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spud has always been funny about gravy and beans etc...he does like them in a bowl on his plate rather than next to and covering everything else, he does like his plate a certain way, but i put it infront of hima nd he adjusts it to how he wants it.
he isnt too bad with his food, but he does like dry foods better than things with sauces ......if we have spag-bol for example, he will eat all of the pasta then eat the bolognese he will never mix it up, or if he has a ham sandwich he will eat the ham first then the bread....maybe your ds likes to see than there isnt any contamination from other foods.....i think thats what it is with spud, i just invested in LOADS of little tiny 'nibbles bowls' from ikea and everything he is a bit suss about i put in a bowl next to his plate.

hope that helps a bit....not sure its an age thing...think it might be a lad thing lol!

you are doing the right thing in not moving it for him, spud has done that too, but like you say they ARE capable so i wouldnt do it for him.

i am daring sometimes....i do something like mixed steamed veg and rice mixed together and spud looks at it (and me ) like i am bonkers, but he has learned to eat it and he is less 'twitchy' about that now, it just takes time....i think the fussy eating will always be a small issue with spud because i have 'let' him be like it in a way. but i just feel that if he is happy with his beans in a bowl next to his toast i would rather do that than not have him touch it iykwim??

..........i AM hoping that he will grow out of it eventually tho.

Limpet as a "strict" mummy i would just put it on the table and say you can eat it or not eat it, but you won't get anything else!!! I certainly wouldn't start stressing over making sure his foods aren't touching, try letting him help you in the kitchen, do some simple cooking of foods that involve mixing together so he can see how it can be tasty eg strawberries and ice cream. I think if you give in it could make things worse. xxx

Limpet, I'm sorry to say that i'm one of those children who never got over food touching each other !

I cannot bear foods touching and if anything on my plate touches something else it gets left on the plate! Total weirdo i know. Beans are the worst! Oh my god, i totally freak out of they touch other things - make everything go soggy - yuk! Oh i'm making myself feel sick thinking about it! Another bad thing is scrambled eggs on toast - why would anyone do that?!!!!! Its got to be toast on one plate and eggs on the other!

I'm also a bit weird in that if i have say three things on one plate i eat all of one thing before i eat the next thing and so on.

Complete freak. been doing it since the age of 3 and i'm now 27!!!!

heres hoping DS1 is not like me! My parents tried not to give on to me and always put everything on the one plate and things touched each other, as happens, so i just chose not to eat the bits that had touched each other. They used to go crazy but they eventually had to accept it as 24 years later i'm still the same nutcase!

Michelle xx

Oh you poor thing, My DD likes to feed herself only she is not so good at it, she won't even entertain the idea of letting you help, so after a given time if she hasn't eaten it i take it away!! Its so hard when they are screaming and arching there nack though isn't it??? xxx

S just can't do it!!! Bless her, she does try. B just eats it witrh his fingers!!! xx

oh hun, i really don't know what to suggest?? Does he have his own chair and table or ait at a proper table?? Could you let him have sarnies or something thats his fave for a few days let him help and let him set the table etc??? xx

I haven't replied up to now as this is the one thing we don't have problems with. We have to do certain things in certain orders and some routines cannot be changed or else we would have not just a period of abbdabs but an entire day of them.

I'm hoping, like you, that it's a developmental stage to do with feeling in control. I know that my DD hates being little and hates other people treating her like a child/idiot, she also hates change and combined it all makes her feel out of control.

An example. She eats and drinks from normal cutlery and crockery but in the morning she still has milk in her anywayupcup. It's the first thing she asks for when she gets up, you have to put the cup on the tabe, she lies on the sofa in the same place with a cushion under her head, there cannot be anything else on the sofa. She drinks her milk in around 45 seconds then drops the cup on the floor. I can try to change this but she will cry and scream and cry and scream, be sick, cough, retch, lie on the floor and she won't forget it all day.

I know that I could spend a week weaning her off the behaviour but it's easier for me to go along with it, the whole thing takes three minutes from start to finish and it's over for the rest of the day. i'm sure she'll have grown out of it by the time she's ten, if she hasn't she can get her blimmin milk herself!!! The long and short of this behaviour is that I think "so what???", no child was scared for life for drinking milk out of an unsuitable receptacle..... although the 'playgroup mothers' would probably disagree

Now, I think the difference is that this foible is short and sweet, your DS's foible is going to affect your family at least three times a day, it will affect him at nursery, at friend's houses, at school..... and so I do feel that it's worth tackling rather than ignoring.

