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  • "Limpet" started this thread

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1

Monday, September 4th 2006, 8:19pm

Potty training

Can anyone who has gone through potty training enlighten me as to how soon control of bladder/bowel improves from five seconds to a minute or two?

We all know that the whole learning process starts with the greased-lightning mother running across the room, potty in hand, yanking pants down at speed so that the wee is in the potty within five seconds of the first warning. How soon can I get a bit of confidence to be able to go out?! I think that ending up with poo in your pants stuck in the car in the early days would be distressing for a child who's just learning. Would that distress increase his control, or make him give up on the whole idea and pine for nappies again? DS1 is 2 years, 7 months old, so he's worked out the idea quite quickly in his head, but it's just how able his body is to act out what he wants.

Any thoughts gratefully received please.
Had a total of three fresh IVF cycles and three frozen transfers (embryos and blastocysts)
m/c @ 11 weeks in 2007 DS1 and DS2 born from fresh IVF cycles :D
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Monday, September 4th 2006, 8:38pm

If only I could advise :rolleyes: I'm at the same stage but I have the most stubborn child on the entire planet who refuses to tell me that she wants a wee. She can go all day (6-7 hours) without a nappy, sit on the potty every 20 minutes and not do a wee but the moment I turn my back she widdles down her leg. :rolleyes:


If I've asked "do you want a wee?" two hundred times today I wouldn't be surprised.


***having said all this I've just asked if she did the usual widdle down the leg today and it turns out that she did wee on the potty after her tea. ***

Anyway.... I take her out with knickers on but I'm conscious of time. I know that she can go for several hours without having a wee so I have the potty in the car and keep asking her. Ultimately she usually ends up having wet pants if we're out for more than a few hours as she refuses to wee on a public loo :rolleyes:

Does DS tell you he wants a wee or does he do that blank expression?





  • "Limpet" started this thread

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Monday, September 4th 2006, 9:22pm

On the morning of day 1 of pants, he did wees all over the place, not in the potty. That afternoon, he worked out that he didn't like puddles, so he started holding it in for hours and hours - yes, like your DD, he has control!! This morning, he did 6 out of 6 wees in the potty!! Yay! It's a mixture of asking for the potty in a fairly desperate/urgent fashion or clutching at his crotch and trying to cross his legs or moaning (that's more reserved for poos). We then had two accidents late this afternoon as he said he did NOT want to go on the potty. Five seconds later, puddle on the floor. We've already reached the stage of not asking if he wants to go on the potty unless I spot one of the above signs. Bells - have you tried bribery? Raisins have worked a treat (raisins get given for every star on the star chart), but we don't usually have snacks, so maybe that's why they've been especially popular. I thought it was worth snacking just to get him convinced that dry pants were a good idea. How did DD1 do Bells?
Had a total of three fresh IVF cycles and three frozen transfers (embryos and blastocysts)
m/c @ 11 weeks in 2007 DS1 and DS2 born from fresh IVF cycles :D
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Monday, September 4th 2006, 9:45pm

Have I tried bribery??? I have the bribery crown... I am the queen of bribery!! :rolleyes:

It started with the star chart, she didn't want the stickers on the chart she wanted them on her top. Then she wanted them on the chart but they had lost their 'stick'..... sigh... so that all ended in tears.

We bribed with new knickers. She REALLY wanted those knickers but to the question "will you do wee wees on the potty now?" her answer was "no!". :rolleyes:

Biscuits... "if you do a wee wee you can have a biscuit" .... "I not want a biscuit!"

Finally chocolate! I sit with the chocolate in front of her, let her smell it and tell her that she can have it "ok" she says gleefully.... "do a wee on your potty then you can have the nice chocolate" I say to which she replies.... "no! I want a nappy on" ;(

DD1 was dry at 2 then it all went wrong for no reason at all. She was in nappies at night until October last year (6yrs old) and still wets her knickers a little bit daily.... :rolleyes: She's seen the doc, school nurse, had urine tests, seen consultants etc....

I give up!





