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  • "LadyLuck" started this thread

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1

Sunday, December 3rd 2006, 3:30pm

Would you take the dummy away, cold turkey?

I gave C a dummy when she had colic and it really helped to settle her. Also when BF she was using me as for comfort sucking too.

Anyway, she is not really bothered about her dummy during the day at all, she even falls asleep during the day in the pram or car without the dummy.

However, at night, even if she falls asleep originally without the dummy, C is constantly waking up through the night A LOT for her dummy. She settles straight back when I put the dummy back but cries again withing 30-45 mins cos its fallen out again.

This is really tiring me out and she is even awake for 1-2 hours each night well most nights and nothing will settle her.

HV advised its a good time to stop giving the dummy.

Has anyone got any advice to help guide me with this??



Rivka

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Sunday, December 3rd 2006, 4:44pm

Sorry to hear you're having this problem. I'm afraid I can't advise you on this one but I hope you get it sorted soon! x







  • "LadyLuck" started this thread

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Sunday, December 3rd 2006, 5:32pm

I tried to put her down without her dummy. She screamed and cried so much for so long her voice went croaky. I couldnt do it anymore, I had to give it to her.

Its so hard but I will do it. I just need some advice on how or what to do really and to know what to expect?



  • "lisaw2308" is 44 years old today

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Sunday, December 3rd 2006, 6:24pm

Nice to see you back online V!

My personal opinion is to not take dummy away yet, she's still a baby, we are not talking about a toddler (just in case anyone jumps on the band wagon) Dummies are a hot subject with ones that hate dummies! but if you have never used them then you can't understand :D, especially with a colicky baby for 3 mths of crying (& I know!!) Anyway, C has a muslin at night & during the day, so have you tried this only? Has she not ever tried to find her dummy herself? try the glow in dark ones? M&D had dummies during the day sometimes, & at night, Daisy is bothered at night, Molly has hers & she does not wake for it anymore & hasn't for at least 2 1/2 mths so I can only sympathise with the constant getting up as we don't have to now. If you do want to wean her off it I'm sure (only been told by others) it will take a few nights of screaming but maybe she will settle with her muslin? As she is still a baby & her dummy comforts her I would stick with it, if she was 2 yrs old then it's another debate but shes not.

HTH?

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  • "victoria82" is no longer a member of FZ

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Sunday, December 3rd 2006, 7:05pm

i am not a big fan when it comes to dummy but i did introduce it to dd when we had to travel on a plane so it can help her not to get earing ache. and when we got back i did withdraw it away from her graudually

however if you think it is time to take her away from dummy then it is. since she loves holding a cloth maybe you could give it to her during the night. what about introducing a teddy bear?

  • "LadyLuck" started this thread

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Sunday, December 3rd 2006, 8:13pm

Well I don't necessarily feel its time to take it away from her. I only ever use it for her not for me at all. If anything I leave her whining for as long as possible before I give her her dummy. I didn't want to use one but as explained it was introduced cos of colic and cos she was using me as a comforter, HV suggested dummy instead of my nipples as she was latched on constantly.

It was just that the HV suggested it is a good time to take dummy away. She said this as I told her about C waking through the night when her dummy has come out and she has realised its gone.

She does not attempt to find it herself, she just lies there with eyes closed whining and crying!

Yeah C loves her cloth, I tried it tonight with the cloth and no dummy but she was crying so much and would not calm down at all. She got into such a state so I gave in after 20 minutes of crying as she was struggling to breathe as her nose was running (may ahve a bit of a cold).

I just don't know what to do?



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Sunday, December 3rd 2006, 9:04pm

have you tried letting her sleep with it in then about 10 mins later taking it out? I do this with M, she has on occassion woken in the night and not rested till i give her her dummy but again i take it out after 10 mins of her sleeping.

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Sunday, December 3rd 2006, 9:11pm

DD2 had a dummy so that she didn't suck on me all the time. It got to the stage where I was up and down all night replacing the dummy. She'd wake because her dummy was gone and then I'd have to do the whole rigmarole of sorting her bedding out, putting her mobile on, music on and sometimes feeding her if I wasn't entirely sure that she was or wasn't hungry (oh ho.. no routines for me in those days!!! :rolleyes: ). I was sometimes up 8 times during the night and was feeding her to sleep. I was sleeping in her room, my room, her room etc... I was tired and she was a monster.

