.

Our next step is to try separating them into different rooms and see if we can leave them to cry for a bit without disturbing each other, but I have my reservations as to how long I can stand it, before I have to "rescue" them......
Also, is it a bit early to separate them?

Any thoughts/advice would be much appreciated.
* Emma * :smile:
TTC 8 yrs PCOS - Clomidx10 - IVFx3
Nov 2009 Last try: Short protocol ICSI - wonderful BFP!!! -
TWINS!!
: D

This post has been edited 2 times, last edit by "Aiwah" (Apr 30th 2011, 10:34pm)


    United Kingdom

Posts: 553

Reg: Nov 22nd 2008

Location: Worthing, West Sussex

Children: 2 Beautiful Babies. One of Each!

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Sunday, May 1st 2011, 11:57am

Hello this is a tough one for any mummy let alone on of twins and risk disturbance to the other child.
My two are still in together and they are now nearly 23 months, We have had this so many times before, one is poorly and they cry and then the other sleeps until you open the door and then they are both awake and crying.
I am very much one of these strict mummys, and all the time they are crying they are fine, my little girl was poorly last night so she was up til early hours and thank fully she did not wake her brother, i knew last night that she was crying an i dont feel well cry not just a im awake cry.
Its is really up to you whether you separate them at all, what is best for them and you, why are they waking? thats the issue here i guess, i appreciate one waking the other but why is the first one waking in the first place? May i ask what time they go to bed and get up in the morning?
It is a tough one, what happens when you 'resue' them? do they look at you as if to see ' thanks mummy i got exactly what i wanted' or are they needing a drink or a nappy change etc??
bab15 bab16 Sa-Leanne xx

Ros

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Posts: 9,021

Reg: Mar 14th 2008

Children: twin girls thanks to PGD!

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Tuesday, May 3rd 2011, 11:42am

Hello Emma, I'm sorry to hear about your unsettled nights. Once you get sleep sorted it's gutting when something upsets it all, in my case I've found that it's usually teething or poorlyness and it's just a temporary thing.
I did find it useful to separate my two at night for a couple of months at 5-6 months as Ellie was sleeping through (she stayed in with us!) and Flora, who was much smaller, needed milk at night for a while so she slept in the room we had allocated for the babies but didn't really use. At 7 months we moved house and put them both in their new room together and it's been great since then (other than the odd blip). If one does have a little cry it rarely wakes the other and I tend to only go in if the crying doesn't stop or gets very loud. I am a strong believer that babies need to be able to get themselves back to sleep when they wake in the night and picking them up is not going to help in the long term.
However, I have recently started separating them for their daytime nap though as I found that Ellie needs much less daytime sleep than her sister (probably because she eats better). She gets the travel cot in our room and Flora in her own cot in their room. That way, if Ellie wakes I just have her up with me for a while before Flora wakes. I find it's so much easier to have her with me pottering around the house than the two of them!
Good luck getting them both settled again x

After 5 years of endo surgery, clomid, 2 x MM/C, 2 x ICSI cycles and 1 PGD cycle,
beautiful twin girls born 8th Feb 2010, we are so grateful

  • "Aiwah" started this thread

Posts: 435

Reg: Mar 17th 2008

Location: Manchester

Children: Twins!

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4

Tuesday, May 10th 2011, 1:22pm

Thanks for your replies ladies.

We decided to separate them in the end because I was starting to go loopy with them disturbing each other and everyone else.
It took Sonny 3 nights to get himself sorted and now he just has a couple of little moans before he beds down for the night.
Jasmine is still a pain and after 8 days is still crying herself to sleep for over an hour every night, but at least now we can leave her to it and her brother gets less disturbance in the next room.

I'm pleased to say that I no longer need to hold either of them to sleep at night! :happy:

Sa-Leanne - they were waking just for reassurance/separation anxiety probably because they have not needed feeding/changing at night since they were four months old. They go to bed at 7-7:30pm and wake up around 6-6:30 am for milk and breakfast.

They still have their naps together during the day - my next challenge is to get them to do that in the travel cot in preparation for nursery......
* Emma * :smile:
TTC 8 yrs PCOS - Clomidx10 - IVFx3
Nov 2009 Last try: Short protocol ICSI - wonderful BFP!!! -
TWINS!!
: D

This post has been edited 1 times, last edit by "Aiwah" (May 10th 2011, 1:23pm)


    United Kingdom

Posts: 553

Reg: Nov 22nd 2008

Location: Worthing, West Sussex

Children: 2 Beautiful Babies. One of Each!

