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Margaret

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1

Thursday, August 24th 2006, 10:30pm

Trying for a 2nd baby with IVF

Hello everyone,

I am not sure if I am posting this in the right place. I know that I am very lucky to have 5 month old daughter (after 2nd ICSI).
But know I am even more desperate then before to make sure she will have brother or sister. The problem is that I can only get pg with ICSI and I am already 37.So I want to start next treatment ASAP but I am still breastfeeding (try to stop within next few weeks).
And I don’t really know how quickly I shoud start next treatment feel that at my age every month count. I want the best for my daughter and at the same time want to have some reasonable chance with ICSI and feel that with every month I am getting older my chances getting pg become slimmer, am I just getting obsessed?Are there anyone up there in similar situation ?I rally would like to know what will you do in my situation.
My GP said that the best gap between pg's is at least a year which is great as long you are not 37 and can't get pg naturally.Just got AF today and thinking about calling my consultant.
What will you do?

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Friday, August 25th 2006, 8:02am

hi margaret,
you have posted in the right place(for now!) we are soon to reorganise some of the board and will be adding a 2nd time around section as its an awkward one isn't it? where to post?

I can't offer any advice i'm afraid but wanted tosend you best wishes and will look forward to following your story. there are a couple of women on here who have done the same i am sure you will hear from them soon
x
adoption...after a typically long journey, approved November 05, linked with strawb December 05, Brought our princess home May 06, aged 21 months

single mum since dec 08, and very grateful for the FZ support through the whole lot xx



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Friday, August 25th 2006, 8:28am

Hi Margaret and welcome to FZ. Congratulations on your little girl and well done for sticking with the breastfeeding.
I would advised that you speak to your consultant. They will usually give you an appointment just to chat, we paid £150 for that with a local consultant and it was money well spent because it answered all our questions. Your GP probably has good intentions but he is not a fertility expert so his advice may not be all that up to date. If you see your consultant you can come up with a plan between your for when to start your next ICSI then your can decide on when to stop breastfeeding your daughter.
Also there a lots of women on here who've had successful IVF/ICSI at 37 and over so don't loose heart.

XXX





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Friday, August 25th 2006, 11:23am

Hi Margaret

Like Mrs J - I would say go call your Consultant and talk to him/her about it all. ALthough your GP is trying to help, they don't really know much about fertility treatment/ICSI etc. Even though they may think that leaving a year is the best thing... you know your own mind. If you feel that you are ready to embark on treatment again, then you should start to talk to someone in the right field.

good luck
x

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Friday, August 25th 2006, 1:40pm

Hi Margaret

Welcome to the board! This is such a difficult subject, and I have been in exactly your position. I had my first child when I was nearly 37, with IVF. Like you, as soon as he came along, I was actually more desperate for a second than I was before I had him, because I wanted him to have a sibling. However, you also have to weigh up the possibility that you may not be able to have another one, as IVF is not a guaranteed solution. So, if you were to give up breastfeeding now, might you regret it later? I carried on breastfeeding until 9 months, and only stopped so that I could start the down-regging drugs for another cycle. That cycle failed, as did the next one, but I am now a lucky mother with a 2.5 year old and a 3-month old, both of whom were IVF. I'm now 39.

I would say your decision should also partly be made on the reasons for IVF in the first place. All my IVF cycles have always produced quite a lot of high quality eggs, so I had reasonable optimism for success second time around. If you have a big problem with egg quality or numbers, rather than the reason for IVF being your partner's issues, then maybe it's worth going for it sooner.

Finally, I didn't feel that my body was back to normal, or near-normal until my son was nearly a year old. I'm very fit, and do lots of exercise/running, but it really does takes its toll on your body without you realising. There is some wisdom in leaving a second pregnancy a few more months yet.

Hope this helps. Please pm me if you want to chat more.