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Tuesday, September 5th 2006, 8:06am

so reassuring to read this! we have been advised not to start yet with dd (2 exactly) due to the recent upheavals for her, but she does have a sit in the toilet before a bath and after daytime nap if we are in. she also loves watching me go! she is very rarely "successful" and doesn't seem to have any concept of needing a wee, but is starting to know when she needs a poo. i am trying to get everything else ready (concentration skills, dressing skills etc) so when the time comes it will be easier, but pressure (very subtle) from the MIL is driving me (for want of a better expression) potty!!!
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Tuesday, September 5th 2006, 1:03pm

I don't know anything but, i have heard ginas guide to potty training in a week is supposed to be good!! xxx
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  • "Limpet" started this thread

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Tuesday, September 5th 2006, 1:33pm

I'm following Gina's one-week guide pretty much, but you can't anticipate your child's psychology. For us:

day 1: lots of accidents, but if you've only ever wee'd in a nappy before, you've got to know what's going on.

day 2: a few successes, notably 3 poos all in the potty. Stars on chart, happiness all round, proud child.

day 3: six out of six wees and one big poo all in the potty. Fantastic, more stars, more dancing around.

day 4: absolute refusal to wee in the potty or even sit on it. Near hysteria when potty suggested. Bladder control becoming impressive - wee on floor at 9am, then nothing until 1.10pm. Morning playing fairly happily, but crotch being clutched increasingly after midday, almost crying/whimpering with the effort to hold it in, but a gentle reminder for the potty was answered with a resounding "no". He requested it himself at 12.50pm (I obliged as un-pressured as possible), got off with no wee, then at 1.10pm, the floodgates opened on the floor.

What happened? There were no frights/fears/upsets that might have triggered it, as far as I can tell. The joy of a toddler's mind - irrational, or deeply private, or just plain unknown. Thanks Gina for the plan, but I can't follow it, despite my best intentions!!....
Had a total of three fresh IVF cycles and three frozen transfers (embryos and blastocysts)
m/c @ 11 weeks in 2007 DS1 and DS2 born from fresh IVF cycles :D
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  • "Limpet" started this thread

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Tuesday, September 5th 2006, 1:37pm

Vege - I know what you mean about pressure from MIL - my pressure comes from my own mother who thinks we should have done all this about a year ago. :rolleyes: X( It is soooooooooo hard, even though DS1 knows what it's all about. Having a second child was a big shock in upping the stakes of hard work, but potty training one with a 4-month old around too - agony!!

Don't even think about it for a while yet, unless DD specifically asks.
Had a total of three fresh IVF cycles and three frozen transfers (embryos and blastocysts)
m/c @ 11 weeks in 2007 DS1 and DS2 born from fresh IVF cycles :D
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Tuesday, September 5th 2006, 2:37pm

thasnks limpet, i am so sick of old school people who tell us how they trained their kids by 18 months every time... more like they trained themselves to stick around indoors all day and catch most of it on the potty!
adoption...after a typically long journey, approved November 05, linked with strawb December 05, Brought our princess home May 06, aged 21 months

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Tuesday, September 5th 2006, 3:10pm

Mmmmm no idea then!!! I haven't read it yet!! I was gonna try at 18 months, dreading it with two though!! xxx
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Thursday, September 7th 2006, 8:20pm

Well we've had a breakthrough today!

After a couple of months of my incredibly strong willed DD2 not entertaining the thought of going nappyless and using the potty mainly by accident, today she's decided that she 'can' do it.

This morning she was playing nappyless with only a nightie on and suddenly ran to the pottychair for a wee (unprompted). The potty was only a few steps away and there was no clothing barrier so from realising she wanted a wee to doing it was only a matter of seconds.

This afternoon we were in the kitchen and she said "I need my potty!" so we ran to the living room and I got her knicks and pants down in time for her to have a wee. This took maybe 15-20 seconds.