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Tuesday, May 10th 2011, 8:02pm

Well done hun on not having to hold either of them to sleep, thats is a huge achievement, glad you have found something that works for you, and a mummy that can relax a little xx
bab15 bab16 Sa-Leanne xx

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Reg: May 12th 2007

Location: Norwich

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Sunday, July 3rd 2011, 9:35pm

Was glad to come across this post as I was about to ask a similar question..

My story so far ... Emilia and Taylor were both initially in our room the first few weeks and were fed four hourly but quite quickly it became apparent that it was easier to split them up as they didn't always feed in unison and nobody got any sleep. So one in the front room with hubby and one in the back room with me or my mam and so this has continued. They have now started to become more settled at night and emilia is difficult to get down but when she is down she sleeps through til 7-7.30. She does toss and turn and niggle or cry out at times but generally goes back over very quickly. Taylor sleeps sound but still wakes for one feed about 3am. The nursery was decorated to house both babies and i am wondering whether I am close to moving them in to their own room or whether to put one in and one in the spare room with seperate monitors and me and hubby go back to sleeping together??? What age did you all put them in their own rooms??

Before you all gasp in shock that i have not slept with my DH for all this time I also have cardiomyopathy and heart failure and have needed all the the rest/sleep possible hence why hubby and my mother are feeding at night so much.

Its so hard to know what to do and i haven't been able to get out the house to any baby groups with my illness so have had no contact with other new mums to don't know where to start on loads of stuff or how well my two are doing for how old they are. But now they've been going down by 7/8PM just these last couple of weeks i finally have time to get back on line and ask all you lovely ladies....phew!!!

IUI-Mar07 / IVF-Jul07 / FET-Jan08 / IVF-May09 - ALL BFN
IVF-Jun10 - :BFP:



  • "Aiwah" started this thread

Posts: 435

Reg: Mar 17th 2008

Location: Manchester

Children: Twins!

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7

Monday, July 4th 2011, 12:43pm

Hi Geordie!

Not sure if it helps you, but here's an update on my situation.

My guys are still in their separate rooms and are sleeping pretty well through the night now. We put them down at 7pm and they go down on their own (still with dummies, but we'll tackle that one later). Jas will still wake up and moan for a while after 45 mins sometimes, but generally we just leave them to it and only go in if they're really distressed. I even managed to pluck up the courage to do daytime sleep training with them as well, so now they will just go down for naps in their cots as well.

It's made a HUGE difference to our lives now and I've regained my nights and my sanity!!

The acid test was when we went to stay at my mum's house for a night when we had the workmen in. Fortunately, my folks have plenty of room, so we put Emerson in my old room and I stayed with Jas in my sister's old room. Ended up sleeping even better than they did at home in their travel cots!!

Next challenge - going on holiday in September....
:)
* Emma * :smile:
TTC 8 yrs PCOS - Clomidx10 - IVFx3
Nov 2009 Last try: Short protocol ICSI - wonderful BFP!!! -
TWINS!!
: D

Posts: 328

Reg: May 12th 2007

Location: Norwich

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Monday, July 4th 2011, 9:05pm

Thanks Emma

I'm losing the will to live tonight. Its now 20.49 and I've given up on Emilia and passed her on to hubby but I hear footsteps coming down stairs so she's obviously finally down. Taylor is so easy, he gets tired, gets grumpy, has a cuddle and goes down. We can leave him in his cot and he'll lie awake and drop off himself. Emilia is another matter, some nights she'll have her feed and have a cuddle and go down and other nights like tonight she is visibly tired but hates to be put in her cot. Don't get me wrong things are a million times better than they were as she was a colickey baby and was up screaming until 10/11pm every night but i finally think i am getting somewhere and then it all goes pear shaped. I dont think the light nights are helping either so i have big blankets hanging up over my curtains. The nursery has a blackout blind so i might move her in there soon. Uh oh, there she goes screaming again. She's not hungry either as she took another 60ml at 8pm. She just hates to be alone. If i lie on the bed and lay her on my chest she sleeps soundly but i get so weary and sometimes i get so weary trying to get her down i just give up and cuddle her all night. its so difficult.

I have been up north to my parents twice and was up there last week. They slept brilliantly in their travel cots. I was in shock all week. I was panicking as mam and dad stayed here at mine in norwich for a break and to cat sit and we had their house and i never had to get up once through the night all week for emilia, she was an angel. Now we're home i don't know whats up? Aaaarrgghhhh!!!!