Limpet
Had a total of three fresh IVF cycles and three frozen transfers (embryos and blastocysts)
m/c @ 11 weeks in 2007 DS1 and DS2 born from fresh IVF cycles :D
:D

Margaret

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Friday, August 25th 2006, 4:09pm

Thank you for all your replays, I will call my Consultant next week.
I was thinking about this before but it's so reassuring to talk to someone and hear someone else point of view.

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Friday, August 25th 2006, 4:35pm

Welcome Margaret to FZ

I can understand your thinking. Defo talk to Consultant as he/she will know. Please come back regularly - this site is a great place to talk about your feelings, treatment etc.

xxx Lorraine xxx

Me: 39 & DH: 42 ~ TTC: 5yrs; M/c@7.5wks (20/1/03) & became a mum after our 2nd IUI attempt in June 2007 to 6lbs 4ozs baby girl called Rebecca after an emergency caesarean section at 6.29am on 12th March 2008


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Friday, August 25th 2006, 6:47pm

I'm in exactly the same position Margaret - my DD is about the same age and was conceived via ICSI with a blastocyst embryo. The only difference is that we have some embryos still in storage - I'm 40 now so I can really hear the clock ticking. TBH though I had almost given up hope of ever having a child, DD is such a miracle I really am more than content with having one child. However because we have embryos in storage we will go for FET but I am reluctant to give up breastfeeding as the odds on it working for me are so slim. This could be my one and only chance of breastfeeding and I love it so much I would be gutted to give it up so soon only for the FET not to work. My DH is desperate for us to try again, partly because he would love DD to have a sibling and also so that we can really get on with our lives with DD and close the book on TTC.

I think a visit to your consultant would be a good idea too - they would be able to advise whether you would have more chances of success if you waited a year or so, even though you will be older.



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Friday, August 25th 2006, 9:07pm

Just wanted to say good luck ;)
DS#1 FEB 1999 (CLOMID)
DS#2 MAY 2006 - MIRACLE !!





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Sunday, August 27th 2006, 10:31am

hmmm, well, sadly I know of several couples (5 or 6 - I've lost count) who have become pregnant 2nd time around whilst the first child is less than a year old, and have lost the pregnancy.

as Limpet says, if your egg quality is / was ok during your last round, it may well be worth just waiting a few more months.

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Sunday, August 27th 2006, 1:11pm

Hi Primrose

I didn't know you were 40 - you sound so youthful in your posts LOL!

I also didn't know that you had some embryos in the freezer - how many? I know what you mean about wanting to get on with it so that siblings are close in age, and so that you can get on with your lives as they grow up together. I also know that we're incredibly blessed even with one IVF child, but miracles can happen twice!

What are your thoughts at the moment? How strong does your body feel now? It's a hard balance - breastfeeding is so precious, as you say, but your body will feel tired for as long as you're still producing large quantities of milk!
Had a total of three fresh IVF cycles and three frozen transfers (embryos and blastocysts)
m/c @ 11 weeks in 2007 DS1 and DS2 born from fresh IVF cycles :D
:D

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Sunday, August 27th 2006, 3:42pm

Thanks! feel about 105 actually! :D

We've got 4 blastocysts and 1 'normal' embryo in the freezer. My body is a bit of a wreck TBH, I am still loads overweight, about 2 stone, but look even more, I think your body stores it in funny places when you are bf!

On the one hand I am sort of resigned to the fact it probably won't work anyway and on the other, worried I might have a multiple birth (they could put back 3 I think as I'm over 40) Also I'm so tired all the time, how on earth do you cope with another child?! am I just a complete wimp? Oh crikey its a mindfield - I think TBH I'm putting obstacles in the way because I am SO happy with DD I don't want anything to come in the way of that. What I mean is I am frightened that we'd be putting ourselves through the emotional rollercoaster again - not sure I could cope with the dissapointment & heartbreak or, if we had another miracle, the stress of worrying for every day of the 40 weeks again.

As I say I feel really content with DD but I have to think of her and DH too - my DH wants us to try again asap but in my head I am thinking when DD is a year old.