My HV came around, I discussed it with her and she suggested that I get rid of all the bits and bobs I used to get her to sleep.

That day I removed the mobile, chucked the dummies out, got rid of the music box, ditched the bedding in favour of a sleeping bag and put her down in her crib, walked out and shut the door. She cried for an hour.

That night I did the same thing and she cried for 45 minutes. She woke up once or twice during the night.

The next day she cried for 10 minutes before her daytime nap and at night she cried for 5 minutes.

By day three she was going straight to sleep and had magically transformed into a pleasant child. She was waking once in the night for a feed and going straight off again.

Two and a half years later and I still tell my HV that she turned my life around when she told me to lose the dummy.





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Sunday, December 3rd 2006, 9:17pm

yes have to agree with bells...dd2 was a dummy sucker...i think she loved that dummy more than me at a stage but was forever wakening until i got rid...totally up to you but if she can do without it dump it...try during the day til shes used to it.
if shes wakening when dummy falls out obviiously if you take away dummy eventually it will be problem solved.

  • "LadyLuck" started this thread

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Sunday, December 3rd 2006, 9:52pm

That sounds perfect. I should have stuck to it tonight. I jsut worried I was being cruel to let her cry that much for 20 minutes. It broke my heart.

I can try it though. Its so hard cos I am sleeping in the room with her here at mums so her crying goes right through me at 3am! I just went into her and her dummy is out but I have not heard a peep from her since about 8.30pm.

So is it ok to leave her to cry that much?



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Sunday, December 3rd 2006, 9:58pm

Only you know whether it's ok to leave her to cry. Some wil say NONONO!!, some will say yes it's ok.

My DD was waking so much that she was spending half the night crying anyway. I was tired, she was tired, I disliked her at this point (she was so much hard work) and I still had problems with feeding so was still sore, even then.

It took a cold heart to leave her to cry but the result was worth it for both of us and I personally don't feel that she suffered as a result of being left to cry at that point in her life and for those reasons.

(I sat outside in the garden with the monitor on low that first day)

It's not for everyone but it worked for me. You have to do what feels right for you.





IRISH

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Sunday, December 3rd 2006, 10:00pm

she'll be fine v....if it wasnt bothering her i'd say let her keep it but if shes like dd i'd say chuck it now..in fact tie a very heavy weight on to it and chuck it in the river if your dd is going to be anything like my dd was with a dummy...the stuff that nightmares are made of...hope your soon sorted v...:hugs:

  • "LadyLuck" started this thread

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Sunday, December 3rd 2006, 10:04pm

Well I can only try. I may do it when my mum is home so she can give me a bit of support with it. I crumble when I am on my own. My mum will make me strong which will help.

Thanks x x x



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Sunday, December 3rd 2006, 10:08pm

good idea...always good to have reinforcements with a willful baby....i love strongwilled babies....i'm a :loony: joes very very good but oh boy is he strong willed...part of which is why hes here :)
today for instance he said his 1st sentence...what was it you ask..."give me" :laugh: priceless

  • "LadyLuck" started this thread

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Tuesday, December 5th 2006, 9:01pm

Yeah, C too. She was my only little embryo that survived out of 4 and she hung on in there for all her might.

:hugs:



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Tuesday, December 5th 2006, 9:10pm

Oh V ;(, when you put it like that I think "let her keep the dummy, let her have anything she wants and... hell , buy her a pony for Christmas!!!!

:D





  • "LadyLuck" started this thread

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Tuesday, December 5th 2006, 9:19pm

smile2 Thats how I feel sometimes!!!

I have decided to keep dummy for now. I took it away yesterday and all she did was suck her thumb and I would rather her have a dummy than suck her thumb!

So decided to stick with it for now. May be the wrong thing to do but I have decided now, especially after all the screaming and crying she has been doing at night lately!!!!



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Tuesday, December 5th 2006, 9:40pm

Not 'wrong'!!! It's not the wrong thing to do if that's what your instincts are telling you. You have to weigh up the pros and cons and you have to be in the right frame of mind.

For me it was the right thing to do and I had no doubts at all about it, that's why it worked. I was at the end of my tether through sleeplessness and was in the right frame of mind at that time, it wouldn't have worked for me a couple of weeks earlier.

In a few weeks or a month you can look at it again. Eventually you'll think "yes, the dummy needs to go!", until then just play it by ear.





