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  • "jen84288" started this thread

Posts: 512

Reg: Aug 24th 2008

Children: 2 daughters

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Monday, November 12th 2012, 10:34pm

bf and separation anxiety

So breastfeeding has gone much easier this time around but i wasnt expecting such severe separation anxiety. C is 14 weeks and i feel like i cant be in a different room from her. I dont remember this quite as much with L but she was FF after 4 weeks and i guess because of this DH took a bigger role so leaving L wasnt as bad. This time i am exclusively BF and co sleeping so cant bear to be apart from C. This is fine - for now - but lately i am experiencing situations which make me feel really uneasy e.g i am having an eye operation at the end of the month which was quickly resolved by my mum travelling up to me so that she can bring the baby with me while i have this done. Secondly L's parents day is in the afternoon next week so DH cant go. I am not allowed to bring C with me but at the same time feel like i need to be there for L :( My MIL suggested FIL look after C as he is not working but the thought of leaving her makes me want to cry. To top this off work keep asking me to come in for meetings / team building things (one of which is a stay over night in march) but i feel so bad saying no all the time. I just cant bear the thought of being away from her but at the same time i know i have other responsiblities :( Am i within my right saying no to work? will this anxiety go?
DH poor motility-Excellent SA following change in diet
BFP:26.09.08

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Tuesday, November 13th 2012, 8:44am

Sorry to hear you are having a tough time with this. Went I look back I had this a little and I suppose still do to a sense! My LO is 14 months and ive just left her with a babysitter, but we do live abroad and have no family here. I had left her with DH before plenty, just not with others. I felt anxious in general for about 4 months and then it just got so much better, so I put it down to all the hormones. I would take a visit to your Dr or health visitor and share your concerns with them. I am sure they will see this a lot, be able to reassure you and help you though it. I'm not sure what to suggest other than maybe easing the transition by leaving your LO with someone you trust for short periods first and build up to having to leave her for your eye operation. You'll see that after the first few times you leave her it isn't so bad - I hope. Leaving her overnight at this stage is still a bit early and you are breast feeding - does she take a bottle? She is only 3 months just now, so don't put too much pressure on yourself and go with what you feel comfortable with, but also try to tell yourself that there are times you have to leave her and that this is good for you and baby. Xxx

  • "jen84288" started this thread

Posts: 512

Reg: Aug 24th 2008

Children: 2 daughters

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3

Tuesday, November 13th 2012, 8:55am

thanks Amazing Grace :) she doesnt take a bottle which is why i feel that she is totally dependent on me and actually i quite like this :S i love that only i can feed her and this is a bit selfish i know but i just regretted giving up bf with DD1. It just causes problems when i have to do things for work etc. I have told them that i cant stay overnight because i am BF but i will try and get away for part of the day because hopefully by 7 months she will be feeding a little less often. I still feel that they probably think im being really awkward :(
DH poor motility-Excellent SA following change in diet
BFP:26.09.08

Posts: 7,737

Thanks: 109 / 63

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4

Tuesday, November 13th 2012, 11:11am

At the moment you have a perfect excuse, so use that and don't feel bad. My LO wouldn't take a bottle and I fed her for 9 and half months. People will have to accept that this is where your priorities are just now. You are not being awkward, you have a baby. The problem lies in the system in the UK actually. It is a shame that there is so much pressure on new mums and work. Hope things go well for you. Xxx

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Thursday, November 29th 2012, 1:15pm

You are not being awkward at all! Please don't feel any guilt whatsoever, you are balancing the needs of your family and your job in the way that you think is best. And therefore, it is best.
In case its of any help for later on, my LO never got to grips with a bottle so I am still BF him, but if he is out and about with our nanny, she gives him formula in a sippy cup. (I don't have time to express, so this is how we make do).
B
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