This post has been edited 1 times, last edit by "Primrose" (Aug 27th 2006, 3:43pm)


Margaret

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Sunday, August 27th 2006, 10:54pm

If I was 10 years younger without any doubt I would wait for a year maybe longer.
I am still 2 stones over weight (far from perfect body),my income is about 10 % of what it used to be ( I am self-employed) and financially I am not quite ready to spend 4 thousands a go for ICSI. As Limpet said it will probably take at least a year before I will feel same way as before PG but from another hand I feel that I have the rest of my life to lose weight or to make more money so if I want to work on different projects in my life PG is the only one that I can run out of time therefore should be done first.

Sunshine-the couples you mention did they conceive naturally, most of my friends have children months apart without problems they actually were surprised to conceive so soon after first PG and they are encouraging me to go ahead as soon as possible ( none of them done with IVF).

Primrose-the only think I can say is that I will never go ahead with the treatment unless I was 100 % convinced that is the right decision.

I feel so much better that I am not the only one in this situation
I made up my mind, I will go to see consultant and I will do whatever he said is the right thing to do to achieve PG.

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Monday, August 28th 2006, 1:20pm

At least if you have frozen embryos, one of the decisions about being "old" is taken away as the embryos are only as "old" as you were when that cycle happened. Primrose, you say you feel old, but whether you have the embryos put back next week or 5 years' time doesn't affect the embryos. Would you ever have another fresh egg collection cycle?

You have to think ahead a bit, even for frozen cycles, because of the need to down-reg and then take oestrogen, but I'd say a minimum of a year to starting medication is reasonable - that means thinking about it quite soon to allow for getting a consultation and getting booked in to the clinic.

I'm glad to have your sympathy about how do you cope with two children. :P I have no idea how I do - it's utter bedlam sometimes, even though I think my two are pretty good-natured. It's the juggling of two different sets of needs that's difficult - one wants to have you run around the garden with them, and one wants to be put down for a sleep. One wants to eat sausages and beans and one is just starting baby rice - I "cook" three different meals most of the time as DH and I don't always eat the same as DS1. Still, the reward of two is wonderful and doesn't detract from my love and enjoyment of DS1, so don't let that put you off. It's just the emotional rollercoaster of treatment that is the difficult thing to psyche yourself up for, but as long as you can prepare youself for heartbreak, it's worth the ride.

Margaret - I often think of raising children as a "project" because it is your whole life for the first few years (and probably forever, realistically). You're so right, do it now, and you can do other things later. Never regret having waited to have children.
Had a total of three fresh IVF cycles and three frozen transfers (embryos and blastocysts)
m/c @ 11 weeks in 2007 DS1 and DS2 born from fresh IVF cycles :D
:D

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Monday, August 28th 2006, 3:31pm

Margaret, that sounds a really good idea - if you trust your consultant they will advise you as to what is best. I used to hate those awful graphs they show of how the success rate diminishes with age, so I can understand your need to want to do something sooner rather than later.

Limpet - thanks that helps, it did cross my mind that my embryos are frozen in time literally. No I wouldn't try a fresh cycle of IVF, what will be will be with regards the FET - over 10 years of treatment is enough for me, we'd draw a line under TTC if it wasn't successful.


This post has been edited 1 times, last edit by "Primrose" (Aug 28th 2006, 3:33pm)


Margaret

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Thursday, August 31st 2006, 6:38pm

I made appointment with my consultant for the 25/09. (Apparently they are very busy and he can't see me sooner).Really looking forward to see him to find out what he has to say. I will keep you updated.

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Tuesday, September 12th 2006, 8:52am

Margaret - good luck!
(& yes they were all natural pregnancies)

dwarf

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Thursday, September 14th 2006, 1:05pm

Hiya,
My circumstances are similar but not the same. My db is 10 1/ months old as was a clomid boy. At 7 mnths I asked GP to refer me re treatment as I am still polys and don't ovulate. Thay didn't say anything about waiting a year despite the fact I had an emergency c section. I saw the consultant end July and he put me straight back on clomid as it worked before. I'm not heavier but body is a different shape and I just don't have time to do as much exercise as I used to now I'm back at work.