This evening we were at DD1's riding lesson and she declares again "I need my potty!" so I pulled her jods and knicks down and dangled her over the grid.... "NO! I want my POTTY!" so we pulled the pants back up, ran to the car, got the potty out, pulled pants back down again and she did a wee on her potty. I reckon it was around a minute from asking for the potty to doing a wee.

She seems to have finally got the idea, has stopped resisting and is able to hold on for a little while at least.

I'm shocked and very pleased. :))

I'm not counting my chickens just yet :D





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Thursday, September 7th 2006, 8:33pm

Awwww well done dd2!!! xxx
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Thursday, September 7th 2006, 9:10pm

:D I know! :D

..... let's see if she makes me eat my words tomorrow :rolleyes:





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Thursday, September 7th 2006, 9:12pm

I'm sure she will be perfect!!! xxx
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Thursday, September 7th 2006, 9:22pm

dan just wasnt ready till he was 3, it was like someone had flicked a switch in his head and he just woke up about 2 weeks after his 3rd bday and just did it.
we did have to ask him if he needed the toilet a billion times a day, and runhim to the loo when he started grabbing in that general driection but tbh i think he knew what to do by then. before then he just used to wee every where, i tried pull ups and he ended up just using them as nappies so we stopped that, but as soon as i knew he could do it, he was straight into pants and we have never looked back since.
he wore pull ups in bed till i had had 3 weeks of dry pull ups in the morning.
i think as long as you dont make a big deal about it when they do have accidents it wont frighten them, and LOTS of praise when they do it right, oh and when you decide 'nows the time' stick to it, dont go back to nappies, it confuses them.

good luck ladies!
hope you have dry little ones by christmas :D



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Thursday, September 7th 2006, 9:31pm

Thanks Clare and Cookie :]

They do say that if you start potty training at 2 they'll be dry by 3 and if you start at 3 they'll be dry by 3. I haven't specifically 'tried' with DD2 but the potty has become part of the furniture and we've been talking about wee wees and potties for a few months now although she has generally been in nappies as she was more comfortable that way.


Today was a total fluke ..... :D

I'm not even thinking about night times as she goes to bed at 6.30pm and sleeps until 8, wakes up and has a natter then sometimes goes back to sleep if we're not up (weekends). She's still in her cot too so can't get up to use a potty....

If it's going really well during the day I'll have to put her into a bed 8o... and then get a baby gate on her door 8o

Oh crikey... nappies are so much easier :D





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Thursday, September 7th 2006, 10:19pm

awww thats great news bells...shes a smart little lady :D

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Thursday, September 7th 2006, 10:38pm

Hubby's just come home and I've talked at him for half an hour solid about my day :D Gawd, I need a drink now... I've no saliva left :D





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Friday, September 8th 2006, 8:19am

:D Whoooo hoooo- well done DD! (and mummy!)


Oh- and btw Bells, i quite often chew off DH's ear the second he walks in the door..... sometimes i've not spoken to anyone all day and if i don't tell him straight away I'll forget. :D





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Friday, September 8th 2006, 10:20am

oh one more thing i did with dan aswell, on the going out front. i put the potty in the boot of the car. i kept asking him if he needed a wee all the time, if he said yes we just used to pull over and he would have a sit in the boot, me leaning in to stop people looking. it was very effective, didnt have one accident in the car. :]

watch him have one now ive said that lol!



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Friday, September 8th 2006, 12:57pm

when potty training Callum if we were going out I used to put pull-ups on him so that if we didn;t make it or were in the car it was ok
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Wednesday, September 13th 2006, 1:53pm

well, just out of the blue strawb and i decided we'd give it a go today. so far she has had one wee on the toilet, one accident without asking for potty, one accident when i h=was in the cellar getting the potty, then three wees on the potty- she has a tiny tiny wee, stops herself then says she needs the potty and goes. she also did a poo on the potty (with a little tiny accident after) she is very impressed with stickers, and her face lit up when i told her we would go out after her nap and buy some pretty knickers! (i have about six pairs in the wash today now!)
adoption...after a typically long journey, approved November 05, linked with strawb December 05, Brought our princess home May 06, aged 21 months

single mum since dec 08, and very grateful for the FZ support through the whole lot xx



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  • "Limpet" started this thread

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Wednesday, September 13th 2006, 8:22pm

Well done, Veg. Sounds promising!