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Friday, January 5th 2007, 2:35pm

i just use my du, my to settle T down then remove it before she falls asleep so hopefully she wont become to dependant on it.

i have noticed that her fist is finding its way into her mouth alot now though.







  • "LadyLuck" started this thread

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Saturday, July 19th 2008, 10:21pm

No more dummies at 2 yrs - help!?!??!?!

Hi all, I know I haven't been about for a while but I have had stuff to do for myself.

Anyway, my head is clearer and owever, I am back on form.....

However, I wanted to ask for a bit of advice. C turned 2 last month and I decided one night last week to not give her her dummy at night time. She only has it for her daytime nap and to go to bed at night, or occasionally if she is feeling very poorly.

She went to bed one night and didn't ask for her dummy like usual so I just didn't give it to her. I sat with her for a bit as she seemed a bit lost, she had her muslin cloth (bybys) and had her eyes shut as if trying to sleep, but she kept making herself yawn and kept opening and closing her mouth as if tasting something. She clearly realised something was missing but she still didn't ask for her dummy. She eventually fell asleep.

Day 2 - Was the same, but she just kept chattering away inbetween yawns, she was clearly tired adn kept trying to sleep but again, it was as if something was missing and she was just unable to settle herself.

Day 3 - Was awful, she wouldn't even stay in bed. There is a stair gate on her bedroom door which I shut while she is going to sleep then open when I go to bed so she can come to me if she needs to during night or in the morning. Anyway, she was getting all her toys and putting them over the gate into the landing and chatting away. I sat with her to try to settle her but she kept tryng to make me laugh and was chatting away and really fidgetting. When I left she started screaming, this went on for almost 2 hrs, I did the controlled crying but she was screaming and screaming and in the end could barely breath properly so unfortunately I gave in, gave her her dummy and she fell asleep within minutes. I am living alone right now as DH lives away and I was really really stressing myself out and I had no patience to keep with it on my own, I needed some support.

Day 4&5 - I have give her her dummy.

I wondered if anyone had any advice or stories to tell. I don't think she wants her dummy, she isn't bothered whether she has it or not. But she just cannot settle herself at all and its causing problems.

I don't think I will try again until we are living with DH (Sept) as I need some support as it is really really tough.

Any advice, help info would really help, thanks ladies x x x

PS She has her inscisors coming up at the bottom and I know they are hurting her quite a bit.


This post has been edited 1 times, last edit by "LadyLuck" (Jul 19th 2008, 10:22pm)


  • "1xbaby pls" is no longer a member of FZ

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Saturday, July 19th 2008, 11:27pm

You do have the patients!!! need I cut and paste your CC Diary hmm do I do I lol.

Why not let her go to sleep with it at night then when she is asleep take it away, if she wakes and wont resettle then you may have to give in but maybe she wont wake for it. One step at a time even small steps count. I think something like this is not worth trying when they are teeting or sick they get in a state much quicker, Meaning you relent easier.
Do you remember Lulu & I ditched our Twins Dummies at the same time we also did Diary, not easy but we got there and life is much easier for doing it x x x x

Glad your back chick x x x
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  • "LadyLuck" started this thread

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Saturday, July 19th 2008, 11:39pm

Quoted

Originally posted by 1xbaby pls
You do have the patients!!! need I cut and paste your CC Diary hmm do I do I lol.



Haha, no you don't need to do that hun :O

As she only has it at night I won't worry for now as she has her teeth coming up and she never complained of pain with any of her teeth coming through until now. She doesn't wake up for her dummy in the night if she loses it, if anything she sleeps better. Since I took the dummy away she has been waking at 6-6.30am, this morning she didn't wake me until 7.30am and she went to sleep earlier.

When she had no dummy she wasn't settling till about 9pm and was waking up at 6-6.30am. But with a dummy she will sleep by 7.30-8pm and wakes up at 7-7.30am. So it seems better to stick with it for now.

I am moving (AGAIN!!!) in September back with DH (but to Wiltshire) so I may give it another go then, her teeth should be through by then too and DH can give me a bit of support to stop me going mad!!!