Some people say to me 'I don't know how you cope with two' and the truth of it is I don't know how I do myself at times. I think there is a moment in every day that i think to myself I can't go on but i always do, failing that I go have a cry and feel a lot better. Does everyone else feel the same at times??????

IUI-Mar07 / IVF-Jul07 / FET-Jan08 / IVF-May09 - ALL BFN
IVF-Jun10 - :BFP:



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Thursday, July 7th 2011, 5:37pm

Ahhh....Gordie! When I think back to how hard it was when my girls were the same age that your twins are now I totally feel for you. I honestly did not know how I would get through it. All I can say is that there is light at the end of the tunnel. They were easier at 6 months than they were at 5 months. By 10 months life was enjoyable again. Now they are 14 months and it is fun, fun, fun. Having to look after young twins with your health issues would defeat most people but it sounds like you are doing a fantastic job.

I would recommend the Tizzie Hall book on how to get your babies to sleep. Your boy will soon drop his 3am feed and having an undisturbed night's sleep will make you feel like a new woman.

To get back to the original topic of this thread - my girls have been in the same room since day 1 and they rarely wake each other.
Newly Wed

ICSI December 2008 - chemical pregnancy
ICSI May 2009 - BFN
FET September 2009 - BFP
Beautiful twin girls born 30 April 2010



Posts: 328

Reg: May 12th 2007

Location: Norwich

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Thursday, July 7th 2011, 10:00pm

Thanks Newly Wed and thanks for the supportive words. I look back now and think how did we get through the first 4 months ..ha ha. It is getting a little easier. I have decided to move her through to the nursery this weekend and me go back to a bedroom on my own with the monitor and Hubby is going to still have Taylor in the back bedroom until we can get him going through. Wish me luck. I feel nervous putting her on her own .. yikes :-)

IUI-Mar07 / IVF-Jul07 / FET-Jan08 / IVF-May09 - ALL BFN
IVF-Jun10 - :BFP:



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Friday, July 8th 2011, 12:46am

She will be fine. I totally recommend the BT baby monitor which is so clear that you will eventually turn it down because you will be able to hear every little whimper she makes. Also, if she has been sleeping in a moses basket, rather than moving her straight into her cot, put the moses basket into the cot for a few weeks so that she gets used to it gradually. When you move her into the cot you might want to consider lying her on a sheepskin rug (it goes under the sheet) as this is a bit more snuggly than just lying on the mattress.

Sweet dreams! Hope you are getting a good night's sleep tonight. I am still in my office where I have been for the last 16 hours - my punishment for only working a 4 day week and having tomorrow off.
Newly Wed

ICSI December 2008 - chemical pregnancy
ICSI May 2009 - BFN
FET September 2009 - BFP
Beautiful twin girls born 30 April 2010



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Friday, July 8th 2011, 6:27am

I have unfortunately had to separate my twins as well. Alana sleeps from 6 to 6 and rarely wakes up but lia wakes up a few times and has a chat and play etc. I initially moved lia into nursey and after a week knowing she was settled I moved Alana in. This was short lived as teething begin and lia was crying and waking up Alana. I had lia in with me for a few weeks and now have moved her cot in. Once she is over she is ok and if she wakes up she just entertains herself and then goes back to sleep. We are away for a week so they are in separate rooms in travel cots. Lia woke up after a couple of hours and cried so I lifted her and put her in bed. I will try again tonight. We just have to do whatever it takes to give us as much sleep as possible x


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Jan 09 Icsi BFN May 09 Fet BFN Sept 09 Icsi BFN Jan 10 :BFP:
:girl: :girl: c-section 13/09/10

Posts: 328

Reg: May 12th 2007

Location: Norwich

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Thursday, August 18th 2011, 8:26pm

Wow its hard to believe but we're very lucky and blessed that both Emilia and Taylor sleep through all night long. By 6.30 every night they are ready for their bedtime bottle and by 7.30pm they are fast asleep until the same time the following morning. We might get a few wimpers or cries but a kiss and a gentle stroke of the head generally settles them. Emilia is in the nursery and Taylor in the back bedroom and everyone gets a good nights sleep and some normality has returned to our life. We've even managed a BBQ and family round for a take-away and are having friends over next weekend. I even get to watch movies again and just find time to relax (or catch up with the household chores) ... Its wonderful!!!!

IUI-Mar07 / IVF-Jul07 / FET-Jan08 / IVF-May09 - ALL BFN
IVF-Jun10 - :BFP:



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