We've made huge progress since my desperate posts of last week. DS1 gets almost every single wee in the potty now and can hold on long enough to get to it even if it's the other end of the house. I'm still helping with removal of trousers and pants, but we'll work on that later. Poos are mostly good, but we were out this morning and he didn't ask me so we had a little pant-containing accident. Two more poos this afternoon were on target, including in the middle of the doctor's surgery ("find the potty" was the request, so I did, and he delivered!).

In the car, we've had no accidents at all; it's as if he knows it's not the right time and he holds on, sometimes crotch-grabbingly literally.

According to good advice, I've created two cushions using cushion covers and inside a folded towel on top of a plastic bag to catch leakages. He doesn't know that they're plastic, and just thinks they're special big-boy cushions, one for car seat, one for buggy.

Also, I've not used pull-ups and think they could be confusing. One of the best things about accidents is that they're uncomfortable and you quickly learn that wet pants and trousers is the result of doing a wee in the wrong place Pull-ups absorb too much!
Had a total of three fresh IVF cycles and three frozen transfers (embryos and blastocysts)
m/c @ 11 weeks in 2007 DS1 and DS2 born from fresh IVF cycles :D
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Thursday, September 14th 2006, 8:36am

i completely agree in principle about the pull-ups, but in practice, am sticking to using them when out for a little while- early days for both me and strawb
x
adoption...after a typically long journey, approved November 05, linked with strawb December 05, Brought our princess home May 06, aged 21 months

single mum since dec 08, and very grateful for the FZ support through the whole lot xx



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Friday, September 15th 2006, 7:53am

yesterday we were out all morning which was hard on dd as she was just getting the hang of things, so today we are staying in all day and spending the day in knickers- what fun! she wakes up and says potty and stars now!
adoption...after a typically long journey, approved November 05, linked with strawb December 05, Brought our princess home May 06, aged 21 months

single mum since dec 08, and very grateful for the FZ support through the whole lot xx



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  • "Limpet" started this thread

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Thursday, December 7th 2006, 1:58pm

How's it going now, Vege? And Bells, wasn't DD2 just getting the hang of it when this thread was last active?

I'm pleased to say that DS1 is brilliant at it all now and I don't really worry about it any more. I still take the potty out with me, but he rarely asks for it and hasn't had an accident for weeks now. What a star! Phew, glad that chapter's over!
Had a total of three fresh IVF cycles and three frozen transfers (embryos and blastocysts)
m/c @ 11 weeks in 2007 DS1 and DS2 born from fresh IVF cycles :D
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Thursday, December 7th 2006, 6:53pm

Yes, we've well and truly cracked it :)) I just make sure she uses the potty or loo before we set off anywhere and she uses big loos when we're out. I keep a potty in the car for emergencies although she's not averse to weeing on the ground ( :O )


Yesterday we had our first accident in about 6 weeks :rolleyes: I picked DD1 up from school and we all went down to the horses. Both had their all in one ski suits on and waterproof overcoats as it was pouring with rain. We go to the field gate and DD2 fell over in the mud :rolleyes:.... a few more yards inside the field she froze and wailed "I'm doing a weeeeee ;( ;( ".

She refused to move as her suit and clothes were wet, it was pouring with rain and I had no spare clothes with me. I took her to the hay store (which is just metal gates with a tarpaulin over) stood her on her coat and stripped her off. She was stood wearing only a top and socks so I whipped my fleece off, put it on her, tied some baling string around her waist and put her wellies back on ... she looked like a nativity shepherd :D I stuck her raincoat on and sat her on a bale of straw while I gathered up my things to go home. It was my own fault, she hadn't been to the loo for hours and I brought her out without asking her to.

It was a palaver but the thing that struck me is that she HATED being wet and was most upset about it. With my eldest that's never happened, she's still quite happy to walk around in wet knickers at 7 years of age X(.