1xbaby to the rescue - again!!! Thanks babe :hugs:



  • "1xbaby pls" is no longer a member of FZ

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Saturday, July 19th 2008, 11:42pm

For you anything flower x x x
1st go ICSI - @ royal shewsbury and Telford NHS funded
25 eggs collected 27/3/06
15 fertilized - 8 grade A - 2 transfered 30th/3
test date - Thursday 13th April, BFP :D :D :D
:baby: ITS TWINS :baby:
M.L & J.F - Born 9/11/06 6w prem (6lb 5oz & 4lb 10oz)

  • "LadyLuck" started this thread

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Saturday, July 19th 2008, 11:45pm

:cheese:



Missy

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Sunday, July 20th 2008, 7:44am

We had almost the same experience, Lolly is really suffering with her last back teeth, so I've postponed dummy removal (attempt 3!) and potty training (attempt 500!!) until this is over with. She is a very stubborn young lady and ATM I don't have the patience for either!!

Just make sure you don't give it in the daytime etc, this was a mistake we made and we find it very hard to remove it now!

xxx








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Chilli

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Sunday, July 20th 2008, 8:37am

It's hard eh?

This time round Flo has a dummy but like M at this age she isn't that bothered in fact she hasn't had it for 2 days, I only use it if she gets over tired and is sucky on my breast for comfort.

M has hers at night simply because she knows Flo has one and I just didn't want to cause any kind of jealously. wish I had taken it away when she was one she would of been fine X(

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Sunday, July 20th 2008, 9:52am

Thats good Chilli, thats what I intend to do. I remember my mum actually forcing the dummy into Laurens mouth one day when she really didn't want it! She wasn't crying or rooting, and this time around I'm not falling back into the dummy trap!!!








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Sunday, July 20th 2008, 12:22pm

mmmmmm

PP rejected the dummy at 4 months despite my mother's insistence he have one

JJ is a dummy dude and loves it. he's now a year old, and about 2 months ago was still waking if he lost the dummy and we decided we had enough and hid all the dummies so the nanny didnt take the easy option and give it to him. takes him a few minutes of crying to settle at night but he does.

at 2 years old though.... they are really settled in their ways by now. Why do you want to remove the dummy now? If she needs it during the day, I would say try and stop it, but at night time if that is her way of settling, let her be. She WILL grow out of it. My younger sister still used a dummy at night until she was 6 years old, and no harm came of it. She eventually gave it away in exchange for a doll.

Chilli

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Sunday, July 20th 2008, 12:53pm

I agree at night so what? it's in for a matter of minutes why do we make life hard for ourselves if it settles her then so be it.

I made such a hoo ha about M not having a dummy at two, the day after her birthday we took it away (she has only really ever had it at night, occassionally I relented and gave it to her during the day) she screamed and screamed I called my mum for a chat and she was the one who kind of put it into prospective 1.she doesn't run around with a dummy hanging out of her mouth 2. she gives it to me the minute she gets up, so what? she's 2 she doesn't yet understand what not having the dummy means. When she does I will take it away till then.

  • "LadyLuck" started this thread

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Sunday, July 20th 2008, 5:25pm

I am not really that worried about her not having a dummy to be honest. There is nothing I love more than a freshly bathed little girl with her dummy and bybys cuddle, all ready for bed.

I just give it to her for her day nap (if she has one) and at night time. Other than that she does'nt have it and doesn't ask for it either. She doesn't even ask at night. Thats why I decided that night not to give it to her if she doesnt want it. But she really could not settle and it was over 2 hrs of screaming cos she couldnt settle, although she still didn't ask for her dummy.

I think I will just leave it for now. I suppose it's on my mind about the dummy effecting her teeth. DH keeps on saying seh shouldnt' have a dummy now cos his mates babies don't have them. And you get some comments from some people that she is too old for a dummy.

But like you say, she doesn't have it during the day running about with it in her mouth - she only has it when sleeping so why worry.

Thanks ladies x x x blowkiss

Re the potty training - we are not stressing about that at all. Although I do put her ont he toilet before her bath, before bed and in the morning when she wakes up in case she wants one. We have a wee wee chart and she gets a smiley sticker if she does one and she loves the praise. Also if she asks for the toilet I put her on and a lot of the time she does one. But there is no pressure and no knickers about at the moment. But its a great step in the right direction. We was out today and I needed the loo, she said she wanted a wee wee after I had one, so I put her on and she did one, bless her so she gets her praises adn all that, but I wouldn't say "I was potty training". At nursery they ask her if she wants to go with all the slightly older kids in her classroom.






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