I would worry that it's a perpetuating thing where he just gets his plate layout right and looks for something else to focus on, his chair is right and so he looks at your chair... next week is it going to be the cutlery? He does sound so familiar to me in that he's willing to make a fight out of something for the sake of it and he's obviously treating this like a very serious hobby. If I knew the answer to your problem I'd be happier myself because we have the same thing going on here to a lesser degree. If I could understand my own DD2 I would be much more qualified to help you. There are just some children that aren't as straightforward as all the books or telly programmes would have you believe.

I'm hoping that with age will come more stable reasoning. I know that my own DD2 understands far too much of the wrong things and is too emotional to deal with a lot of things that life throws at her. She is incredibly sensitive to her own feelings and emotions and yet her emotional immaturity stops her from being able to control those feelings yet. Maybe I'm comparing him too closely to my own child but I get the feeling that there is a real similaity there.

I've typed and deleted so many times...... I can relate to it all up to the last paragraph, the being a baby .... no, I tell a lie... it's exactly the same thing that happens here but with a younger sibling rather than a younger one. I have DD2 wanting to do the things that her older sister is doing, it must be the same thing.

I've told you before about the singing thing. If I hum along I get told "you can't sing!", if I carry on she will come over and put her hand over my mouth while saying "you can't sing you can't sing you can't sing!!!!" If I still carry on she will become slowly hysterical until she's screaming, throwing herself at me and unconsolable.

Last week DH had a word with her, it worked, sort of...... instead of "you can't sing you can't sing you can't sing!!!!" I got "No! you can dance No! you can dance No! you can DANCE!!!" There's no reasoning with her, she doesn't listen and she can sit on the stairs 100 times a day but it doesn't help her get a rein on those darned emotions of hers.


Two days ago she got shouted at and told that Mummy can sing and that ****** must NOT shout at Mummy for singing!" he went over being naughty and being good, being silly and behaving, he had his best stern voice on.......it worked. She forgot about it a few times and went back to her usual antics but (and it pains me to say) I reminded her "what did Daddy say?" and she tolerated my signing while visibly twitching because she wanted to tell me not to. Like a puppy being trained not to chew a sofa she eventually ignored my singing.

Take from that what you will. I tried the new age reasoning, I tried ignoring, I tried sitting on the stairs and it doesn't work with this one, it was a case of "wait till your Father gets home" that got the results I needed.


He does have handcuffs, a baton and CS spray though......

Oh hun sorry this is still going on for you. Not sure what to suggest really, does he enjoy helping in the kitchen if its more of a game would this help??? xx

Oh good!

If it's any help I can visualise the 'carried out of the room kicking and screaming' thing because we did it for the last time... *looks at clock* about six hours ago

Today's overreaction was because she did NOT want a spoon to eat her strawberries, she wanted a fork. I got her a fork and put the spoon on the table only that wasn't good enough.... oh no.... she wanted me to put the spoon in the kitchen. After 10 minutes of 'that cry' she went out into the hall.

Does it make you feel better to know that it's not just you? It certainly makes me feel better that it's not just me!!!

My DH is 27 and still hates food touching on his plate his mum thought he would grow out it but he hasnt.

My DD is 6 next week and is also a bit like that.

Oh the fork vs spoon episode is so yesterday! Today's episode was over her wanting me to take her some milk upstairs. I stood at the bottom of the stairs with the cup and told her to come and get it but she stood at the top of the stairs screaming and shouting "I can't get it, you have to bring it!". I offered to meet her halfway but no, not good enough . It was a stalemate until Dad intervened again and told her that the milk was going down the sink if she did NOT come and get it!!!

I was SO good as disclipline but this child has me tearing my hair out!!!!

Will they ever realise that compromise is easier than fighting???

Oh and the lump of jelly thing *nodding furiously* YES!!! You can't pick them up can you???? Last episode of the 'jelly drop' was tonight at bedtime!

DD does not like you to lift her up or carry her down from bed/sofa/steps. If you lift her to help her she runs right back to where she initially was and does it herself. Often, there's no point in trying to lift her from the 'jelly drop' as she will have to go right back to where she started and walk/climb herself.


Hohoho!

clap well said limpet!