I'm quite amazed how easy it was after all the problems I had with my eldest. I was dreading it so much.





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Thursday, December 7th 2006, 7:52pm

Aw bless them, they are all doing so well! x

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Friday, December 8th 2006, 8:05am

well- we are done! strawb pretty much mastered it within a week. I swear its because i didn't push it until she was ready! just gone into no nappy at night- although to be honest she has been dry at night for about 6 weeks. she wakes me when she needs a wee. we just wanted to wait until she was out of the cotbed so she could take herself if she needed to and i didn't hear her calling.

i'm very proud of her.
x
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single mum since dec 08, and very grateful for the FZ support through the whole lot xx



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Monday, March 12th 2007, 3:41pm

** POTTY TRAINING **

Ok obviously not yet!! But any particular age I should work toward or any signs she is ready? When did you all start?

xxx








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Monday, March 12th 2007, 7:48pm

RE: When to potty train?

i will like to know that question too.

maybe Vegemite might help us with this :]

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Monday, March 12th 2007, 8:01pm

RE: When to potty train?

me too! I've ben wondering when to start, one of my friends little girl is 2 1/2 she just started, I don't know if thats late or not? hope someone can help? my neighbour's little girl was out of nappies at bedtime by the age of 3 yrs. I was thinking maybe 2 years?
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Monday, March 12th 2007, 8:13pm

I have just brought the gina ford potty training book. She has a list of things that baby needs to do. Hang on i'll get it and write them in!! xxx
Mum of 3 year old twins.
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Monday, March 12th 2007, 8:19pm

1.The toddler should be 18 months old at least,

2. His nappy is frequebntly dry when you get him up from his lunchtime nap, or a dry nappy a couple of hours since last nappy change.

3. He is aware when he is doing a poo

4. she can follow simple instructions eg, go fetch your red ball

5. he is eager to participate in taking off his own clothes, an dunderstands what pulling his shorts up and down means.

6. Can point to different parts of his body when named,

7. Has the ability to sit still and occupy himself or concentrate for 5-10 mins with a toy or book.


NB She reccomends AGE 2 for twins. xxx
Mum of 3 year old twins.
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Monday, March 12th 2007, 8:55pm

oh great me & you have an extra 6 months didds!! I've seen her books have some good things in. so are you gonna wait until 2 years?

thankyou
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Monday, March 12th 2007, 8:58pm

thanks Diddle

i think i might go and buy that book too :)

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Monday, March 12th 2007, 9:02pm

NOPE!!! You know me, i like to break the rules!!! Well i say no, mine do 5ish of the 7 things, so as soon as they are doing all of them i will start. Think i am aiming for may, i have a week off then!!! xxx
Mum of 3 year old twins.
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Monday, March 12th 2007, 9:04pm

LOL!!

Yes, my friend had a week off, which you do need & so do they, I think (maybe not!) it may be easier with twins? do you agree? they can help each other? or I can say use the potty like Daisy, or is that wishful thinking?
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This post has been edited 1 times, last edit by "lisaw2308" (Mar 12th 2007, 9:05pm)


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Monday, March 12th 2007, 9:06pm

NOOOOOOOOOO!!!! That is exactly what she tells you NOT to do!!! She says if you compare them then one may become withdrawn and feel a failure, its very complex you know!!! xxx
Mum of 3 year old twins.
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40

Monday, March 12th 2007, 9:12pm

now thats why I've never been a fan of GF!!!!!!!! sounds complex, can't wait to try (NOT!) but it will save so much money!
PCOS
TTC 7 Yrs
2nd IVF - Blastocyst Embies
unbelievable BFP & TWINS!!
Now have beautiful twin girls




My family is now finally complete.

This post has been edited 1 times, last edit by "lisaw2308" (Mar 12th 2007, 9:12pm)


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41

Monday, March 12th 2007, 9:16pm

I haven't even thought of this yet!! I think will wait until he shows more signs of being ready- the advice that i've read suggests that the older they are then the quicker/easier it is to achieve.
x





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42

Tuesday, March 13th 2007, 7:08am

Supernanny reckons not before 2 1/2 years old.





