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  • "Shelley10" started this thread
  • United Kingdom

Posts: 879

Reg: Aug 1st 2010

Location: Essex

Children: 1st ICSI - Perfect baby boy born 2011, 2nd ICSI - BFN

Thanks: 4 / 13

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Thursday, July 21st 2011, 4:07pm

I need a moan!...

Hi all,

I'm not sure if im in the right place to post this but just wanted to get something off my chest.....

Since having DS, DH had 2 and a half weeks off work to help around the house and with DS cos of my c-section. Since then he did a normal shift but then his done 12 hour shifts and keeps taking on more 12 hour shifts too and weekends so basically hardly been around. Dont get me wrong, i'm getting used to how to look after Ollie on my own and DH has been on 12 nights this week and me and Ollie have got on fine so far so its not that I need him here but i'm annoyed that for at least the next 2 weeks straight, maybe 3 (including weekends) his going to be working from 7am - 7pm! When I have a moan about it he just says that if we want to buy stuff for the house then he needs to do the overtime, I would prefer for him to be around more and take more time to save and buy stuff but this goes in 1 ear and out the other.

I was upstairs with him earlier having a look at his handy work (painting our bedroom) and he announced that his doing 12 hours next weekend, so annoying, but because i've seen a new bed i liked he thought of it as a trade! 8|

Gotta run but just needed to air how i feel xx

Posts: 925

Reg: Sep 9th 2010

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Thursday, July 21st 2011, 4:13pm

It must be hard for both of you. DH is probably trying his hardest to bring money in and for you to be on your own for so many hours. Maybe you should have a talk and try to find a compromise. Review your budget / money you would get if he worked only normal hours and make decision on those bases.


April'10-IVF 4 eggs-none fertilised
Sep'10-ICSI 2 eggs,1 fertilised 7/10/10 BFN
Jan'11-ICSI 13 eggs,9 fertilsed, 2x8 cells put back - 4/2/11 BFN
May'11-ICSI 14 eggs,9 fertilised - none made it to day 5
Aug'11-DE,Czech Rep 13/8 2 blasts trans,1 frostie - :BFP:
Scan 8/9/11,3/10/11,20/10/11,15/12/11,6/1/12,2/2/12, 2/3/12, 5/4/12 bab10 bab11
Twins arrived 8/4/12 both healthy

Posts: 2,681

Reg: Feb 24th 2008

Location: Cheshire

Children: 1 baby girl

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Thursday, July 21st 2011, 4:35pm

I really feel for you, my DH is a teacher so he can be home by 5-5.30pm and bring work home to do when DD is in bed - I'd really struggle if he wasn't in until after 7pm. At the moment you may feel you can cope but you mustn't do this for too long. You need to be bringing up your DS as a couple and not on your own. You'll be absolutely shattered and brain dead if you're doing this on your own for 12 hours at a time for too long. Keep talking to him about it.

2 ectopic pregnancies - 2005 & 2009
beautiful daughter born Sept 2010 thanks to IVF
IVF#3 April/May 2012 - BFN
IVF#4 in Oct/Nov 2012


Mr C


    United Kingdom

Posts: 1,452

Reg: Sep 30th 2008

Location: Berkshire

Children: Blessed with NonId Twin Girls!

Thanks: 3 / 0

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Friday, July 22nd 2011, 8:38am

I can only assume that DH thinks he's doing the right thing by earning money to keep you and LO happy.
Our Diary
ISCI 1 - Mar/Apr 2009 - :BFN: ICSI 2 - Dec/Jan 2010 - :BFN: ISCI 3 - Mar/Apr 2010 - :BFP:
Our twin girls were born at 38 weeks on 21st December 2010. Feeling very blessed.



Posts: 7,427

Reg: Feb 26th 2007

Location: Edinburgh

Children: one very special daughter

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Friday, July 22nd 2011, 10:06am

I think that as soon as they have a child men suddenly get 'the fear' about having to be a provider. Even though my partner and I have the same earning potential he had sleepless nights before M was born, worrying about the economy, what would happen if he was made redundant, etc even though he previously had a very come what may attitude towards this. As you are the one on mat leave it emphasises this even more and they very much see their role as breadwinner. I would imagine this is what your DH is doing - he probably sees you as performing the mother role very well so is ramping up his provider role. Why not have a chat and agree a 'limit' to the overtime and hours. Say you think it is fab that he wants to earn money and care for his family but you also want him to be involved more with your little one in these previous early months. Point out that you will now be spending less on going out and leisure time and can budget a bit more to make what you have go further without him needing to bring in more cash. Contrary to all the hype I don't think it costs a fortune to have a baby as long as you don't go crazy buying hundreds of expensive outfits and toys.

me 38, DP 44, ttc since 2005
BFP May 07 - HB seen @ 8 wks but CRL only 7 weeks, m/c @ 9 wks
BFP Jan 08 -m/c @ 11 wks (D&C)
BFP Jun 08 - early loss
BFP Dec 08 - HB & CRL ok @ 8 wks, but sac too small, m/c @ 9 wks
BFP Apr 09 - Martha born 9th Jan 2010
BFP Feb 12 - Eliza born 13th Oct 2012

  • "Shelley10" started this thread
  • United Kingdom

Posts: 879

Reg: Aug 1st 2010

Location: Essex

Children: 1st ICSI - Perfect baby boy born 2011, 2nd ICSI - BFN

Thanks: 4 / 13

  • Send private message


Saturday, July 30th 2011, 5:20pm

Man, I am so fed up today!!

I love my little Ollie so so much and his amazing but I feel like i'm a single parent!! Its really gettiing me down ;(