1st round clomid and no follicles. Will know fri if any this round on higher dose.

I think I started so soon after as I knew I didn't want to wait to find out whether I was capable of having another at a much later date. I am still very tired and friends assure me this won't change for at least 13 years! and I did not want to be so tired again in a few years time ( I'm 35 and well on way to 36).

Rightly or wrongly, we have put a time and monetary limit on this as we thought it might affect our son somehow.

Before starting I always said it didn't matter as we had our gorgeous boy, but it matters so much and is very hard to describe.

Also we knew that NHS treatment for those with a baby are a lot more restricted so wanted to find out everything and can on ly do that if you seee a cons.

you are not alone watching that clock or feeling the way you do. I know lots of people who have not waited a year. They are knackered though!!!

Good luck
Me pcos. Ds born nov 2005 - 1 round clomid.
TTC no2 since April 06.
6 rounds clomid (skinny womb lining + vaired response),
3XIUI, 1X IVF.
BFP 29/12. All fingers and toes crossed.



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Thursday, September 14th 2006, 8:49pm

Hi Sarah

Welcome to this part of the board. I understand what you say about not wanting to wait too long just in case. As long as you're prepared for your first cycle of clomid to work, then go for it. If it takes several months, then at least you started early. My main reason for wanting to wait a while was that I had to stop breastfeeding in order to take the drugs for IVF and didn't want to stop that too soon in case I never got the chance again.

Tiredness is one of the hardest things about having a family - pregnancy is tiring, having a baby and the early months of sleeplessness and breastfeeding is tiring, having a toddler is tiring as they are on the go all the time and expect you to be too. But, the reward is immense and that's why we do it. Wanting a second baby is too hard to describe, as you say, and sounds like we're ungrateful for our first, but until you get to our position, you don't realise quite how much you'd love another.

Please keep us posted with how you get on.
Had a total of three fresh IVF cycles and three frozen transfers (embryos and blastocysts)
m/c @ 11 weeks in 2007 DS1 and DS2 born from fresh IVF cycles :D
:D

Margaret

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Monday, September 25th 2006, 8:52pm

Hi,

Me and my DH went to see the consultant to ask him about the best time scale for my next ICSI since giving birth to my DD last April. And I must say cons was really brilliant. I am 37 and was concern how long I can wait and what is my best option.
He said that as soon as I stop breastfeeding and AF will come regularly for 2 month I can start next treatment. He was very optimistic because we already had successful round of ICSI and he will follow the same protocol as last time maybe with slightly higher dosage because I am older. As far my age was concern he said few months won’t make any difference but ‘please don’t wait 2 years’.
And try to get fitter (I am 2 stones overweight since my DD was born).
I will start my next treatment in October if I stop breastfeeding on time otherwise I will wait until January.
I was soooooooo happy when consultant said’ if we could give you one baby we will give you one more’. I can’t wait!!!

Margaret

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Tuesday, September 26th 2006, 7:50am

That is good news Margaret

Hope all goes well for you :)

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Tuesday, September 26th 2006, 9:18am

Good luck Margaret - keep us posted on how things progress :))

Elaine
x
DS#1 FEB 1999 (CLOMID)
DS#2 MAY 2006 - MIRACLE !!





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Tuesday, September 26th 2006, 11:48am

Great news Margaret. You sound so positive.





Margaret

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Wednesday, September 27th 2006, 7:17pm

Yes, I am quait optimistic since my meeting with cons.Thank you for all good wishes.

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Thursday, September 28th 2006, 8:24pm

Good news, Margaret, although I don't know what you mean about stopping breastfeeding "on time". There is no "time" that is right to stop breastfeeding, so just see when AF starts up again after you stop.

Your consultant said that he would do the same protocol, but raise the dose a bit. That's normal - for the dose to go up as your age goes up.