  • "Limpet" started this thread

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43

Thursday, March 29th 2007, 3:32pm

If you start too early, it can actually cause more problems as the child gets confused and can't keep him/herself clean/dry. Because I moved house and because I had a second baby, I didn't start DS1 till he was 2 years 7 months. In retrospect, he actually got the hang of it quite quickly, but it seemed like forever at the time. Diddle, if you read the "potty training in 7 days" book, don't be fooled by it. Some children will manage it, but you will only deceive yourself if you think you can have your normal life back after one week.

Good to do it in the summertime so that they don't get too cold with their pants/trousers permanently off. I felt bad that I didn't start with DS1 till 2.5 years old, but second time around I'm much more laid back and agree with what MrsJ says which is not to start till 2.5 unless the child is literally begging for no nappies. It might be cheaper not to need nappies, but it takes more time having to help a child onto the potty, wipe their bottom, empty and clean potty and then deal with accidents - wash extra clothes and of course clean off all the lumps of poo first. Exciting times ahead if you've never done it before!!

It's not only Gina Ford who says not to compare twins if one does better than the other. It's important to handle their progress separately but if the slower one watches the successful one and wants to copy, then great, but don't make a point of it yourself.

I'm sure we had another thread about pottying back last summer when there were a few of us doing it (Veg, Bells, me). I'll see if I can find it and bump it up.
Had a total of three fresh IVF cycles and three frozen transfers (embryos and blastocysts)
m/c @ 11 weeks in 2007 DS1 and DS2 born from fresh IVF cycles :D
:D

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44

Thursday, March 29th 2007, 3:35pm

Bumping this up for Missy and others.
Had a total of three fresh IVF cycles and three frozen transfers (embryos and blastocysts)
m/c @ 11 weeks in 2007 DS1 and DS2 born from fresh IVF cycles :D
:D

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45

Thursday, March 29th 2007, 3:36pm

Aww cheers hun, have decided to keep potty in the cupboard now until we are ready to start :))

I think I will follow the Gina Ford book too, and start around 18 months :))

xxx








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46

Thursday, March 29th 2007, 3:39pm

Thanks we start easter sunday 8o
Mum of 3 year old twins.
Had ICSI worked first time


Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what your gonna get!!



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Thursday, March 29th 2007, 4:00pm

How soon has that come 8o 8o 8o

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Thursday, March 29th 2007, 4:02pm

Are they really showing all the signs Diddle? Wow!
Had a total of three fresh IVF cycles and three frozen transfers (embryos and blastocysts)
m/c @ 11 weeks in 2007 DS1 and DS2 born from fresh IVF cycles :D
:D

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49

Thursday, March 29th 2007, 4:38pm

Limpet did you use ginas potty training guide??

Yes Diddle, I certainly read it, along with a couple of other books too. As you know, personally (yes we always have to say that) I found her routines brilliant and therefore like to read her advice about various things and was confident that I could follow it, but the seven-day thing did *not* work for us. Simply too fast. In retrospect, I reckon that we were on fairly safe ground by about three weeks, and that is quite quick, I think. I'm guessing that an older child who's really ready for it might manage in as little as seven days. You can go for it if you want, but make sure you have enough time/support after the seven days that you can maintain the momentum of training without them going backward. Do they go to nursery much/at all, or will there be a single carer (you, DH or relative) looking after them?
Had a total of three fresh IVF cycles and three frozen transfers (embryos and blastocysts)
m/c @ 11 weeks in 2007 DS1 and DS2 born from fresh IVF cycles :D
:D

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50

Thursday, March 29th 2007, 5:52pm

don't rush yourself girls though, if they start stressing about it give them a few more months. ours was a doodle because we waited until SHE wanted to.
adoption...after a typically long journey, approved November 05, linked with strawb December 05, Brought our princess home May 06, aged 21 months

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