So, when do you think you will stop breastfeeding, and how old will DD be then?
Had a total of three fresh IVF cycles and three frozen transfers (embryos and blastocysts)
m/c @ 11 weeks in 2007 DS1 and DS2 born from fresh IVF cycles :D
:D

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Thursday, September 28th 2006, 8:29pm

Just to add, Margaret, although it's good to be optimistic about chances of success, just be sure that you're emotionally ready to stop breastfeeding.... just in case you never get a chance to do it again. I had two failed cycles after stopping breastfeeding and thought I may have given up early for nothing. Breastfeeding isn't just about feeding from the breast; it's an incredibly close bonding time.
Had a total of three fresh IVF cycles and three frozen transfers (embryos and blastocysts)
m/c @ 11 weeks in 2007 DS1 and DS2 born from fresh IVF cycles :D
:D

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Thursday, September 28th 2006, 9:20pm

Oh brilliant margaret - really pleased you had a positive outcome from your appointment. Please keep us updated as to how its going, especially with the bf as that's something I'll have to do and am totally not looking forward to it :(



Margaret

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Friday, September 29th 2006, 11:04am

Limpet,
You are so right I wasn’t very clear in my post .I said ‘on time’ because I will be away for three weeks over Christmas so I need to stop bf now to be able to complete all protocol before I leave .That’s mean I need to start down regulating in October otherwise I need to wait until January. I had af last month and hope to have one soon as I’ve already stared to give DD formula during the day .But the cons. wants me to stop bf completely as soon as possible.
I think I am ready emotionally to stop bf and I have strange feeling that DD should be more independent from me but she doesn’t want to drink from bottle and at night is looking for my breast for comfort. My mum is coming this weekend to stay with us for a week and I hope she will help me with the bottle feeding. I’m giving myself until next weekend to stop bf completely, I think it is easier to stop bf since she started solids 2 weeks ago and from the beginning I wanted to bf until she is 6 month and start eating solids.My DD is 26 weeks now.

My next appointment is with the nurse on the 17/10 then we will make decision when we can start down regulating. I really am looking forward to it.

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Sunday, October 22nd 2006, 9:56pm

I have just read all of your posts and find it really up liftiing. I have just been told I'm not ovulating but, no doc seems to care or know what I should do next. The cons you mentioned was this on the NHS or private?

Thanks
Paula

Margaret

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Monday, October 30th 2006, 7:18pm

Paula,
Last time I saw my cons was privately but my last ICSI was on NHS and he was my cons at that time so I think he can see you on NHS also.

As to keep you updated....I am starting my next ICSI in January.
Somehow I feel quiet positive about it. Maybe because I know what to expect.

Margaret

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Thursday, November 23rd 2006, 8:19pm

Just an update

Today I went to hospital to collect my medication for ICSI for Dec/Jan /Feb (not sure exactly when I am going to start).
At the same time I went to ACU Unit to give my blood results - (now all tests must be done within the last 12 months, mine was 17 months old) and I took my DD with me (she is 7 month old ICSI baby).I could not believe what has happed next
receptionist recognise me and excuse herself for a second next
I know nurses, doctors, embryologist and other personnel run
from different directions to see DD.They all look so happy you could feel how pride they felt .I must say it make me feel really emotional. I realise that this was success story which I should share with them sooner. For this few minutes you could see they suddenly felt that all this hard work was worth it. Me and DH send card, flowers and give them DD picture when she was born but I never took her there with me because I thought it won't be sensitive of me to bring her there while other couples are in the waiting area but now I can see that I should have done it sooner. This was also their success after all.

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Thursday, December 21st 2006, 9:55pm

RE: Just an update

Hi Margaret

How are you getting on? Are you having treatment now? I think you said you were away for Christmas, so let us know when you return.
Had a total of three fresh IVF cycles and three frozen transfers (embryos and blastocysts)
m/c @ 11 weeks in 2007 DS1 and DS2 born from fresh IVF cycles :D
:D

Mrs.M

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33

Wednesday, January 10th 2007, 4:15pm

Thank you very much for asking Limpet. I have just return from long Christmas break .I am starting my treatment (ICSI) on the 21st.




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